As the summer wore on, Hermione found herself spending increasing time at Grimmauld Place with Harry. Ron would frequently join them, but most of his energy was focused on getting Weasley's Wizard Wheezes up and running. In Harry's boredom he allowed Hermione to talk him into studying with her, and they both found that during their horocrux hiatus some of their skills had become a bit rusty. More so Harry's than Hermione's of course.
But when studying and lessons became all too dull, they took to restoring Grimmauld Place, making it less dusty and gloomy and more habitable and like a home. They even went grocery shopping on a regular basis.
By the time school came around the two could not be more glad to escape the boredom of their summer. They had both taken painstaking measures to avoid the public, even going so far as to shop at muggle stores when they needed things. Neither Harry nor Hermione could stomach the adoring public.
On the morning it was time to leave for the Hogwarts Express, Hermione carefully packed her trunk. As she carefully folded her uniform and robes, and delicately stacked her books inside she felt a great swell of nostalgia. She remembered her first time doing this, a bushy haired eleven-year-old who kept checking, double checking and re-checking her things to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything of importance. She hadn't been able to catch a wink of sleep the night before, half out of excitement and half out of fear.
She wondered what this year would hold. Over the summer she and Harry had been visited by Professor McGonagall who wanted to speak to them in person about the opportunity of serving as head girl and head boy. At first Harry had been resistant, not wanting more responsibility thrust upon him. But Hermione reminded him that it had been he who had voiced the desire to help restore Hogwarts, and how better to do that and as head boy?
And so she and Harry would don the badges of head boy and girl for their final year at Hogwarts. She left for Platform 9 ¾ with Ginny, who would be in their graduating class now. It felt almost a bit sad that those they had started with; Neville, Seamus, Dean... had all graduated and were gone now.
They arrived at the station and went through the unpleasant experience of plummeting headfirst into the barrier at Platform 9 ¾. Once there, the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement as children ages eleven to eighteen waited for the train. Hermione could not help but smile.
She spotted Harry who was sitting on his trunk talking to Luna as a group of gawking first year students just barely kept their distance, mouths gaping with excitement at being so close to THE Harry Potter. A few nosey parents even snapped photos of him from the distance, babbling about how so-and-so from next door would be so jealous, or "do you wonder if the Daily Prophet would pay me for a photo like this?"
Hermione tried to ignore the scene as quickly people were murmuring about her as well and a few comments could even be heard about Ginny, whose actions in the final battle had become entirely blown out of proportion.
"REALLY PEOPLE?" Ginny finally exclaimed out loud, after overhearing a particularly imaginative tale of how she had destroyed three death eaters in a single spell. She shook her head at the distaste of it all.
"Hey Harry" Hermione greeted when they finally edged their way close enough.
"Hi Hermione" he greeted, with a genuine smile that warmed her heart.
Although less than a year prior, Luna had spent months as a prisoner in the Malfoy Manor one would not have guessed by Luna's typical serene nature. "Hello Hermione. Hello Ginny. I was just telling Harry about a particularly interesting article about Grindylow mating rituals. It was written by Rolf Scamander, grandson of the famous Newton Scamander. Rolf is every bit as brilliant as his grandfather, and much more handsome based on pictures I've seen" she concluded dreamily.
"Interesting" Hermione responded, not sure what else to say. She saw a flash of laughter in Harry's eyes and nearly giggled.
Ginny was keeping off at a slight distance, seemingly not listening to Luna's rambling. Harry tried hard not to look at her, but he couldn't help but observe that she looked as pretty as ever, and it felt like a knife in his chest every time he managed a side-long glance.
With a long whistle the Hogwarts Express came puffing into the station, greeted by the gasp and cheers of many first years whom, to Harry's eye, looked impossibly young. Was I really that small when we retrieved the Sorcerer's Stone? he wondered with amusement.
Hermione for her part, was thinking deeply about the dream she had of sending her own children off on the Hogwart's Express one day. She was hardly able to focus on anything except for how vivid that dream had been. Ron her husband, Ginny and Harry, brother and sister-in-law. In the dream she could even see Draco Malfoy boarding his own son on the train. Could it ever be a reality? It had felt too hazy and... unlikely? She didn't want to admit that to herself. Had she become such a pessimist that she didn't believe that one day, life could be happy and peaceful?
