A/N: Hello my lovely readers. This update was very slow, but I've been going through some stuff so I hope you guys understand. Thank you all for reviewing, I really really appreciate it.

And I'd like to give a shout out to my anonymous reader Kiki. Thank you for always reviewing and having lots of kind words to say. I'd reply to you each time if I could. Just wanted to let you know I do love your reviews.

Anyway, without further ado.

Chapter 21: Pain and Pleasure

The morning after Jacob and I had made love was wonderful; I awoke with a warm, fuzzy feeling in my tummy and a heart that swelled every time I ran my hands over his bare back. Skin burning beneath my touch. He looked so peaceful laying there next to me, a content look on his face. Taking years away from his features. Revealing the nineteen year old boy he really was. Not a worry on his mind.

When he'd woken up from his peaceful little world, a frown was etched onto his handsome face but soon disappeared when our eyes met. The rest of the morning was spent cuddling, kissing and caressing in his tiny, yet cozy, bed.

Making love to Jacob for the first time had been a beautiful experience; to feel his naked flesh against mine quaked a hunger in me that I hadn't known existed. To kiss him all over for as long as I wanted was like a dream to me. And to feel our bodies become one was so euphoric, so magical. So right.

That everything I'd ever experienced in my life couldn't live up to that moment we shared.

We hadn't done it again after that, it was close to impossible. Billy was always around and my parents were always at home. There was no rush though, we were perfectly happy to spend time together like we always had. But there was always that need that needed to be fulfilled, especially on a hard day. Unfortunately, we couldn't always get what we wanted.

The months passed by us like a blur and when May came around, we couldn't believe it.

Jacob put up a front around me, wearing an unreadable mask on his face so as to make me think he was fine. However, I knew that he wasn't. I knew that he was thinking of the month to come and what it would bring: drama. And there was nothing I could say to make him feel better, because I myself felt a million times worse. So I went along with his pretending to be OK. Even if it was wrong.

Like he'd set out to do, the garage was starting to look more and more like the shell of a house. He wasn't a builder, we all knew that, but Jacob was good with his hands. And even if his friends thought he was being ridiculous, I believed in him. I believed that he would build us a home, perfect or not.

School was getting worse and worse, with all the finals we had coming up. Everyone was excited, both in a good way and a bad way. For example, Nick Fox was all smiles and seemed to be constantly laughing with his friends. It was obvious he couldn't wait to finish up with High School, especially with all the excellent grades he got. On the other hand, Kara was literally shaking with fear. She was never really an attentive student and almost all her marks were in the D and C range. So she was all over the place; taking notes, studying in the library and even paying for a tutor. My heart went out to her.

But I couldn't find it in me to be excited about school coming to an end. All I could think about was the drama that would ensue between my parents and I after graduation. The shouting and the crying that would take place inside our normally quiet home. It was something I was dreading for months.

So on a Saturday afternoon, a week before our finals, I decided to bring up the subject with Jacob. We couldn't go on like that, pretending we were alright when we weren't. It wasn't doing us any favors and it wasn't good for our mental health either.

"Jake, we need to talk," I said softly, squeezing his hand in mine as we walked along the shore on First Beach.

He let out a long sigh. "Yeah, we do."

"You know what I'm talking about right?" I asked, making sure that he was okay with me bringing up the subject.

"Yes, I do but-" he paused, scanning the area with his dark eyes before leading me towards a log. "There's something I need to tell you."

Sitting down upon it, I stared up at him as he stood awkwardly in front of me. "What is it?"

The look in his eyes told me it was something he was ashamed of and a wave of nausea suddenly overcame me. It was nothing new, whenever he needed to give me bad news my stomach would turn. I guessed it was a side effect to being an imprint. Every feeling I had for him was exaggerated and it wasn't always a good thing.

