**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own any of this. Also, the last line in the scene between Harry and Hermione is a lyric from Coldplay's "Sparks". The scene was partially inspired by the song, so if you like to listen while you read, enjoy.
Harry was in the process of deciding if he ought to change the color of the walls in his bedroom at Grimmauld Place when there was a loud POP notifying him that he had a visitor. He slowly stretched and decided company was much needed in his current state of boredom.
He half leaped down the stairs and was bounding around the corner when he nearly ran smack into his best friend, Ron Weasley.
"Oi, geez mate, watch where you're going!" Ron exclaimed, startled by the near collision.
"Sorry Ron, I wasn't expecting you to be standing there. I'm surprised to see you to be honest."
Ron dropped his eyes, suddenly becoming interested in the little circle patterns he was tracing on the floor with the dirty rubber soles of his sneakers. Harry knew Ron well enough to realize that the tall red head felt guilty for not visiting Harry, but would never confess to such things.
"It's fine Ron, I didn't even tell you where I was" Harry assured him. "I wanted to give you and your family some space, and I needed some time as well. But I'm beginning to believe I've had quite enough time. The silence is driving me bonkers!"
He had been hoping to get Ron to laugh, but something in his brown eyes told Harry he wasn't just feeling guilty about them having spent so much time apart.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Well, it's Hermione. She's locked herself up at the Burrow and she won't let anyone speak to her. Not even Ginny or Mum! At first I thought she was just mad at me..."
"What did you say this time?" Harry asked, a sense of annoyance rising up in him. When would Ron learn to stop putting his foot in his mouth?
"Well, it's not so much that... you see..." Ron rambled for a moment until Harry was just about shake him into getting to the point. "I told her I wouldn't be coming back to Hogwarts. Blimey Harry, I didn't expect her to get so upset about it. I know school is important to her but it's not like I don't have a plan, and we're wizards for heaven's sake, it's not as though I won't be able to visit you both all the time!"
Harry was set back by Ron's confession that he wasn't planning to finish out their seventh year at Hogwarts. He couldn't imagine not having his best friend there to play chess with in the Gryffindor common room, or to check out girls with. He could understand why Hogwarts wasn't a place Ron wanted to be, but it pained Harry to imagine a year without him there. It didn't seem right.
"Are you sure about this Ron? What about quidditch, and don't you want to try and see if maybe we can have something of a normal year at Hogwarts?" Harry joked lamely.
"There's no such thing as a normal year when you're friends with Harry Potter" Ron responded with what was meant to be a joke but came from his mouth with a tone of hostility which surprised them both.
Harry wasn't sure what to say to respond to his friend's harsh words. He knew they were true. If Ron and Hermione had never been friends with the Boy Who Lived, they may have experienced some dark days, but nothing of the magnitude he had brought upon them.
"Well, what of Hermione then?" Harry asked, needing to change the subject before it swallowed him whole.
Ron looked peculiar, like he was off balance, caught between apologizing to Harry and crying. But he did neither, took a deep breath and straightened out his spine. "Well, she's gone nutters I suspect. She's been locked in that room since around breakfast and it's getting quite late now, and I'm not sure what to do. You'd think she'd let me in since I'm her boyfriend and all..."
This news took Harry aback once more. Hermione hadn't mentioned it to him the night before. While he supposed it shouldn't surprise him, it still did somehow. He knew that Ron fancied Hermione and that her feelings ran quite deep for him in return. Yet somehow, he never saw them actually getting to the relationship stage.
He pushed that thought aside and looked at Ron who was nervously playing with his shirt sleeve. "So you want me to talk to Hermione?"
"You've always been better with this stuff mate, she listens to you better or something. I don't know, maybe she'll open the door for you."
Harry thought about the idea of getting in the middle of a Ron and Hermione battle and he didn't much like the thought of it. But then he realized there was probably a lot more to it than just a lovers' squabble. He remembered waking her up weeks ago, and the way she had screamed out in her sleep. He needed to make sure she was okay.
