Chapter 13 - Mending Bonds
Legolas meekly pried open the door to the guest chamber. His golden hair fell forward onto his face as he peered into the room. Nervously his brushed his hair aside, making his way forward to where Elladan sat. The elfling stood at Elladan's side and gently placed one of his small hands on the older elf's knee.
Elladan looked down and smiled weakly at Legolas. Legolas sadly noted that Elladan's smile did not reach his eyes.
"Hey little one, how are you feeling? Does your arm hurt you?" Elladan asked, seeing the bandage wrapped around it. He was not aware Legolas had been extensively injured.
Legolas shook his head. "Elrohir made it feel better."
Elladan frowned slightly. Was that why Elrohir had not yet awoken? He had used too much energy in an already weakened state? But no, could that really be it? Usually a night's rest in a deep healing sleep is enough to regain lost energy. Yet Elrohir had not yet awoken. In fact he looked worse off than the night before.
"Umm Elladan," Legolas hesitated, breaking Elladan out of his reverie. "I found something that I think belongs to you."
Elladan raised an eyebrow, giving the elfling his full attention.
Legolas opened his palm. Elladan froze staring at it in a state of complete shock. His heart sped up beating rapidly in his chest, his breathing stilled.
"Is it real?" Elladan asked in a daze, his head felt heavy. He just stared at it. Not touching it, not moving it. Fearing that if he were to touch it, the illusion would break and it would be lost forever.
"Yes," Legolas said. "I took if off an orc. The one that almost hurt me had it."
Elladan's breath caught in his chest. "You mean to tell me that- that those were the orcs that harmed my mother?" he questioned, his head swimming. He found this revelation to be nearly unbearable coupled with the guilt and ever growing sense of dread he felt over Elrohir. He felt as if he were slowly being smothered.
"Umm," Legolas nervously hesitated. "I do not know, but they had this," he said, placing the star like gem into Elladan's hand.
Elladan ran his fingers over the delicate jewel, so expertly made by his father. What was once was lost was now found. It was dull, having lost all trace of light. His father would be saddened.
"The orc that almost hurt you had this in its possession," Elladan repeated, still in a state of disbelief. Though he and Elrohir had endlessly searched, he held no hope that it would actually be found; yet here it was. "The orc I killed had this in its possession," he whispered to himself.
Legolas nodded in confirmation.
Elladan closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Revenge had finally been granted and by his own hand. The orcs that had violated his mother destroying his family had been killed. Revenge. But it was not as sweet as he had hoped. Not without Elrohir. His heart sank, Elrohir. He had gotten his heart's greatest desire. Their search was finally over. But he did not feel fulfilled. His heart still lay heavy with grief, Elrohir had not awoken and the victory of revenge was meaningless with out Elrohir. Killing those orcs did not make him happy. Killing those orcs would not heal his mother. Or himself.
It was as his father had said before they left, "Revenge will not heal your heart, nor will it engender clarity and true peace but rather only instigate violence. Absolution and salvation must come from within. Revenge may stand beside justice, but little if any will it rectify what happened. Please do not do this. Please do not leave." Elladan now fully understood the meaning behind his father's words. Revenge did nothing to heal his heart, nor did it alleviate his grief. No, revenge is ultimately meaningless. Because once revenge is granted, still nothing will be changed.
No this time it is worse.
Elladan looked down upon Elrohir's still form in silence. Nothing and no one was more important to him than Elrohir, his other half.
Elladan felt ever-growing guilt over Elrohir. For each minute Elrohir lay still, Elladan felt himself falling deeper into darkness. Elladan realized Elrohir's injuries were not physical, but emotional. He drove Elrohir away. Not just away from himself, but away from the light. And now all he held in his had was his mother's pendant. What he would give to trade it just to hear Elrohir's voice.
The dark atmosphere of the room was almost too much for Legolas to handle. This was not the reaction he had been expecting. Elladan had gotten what he had wanted, why wasn't he satisfied? Legolas did not understand. Then Elladan did something most concerning, something that shook Legolas to the core.