But then I remembered that nothing could get worse than the 'discussion' my parents and I were going to have in the very near future. So whatever it was he needed to tell me couldn't be that bad. After all, what could go wrong with his life? There were no evil vampires around, he was financially stable with his job in Forks and was doing well enough in school. Perhaps he was overreacting about something?

Shoving his large hands into his jean pockets, he rocked back on his heels. "I can't work on the garage anymore," he told me, voice strained.

"Jake, it's okay. I understand that you can't do it," I started, giving him a small, reassuring smile. "We'll work something out, I'll get a job and if we put our money together, we'll find a place to rent. Don't worry about it."

Clenching his jaw, he bent down so that he could look me directly in the eye. "I can build you a house Nina, but unfortunately…"

Pressing my hand to his cheek, I searched his face for an answer. "Tell me, let it out. Unfortunately what?"

Leaning into my touch, he closed his eyes. "I lost my job."

"What?" my jaw dropped. "You.. how? Why?"

Opening his eyes again, he bowed his head. "I wasn't doing things properly, I was distracted… I'm so sorry."

The reason behind his distraction was known to me, so I kept my mouth shut and just sat there. Watching him as he stared down at the sand between us, his lips drawn down at the sides. I'd never thought losing a part-time job would upset me, but it did. All our plans and hopes were built around his job. We needed the money. And in the tiny town of Forks, it was hard to find work.

In fact, Jacob's bad news was worse than I expected. Even more so than the talk I'd have to have with my parents in the upcoming weeks. Things just weren't looking good for us. At all.

Moving to sit down on the sand, back against the log, I motioned for him to sit between my legs. Keeping his gaze on the ground, he flopped down like the weight of the world was on shoulders and rested the back of his head against my chest. Legs sprawled out before him.

Running my fingers through his now shaggy hair, I wondered out loud. "Do you ever think that things happen for a reason?"

"Yeah," he mumbled miserably. "But I hate to think that getting fired means anything, because if it does. It must mean I'm incapable of working."

"Shush, don't say that," I scolded lightly with affection. "Look at it differently, maybe you're never meant to build that house. Maybe there are other things in store for us. Better things."

He scoffed. "All we've got is each other, we can forget about the rest. Might as well go live with the hobo's now."

"Jacob, don't be like that. A lot has been going on lately, you can't expect to give working your all. It's impossible," I reasoned.

"Oh hell yes I can!" he spat out. "I can give anything my all if I put my mind to it, but I chose not to. Because I'm a complete idiot. I mean what did I expect? For my lack of concentration to go unnoticed? That if I got fired I'd have somewhere else to work? Hah! A fucking idiot I am, see who you're stuck with? I feel sorry for you and my dad. Putting up with my bullshit."

Bending forwards, I pressed my lips to the top of his head. "You know that's not true. Look at all the good you've done in your life. Helping your father around, fixing up peoples cars in your garage, putting Bella back together, being an incredible leader to a pack, building me a home. You've done it all and yet you sit here, telling me you're a bullshitting idiot."

He gave my knee a squeeze before tilting his head to look up at me. "But I haven't built you a home, Nee. And you of all people deserve that. I've done everything I could for the people I love, but the person I love the most, you, hasn't got anything from me. Nothing. I hate that."

"You gave me your love, Jake. You gave me your heart, body and soul. I couldn't ask for more. You're all I'll ever want. Yes, luxury is a pleasure. But you, you're a blessing. I don't need anything else. I love you."

Giving me a the tiniest of smiles, he bowed his head again, running his hand up and down my thigh. "I can't help how I feel, Nee. My wanting to give you everything, it's.. it's uncontrollable. It comes with the imprint and I know I blame a lot of things on that but it's true. If you're in need of something, I want to give it to you. I have to give it to you. And if I don't.. well I feel like a complete failure. It hurts me."

"But I need you to know that I don't need those things," I told him, combing through his hair once again. "All I need is you and your love and your support, and I have that. So don't beat yourself up about those things anymore, Jake. Please."

