Another day another chapter! X3
"Come on Rigby, I don't want to be late for the party." Mordecai said from the door way of his shared bedroom.
"What? It's only a few minutes to 7. I thought it didn't start till 8." Rigby asked looking up from his comic book. He saw his friend was dressed in a blue button up that was missing the top button and a black tie that hung loosely around the collar of the shirt. He had on a slightly cleaner pair of black skinny jeans then from an hour ago, and when he came into the room, Rigby could smell some kind of cologne on him. "Ugh, you kinda smell." He said waving his hand in front of his face to ward off the smell.
"Shut up. And get dressed already." He said throwing him a dark brown button up.
"Why?" He whined as the shirt landed o his head. "It's only...not 8."
"Because dude, those new chicks don't know how to get to Margret's." He said, as if that explained everything.
"Yeah, and?" He said taking his T-shirt off and slipping the button up on.
Mordecai sighed, as if he couldn't believe his friend could be this stupid. "AND! They'll need a ride there, and they have to be there by 7. So if we give them a ride, then we'll be there at 7. Meaning that we'll be there earlier than everyone else, meaning that I can make my smooth moves on Margret." He said with a grin before turning to their dresser and grabbing a bottle of Febreze. He walked back over to spray some on Rigby.
"Ugh, quit it!" He said as he held up his hands to protect his face.
"No way dude! You reek and there's no time for you to shower." He heard something out in the hallway and ran to the door. He saw Mani and Alex locking the door to their room and said, "Uh, hey, um...do you guys need a ride?"
They both looked up and Alex decided to say, "You want to give us a ride?"
"Yeah. To the party." He looked at them and frowned. "Is that what you're wearing?"
Mani rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with my outfit, ass-face." She said matter-of-factually. She was wearing a black zippered hoodie over a plain hot pink V-neck shirt and clean black skinny jeans. She had put on some eyeliner and her eyelids were now dark pink while her lips were shiny.
Alex, on the other hand, was wearing a plain white T-shirt and the jeans she was working in earlier. She hand a plastic bag with clothes stuffed in it and didn't have any makeup on. "I'm going to change when I get there." She explained as she started to walk past the taller man. Mani followed quickly behind her and Mordecai walk behind them, with Rigby rushing after his friend.
"Hey, you better not be looking at my ass." Mani said as they walked down the stairs.
"What ass?" Mordecai asked as he followed them. Rigby and Alex laughed and Mani blushed while pushing her friend down the last few steps. "Anyway," Mordecai said leading the way to the cart. "Let's get going, or we'll be late."
"Wait, you're gonna drive? In that?" Mani asked as they stopped in front of the golf cart while Alex rolled her eyes.
"Yeah. Is there a problem?" Mordecai asked as he took out the keys and climbed in.
"'H' to the nizz-o! I am not riding in some ghetto ass cart." She said crossing her arms and frowning at the cart.
"Why not?"
"Because!"
"Because why?!"
"Because! Besides, I don't want to go anywhere with you. If I show up and you're with me people will be all like 'Ugh look at that loser with the blue hair.' and then they'll be like, 'Oh crap, Mani's with that loser with the blue hair, she must be a loser too.' and I'll be all like, 'Alex are those people talking about me?' and she'll be all like, 'Hang on I have to clean my glasses.' and then I'll be waiting and you'll be like..." Mani stopped speaking for a moment, rubbing her chin and glancing around at the others standing around. "Wait, what was my point again?"
"You don't want to ride in the cart." Alex said climbing in the back seat.
"Yeah! F that ish" She stared at the others in the cart. "Midget you better move, I don't sit in the back." She said.
"Mani, just come on." Alex whined.
"Yeah, quit being difficult and get in." Mordecai said.
"What they all said." Rigby chimed in.
"Hey! Shut the fuck up! If I wanted to hear you speak, I'd throw a cat in wood chipper. Douche bags!" She shouted getting in the back with Alex.
"Hey guys! Glad you could make it!" Margret said as she opened the door. She gestured for the group of four to come inside. "Nice and simple as always Mani." She said when she saw the short girl's outfit.
"Yeah, well...yeah." She replied with a shrug, her expression stoic.