Ron and Harry apparated to the Burrow together, and when they arrived Ginny was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the door to Hermione's room. She had been trying to coax her friend into opening up and talking, but she hadn't heard as much as a peep from Hermione in nearly a half hour.
"Well Ronald, you've really done it this time" Ginny cursed as she saw him and Harry coming up the stairs.
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Ron shouted back, outraged that his little sister would pin all the blame on him.
"It's hardly worth fighting about" Harry advised, sliding to the floor beside Ginny. He felt a small rush being so close to Ginny, but she quickly stood, nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Best of luck Harry" she nodded, not making eye contact. She nearly ran away to her room.
Harry felt confused by the exchange but knew it wasn't the right time to puzzle over the whole thing. He knocked gently on the door, but there was no response.
"Knocking huh? Good idea mate, we hadn't tried that one out yet."
Harry shot Ron a glare and tried again. Still no response. "Hermione" he called gently through the door. "It's me, Harry."
"I just want some time alone. What's all the fuss?" exclaimed voice that sounded very stuffed up and not well.
Harry felt a twinge of panic, he didn't want her to be sitting alone with her miseries. He wanted her to know she could talk to him, to trust him the way he had trusted her all these years. How could they go through so much and end up divided by a flimsy door?
"I want to talk" he demanded, his voice suddenly resolute.
On the very other side of the door Hermione sat, her head resting on her knees, wishing they would all just leave her alone. She was worn down, tired and confused. She was coming unraveled and she did not like the feeling of it at all. It was as though she could hardly breathe.
She heard the sternness in Harry's voice and it jolted her, but still she said nothing.
"Hermione, if you don't open this door I'll blast it to pieces" he warned. "Mrs. Weasley won't be too happy."
"I put enchantments on it" she argued back, feeling suddenly angry with the raven haired boy for being so stubborn and thick headed.
He snickered, further fueling her feeling of irritation. "You really think that would stop me? I mean, I may not be Albus Dumbledore but I do believe the supposed savior of the wizarding world should at least be powerful enough to break down a measly door."
"Fine, come in" she sighed, feeling tired and resigned.
Ron raised his eyebrows at Harry to show he was impressed and Harry slowly entered the room. It was entirely dark and it took his eyes a moment to adjust. He raised his wand and began to whisper "lumos" but Hermione yelled out, stopping him mid incantation.
"Please don't turn the light on" she asked, her voice sounding small and weary. The desperation in her tone pulled at his heartstrings, and he pocketed his wand, blindly seeking her out in the dark.
"I don't want you to see me like this" she explained. "I really don't know what's wrong with me, I'm sure it will all be better in the morning."
His eyes were finally adjusting and he could make out her silhouette, sitting hunched on the side of her bed. He carefully made his way to her, and she nearly jumped as she felt his arms wrap around her from the dark, pulling her against his chest.
As he held her, he could feel her body stiffen and then slowly relax into the embrace, trembling slightly. He held her tighter still and felt wet tears dampen the fabric of his shirt. She breathed in his scent and felt comforted, listening to the steady beat of his heart, reminding her that it had all been worth it, that he had lived.
His chest felt strong against her cheek, and his arms were tense with wiry muscle that made her feel secure. It was as though he were holding pieces of her together, keeping her from crumbling. Hadn't he always been her rock? He had been a beacon guiding her, giving her purpose when she was a scared muggle born in a strange new world. He had given her intelligence an outlet through their many adventures, allowing her to protect him with her careful logic and intellect. And when she had been alone or unsafe, he had always been there to protect her in return.
In his arms felt like the safest place in the world. It felt like the home she had lost.
"I'm sorry" she finally whispered, pulling herself away from his embrace slowly and wiping the tears that had streamed down her cheeks.
"For what?" he asked, surprised by her apology.
"For this mess I am right now. It's not like me you know, I'm usually..." she trailed off, lost for the words to describe herself.