Jacob let out a gust of breath before pushing himself up off the ground. "I wish it was that easy, but it's not," he said, turning to face me, his eyes staring out into the woods. "I'm going for a run, I'll see you later." Our eyes met briefly. "You're coming over later right? To study? You know how bad I am at Chemistry."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you then… bye. Love you"

He forced a smile before taking off, the musky scent of him drifting up my nostrils as he went by.

I could've stopped him and made him stay. Maybe held him in my arms and kissed away the sorrow on his face. But everyone needed space, including Jacob and I. There had been a time when we were close to inseparable, however those days had long gone. We weren't living on a cloud anymore, overjoyed by the sudden feelings we had for each other. No, we moved on from that stage and focused more on the things that developed around us. And although we couldn't go a day without seeing one another, we certainly took some space. It was a necessity.

On my way home, I wondered just how hard it would be to make my parents see things the way I did. After all, they were human too. They'd fallen in love, maybe not with each other but with people in their past. So wouldn't they be able to see that I was willing to do anything for Jacob because I loved him? Didn't they understand the true meaning of love?

Wouldn't they understand how hard it would be for me to leave him behind? How it would break my heart?

Didn't they want their daughter to be happy? Maybe not.

But I was going to find out.

Dinner at the O'Neil table had always been the same over the past few months; mom would serve Joey and I our dinner, and sit down next to us as though it was the most normal thing in the world not to have dad join us.

He would either grab dinner at the Diner in Forks or help himself to leftovers once we were all done. In the beginning it had bothered me that mom never invited him to eat with us, but as the months went by, I grew used to it. Other things had become more important to me anyway.

However, that Saturday evening dad surprised us all by taking a seat at the head of the table and digging in to the fried steak mom had cooked. I couldn't tell whether or not she was angry, but none of us said a word and carried on eating as if nothing happened. Though, as I looked around me every once in a while, I realized what a great opportunity it was to bring up 'the subject'.

Setting my fork down, I cleared my throat. "So have you found a place in Seattle yet?" I asked, directing my question at mom.

"As a matter of fact-" she swallowed. "I have and I've been meaning to speak to you about it."

Dad remained still, focusing his attention on us. While Joey continued to eat unabashedly.

"Well go on then," I urged.

Pushing her plate away, she folded her hands on her lap. "It's an apartment, right in the centre of town and just a twenty minute walk away from the college you're going to attend. There are three bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room. It's quite small but it'll do for the time being."

"And when exactly do you intend on leaving?"

"Right after you graduate, I've already told you that," she said, glancing between me and Joey. "You're alright with that son, aren't you?"

Joy nodded, just like most kid's would. "Yeah."

"What about you, dad? When are you leaving for L.A?"

He shrugged, his expression unreadable. "July maybe? August?"

I'd never felt so detached from my family as I did at that moment. None of them seemed in the least bit sorry to be leaving La Push, it was as though they hadn't spent half a year there. Even Joey, although he was only a kid, I couldn't understand why he had no problem saying goodbye to his friends forever. It was so strange. So cold.

But then again, my situation was different to theirs. So much different. I had fallen in love with Jacob; the native boy who had no hopes of leaving for the city because he was also a mythical creature that had to lead a pack of wolves. And so he was bound to La Push which meant that I was also bound to it, because I was bound to him. Crazy it was, but also wonderful at the same time.

Outsiders would think otherwise.

"Why can't we just stay here and work things out? There's nothing wrong with La Push. I've made friends here and.. and I like it here." Looking each person in the eye, I said quietly. "Don't tell me you all won't miss it."

Dad snorted, fixing his gaze on me. "I wasn't born yesterday, young lady. You're worried about leaving that- that man-" he spat the word out in disgust. "-behind. So don't start about this place, you know it's him you want to stay for."

Before I had the chance to respond, mom spoke up. "Honey, you'll have to leave anyway. There are no colleges around here. Seattle is just the place, you'll meet new people and maybe even people you knew when we lived there. This'll all work out."