There was a long whistle as the train came chugging to a halt at the platform.
"Well, here we go" Harry whispered in her ear. "Another year at Hogwarts. Are you ready?"
She took his hand, and they boarded the train.
*********************
Arriving at the station, thestrals awaited the students to bring them to the castle. Hermione had never been able to see them before, but the war had exposed her to death many times over. She supposed that many of the returning students could now see the morbid, horse-like creatures.
As they rode up to the castle, many felt tense, not sure what to expect. The final battle had left much of the castle in ruins, but Professor McGonagall had assured them that volunteers from around the world had flooded in to help repair the historic school and show their gratitude to those who had made their stand there.
It seemed that the volunteers had done an astonishing job. The rubble, the broken walls, the blood soaked grounds... they had all been returned to normal, as if it was nothing more than a bad dream. The only change they could see as they arrived was a large monument that had been erected at the front of the school.
This is where the thestrals dropped the students off, and they all curiously crowded around the statue that appeared to be a large sword, pointed up towards the sky. On closer inspection, the marble monument closely resembled the sword of Gryffindor. Inscribed beneath were the words, "MAY WE REMEMBER THAT ONLY WHEN WE FIND COURAGE, MAY WE DEFEAT THE COWARDICE OF EVIL".
Beneath the bold inscription was a list of the names of all who had fallen. Ginny cried softly as she ran her fingers across FRED WEASLEY and Harry turned away, unable to stomach seeing Tonks and Lupins names there, amongst the many others. He headed for the great hall, the feeling of hopefulness somewhat sinking from his stomach as flash back after flash back flooded his mind.
Hermione kneeled gently besides Ginny, softly squeezing the younger girl's shoulder as a sign of comfort. Ginny wiped her tears away, suddenly aware that many eyes were watching her. It was clearly going to be a very long year.
"C'mon Ginny" Hermione said softly, "let's go inside. It's time to put the past behind us." But even as Hermione spoke those words it seemed fickle. How could they just move on? All she could see in her head right now was Hagrid, carrying Harry's limp body just meters away from this very spot. She wished she had Ron's hand in hers right now, as she had that terrible night.
The Great Hall looked exactly as it had their first day at Hogwarts. First years gasped at the enchanted ceiling, and she even heard one little girl cite "Hogwarts, A History". Despite herself, Hermione smiled. She spotted Harry at the Gryffindor table, fidling with his head boy badge with uncertainty. She sat down next to him, and then, looking into his eyes, she realized how deeply troubled he was.
"What is it Harry?" she whispered, as many took their seat around them.
"It's just a lot to handle. I literally died here not many months ago. Think about that." He seemed to be trying to make some sort of joke, but humor did not fill his tone.
"I try not to think about it Harry" Hermioned quickly responded, upset that he had brought back that memory she had only just vanquished from thought. She wanted to comfort him, but she was unable. Instead she interested herself in playing with the utensils set out before her, trying to keep tears at bay. She had made a promise that she would be strong through it all.
Once everyone was seated and the first years collected at the front of the room, Head Mistress McGonagall stood, quickly creating a hushed silence around the room. Harry studied the aging professor and felt a sudden sense of peace at the sight of her. She may not be Dumbledore, but McGonagall had always shown her support to Harry, and she had shown great courage many times. Harry admired her- she was a reminder of all that was good about Hogwarts.
"As you know, we start this year with a note of sorrow. At the end of last semester, we all lost friends, family, and all around wonderful witches and wizards. They died on these very grounds protecting what they most believed in. Many of you stood side by side as evil showed it's face on the doorstep of this beloved school. We truly saw the face of evil that night, and it will never leave us.
But I urge you, do not let the hatred of others darken these halls that have always been so filled with hope. Hogwarts has seen many secrets, and often too much blood. But it has also seen boys and girls transform into great men and women. It has seen fascinating lessons about the magical world in which we live. It has seen spirited battles fought out on the quidditch pitch. It has seen love, trust and friendship blossom. Hogwarts is a truly wonderful place, and we cannot let the actions of evil destroy that for us. It is my sincere hope and belief that this year will be one of the greatest in Hogwarts' history."