"You're usually Hermione Granger" he finished simply. "Strong, brilliant and logical. But everyone has their moments of pain; Merlin knows I have had plenty. And if it hadn't been for you I may have never gotten better. So don't apologize. This is what best friends are supposed to do for each other."
"I miss my parents" she confessed. "Being here, at the Burrow, it doesn't help. I like being near Ron, and the Weasleys have been more than generous towards me, but this isn't my home."
"I know how you feel" Harry admitted. "Hogwarts was the first place that ever felt like home to me. The Dursley's was never a home. I mean, bloody hell, my bedroom was a broom closet!" He chuckled slightly at the absurdity of life.
He couldn't see Hermione's horrified expression in the dark. She knew that Harry was not fond of his relatives, and that they did not have a good relationship, but she had not realized that they were abusive towards him. She didn't know what to say, so she just reached out and grabbed his hand tightly.
"I'm afraid that Hogwarts won't feel like home anymore when we go back" he admitted.
"I think... home needs to be what we make of it" Hermione responded, realizing the surprising truth in her own words. "Seven years ago, the three of us didn't even know each other, and now we share the closest of bonds, closer than family even."
"You're right" Harry agreed. "And that will have to be enough."
"That will have to be enough" Hermione repeated sleepily.
"You have to let yourself feel things though Hermione. Madam Pomfrey said that scars of the mind take much longer to feel than those of the body. But if you just ignore the pain, it can never heal. Take my word for it."
"I know you're right" she yawned, slowly laying down on the bed. The thin curtains of the bedroom window billowed with the gust of outside wind, leading them to dance like white ghosts in the otherwise dark room. Her eyes felt sore from crying, and her body felt entirely exhausted. She gazed up through the window as she rested her head on the soft pillow. She wondered at the future and what it might hold, but she tried not to worry this time. The future would come whether she was ready or not, and that would have to be alright. They were alive for now, and that would have to be enough.
She shivered from the cold breeze and Harry stood to close the window. When he returned he could tell by her breathing that she had fallen fast asleep. "Lumos" he whispered, generating a faint light from his wand. He leaned over her as she slept, her breath rising and falling softly. He studied her face, her beautiful features, her dark brown hair that fell in loose curls down her back. She looked frail in the pale light of his wand. She looked peaceful and innocent.
Suddenly he felt a great wave of protectiveness wash over him. She had been the truest friend he had known in all his life. Her compassion and genuine goodness comforted him. Her power and intelligence amazed him. And if he lost her, his life wouldn't be worth carrying on with.
He kissed her lightly on the cheek, just near the corner of her smooth lips. Just before he left he whispered into her ear, "I promise you this, I'll always look out for you."
_
WHEN Hermione awoke in the morning her head felt clear. She felt more of herself and she took her time choosing something nice to wear before going down to breakfast at the Burrow.
Ron was hastily shoveling spoonfuls of scrambled eggs into his mouth when Hermione came down the stairs to join them. His mouth was left gaping open as she arrived in the room, revealing a disgusting view of half chewed breakfast.
"Close your mouth Ron" Ginny scolded, looking up from the copy of the Daily Prophet she had set out before her.
Ron swallowed hard. "Blimey Hermione, you look... well you look great!"
"Thank-you Ron" Hermione blushed, sitting down to a simple grapefruit for breakfast. "I want to apologize... to you both for my behavior last night."
"No need to apologize!" Ginny exclaimed. "The war seems to have us all out of sorts still. I know I haven't been the best friend to you. And I certainly haven't been there for Harry."
The mention of Harry's name alerted Hermione to the fact that the dark haired boy was no where to be seen. "Did he go back to Grimmauld Place?"
"Yes" Ginny frowned. "I think he's hiding from me."
"Don't be daft Ginny, Harry's been crazy about you since the Yule Ball at the very least. If you still feel the same way about him, go visit him and snog him senseless and it will all be fine."
