33rd: Gluttony

Summary: Gluttony meant more than only eating (or drinking) far too much. It also meant selfishness and this was the reason they both of them sinned. [between Tower and Gambling]

There many reasons why she drank this much. Mostly, it was to numb the pain, pain which had been caused by many things, mainly by betrayal or abandonment. There was her mother's death. There was Gildarts who had failed to recognise her. And there was Laxus who had turned against his guild, who had turned against her. She also drank because as long as she was never sober, she wasn't smart enough to be suggested for another S-class exam. She had been chosen four times so far and it hurt too much to know that she would probably fail to pass another time. As long as she was too drunk to do anything useful, she hoped that Makarov had enough common sense to leave her out this time.

Sure, she had been quite active during the battle against Phantom Lord but she hoped that Makarov who had been out at the time hadn't heard of this yet. She didn't want to be humiliated like this again. She had sworn that she would be S-class before she would tell Gildarts that she was his daughter and even if this would take another twelve years, she would stay silent. She had her pride after all.

But she wasn't as proud as Evergreen or any other fool. She was Cana Alberona and her sin wasn't pride. Oh yes, she could be quite selfish as well. She tended to ignore the sorrows of her friends when she had a problem of her own and somehow, the thought that her mother might have wanted her to tell her father flat out that she was his daughter had never struck her – and even if it had, she wouldn't have thought much of this because her mother was dead, had been dead for twelve years by now.

Her selfishness would probably get her in trouble one day, Cana knew this, but somehow, she wasn't sure how much this bothered her – she only knew that it wasn't enough.

The only thing that annoyed her at the moment was the way everyone expected her to snap – to snap because Laxus had betrayed her just as much as he had betrayed the rest of the guild. But she wouldn't snap because this would mean to admit that she cared for him.

He chuckled weakly as he read her name in the Sorcerer Magazine. Trust Jason to be cool enough to pick out the few Fairy Tail members who weren't complete failures. This week, there was a complete double page about Fairy Tail's drunken queen of cards, Cana Alberona, and Fairy Tail's very own water mage, Juvia Loxar. It was strange how much he missed her. True, they had been friends even though it seemed centuries ago. His thumb smoothed the wrinkled page and he sighed deeply. Someone in the guild – probably Mirajane or Erza – had handed out one of the rare pictures that showed him along with the brunette, sleeping side by side on a bench in the guildhall. Her head rested on his shoulder as his coat was wrapped around both of them. The subtitle read out: Laxus Dreyar and Cana Alberona – simply nakama or did Laxana become reality?

"L-Laxana?" he stuttered, unable to understand this abomination created by violating both their first names. "Is Jason fucking kidding me? Or which moron came up with that one?"

"It's quite catchy, isn't it?" the owner of the inn he was currently staying at grinned as she cleaned the tables. "I think that it's flattering, Mr Dreyar."

"Cana probably threw a fit at this," he muttered as he continued to read. The picture was an old one, this was true, but why did he feel like the feeling it conveyed had survived? She seemed to be the guiding star he followed even in the eternal night he was currently facing. He had been afraid. He of all people had been afraid to say what he had been thinking all the time after he had awakened from his power-obsessed state. His grandmother had always told him that it would never be too late to correct a mistake but he wasn't sure about this anymore. He had passed up his chance to … well … confess.

He had to stop being afraid of her rejection, a rejection that would shatter him completely. There was no one else for him so why was he always hesitating? In the past, this had been stupid while now, it was a little bit smarter. He had destroyed their past and any feelings she might have held for him at one point or another.

He looked up as slow footsteps approached him and was confused. What the hell did the water mage he had ordered Fried to kill from him? She seemed to be unsure what to say but after a few moments, she collected herself and looked up and right into his eyes.

"Laxus-san," she began. "Juvia has no clue what kind of relationship you and Cana shared before your unfortunate attempt to take over the guild but … Juvia knows that this is hard on both of you and she hates to see her friend's suffering."

For a moment, he froze to admire the backbone she possessed and her courage. She was weak against lightening and she knew it – and she still had sought him out in spite of knowing that he had ordered her death only a few weeks ago to help him. 'Well, she is Cana's friend so she probably does this only for her,' he reasoned. Still, the loyalty and the courage were pretty impressive – and completely untypical for Phantom Lord mages so she was probably, perhaps pretty much a real Fairy Tail mage.

"Sit down," he sighed as he closed his magazine. "Let me guess, Cana has no clue where you are, huh? She wouldn't have allowed you to go and look for me."

"Cana believes Juvia to be stalking Gray-sama," the water mage replied as she sat down and rested both hands on the table. "And Gray-sama will confirm this should Cana ask."

"Nice plan," the lightening mage admitted as he rested his head on his palm. "I treat you with a drink, alright?" he added. "We need to talk about Cana. How is she doing?"

Juvia's face darkened. "Worse than Juvia expected her to," the blue-haired woman said. "It is very strange. Gajeel-kun said that she drinks more than usually … and that she ignores the fights in the guildhall. Usually, she would be right in the middle of this but now…"

"I remember this from when we were younger … she was always in the middle of each battle…" Laxus muttered as he stared into the depths of his drink. "Stupid girl … she should know that this wasn't her fault. God knows what she is thinking right now…"

"Evergreen-san voiced her worry that Cana might feel caged in Magnolia and said that she would try to make Cana leave the town for a job in Crocus," Juvia said with a hidden smirk. Up to now, her master plan was working quite well – she only had to hope that Evergreen would be able to get Cana to take on the job but somehow, she didn't doubt that the brunette woman could be quite convincing when it was needed.

"Crocus, huh?" the blond man asked as he raised an eyebrow. "I think that I might be able to visit the capital … there are quite a few interesting jobs out there…" he got up. "Thanks, Juvia," he grinned as he grabbed his coat.

She hid her smirk as she nodded. "No, Juvia thanks you," she replied.

It was Evergreen of all people who shook her out of her behaviour. "So, either Juvia-san's gloomy aura really got to you, girl, or you are drowning yourself in that sea of despair out of grief about Laxus," the brunette said grimly. "Tsk, and here I thought that the only thing about you that would never change is that you aren't afraid of anything or anyone."

"So, what do you suggest?" Cana asked as she crossed her arms.

"Hell – do I have to spell it out for you? Go and search for him! I hate to say this but … kick his self-righteous ass and tell him that Fairy Tail needs him, that the Thundergod Tribe needs him – damn, that you need him!" the older woman hissed before she rushed away before she turned around as she reached the stairs. "And do everyone in Magnolia a favour and take on a job!" she spat. "Juvia at her gloomiest times is a better company than you right now! There, I wanted to take that mission but you can have it. Just leave the town!"

Cana caught the paper the self-proclaimed Queen of Fairies threw at her and frowned. "You would give up such an amazing quest?" she asked.

"There you see how much I want you to leave this town," the brunette woman snapped as she patted her own shoulder. All the work she had used on becoming a good actress hadn't been in vain after all.

Laxus and Cana met on the main place of Crocus and while the latter was surprised to see the former, the former merely smirked as he bowed ironically. "It has been a while, Cana," he said politely as he smiled at her. "How have you been lately?"

"I need a drink," she muttered. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I am a free man and I can go wherever I please," he said amused. "And I heard from Fried that you have been drinking too much lately. You should consider stopping as long as you can still control this, Cana."

"Do you have to torture me like this?" she snapped. "I know that I should be mad at you for being such a complete jerk but I somehow fail to get mad at you!"

"It was only a matter of time until my charm would get you," he shrugged. "Anyway, let's go out for lunch now – yes, as a date. I am too selfish to let you go now."