"Yeah, you'll see Michelle again," Joey added with a smile, his two front teeth missing. Innocence shining in his young eyes. "Your old best friend."

A hammering started in my head, causing my eyes to burn and my face to turn red. The mortification, anger and disgust I felt towards my father coming to the surface. Giving me a terrible headache. And the fact that my mother thought that this thing I had with Jacob was just… a thing. That I'd meet someone else. It was driving me insane.

"What if I don't want to go to college? Huh?" I asked venomously, glancing between my parents. "What if I-"

Dad cut me off. "That is the most foolish thing you have ever said, Nina!"

"No it's not!" I shot back. "It's not foolish if I don't want it, nobody should be forced."

"I never thought I'd see the day." He shook his head in disbelief. "My own daughter rejecting the idea of college for some peasant man that can't even make it out of High School. I'm disappointed in you."

"He's not a peasant! And he's not a man! Stop talking about him like that, stop it! Leave him alone!" I cried, burying my face in my hands. "I love him."

A long silence filled the room after that.

And all I could think about was Jacob. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. I remembered a night we'd spent watching the stars in a clearing and the conversation we had. He'd asked me that if my parents refused to let me stay, would I go against their wishes and move in with him, and I promised him that I'd never leave him. That I'd live in my car if I had to. Just to be with him.

But when you finally have to make that decision, it doesn't seem so easy any more. You feel so alone and completely helpless. Like you're a child again and nobody knows what's best for you but your parents. And that every idea you have in your head is ridiculous.

That's exactly how I started to feel under the eyes of my family.

"Love is like money, it doesn't buy you happiness," dad finally said. "I love you, Noah and your mother. But am I happy? No."

"Please stop," mom whispered pleadingly to my father.

"Wait a minute, I need to explain this to my daughter. Nina look at me." So I did. "Our family is falling apart. My own children are being taken away from me, not against my will of course, but I still hate it. I've always wanted a big happy family, however, you don't always get what you want. Do you? So what I'm trying to say is that you may love.. him, but in the end, he cannot make you happy. Ever. He's tied to this place and he's got nothing to offer you. Think of how your life would turn out if you remained here with him. It wouldn't be pleasant."

"No." I shook my head. "You don't understand. Jacob's different, he's my equal. He loves me and he'd do anything for me. Money doesn't buy happiness, dad. But love does, maybe you just never found your match?"

The anger I saw flash in my father's eyes caused me to flinch. He'd never really lost his temper around us before, and if he had, I certainly wasn't around to witness it. So to see him look at me that way, caught me off guard.

This is for Jacob, I told myself.

"Maybe I haven't," he said in a clipped tone. "But you have no right to speak to me in that manner. This conversation is over."

As he began to rise from his seat, I jumped up, pressing my palms to the table. "I'm not going to Seattle and I'm not going with you to L.A. I'm staying right here. You can't make me leave, I'm eighteen. Remember?"

Dad scowled, raising a hand as if to tell me to stop. "I'm not discussing this.. this nonsense any further."

"Suit yourself," I told him, fighting back my irritation. "But I'm staying."

"Nina, please stop. You're not thinking straight," mom interjected. "You can't stay here, it's impossible. And it's not in your best interest. You've got so much ahead of you honey, so much. You'll do so well in college, I know you will. You're a smart girl and you need to put that to use. Please listen to us for once."

The urge to scream and cry and run away was very strong in my system. So strong that I hung my head to control my breathing, hands curled to fists by my sides. There was no getting through to them, they couldn't see my point. In fact, no one would. Who would support someone who wanted to throw their education away so they could live with their beloved in a tiny house forever and ever? No one. Hell, even Kara would probably think I was insane and she wasn't even family.

Billy Black, the Elders and the pack would probably be the only people who'd understand.

Backing away from the table, I walked around it and began towards the door. But of course, someone had to have the last word.

"You stay here with that Black boy and you'll be damned," dad said behind my back. "Mark my words."