"Hey!" Ron exclaimed, little flecks of breakfast flying from his mouth. "They'll be no talk of my sister snogging anyone!"
Hermione laughed and Ginny stuck her tongue out at Ron. "I can do what I want Ronald. I'm a big girl now."
Hermione noticed a strange dip in Ginny's voice as she spoke, almost as she wasn't actually sure that she could make her own decisions. "Well Ginny, whatever you decide, you should probably talk to Harry soon. You can't leave him waiting around all summer."
Hermione was surprised that her tone was a bit irate, but then she realized she was a somewhat annoyed with the youngest Weasley. Of course the girl was confused and distraught, but Harry deserved so much more than cold ambivalence.
Ron broke the tension by suggesting that he and Hermione go to the Three Broomsticks for lunch. "You know, I proper date like I suggested yesterday?"
And so around noon they took the floo network to Hogsmeade. It was an entirely different site than it had been just before the final battle. People were out wandering the streets once more, happily checking out the shops as children chased one another around. The weather was clear and warm and it lifted Hermione's heart to see that the wizarding world was coming back out of the shadows and returning to the magical and magnificent state she had fallen in love with.
As Ron and Hermione walked hand in hand down the cobblestone street, witches and wizards of all ages openly stared. Now I know what it's like to be Harry Hermione realized, deeply uncomfortable with the gawking. Some even stopped mid-step to point the couple out gasping, "look! it's Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger!" Several times, random groups of strangers broke into applause, crying out their thanks to the conquering heroes.
Hermione was infinitely relieved when they finally arrived in the smoky privacy of the Three Broomsticks. They were quickly ushered to a back corner where they could hide from the staring eyes of strangers. She slumped into her seat with a long sigh.
"How long do you think we'll have to deal with this?" she groaned.
"What'dyah mean?" Ron asked, his face flush with excitement. "We changed the course of the entire wizarding world Hermione. We deserve some well earned respect!"
She could tell he was quite enamored by the sudden tide of attention and fame, and it concerned her that it would go to his head much like the time he had become Gryffindor's champion keeper. But she didn't want to rain on his parade and so she just gave him a small smile and buried her face in the menu.
Once they had ordered they were brought a few rounds of butter beer, courtesy of the owner. Hermione found that the delicious drink loosened her tongue and it was time to talk about the argument they had gotten into the night before. "I want you to know Ron, that I understand your reasons for not going back to Hogwarts. Admittedly, I am disappointed, but if what will make you happy you have every right to make that choice."
He took her hand from across the table. "Listen, I won't be far off. I talked to George, he's been slowly coming back to himself. And he thinks we ought to expand into right here in Hogsmeade. That was one of the reasons I wanted to bring you here today. George is going to buy up the old Zonko's joke shop and we'll turn it into a Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I'll be running the whole thing!"
He smiled proudly, leaning across the table and surprising her with a kiss. "You see? I'll be right near Hogwarts. You'll hardly notice I'm missing."
"Well that's brilliant Ron" she smiled, feeling warm and comfortable, and with each passing moment she seemed to gain hope that things would be alright again.
_
HARRY puzzled over the letter that had arrived by owl at Grimmauld Place. Grimmauld Place was supposed to be well hidden, and it concerned him that some stranger had found his location.
The mail read like a piece of fan mail, but Harry's mail was supposed to get forwarded to a vault at Gringotts. According to the goblins he was amassing a dangerous stack of letters and gifts from admirers and well-wishers, however, he had no intention of reading any of them. He was especially wary of gifts after the Romilda Vane incident.
The letter was strange to be certain. Written in elegant, cursive lettering, none of the spells he had attempted had revealed who the writer was. Whoever it was had taken careful measures to conceal his or her identity.
"Dear Mr. Potter" it read. "I am writing to you to convey my most sincere gratitude for your work in slaying the hideous creature that was Voldemort, or as you and I may call him, Tom Riddle. I have been watching you progress as a wizard for quite some time. To be honest, I have followed nearly every trial and tribulation of your youth since you were one and Riddle murdered your parents.