"Elladan?" Legolas hesitated. "Elladan, why are you crying? Are you hurt? I am going to get Ada," he decided, running from the room.
The silence of the room consumed Elladan. Elrohir was right. He was broken.
"It is all my fault, I'm so sorry brother. It's my fault," Elladan said, leaning over his brother's prone lifeless body. Elrohir's lips were blue, and he was cold to the touch, as if he were ice. His breathing was so shallow, barely noticeable. "Please come back to me. I need you. I cannot live without you," Elladan choked through sobs.
Endless tears ran down his cheeks. There was an unbearable sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. He felt numb. His brain was foggy and heavy in grief. He couldn't contain it all; it tore at his insides. It was too much. He could not comprehend his surroundings, but it didn't matter where he was anymore. Wherever his brother went, he would soon follow. His attention lay focused on his brother's pale lifeless face. He felt as though he couldn't breath, couldn't move. He was trapped – suffocating. He felt blood rushing to his ears. Dizzy, he was dizzy. Why was this happening? He felt nothing. Empty.
He wrapped his arms tightly himself and drew his knees up to his chest. He could find no comfort. There was no more light left in this world. It was hopeless. The shadows were swallowing him whole, finally claiming their long awaited prize. His brother was fading and it was his fault, his entire fault. He pushed his brother over the edge. He did this to him.
"Elrohir, it hurts, it hurts so much," Elladan whispered sobbed, clutching the star pendant tightly to his chest. "I cannot deal with this pain."
"You do not have to," Thranduil softly replied, comforting squeezing Elladan's shoulder.
Elladan startled at the contact, he had not heard the Elvenking enter the room, but it did not matter anymore.
The scene was familiar to Thranduil; it was how Elrohir had described his vision, though the roles had been flipped. Perhaps they had been all along, a misinterpretation. Thranduil now knew what must be done. Great visions do not occur by chance, they are messages from the Valar, given to one with purpose and meaning. Thranduil smiled to himself, a Star shines brightly watching over the Peredhil, sailing across the night sky.
"I tried everything, his body is healed but he does not awaken," Elladan sobbed, not caring that the Great King Thranduil, one of the Elven Lords he respected the most saw him so broken and weak, at his lowest. "We have not chosen a kindred," Elladan cried. "If Elrohir were to die would his death would be of the fate of the First born or the Second born? I know not. Is there such chance he would be gone forever? I cannot bear it."
"You have already given up," Thranduil stated. "Elrohir still draws breath. Have hope. Open your heart and your mind to Elrohir. Bonds cannot be easily broken, only hidden. Search yourself. The threads that bind you are still there, they need only to be found again."
"It will cause him great pain," Elladan whispered, letting the tears fall freely. "I do not wish to hurt him any further. Is there nothing you can do?"
"Elladan you are blind to yourself, for too long your grief has clouded your mind and your judgment. By closing your bond you hurt Elrohir more than you help him. I know you only wish to protect him. Your intensions are true and admirable, but when one hides the truth to protect someone, the truth hidden only hurts them more in the end. It is best to be honest from the beginning."
"I am afraid," Elladan admitted in a tearful whisper.
"Relinquish your fear. For fear does not exist anywhere but in the mind," Thranduil softly replied.
"I…" Elladan paused.
"It is never to late, come," Thranduil said taking Elladan's hands in his. Gently he pulled Elladan to his feet and walked him over to the bed where Elrohir lay. "Elrohir needs you, open your self to him."
Elladan took his brother's hands within his own, and bent forward, leaning over his prone body, touching his forehead to his brother's. Tears fell from his eyes landing on Elrohir's cheeks. Elladan closed his eyes and concentrated, trying while his whole heart to reach out to Elrohir.
Thranduil left the room as silently as he had come. There was nothing else he could do. It was up to the brothers now to save themselves. Thranduil quietly closed the chamber door, and looked down to find Legolas sitting against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest.