Before McGonagall was able to finish a huge roar of applause had filled the Great Hall, not the least of which was contributed by Harry, Ginny and Hermione who had risen to their feet and were quickly followed by the rest of the students. The applause escalated into a chanting of the school song, "Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts."
The sound of voices joined in the celebration lifted Harry's spirits and reminded him once more why it had all been worth it, and suddenly he could not say he had a single regret. Life had led him here, and there wasn't any place else he'd rather be. He slipped his hand into Hermione's briefly and she squeezed it tightly before letting go.
The rest of the night resumed just as it had for centuries. The sorting hat sang its song and the first years were sorted into their houses. A great feast appeared at the tables and the students dug in greedily, eating until they were very nearly ill. At the end of it all, prefects led the student up to the dorms along with Harry and Hermione serving as head boy and girl.
A great perk to Harry and Hermione's elevated status at Hogwarts was that they each got their own bedrooms. Harry inspected his room happily, feeling as though he had returned home somehow. He opened the windows and looked out over the dark grounds of Hogwarts, relaxing against the sill as he marveled at how the stars reflected so brightly in the lake below. McGonagall was right, it would be a good year.
**********************
Harry had nearly fallen asleep in his clothes, resting in his bed when Hermione suddenly came barging through the door and startled him from his relaxation.
"Bloody hell Hermione, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" he scowled, lazily sitting upright in his bed. "What if I had been getting undressed or something?"
Hermione blushed slightly at the thought, but still remained resolute. "Harry, you daft fool, we have to do rounds."
"Ugggh" he grumbled. "I forgot why I didn't want to be head boy."
"Yes, well, too late now" she sighed. "You can take the halls on the east side of the castle and I will take the west. With any luck we can get through this quickly enough to be back to bed within two hours."
"Two hours?" Harry blurted out. He rolled his eyes as they left Gryffindor tower. "I thought maybe I'd get some decent sleep for the first time in months, but so much for that."
"Are you still having trouble sleeping?" she asked, a note of concern in her voice.
"Every night" he admitted. "I dream I'm dead again, and I'm talking to Dumbledore, but this time, I choose to stay and not go back to the fight. And I see the faces of everyone I've ever lost, and I feel an overwhelming sense of peace... but then they all start to sort of rot slowly, and I realize that I'm dreaming, that each and every one of them is rotting in the ground, and I wake up and I'm still alive."
Hermione was suprised by the vivid detail in which he described his dream. "Oh Harry" she sighed. "Life has never been easy on you."
"But it could be worse" Harry shrugged. And then with a smile he added, "I could be Draco Malfoy."
***********************
Hermione wandered the hallways, her wand a glow, casting eerie shadows from the stone walls. Outside the moon was in crescent shape, and she halted at a large window to look out at the silver light it cast, covering the tree tops of the Forbidden Forest.
There were so many secrets to the world of magic, so many adventures lurking in the distance. That was one of the things she had fallen in love with about the wizarding world; the endless possibilities. Looking out into the dark night, it was hard not to feel that old twinge of excitement well up in her stomach, that insatiable lust for mystery and adventure.
Early in the summer, she had wondered if the horrors of war may have killed her desire to learn and explore, if it may have turned her timid. In fact, it would only be logical to be fearful after all she had seen, done, and lost. But somehow, that part of her that needed to solve the next puzzle was still deeply there, a part of her. And as she realized this, she felt like she remembered who she was, and it was a deeply peaceful feeling.
She relaxed against the window fully now, watching as a faint breeze whispered across the tree tops, sending each leaf dancing in the night air. She pressed her face against the cool glass and allowed herself a moment of tranquility.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her from behind, and she tried to scream but a hand was clamped firmly over her mouth. As she attempted to pull herself from the grasp of her capture she heard a familiar chuckle.
"HARRY!" she yelled as he gently let her go. "You could have scared me to death!"
"I'm sorry" he laughed, sounding truly apologetic. "You just looked like you were on a whole other planet, and I couldn't help myself."
She marveled at how quietly he had approached her. Studying him in the faint glow of the moonlight, she once more noted how athletic and nearly graceful he had become; he was no longer the gawky teen she had known for so many years. He would truly be a great auror one day.