I have grown increasingly impressed with your power. Without a doubt you are destined to become one of the strongest wizards our world has ever known. But only time may determine that for certain. One thing I can say with utter positivity is that your destiny did not end with the passing of the wretched, so-called Dark Lord.
I was patient in waiting for you to dispose of Riddle, and I am deeply pleased that you came through for me in the end. It is not quite time for us to meet yet, but I can assure you that when we do the wizarding world will enter upon an era unlike anything it has ever known.
Until then, please forgive my anonymity. I am sending only the best of wishes to you, Mr. Potter."
Harry had read the letter numerous times and wasn't sure what to make of it. How closely had Mr. Anonymous been watching him all these years, and why? What did he mean by patiently waiting for Harry to destroy Voldemort?
There was a suspicious air to it all, not the least of which was the mystery of how Mr. Anonymous had directed an owl to Grimmauld Place. Harry felt unsettled by the letter, but did not want to let it get into his head too much. War had made him paranoid, he was sure of that. Still, he carefully locked the letter in his trunk, determining that he ought to talk to someone about it eventually.
Just then he heard a loud POP from downstairs. His nerves on edge, he prepared his wand and cautiously walked towards the sound. As he peered over the balcony he quickly recognized Ginny's eyes gazing up at him. He slid his wand back into his pocket.
"Hello Ginny" he greeted, feeling a fluttery sensation in his stomach.
"Hi Harry" she responded as he came down the stairs towards her. She had her arms crossed over her chest in an almost defensive stance.
"What brings you here?" he asked, hoping, praying she would say that she missed him.
"I think I'm finally ready to talk."
"Well, please, let's take seat" he offered awkwardly, gesturing to the sitting room. He sat on the couch and she positioned herself in an armchair at a considerable distance away.
He thought to offer her some tea, but then remembered that he didn't have any. He felt a swelling of discomfort in his stomach. He hadn't felt this sort of awkwardness since Cho Chang's teary kiss.
"Harry, you know, I've been in love with you since I was a child" she began. "Or at least I thought it was love... you have always been everything I wanted in a man. Humble, kind hearted, brave, athletic, smart... how could a girl not be in love? I think, part of me, will always be in love with you Harry. But there's another part that knows it will never work."
Harry swallowed hard, wanting to yell at her, or walk away, or do something to display his emotions, but he found himself just sitting there, staring into her light brown eyes.
"Do you remember, after Dumbledore died, and you told me we couldn't be together?" she laughed a dry, humorless laugh. "And I knew, that as long as Voldemort lived, you wouldn't be happy unless you were chasing him. And I admired that about you, and all the time while you were gone was like hell for me worrying about you and Ron and Hermione. But I kept thinking, that eventually you would defeat him, and then we could be together. But now I know, that will never be the case. You're Harry Potter... there will always be evil and you will always chase it. And I will always love you for that, but I can't be around it anymore. My war is done, and I need to move on."
Harry wanted to argue, say that he was done being everyone's pet hero, that he was done chasing evil. He wanted to tell her she was being unreasonable, that he had never wanted to be the so-called Chosen One, that it was unfair that he could have no peace or normalcy in his life. But he knew it was all a waste of breath, because he knew she was right. He had brought the people he loved most into the jaws of death, and he couldn't expect them to be willing to risk that again. And he knew the dark times were not ended. He was only 18 and already he'd seen many faces of evil. He would probably see many more, and he would have to be the one to deal with it. Alone.
Ginny seemed to take in a long breath of relief, feeling lighter for having expressed the heavy thoughts on her mind. While tears had silently streamed down her ivory cheeks, there was a look of peace in her eyes. Harry, for his part still said nothing. He was silent at her tears. Silent as she slowly wiped them away, and tore her gaze away from his. Silent as she gently kissed him on the forehead. Silent as she left.
And then, in the darkness of Grimmauld Place, Harry Potter cried.