"Hey Margret." Alex said with a smile as she crossed the threshold. "Can I, uh, change in the bathroom?"
"Sure, I'll show you where. You guys make yourselves at home, 'kay?" She said before leading Alex towards the bathroom.
"Okay, sure Margret." Mordecai said before looking around.
"Ugh, lame!" Rigby said as he sat on the couch. "This party is lame!"
"No it's not." Mordecai said quickly. "The party didn't even start yet."
"Man whatever." He replied. "It's a bunch of chicks, it's gonna suck."
It was silent for a few minutes before Alex and Margret walked back out. They had both changed, Margret wearing a dark red baby doll shirt and denim short shorts, her hair in her usual spiky style. She had red-ish eye shadow on her lids with just a bit of eyeliner and her lips were bright red and glossy. Alex had slipped into a purple tank top and they could see two tattoos on her shoulder, on of a blue butterfly and the other of a rose spider. She had on a black mini skirt and a pair of black ankle boots. She had put some eyeliner and purple eye shadow on, as well as a little blush on her cheeks and her lips were a shiny purple.
"Nice." Mani said when she saw the both of them.
"Thanks." Margret said heading for the kitchen. Alex smiled and sat next to Mani as Rigby sneered.
"So, how long do we have until you steal our lives, you life stealing shrews!" Rigby sneered as he looked at them.
"I'm surprised you know what a shrew is." Alex commented with a raised brow.
"Dude, me too." Mordecai spoke up.
"Well, we learn something new about each other every day. Good for us." Mani said as she laughed at the short male.
"SHUT UP!" He yelled as he stood up.
"Hey now, what's going on in here?" Margret asked as she came back into the room with a few bottles in her arms.
"Oh, nothing Margret. We were just um, playing a game." Mordecai told her.
"Oh okay." She said before one of the bottles slipped from her arms. "Oh dammit." She put the rest of the bottles in an ice filled cooler then ran to get a broom, dust pan and some paper towels. Alex moved to help her and Margret told her that she had it handled and to sit back down.
As Margret was bent over, Mordecai turned to say something to her but got an eyeful instead. He continued to stare and his jaw dropped a bit.
He was still staring into space after she had straightened herself and walked back into the kitchen.
"So how long have you been crushing on Margret?" Alex asked nonchalantly.
"Like, forever." Mordecai answered back in a dreamy tone, before the laughing of Mani, Alex and Rigby brought him back to earth. "Wait, what? Shut up!" He cried with a blush.
"Pfft, what a loser!" Mani smirked crossing her arms. Mordecai grimaced from the small girl's words; he adjusted himself in his seat.
"You don't even know me…" He grumbled, crossing his arms now. Mani simply snickered as her eyes turned to look at the blue haired male once more.
"How old are you again Mordecai? Twenty-seven?" She asked quickly. He narrowed his gaze.
"I'm twenty-three, Mani..." He repeated.
"Aren't you a little old to be crushing on people, shouldn't you be worrying about getting back to the retirement home before lights out?" She started to giggle. Rigby squealed as he jumped out of his seat towards Mani.
"Hey shut up, we're not old!" He shouted. Mani didn't flinch though, she placed one of her legs over the other and turned to look at the shorter male.
"Wah wah wah, wah wah wah!" She grumbled in the rhythm of his statement, attempting to mock Rigby's voice. Alex giggled and got up as well, she stood beside Mani still snickering.
"You guys are sick; you get some type of lady boner whenever you insult us." Mordecai started angrily. "It's obvious that Mani was never hugged as a child." He growled as he pointed at her. She simply giggled.
"You really should be nicer to me Mordecai, or I might slip and mess up. Maybe say something that'll make Margret never ever want to date you… ever." She said quietly and slowly in her usual monotone. They two stared hard at each other for a few seconds, and then Mordecai finally scowled.
"Evil has a face." He muttered. Mani started to snicker as she brought her mouth to Alex's ear and started to whisper to her. Almost on cue Margret came back into room.
"Hey guys, what'd I miss?"
"Oh Mordecai was just telling me about how much he hates whatever your favorite band is Margret."
"He does?" The red head's face turned sad as she glanced over to him.