Despite her thoughts, she scowled at him. "There's no way you finished your rounds already."
"That's because I realized how stupid it all was. Why walk all over this damned castle when I have this?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a grin at his own cleverness. "See, no insolent children wandering the hallways. Just you and I!"
She pulled the map out of his hands and saw that he was speaking the truth. "It just feels like cheating somehow" she sighed, folding the map back up and handing it to him.
"Well, call it what you will, but it's a time saver, that's for sure."
"So, what now, you're going to head to bed?"
"No, I'm sort of wired now. Let's go exploring."
She gaped at him. "Honestly Harry, we're head boy and girl now, we can't just be gallivanting around the grounds at all hours of the night."
"Why not? We always did before! And what's the fun of being head boy and girl if you're just being good all the time?"
She found herself oddly without an answer to this. With a fair measure of exasperation she agreed to his proposal, and so they proceeded to wander Hogwarts grounds, creeping through the hallways and avoiding the lazily dozing paintings. It was just as it had been before the war, except they were without Ron, and they both resolved that next time they would have to drag their red headed friend out of Hogsmeade for their adventuring.
Harry was just glad that Hermione had agreed that there would be a next time.
***************************
The next morning began the chaos of classes. Harry's first class of the day was advanced defense against the dark arts, and he was very curious to meet the professor. The night before there had been a noticeable seat empty at the head table of the Great Hall, and there had been whispers about who might be teaching the subject (which was notorious for having a different instructor each year).
Hermione had opted to take advanced healing instead, saying that she had quite enough of dark arts for a while. And so Harry found himself with only a handful of other students as they awaited for the arrival of their mysterious professor.
The door in the back of the classroom opened and the students craned their necks to see who had entered. A tall man with broad shoulders came sweeping into the classroom, his robes billowing out behind him in a way that would have made Severus Snape jealous. The man had a muscular but slender build, and was not very old, perhaps a bit younger than Harry's father would have been. He had dark but handsome features, a shadow of stubble matching his black hair. In some ways, he actually resembled an older Harry.
He took his place at the front of the classroom and then smiled at the students, easing their tension. "Hello, my name is Jonathan Freeman. I will be your defense against the dark arts teacher for this year. I know that I have some large shoes to fill... the noble Remus Lupin, the stoic Mad Eye Moody, and... the truly heroic Severus Snape."
Professor Freeman looked directly at Harry as he said this last part, and a hurried whisper rose up from the other students who had last known Snape as a death eater and murderer. Harry wondered how this peculiar new professor knew the truth about Severus Snape.
"Severus Snape was a spy against the Dark Lord, a man who was not known for being fooled easily. He kept his spine through many difficult situations, and for that we all owe him much gratitude. And let this be my first lesson to you... nothing is at it seems."
He paused for a moment, letting this sink in with the flustered students. "That being said, I do hope that you may learn some things of great importance from me. As you may guess from my accent, I am not from Britain but was born in raised in the United States. I have spent the past 20 years as a part of what we in the States call the Invisible Force which is much like your aurors, but a bit more secretive and international. I have seen a great variety of dark magic, and I am here to warn you that dark magic can have many more faces than that of Voldemort."
He smiled once more, showing a row of pearly white teeth. But his smile was reassuring, genuine somehow, in a way that Lockhart had never been. "Enough of the heavy stuff. I am truly honored to be teaching at the school that vanquished the Dark Lord. I must say, I am quite flattered to be teaching THE Harry Potter. Yes, we know your name even in the U.S. of A. I dare say, there are many things I could learn from you."
Freeman's dark grey eyes held Harry's gaze for a moment, conveying a look of true admiration. Then he turned to the board and proceeded to write down two words, "Les Maudites". He turned back to the classroom and eyes them carefully.
"Translation?" he finally asked.
A Ravenclaw student slowly raised her hand, "It's French" she explained, sounding a bit like Hermione in the process. "It means The Damned".