"I am sorry Ada. I did not mean to make Elladan cry," Legolas whispered. "Is he alright?"
Thranduil reached down and lifted Legolas into his arms. "You have nothing to apologize for. Legolas, you have done nothing wrong."
"But will Elladan and Elrohir be alright?" Legolas sniffled.
"Only time will tell," the Elvenking replied. "Why don't we go sit in the garden?"
Elladan concentrated; he concentrated deeply on only Elrohir. He searched within himself for those bonds, the ones that linked him to Elrohir. Then he saw it, flickering faintly within the depths of his mind, a small light.
Bright like a small star. It was not his light, but his brother's, the one he had been so desperately holding onto. His anchor. He reached out towards it, stretching the very depths of his mind to grasp on to that small flickering light of Elrohir.
Instantly Elladan was flooded with warmth. He could feel his brother's fëa surrounding him, filling the empty vastness within him. How he missed this connection. How he missed Elrohir.
"I am so sorry Elrohir," Elladan cried, his tears spilling over onto his brother's cheeks.
Elrohir lay motionless. Elladan cried even harder. He was too late. Guilt and unbearable sorrow filled him.
"Elrohir, please do not leave me," he sobbed, resting his head on his brother's chest. He could hardly make out Elrohir's faint heartbeat. "I need you."
Elladan's body shook as he sobbed wholeheartedly onto Elrohir. He was so consumed in his grief that Elladan did not notice a warm pair of arms circling him. He did not notice that Elrohir felt warmer or that his heartbeat was healthy and strong He just lay next to Elrohir, his head on his chest, sobbing brokenly.
"Please do not leave me," Elladan hopelessly whispered through tears.
Elrohir hugged Elladan tighter, "I am not going anywhere, my Brother."
Elladan slightly lifted his head to look upon Elrohir's face. "Elrohir?" he questioned.
"It is I," Elrohir replied, reaching up to lightly touch Elladan's cheek.
"I am so sorry, I am sorry for everything," Elladan cried.
"Shhh, dear one. You have no need to apologize. But I am sorry as well. I was cruel," Elrohir replied.
"Nay, you were honest," Elladan said.
"So were you brother," Elrohir replied. "Let us move forward."
Elladan nodded in agreement, crying harder in relief.
"We are stronger together," Elrohir said. He made to reach for Elladan's hand but stopped, noticing something. "Brother what have you in your hand that you grip so tightly?" he asked.
Slowly Elladan unclenched his palm revealing their prize.
"Where did you find this?" Elrohir asked in a state of complete disbelief, tears gathered in his eyes.
"Legolas found it, took off one of the orcs. A dangerously brave feat," Elladan told through tears, handing the pendant to his brother.
Elrohir held it high in the air above them. "Something so small," he whispered, his own small tears escaped his eyes.
The brothers sat close together, tears of sadness and relief ran down their cheeks. The weight of revenge slowly lifted from their shoulders. Together their tears trailed down their cheeks landing onto the pendant and mixing together washing it clear until it shone anew, renewed like their bond, which was now stronger than before.
Elladan's emotional turmoil still cut him deep, but he knew with his brother's help he would slowly mend. It was comforting, that feeling, knowing you're not alone. He soon fell asleep, with his head resting upon his brother's shoulder.
Elrohir smoothed Elladan's hair away. He had his greatest desire; his bond with his brother was mending. Like two halves of a whole, he knew they were stronger together than apart. He twirled the pendant around his fingers, running his hands across the smooth chain, briefly wondering where it came from.
He looked down at his sleeping brother's form. Slowly Elladan would heal, and he would be there to help pick up the pieces of his heart. Elrohir felt foolish for thinking Elladan had abandoned him. They had been together, inseparable for their whole lives. Nothing could ever change that.
And now that their revenge had been granted, he couldn't help but ask a single question, what would they do now?
