[A.N.] Here's the next chapter. Sorry it's not as long as I said it would be I had finals this week. I don't know when the next one will be up because I'm going back "home" for Christmas break. That being said, if I don't post before the holidays are over I want to wish you a very happy and safe holiday season! Enjoy the next chapter!

What You Want Most Chapter Five:

Relena turned slowly in front of the three hundred and sixty degree mirror, staring at her reflection. This was the ninth dress she had tried on so far. Try as she might the last eight dresses just hadn't seemed like the right ones, at least, not to her friends. The bodice on this one was perfect, hugging her curves gently emphasizing the narrowness of her waste without exaggerating any part of her body. Her chest was pushed up and out but in a modest sort of way by the cut of the dress and her the fabric seemed to flow beautifully off her hips to the floor into a decent length train in the back. Overall, she liked it. The dress was made of a fine white silk with just the right amount of sequins, rhinestones, and lace. She smiled in spite of herself.

She was picking out her wedding dress. She had had to set this day aside over three months in advance so that it would fit into her busy schedule. Dorothy and Hilde had been all too happy to meet her at her chosen place. The wedding was weeks away and everything had to be just right. As the sales attendant brought her her veil and set it gently atop her head she sighed. She should be down-right giddy. Almost every bride considered the choosing of the dress to be one of the highlights of the process but it still did nothing to help her mood. Despite the joyous scenarios that she continued playing in her mind she just couldn't raise her spirits as high as they should be.

She sighed and smoothed out the skirt, taking one last long glance before heading for the door of the dressing room. She was determined to find a dress that would satisfy them all. She loved this one, she had, in fact, been rather fond of several of the last ones, but her friends were insistant that she just hadn't found the right one yet. She walked out to find Dorothy sipping on a glass of wine while Hilde was enjoying her gourmet late. The two paused what they were doing as she walked out. Hilde excused herself and hung up and Dorothy set her cup down, smiling.

"Well? How do I look?"

"You look gorgeous, Relena. I think this is the one!" Hilde smiled wide as she stood up and began fussing with the hems of the designer gown.

"Do you think so?" She took another long look, running her hands self-consciously over the dress.

"Well, yes. Don't you?"

"I guess so…" Dorothy half-snickered, half chortled at her comment.

"You don't sound so confident. Dorothy, help me out here! Doesn't she look amazing?"

"I suppose so."

"You suppose? Come on, she couldn't look more perfect. It's like the dress was made for her." Despite Hilde's serious expression the older girl merely took another sip of her wine.

"Perhaps, but how it looks matter little if she's not satisfied." She paused and stood up, grabbed Relena by the shoulders gently, turned her and made her look in the full-length three sixty. "The dress is lovely… too bad the face doesn't match."

"What?" Relena glanced at her blonde friend more than a little hurt.

"Dorothy!" Hilde began to stride over to her but Dorothy held up a defensive hand rather nonchalantly.

"Relena, dear, you look like you're recovering from sucking on a lemon."

"Oh, lay off, Dorothy! She's under a lot of pressure!"

"Hm, yes, I suppose it must be very stressful marrying someone you don't love." She swirled the wine around in the glass while staring at it intently. "This place really does have an excellent wine selection. You should consider them for the wedding."

"I do love Donovan!"

"Oh, I'm sure that in your perfect illusory world you've created that's the truth but those of us living in the real world see things as they truly are."

"Dorothy, why would you say a thing like that?"

"Because she needs to hear it. Someone has to call this what it really is and it might as well be me!"

"Dorothy-" Relena had almost had enough. With her own feelings being as muddled as they were she hardly needed such criticism from one of her bridesmaids.

"I have sat and watched this go on long enough. If you truly wish to go through with this foolish self-deception than I shall still support you. Just know that when the day comes and this marriage fails I shall be the one to say 'I told you so.'" With that, the older girl finished her wine and stood up. "I shall wait for you in the limo."

"Dorothy!" by the time Relena turned around the older girl was gone. Relena stood watching the door long after she had gone. Was Dorothy right? Was she wrong in marrying Donovan. He loved her. She made him happy. He was good company; smart and charming. So why, then, did it feel so wrong? She sighed and turned to look at her reflection again, staring deep into the aqua orbs that stared back at her. She was supposed to meet Donovan for dinner after she finished in town with the girls. She told herself she was looking forward to it. If only she could believe it.