I stormed out of the room after that, rushing down the hall and out of the house as fast as I could. The tears already streaming down my face. Hands and legs shaking. My car seemed so far away from me that when I finally reached it, I breathed a sigh of relief before hopping in.

As per usual, the sky grew dark with the sign of an upcoming storm. Trees swaying with the strong wind. Matching my mood exactly; miserable and cold.

Jacob wanted me to go over to his and study, like I had been doing a lot in the past month. We would occupy the living room for three hours, laying on our stomachs with our heads buried in a book together. Billy would watch us closely, making sure we were focusing on our finals and not on our feelings. That had bothered me in the beginning, but I learned to accept it after a couple of days. He was just being a father.

Afterwards, Jacob would steal a few kisses from me and wrap me up in one of his bear-hugs. Whispering how much he loved me and how much he missed me, against my ear. Reluctantly, I'd leave and promise to call him when I got home. But I began to realize that phone calls and a few hours together weren't enough anymore. However, I never mentioned that to Jacob.

Instead, I lay in bed at night thinking about him and remembering every single detail of our time together. His smile was always what came to my mind first and then his husky voice and his musky smell and the way he laughed and how his lips felt against mine. The memories were never ending and most of the time, I ended up dreaming of him.

I sucked on my lower lip in an attempt to fight back the sobs that threatened to escape as I drove past Kara's house. The things my father said about Jacob echoing through my head, upsetting me more and more.

You stay here with that Black boy and you'll be damned, was the very last thing he'd said. But I wouldn't be, he just didn't know that yet. Nobody did except us.

We'd be happy together, very happy. Sometime in the future we'd have our own place to stay and maybe have children of our own. Nothing could go wrong there, not with the love Jacob and I had for each other. Even the thought of waking up next to him every morning seemed like bliss to me and that was only one of the things that would come with living together.

This is what I want, I told myself, and if anyone has any objections that's their problem. Not mine.

As I rounded the corner that lead me to the Quileute Tribal School, a gunshot sounded in the nearby distance. Causing me to slam down on the brakes by the sidewalk, the woods looking dark and eerie as I stared into them in shock.

Then, emerging from the tree-line was none other than Nick Fox. Looking more than a little sheepish, a shotgun in his hands.

"What did you do?," I asked hysterically as I jumped out of my car and began towards him.

"N-Nothing," he said quickly, eyes frantic. "I've got to get going."

"No!" I grabbed his arm to stop him. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me what you did."

Gulping, he avoided my eyes. "I didn't do a-anything."

But it was so obvious he did, that he had shot at something. It was there in his eyes; the fear and the guilt. However, Nick being the boy he was wouldn't dare tell me out straight. He wasn't like that, not at all. Nobody ever questioned his whereabouts and intentions. His popularity and pride wouldn't allow them to.

I wasn't like those people though, I'd find out what he'd done. Even if it took me the whole night to.

"Nick, I heard a gunshot and you're holding a shotgun. Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

Taking a deep breath, his eyes snapped to mine. "What are you doing out here at this hour? You should.. you should be at home. It's not safe out here."

"Stop trying to change the subject!," I hissed. "I'll report you if you don't speak up."

"But I didn't do anything, I just… I just shot, that's all."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I swallowed back my fear. "Shot at what exactly?"

Turning away from me, Nick stared deep into the woods. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration. The shotgun shaking in his hands, a tell-tale of how shaken up he was. Beads of sweat rolling down his temples as his long hair moved with the wind.

"I see him sometimes," he told me quietly, meeting my eyes again. "The bear. A few years ago they were all people could talk about. Hell, even Emily Young got mauled by one. But we never exactly caught them, and now everyone's forgotten about them. They don't realize that they're still out there, that they could attack at any minute. You could be walking to school and… and they could suddenly appear. Rip you to shreds. I haven't seen many, just one. He's always around and I need to get him before it's too late."