"Oh come on! You're not even trying anymore!" He shouted in outrage. The room fell silent and Mani rolled her eyes at the others.
"L-O-L, J-K…" She started listlessly and slouched in her seat. A sigh of relief cause of Margret's side of the room, did she seriously believe anything that came out of Mani's malicious mouth? Rigby was tapping his foot irritably as he looked over to Mordecai.
"So uh, the others should be on their way soon…Wanna help me put out some snacks?" Margret suggested.
"That's a great idea Margret!" Mordecai replied quickly. Mani and Alex appeared to be holding back laughter, followed by Alex quietly mocking Mordecai in the similar fashion to what Mani had done to Rigby earlier.
"Yeah well, me and Mordecai have to talk… In the bathroom… About stuff… Guy stuff…" Rigby continued. The ladies simply stared at him wide eyed. Mani raised a brow as she stifled a giggled.
"Yeah everybody-guy stuff." She sarcastically, gesturing with her fingers.
"STOP TALKING!" Rigby shouted then immediately looked to Mordecai, signaling him to follow the other male out of the room. Actually going nowhere near the bathroom, the blue haired male glanced around awkwardly.
"Why are you just letting these two skirts try and ruin our lives? We need to fight back!" He scowled. Rigby motioned to punch one of the walls, failing he scowled once more rubbing his fist.
"I don't want to waste my time with this! I Febreezed myself FOR THIS?!" Mordecai rolled his eyes as he leant over so that he and Rigby were at the same level.
"Okay first of all, I Febreezed you. Second- calm down dude, I'm so close to hooking up with Margret." He whispered angrily. Rigby still had an expression of extreme displeasure.
"No! No you're not! Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to me, stop feeding me your lies! I'm not some fuckin' lie machine that you only pay in lies in order to get some lie soda! I want to go home!"
"Rigby stop acting like a baby!"
"We need to do something about them! Kick their asses or something, I don't know!"
"You want to beat up girls? How would that even change anything?" Mordecai pulled the shorter male by his collar and stared intently at him. The two stayed silent for a moment.
"Well I don't see you coming up with any ideas!" He answered finally. Mordecai let go of Rigby, tossing him to the ground before heading back in the living room.
"I'm not holding back on them anymore Mordecai!" Rigby yelled as he watched him leave the room. Mordecai lifted one hand as he rolled his eyes.
"Don't do anything stupid, or I'll never forgive you." He said finally before getting back to the group. Rigby stood there by himself, his arms crossed. "Maybe… I don't know. We'll see."
"I refuse to have my life stolen." He grumbled.
Finally the others began to arrive and the party had officially begun, Mordecai was sticking to Margret like an old band aid on a hairy leg. Pretending to be interested in the other people at the party but really getting an eyeful of the coke-bottle shaped redhead, she was somehow oblivious to it. Rigby had been angrily sitting on the couch, once in a while a person would come and speak to him but he'd quickly dismiss them.
"Hey, you look lonely over here." A blonde haired girl said as she sat beside him. He crossed his arms angrily and stared ahead.
"You're kind of cute in a short Mexican looking way…" She slurred.
"I'm not Mexican! And I'm not short, I'm average height! AVERAGE!" He began to rant but the girl did not seem perturbed.
"Yeah I know but like, you're cute like in a raccoon kind of way." She added. His eyes widened as he slowly turned his head to look at her.
"Why do people keep saying I remind them of a raccoon! I only ate food out of the garbage once. It was just one time, nobody ever remembers anything cool I do. It's always that time I ate food out of the garbage. What about that one time I played that one game I almost won! Huh? HUH!" The girl stared blankly at Rigby and scooted closer to him and smirked.
"I think I wanna give you a hand job."
"You smell like herpes…" He grumbled.
Margret finally took a seat in the kitchen as the mass of humans finally stopped chatting with her- mostly because Mordecai would stand there awkwardly during their conversations. She exhaled as she took and ice cube from the freezer and rubbed it against her neck, Mordecai stared hard.
"Ah, all these people are making my apartment so hot." She sighed. Mordecai simply gulped.
"Uh huh…"
"Why aren't you hanging out with Rigby, or Mani and Alex?" She asked as she leant on the counter, almost posing.