Donovan watched the candle light from the table flicker across her heart-shaped face. She looked so lovely with her chestnut blonde hair pulled up into a French twist. A few tendril had been left out to curl down the sides, framing her face perfectly. He watched her as she absentmindedly stirred her raspberry iced tea. Something was wrong with her and had been for a while now. He reached over and gently touched the top of her hand with his. She looked up at him, slightly startled, then her eyes softened and she offered him a small smile.

"Relena? Darling? Is everything alright?" His question hung in the air only a few seconds but it felt much longer to him.

"Yes, Donovan. Why?"

"You just seem so distracted lately, like you're somewhere else entirely."

"I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind lately, that's all."

"About the summit coming up?"

"Well, yes, there's that."

"You're nervous, aren't you?"

"Nervous?"

"About our wedding." He watched as she bit her lower lip softly.

"Our wedding? What would give you that idea?"

"I don't know. Forget I asked."

"Donovan?" Her voice held an heir of uncertainty. She looked at him and for a moment he could see the veil over her eyes begin to slip.

"Yes?"

"Nevermind." There was something in her eyes he couldn't quite read. She did that a lot no matter how hard he tried there almost always was a wall she kept up keeping him out. It was so hard to tell what she was thinking behind those aqua eyes. He sighed. If this silence kept up it was going to be the world's longest short dinner.

After watching her push the food around on her plate for a solid hour, he held up his hand to signal the waiter for the check. She didn't seem to object. He rose and scooted her chair out for her, helped her put her coat on, then took the bill and left a generous tip on the table. He had taken her to her favorite restaurant. She had ordered her favorite meal, and drink and yet she hardly touched either. He was beginning to wonder if she was sick. He knew she was busy. He'd been told by her secretary and her closest associates that she rarely ate anything claiming that her schedule wouldn't allow it. But here, with him, at this place she not only had the time but the opportunity to catch up on the day's missed nourishment. He sighed and put his hat and coat on, and walked her to the door after paying the check.

The drive back to her home was uncomfortably quiet. He kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye. She sat staring out the window obviously lost in thought yet again. He sighed as he pulled the car into her drive. Like a true gentleman he opened her door for her, helped her out of the car and walked her to the door. As they paused at on the top step another awkward silence settled in. after what seemed like a small eternity he broke the silence.

"Relena… Darling… I don't know what's going on. Have I done something wrong?"

"No, not at all."

"Then what is it?"

"Donovan-"

"You don't have to answer that now. Just know this: I love you. Whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, alright?" He gently caresses her cheek with the back of his hand. She smiled at him and for the first time that night he felt the mood lighten. He leaned in slowly, cautiously, trying not to spook her all the while completely unsure how she would react. When his lips softly brushed her cheek, he pulled back and smiled softly. "Goodnight, Relena."

"Goodnight." She turned from him then and entered her home. He watched her go before he, too, left, walking down to the drive. As he drove away he just couldn't get his mind off of how preoccupied she had been. He sighed and gripped the wheel with both hands. He didn't know what her problem was but he was determined to do whatever it took to help her figure it out.

Heero watched him leave. He couldn't deny the empty feeling he got when he saw Donovan kiss her cheek. He had been with them through their whole date. Dinner had been quiet and shorter than their usual dinners. Donovan had been right about one thing: Relena was upset. He hated seeing her like that. When he was her primary guard, before she was enaged, he would have gotten her her favorite cup of hot tea, brought her a fresh-baked cookie, courtesy of pagen, and sat down with her until she would tell him. He would sit quietly and let her unload her thoughts onto him and answer her when necessary with what he logically thought would help. Occasionally, when things were really bad, but still not very often, she would cry on his shoulder and he would hold her until her sobs ceased.

Part of him longer to walk out of the shadows and chase whatever was troubling her away but the other part wouldn't let him. Her engagement to Donovan made her troubles no longer his to soothe. He turned and followed his charge as she made her way to her bedroom. It wasn't longer before her could hear her soft sobs breaching the deceivingly thin door. He felt that pain in his chest again, the emptiness. Steeling his resolve, he walked somberly down the hall to the security room to wait for the end of what he knew was going to be a very long shift.