Present: That's Okay
Kate and Arthur had finally taken pity on their father, although Shepard suspected they had no intention of sitting still for long. Instead of running through the memorial like small masochists hurtling towards a head injury, they sat on a bench, watching the names on the pillars stretch long shadows across the flat paved area near the pillars as Alioth began to set. At first, Kate had pulled her brother into her lap, but Arthur had quickly squirmed away. Whether Arthur was reacting to the discomfort of sitting on his sister's thin legs or asserting his independence as a three-year-old, Shepard couldn't tell.
Regardless, Shepard was relieved that the two of them seemed to have calmed down. He turned his full attention to the names on the memorial, moving slowly from pillar to pillar until he found Clara Abigail Petersen. On the same pillar with his family's names. It always made Shepard furious to find her name listed just after James Mason Petersen, as though her father was entitled to a claim on Clara even in death. Still, he promised himself that this year he would remember that Clara's name was on the same pillar as the names of the Shepards. We were her real family, he thought angrily. Not Mr. Petersen. Us. Me. I loved her.
"Hi, Clara," he said quietly. "Miss you. I'm sorry I haven't told Kate and Arthur about you. I didn't want to confuse them, what with Red—Red left me, you know.
"No, that's not fair. She didn't leave me; we divorced. We just kept fighting. I think we both thought the other one would give in and change their mind about their career, and where the family should live, but in the end, neither one of us was willing to compromise. I feel like it was my fault more than hers. There's nothing wrong with living on Elysium, I guess. She was right about the schools being better out there, at least.
"I just—I just can't be around that many people anymore. Especially not on Elysium. Does that sound selfish? They used to love me on Elysium, but after the Reapers…." Shepard smiled. "Sorry. I didn't come here just so you could listen to me complain.
"Maybe next year, I'll introduce you to Kate—she's so smart, she'd probably have understood about you this year. She would've understood last year, for that matter. But it's hard enough for her and Arthur—he looks so much like my dad, except for that blond hair it's incredible; you'd really like him—it's hard enough for me to explain why Red doesn't live on the same planet as us anymore without bringing other women into things."
He sighed. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. How am I supposed to let them be away from me all summer? Every summer. And holidays—I only get half of them. Christmas every other year?
"I know I shouldn't complain; Red could've tried to take them during the school year. Still, summer's coming so fast. I can't imagine being without them!
"Sorry," he apologized again to Clara, bending over to deposit the flowers he'd brought her at the foot of the pillar. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Maybe I'll come back and visit again while the kids are with Red. Hope you're doing all right. Love you. Miss you." He leaned his head against the glass, looking up, startled, when he felt someone take his hand.
"Hey, Katydid," he smiled. Then he frowned. "Wait. Where's your brother?"