It took me a minute to let his information sink in and when it did, I was overcoming with so many emotions that my head started to spin. The first and most important thing on my mind was that Nick could've shot at Jacob. But the second thing on my mind that scared the living daylights out of me was the fact that Emily Young hadn't been mauled by a bear. There were no bears. She had obviously been attacked by one of the pack. Yet, Jacob never told me.

The whole situation seemed unbelievable, but before I could let my mind wander any further, I needed to know who Nick was after.

"What does he look like? The bear?" I asked carefully, voice strained.

He shrugged. "I saw him in daylight once, kind of a reddish brown color. Scary as hell."

Oh no, no, no.

My grip tightened on his arm. "And you shot at him just now?"

"Yeah, I think I missed though. Not sure. Hey, Nina! Wait! Stop! Where….."

But I was already gone. My feet carrying me deep into the woods at a pace quicker than I thought possible. Fear and worry rushing through my veins, pulsing through my body. Giving me more strength to carry on. To find him and make sure he was OK.

I didn't care if he was in wolf-form or not. I had to fight back my fear of his other form. All that mattered was that he was Jacob either way. And that I'd do anything I could to help him, even if that meant putting my life in danger.

The woods were dark and dreary, trees swaying heavily in the strong winds that blew in from the sea. Raindrops fell from the night sky onto my burning cheeks and every now and then I'd trip over my own two feet in my haste. But it didn't stop me from running deeper and deeper into the darkness. My wolf was all that mattered to me, nothing else.

However, as the minutes ticked by, I grew more and more worried about him and his health. There was absolutely no sign of him around, not even a paw print. And I silently cursed the weather for that. The rain washing away all traces of him.

It wasn't until I reached a clearing that I realized I was lost.

Nothing about it was familiar to me and I felt the panic rise up in my throat. I hated the thought of being alone there, without a companion or even a mobile to call for help. Shouting for the pack would only draw the attention of not-so-friendly things; like the cold-ones. So I spun around in circles, eyes darting around me in hopes to find a safe way out. Unfortunately every tree-line looked the same.

"Jacob," I whispered brokenly, hoping that he'd somehow hear me and wishing that he was OK.

Then suddenly, a cold hand clasped over my mouth and an equally cold arm wrapped around my mid-section. Dragging me back into the confines of the woods as I struggled against the abnormally strong hold. The sweet scent of the person making me dizzy.

I'd never felt so weak and light-headed in all my life.

I wanted.. needed to scream. To escape whoever had taken me away, but I stopped myself. Because in my head I could hear a voice, Jacob's voice, telling me to stay calm. Telling me that he was coming to save me, to protect me from the monster. A series of images ran throughout my head, from the first time we kissed to the last time we touched. I couldn't comprehend why I was hearing and seeing those things. It was the strangest thing.

"You must remain calm, I won't hurt you. But he will, if he's not careful," a silky voice whispered into my ear as we came to halt next to an old tree. "You hear me?"

I nodded reluctantly and in turn, he removed his hand from my mouth. Allowing me to speak, but I had nothing to say to him. The need to fall asleep overcoming me instantly.

Luck wasn't on my side though, because sweet-scented man decided to drag me into another clearing. Except this one wasn't empty.

There laying on his haunches was my wolf. Blood drizzling from a deep wound in his side, creating a red pool on the grass beneath him. Whimpers and whines escaping his throat as his body shook with the pain. He'd never looked so helpless. So broken.

A cry escaped my throat once I set eyes on him. "Jake!"

Jacob Black in all his russet-furred beauty flinched as the words left my mouth and I knew then that I should've listened to the sweet-scented man. Anger, rage and disgust flashed in my wolf's dark eyes and before I even had a chance to move out of the way, he lunged forward.

The last thing I remembered was a sharp pain and the hysterical scream I let out.

A/N: Any of you disappointed that there was no detailed description of Jacob and Nina's first time? Let me know. I'll write up a one-shot if you guys want.