Thranduil sat upon the bench under the great tree within his wife's garden, Legolas was tucked safely under his arm, wrapped warmly in his cloak. The leaves gently swayed in the wind as the white flowers danced upon the branches reflecting the light of the moon.
"Look my son, the stars shine brightly tonight," Thranduil said. " Elbereth has gifted us with a wondrous evening."
Legolas looked up and smiled, snuggling closer into his father. "Ada, Eärendil shines brightest of all," he said.
Singing could be heard from the distance as the elves of Mirkwood looked up upon the night sky, praising Elbereth.
"Aye, Legolas. The world all around us constantly changes, but they stars, they remain the same. A small comfort," seeing his son's confused look Thranduil continued. "But you are young and have much to see, one day you shall understand."
It was evening of the next day. Thranduil and Legolas were seated together in one of the King's private sitting rooms. Thranduil was softly reading some of his favorite poetry to his son. Poetry was one of Thranduil's guilty pleasures, once he became enthralled in reading it was difficult to tear him away.
A soft knock on the door briefly took his attention away as both he and Legolas looked up to find Galion entering the room.
"My Lord, Lords Elladan and Elrohir wish to see you," Galion announced.
Legolas' eyes widened. "They are awake!" he chimed excited.
"Aye let them in!" Thranduil said. "And bring out a bottle of wine and some tea for Legolas."
"Very well my Lord," Galion responded, opening the door wide for the brothers to enter.
The brothers were dressed similarly with meticulously braided hair and finely pressed robes.
"We mean not to disturb you," Elrohir apologetically said entering the room first.
"Ada was reading poetry, would you care to join us?" Legolas asked excited.
"What a courteous offer, but we actually came to speak with you Legolas," Elrohir said, as he and Elladan took a seat on cushioned sofa across from the father and son.
"With me?"
"Aye," Elladan replied. "I, we, had not thanked you yet," he said, taking out his mother's white star pendant. "We had been searching for this for a very long time with little hope. It was slowly destroying me. Not once did I ever think it would be found, or I would be saved in the Taur-e-Ndaedelos, the Forest of Great Fear. So thank you penneth," Elladan said kneeling before Legolas. "I am sorry if I frightened you yesterday."
Thranduil smiled as Legolas stood from his spot and hugged Elladan.
Legolas whispered in Elladan's ear, so only he could hear, "When the memory of fear and darkness trouble you, this will bring you aid, that is what Ada said to me when he gave me my Nana's Greenleaf. Now I say it to you as you have your star back."
"Thank you," Elladan replied, struggling to control his emotions, clenching the pendant tightly. "But I must ask, where is your leaf?"
Legolas sadly looked to the ground.
Thranduil placed a hand upon his son's shoulder. "It was crushed by an orc," Thranduil replied.
"I am sorry," Elladan sadly whispered.
"It is alright. It feels strange not to wear it, but I will be okay," Legolas said.
"So that is where the chain came from," Elrohir said. Looked towards Legolas smiling. "Thank your for your gift. It will not be forgotten." Then pendant meant more to Elrohir now than it did before. Not only was the pendant a symbol of their hearts but also holding it up was a symbol of an elfling's courage and friendship.
Legolas returned their smiles as he sat back down next to his father. A knock on the door meant Galion had returned with their beverages.
They sat with Thranduil and Legolas, talking long into the late hours of the evening, sipping on wine. Legolas had contently fallen asleep in his father's arms, his chest rising up and down in peaceful slumber, a hand clenched tightly to lock of his father's golden hair.
"You know Thranduil, Legolas saved my life," Elrohir said thoughtfully, after a few moments of silence. "He shot an arrow at the spider who bit me, distracting it. I am indebt to him. "
Thranduil raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Legolas had failed to inform him on this little detail.
"Then as I am," Elladan added. "For in life or in death, my fate will be the same as Elrohir's. We will not be separated. He saved both of us that day."
"He has a kind heart like his mother," Thranduil replied. "And though he does not realize it yet, he is brave. He will make a great warrior one day."
TBC