"Oh, I don't get to hang with you enough Margret." He said quickly, shaking off his gaze. She shrugged as she got another ice cube and started to lick and suck on it gently.
"I really should hang out with you more often." Mordecai added, wide eyed. Suddenly almost as if she had teleported to where the two were standing- Mani had appeared, causing the two to jump up from the surprise. She groaned as she grabbed a soda and took a seat on the counter.
"Sup fags and fag-ettes." She grumbled as she took a sip from her drink. Mordecai narrowed his gaze at her. "Cock blocker…" He muttered inaudibly. She kicked her feet in Mordecai's direction.
"See what I did there? Like it sounds like the actual words but I also make it sound like I'm referring women and men… are you witty enough to appreciate my cleverness?" She added quickly. Margret started to giggle when she realized the joke. Mordecai rolled his eyes. Mani finally hopped off the counter, stepping pass the tall male.
"Yeah well I'm witty too. Check this out… You ever wonder- How come you can tune a piano but you can't TUNA FISH?" Mordecai said finally, he glanced between the two of them chuckling but they didn't seem to appreciate the joke. Margret gave a sympathetic laugh as Mani glared at him.
"Awesome story guy." She muttered as she walked away. Mordecai lowered his head, that joke was pretty lame actually. He sighed hard but looked up when he felt Margret's hand on his shoulder, his lips curled into a smile as he leant forward towards the redhead's face, he slowly began to close his eyes-
"Oh look there's my friend Stephen!" She said excitedly. This broke Mordecai out of his trance as he turned to see a tall blonde haired, tatted guy across the room wearing a band t- shirt and skinny jeans much like Mordecai's. He grimaced.
"Oh I hope he sees me, I'm kinda hoping me and him hook up by the end of the night." She added, the record skipped in Mordecai's mind as he quickly turned back to look at Margret, wide eyed. She was too busy trying to get the blonde guy's attention.
"Crap, Mani got to him before I could. Oh well I'll wait until later." She shrugged. Margret turned to look at Mordecai again and smiled. "You and Mani would be so cute together, you know because you're tall and she's short. You should talk to her, same with Rigby and Alex."
"Mani definitely hates my guts." He sighed, obviously uncomfortable by the conversation.
"Really? No she doesn't, she tries to come off as distant and nonchalant at first but once you get close to her she's a really good friend." Margret leaned closer to his ear for a moment. "She thinks you're gay, isn't she silly?" She giggled. "She told me about how she came into you and Rigby's room this morning to wake up and you guys were like- spooning but I know sometimes he gets scared at night. I set her straight." Mordecai stared wide eyed as Margret spoke, the rage building up inside of him. He masked it with a smile.
"I'll be right back." He sighed as he moved through the crowd towards Stephen and Mani. He smiled as he stood beside the short girl.
"Hey Mani, sorry to interrupt whatever this is." He started, pointing between Mani and Stephen. She raised a brow as he spoke. "So I was wondering Mani, can I give you those used tampons you had me hold for you. I kinda need the room in my pockets right now." Her eyes widened as she glanced over at Stephen who simply chuckled and walked away from her.
"You ass, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to actually go up to people and talk to them?" She asked in an angrily whisper. Mordecai started to chuckle as he looked downward at her. "That was for telling Margret I was gay." He replied. She squinted her eyes at him and swiftly stepped on the toe of his sneaker; he scowled in pain then attempted to mask his pain. As he exhaled he swiftly punched her left breast. Mani squealed for a moment then groaned.
"My tit…" She said in a hoarse voice. The two tried to breathe the pain away. "I will fucking destroy you." Mordecai whispered, he looked up noticing that Margret was watching their conversation.
"Smile." He said quickly.
"What?"
"Fucking smile before I punch you in the vagina…" He repeated- a grin spread across his face. She raised a brow then she started to smirk as well. "If we smile, she'll think our conversation is going well no matter what we're really saying to each other." He added.
"Screw you, and screw every comic book you've ever liked ever." Mani chimed.
"Haha, when we get back to the house- when you least expect it I'm going to burn every Avengers shirt you own." He chuckled in return.