"Precisely" Professor Freeman said with charming smile. "But what does it refer to?" he looked around, but saw only puzzled faces staring back at him. "It is a term for a very old type of dark magic, I am not surprised you have never heard of it. It is nearly impossible to read about it in any books these days, and is known to few. Les Maudites are a type of wizard or witch that are marked by death. Their powers are unstoppable. They do not require a wand to perform magic. They can destroy or create with a mere thought. They can perform magic and create potions that would be simply impossible to the rest of us. In essence, they would make Voldemort look like a whimpering baby."
There was uneasy laughter at this analogy. "Fortunately" he continued, "there has not been one known to the wizarding world in thousands of years. They are very rare, as you can imagine. The circumstances in which they must be created are precise, and difficult to replicate. So why am I discussing them you ask? Because, I want you to always be prepared. There are a great many things in the wizarding world that are peculiar and unexpected. To expect the unexpected is the most important quality of any great witch or wizard."
The remainder of the class was spent reviewing past spells and incantations. Harry decided that he liked Professor Freeman, and was hopeful that it would be a year of learning things of great use.
After classes had ended for the day, Harry headed to the Quidditch pitch for some relaxing flying. He flew lazy circles up in the sky, thinking about the day and wondering about the future. Suddenly, he remembered the letter from Mr. Anonymous still in his trunk. He had meant to discuss the matter with someone, but most of the people he had typically gone to were dead now. He thought about bringing up to Hermione, but it would only make her worry. Perhaps he would see what Professor Freeman made of it... but he'd have to be sure he fully trusted the man first. Besides, he hadn't received another letter since. There didn't appear to be any real urgency in dealing with the matter.
He took in a long breath as he sat far above the stadium, and looked at how the setting sun melted into the clouds. He felt almost light, as though a burden had been lifted from his shoulders, and he couldn't remember feeling so... himself... in years. He steadied his broom, and without further delay kicked it directly downwards, spiraling into a Wonsky Feint at break-neck speed.
Far below, Hermione had been waiting for Ron who was supposed to walk up from Hogsmeade and meet her at the Quidditch pitch to go for a walk. She had seen Harry circling lazily in the sky, and as he came downward she felt a pang of fear for him due to the rate in which he was descending. Of course, he leveled out easily just before hitting the grassy terrain, and then was swooping upwards once more.
She rolled his eyes at him. Of course he's fine she thought, the wind gently playing with her brown curls. Harry fall off a broomstick? Never. Although she was not a huge fan of Quidditch (she often secretly studied when the games got dull), she had always admired Harry's raw talent for the sport. Watching him fly gave her a lighthearted feeling.
"Hiyah" greeted a husky voice from behind her. She spun to see Ron standing there, his hands shoved nervously in his pocket.
"Ron" she smiled, hugging his neck and kissing his cheek.
"Is that Harry up there?" he asked, squinting hard.
"Yes, looks like he's having some fun for himself. I'm sure you could join him if you'd like."
"And leave my girl on the ground?" he scoffed. "C'mon then, how about a walk around the lake before the sun goes down?"
"Sounds good" she smiled, linking arms with him.
From high above the ground Harry watched the two, and he felt a pang in his chest and wished it would go away. He ought to be happy for the two of them, they were alive, safe and together. And he was happy for that. It's just loneliness he told himself, diving into a barrel roll in hopes of clearing his fuzzy mind. But was it really?
He had been in love with her since he could remember. She had given everything to him, and how could he not be desperately in love with someone who could give that much of themselves? Besides, she was brilliant, and funny, and beautiful... God is she beautiful he thought to himself, suddenly wishing he had smashed into the ground on that last dive. He knew how Ron and Hermione felt for each other, and he had been desperate not to ruin that. He didn't want to acknowledge his feelings for her, but now that all was quiet he couldn't quite ignore them.
He had truly had feelings for Ginny, feelings that still lingered like a wound that wouldn't heal. But they weren't comparable to the love he had felt for his best friend since he was eleven. She was really the only one alive who had been unfailingly loyal to him. Ron had been a wonderful friend, but he also had a flare of jealousy and bad temper that had come between them at times. No, only Hermione had stood by Harry's side through it all.
He flew higher and higher up into the air, until the clouds blocked out the sight of the happy couple walking hand-in-hand. At this height he felt cold and he shivered a bit. I'm just lonely he tried to tell himself again. He braced himself to dive once more. If I hit the ground this time, fuck it.