Recap:

After learning the terms of their bonding, Sirius and Remus need to go find Harry. Archie for one doesn't believe they can handle it. Stick around to find out.

Sorry it's been FOREVER my darlings. I have not forgotten about you! Please review so I don't get lonely

Disclaimer: I own nothing. For more detail, feel free to read disclaimer in Chapter 1.

September 10, 2009

"Harry I know baby, I know. I miss them too. Shhh it's going to be ok, your uncle Remus is here now."

Remus murmured softly to the wailing infant in his arms rocking back and forth slightly in hopes of calming him. Sirius stood off to the side, watching in silence. They stood in an empty hallway, just outside the heavily warded doors of the Wizarding Child Services Office. Harry's cries echoed off the high marble ceilings and seemed to fill the huge space with their grief. Sirius felt tears welling up in his eyes. He moved to wipe them away as subtly as possible, trying not to draw attention to himself.

Remus's voice became thicker and more frantic as Harry's cries refused to subside. Tears ran freely down his face as he tried in vain to calm the infant. Sirius watched the two of them with a resigned sadness, his heart breaking in his chest for his deceased friends and their remaining child. Remus turned to look at him, eyes pleading, and Sirius's heart broke a little more at the look in the small mans eyes. Sirius walked towards the infant and the man he was about to be forced to spend the rest of his life with. Harry's cry was beginning to sound a little thin around the edges and it led Remus to hopefully believe that he had cried himself out.

Sirius hesitantly wrapped an arm around Remus's shoulder turning him towards the end of the hallway. Remus sagged tiredly against Sirius, shaking his head slightly.

"Maybe Archie's right. Maybe we can't do this."

Sirius tightened his arm around Remus, leaning his cheek on the soft tawny hair. His voice was soft and teasing.

"Doubting yourself already Lupin?"

Remus sighed and looked at the floor, examining his scuffed shoes. Harry's cries were definitely becoming quieter, seemingly realizing that what he was crying for was futile. Remus shrugged his shoulders in a way that was intended to display emotion and not to dislodge Sirius's arm.

"Look Sirius…"

Sirius hastily removed himself from Remus and stepped in front of him, blocking his path. Even in a rumpled plaid shirt, with a few days scruff on his face he cut an intimidating figure.

"No you look Remus. Damnit. I know you didn't want this. I didn't want this! And Harry? Well he didn't damn well want this either! But we have it. Alright? It's not ideal, but it's what it is. That's it. No doubting, no second guessing. This is it."

Remus cuddled the now silent Harry closer to his chest and made a move to dodge the large man and continue down the hallway.

"It's more complicated than that Sirius." He sighed, his body seeming to shrink further in on itself, his slim frame becoming even more slight. "It's always going to be more complicated than that!" he huffed angrily, stalking down the hallway. When he had almost reached the apparition point he stopped in his tracks. "You wouldn't understand."

Sirius growled and stomped after him, spinning him roughly around by the shoulder, careful not to jostle the wide-eyed baby.

"Don't you dare tell me I wouldn't understand!" Sirius's fists balled tight against his sides and he was practically shaking with repressed emotion. "Contrary to popular belief Lupin" his voice lilted cruelly on Remus's last name. "I am not a dim, heartless bastard." Tears shone unshed in his eyes leading Remus to believe that his outburst really had very little to do with him. "But you know what, you're right. I won't damn well understand if you won't even tell me."

Remus hung his head, defeated, too tired to fight anymore. Harry began to whimper slightly at the anger radiating off Sirius. Remus patted his back reassuringly, but Harry continued to squirm.

"Sirius I'm tired, I don't want to fight with you about this right now." He shifted Harry into the crook of one arm and used the other to rub his tired eyes. "can we just go home? Please?"

Sirius's anger deflated as quickly as it had flared. He looked sternly at Remus, eyes calculating. "Fine. But this isn't over. If we're to be together for some indefinite length of time I expect you to trust me, and to tell me things that will undoubtedly be concerning me somewhere in that future. Is that understood?"

Remus faltered for a moment.

"but I don't know if I ca…"

Sirius held up a hand menacingly, a slight growl in his voice.

"Is. That. Understood?"

Remus sighed. He walked to the apparition point with Harry cradled against his body. Right before he disappeared his eyes met Sirius's. Sirius could see his fear, defeat and heartbreak etched clearly across his face. His mouth barely moved to form the word that came out of his mouth.

"Understood."

The look on his face was enough to make Sirius feel like a right prat as the other man vanished into seemingly thin air. He hesitated for a moment, unclenching his tightly balled fists. He pulled out his wand and focused on his friend's house in Godric's Hollow. The wind picked up around him, whipping his hair from its fastening. His heart was heavy as he felt the tug of apparition in his chest. Or maybe it was just the feeling of his heart dying. He really wasn't sure anymore.