"Ha, I fucking hate you." She sung quietly through her grin as she and Mordecai turned to wave at Margret.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow. Why are you doing this again? Ow, ow, ow." Rigby groans could be heard from outside the bathroom.
"Wow! You're a whole lot bigger than I expected!" The girl shouted.
"Oh, that's unsettling."
Alex wandered by the bathroom. She leant on the door and listened, hearing Rigby's voice. She chuckled, picking up an empty red solo cup sitting on end table. She jogged to the kitchen and searched the cabinets finally emerging with cinnamon. She poured it all into the cup, then went back towards the bathroom. Rigby and an obviously intoxicated girl emerged; the brunette was limping as he groaned.
"Are guys supposed to like that!?" He whined as he held himself, he looked up quickly as he noticed Alex. "What do you want!? I'm on to you! You sent her didn't you?" He shouted.
"Who- Huh, what? No, I feel bad about calling you stupid. So I figured I'd give you an apology coke." She said perkily extending the cup in his direction. He grasped it and glared at her raising a brow. He brought the cup to his lips for a moment then paused.
"Wait… this isn't poison is it?" He asked in suspicion. Alex quickly shook her head. He glared at her a little while longer then brought the cup to his mouth again but then paused once more.
"…This is pee isn't it?" Alex shook her head again and Rigby finally shrugged as he started to swallow what was in the cup. His stomach dropped and he began to wheeze as he started flail around.
"You bit-" He coughed hard looking at Alex who was now laughing. He hopped up and down as he tried pushing through the crowd to the kitchen. "WATER" he tried to shout but he could hardly speak. He choked as he started to climb on Margret's furniture in a panic, knocking several things over and breaking a lamp. The whole party had stopped to watch him.
"Oh my gosh! Rigby why!?" She shouted as he shoved through a few people. Stephen smirked, he'd been standing beside her. He crossed his arms as he watch Rigby jump on the coffee table to the living room couch into some girl's lap.
"Dude, he moves like a spider monkey." He chuckled; the music that had been playing had stopped. Mordecai looked on in embarrassment, Mani snuck away to Alex's side as she watched as well. He finally reached the kitchen, jumping on the counter. He threw many of Margret's plates and glass cups around then decided to turn on the faucet and drink straight from it. He attached his mouth to it as his cheeks widened, filling up with cold water. The crowd parted so Margret could get into the kitchen.
"Rigby, what's wrong with you?" She asked loudly. The male detached his mouth and turned to Margret, he felt another coughing fit coming. He spat all of the water in his mouth out. Unfortunately it all landed on Margret. The crowd gasped and Mani and Alex subtly high fived.
"Gross…" The redhead gagged.
"Very nice work, your pranks are almost like exquisite art." She whispered leaning towards Alex then went back to watching. Mordecai quickly ran over to Margret and Rigby.
"Oh crap Margret, I'm so sorry about this." He started to say but Margret was heaving and before he knew it she threw up on his feet.
"Well that's fantastic." He whispered as his face went pale. Mani and Alex were still in the corner giggling.
"These are the moments that make life worth living." Alex whispered in a giggle fit. Mani nodded in agreement. "You know what should do-" Mani started to mutter.
"Okay!" Stephen finally got up on the coffee table, drawing he crowd's attention and cutting Mani's suggestion short.
"Alright guys, it's time for everybody to leave sorry!" He yelled, jumping down, he shoved passed Mordecai and straight to Margret taking her away from the scene as her apartment started to empty.
"I'm sorry Mordecai, I was just so grossed out." She gagged again as she was pulled away. Mordecai looked on empathetically then his gazed was focused on Mani and Alex. He glared at them and crossed his arms; Rigby finally limped over to him.
"What the hell Rigby!?"
"It wasn't me! Alex gave me a cup full of cinnamon." He coughed. Mordecai grumbled as he looked over to the two girls again. The blue haired male started to shake his head as he stared at them.
"This means war." He whispered. Immediately after Mordecai's words, Rigby leant over and vomited on the taller male's feet as well. Mordecai instantly exhaled hard, hearing laughter from the left over guests in the apartment.
Co-Authored with Mani De Malice!