I do not own Criminal Minds and my thanks to my sister Skye for being my beta reader. My thanks to everyone has submitted a review.

Chapter #30

Reid helped Ashley up off of the chair and they slowly walked back to the house. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder where she held on to his hand with one hand and wrapped her free arm around his waist.

"I know that both Darcy and Ryan had their lawyers looking for loopholes in his diplomatic immunity, but unless I agreed to pressed charges, there was nothing that could be done." She continued before giving Reid a chance to ask her why.

"I just got sober and even you know of what it is like when you are first sober. Your cravings are strong; you are wondering why the hell are you doing this. Doubts that you can do this. We know that Julian's lawyers would tear me apart on the strand and I would have gone back to using." She stopped, looking at him.

"You are not going to find any proof that he was at my house. There will be no evidence that he attacked me and he will have a solid alibi. I will not be surprised if Hotch tells you to back off." He looked at her, where he can see the fear in her eyes.

"He will destroy you," she said where she started to shake.

He stepped closer wrapped his arms around her, carefully holding her, "He won't," he whispered. Ashley held him closer, closing her eyes, burying her face into his chest.

"You know that my story is not done," she said while still buried in his chest.

"I know." She pulled away and stuck her right hand inside his sleeve, rubbing that tattoo again. She traced her finger along the scar. She would only look at his shirt, staring at his black tie.

"I believed that Demon . . . Eh Julian was going to come back for me. Screaming at me to get out of bed and get ready for this party. He had this person that I had to fuck. Two days came and went, and I even left messages for him, telling him that I was sorry, please come get me. I would do anything to make it up with him. I was hurting, not only from the pain from the fall, but from the withdrawal symptoms. By the third day, Darcy was screaming at me, trying to get me to understand that he wasn't coming back. I was better off without him. It was late in the night when I went to the bathroom. I smashed the mirror and used the broken pieces where I slashed my wrist. I was then committed to the psychic ward of the hospital. Darcy had declared me mentally unfit. He was able to send me to this specialist where they deprogrammed me. Which by the way, you never want to be deprogrammed and go through withdrawals at the same time. It was just sheer hell." Reid took her hand into his. He slowly pulled her in and held her.

"But you made it," he said.

"Barely." She pulled away from him, where they started walking back to the house.

"I don't remember how long that lasted, but the next thing I knew is that I was sent to a halfway house for sober living. You know the place, where you learned how to live your life without the drugs." He nodded.

"That is where I meet Ryan. He was a recovering alcoholic. I was still in therapy with Julian and the addictions. I was also very mad at Darcy. Here he was, telling me that he was looking for me for the last few years, and boom, he sends me away for my own good. Everyone kept telling that I was going to get through this. That I was going to get better. Everyone kept defending Darcy to me, trying to explain why he done it. Everyone kept telling me that Julian had brainwashed me and I wasn't stupid. Blah, blah, blah. Ryan basically let me angry."

"He never said any of that?"

She shook her head, "He let me scream, and he let me break stuff without getting mad at me for breaking it. He basically let me be me. One night, we were out on the balcony, having a smoke. I was watching the traffic below where I realized that all of the anger, the rage that I had inside of me were now gone. I broke down and started crying." She looked at Reid.

"I finally started grieving for my son." They were at the house where Reid held the door open for her. He led her back to her bedroom in silence.

By the time, they got to her door, Ashley continued, "When Charlie disappeared, I had to be strong. I was terrified that if I broke down and cried, all of the attention would go to me instead of searching for my son. When his foot was found, I started using. So I really never grieved for him." He opened her bedroom door where she walked in. She slowly sat down on the cotton candy pink couch. Reid sat down beside her.

"When I finished my treatment, Ryan and I stayed in contact. We emailed to each other about once a week. We became good friends who understood that the world is sometimes completely fucked up. By then, I was declared legally fit and I was free to go. I first stayed with Darcy. Even though we were talking, but there were still issues between us. Then his job became seriously complicated where I couldn't be there anymore. I couldn't stand there and watch him ruin his life. I packed my bags and left. Ryan told me that if I ever end up in his neck of the woods, I could stay with him. So I showed up. In fact, I stayed in the apartment over the garage. I got a job as a waitress to pay rent and such. I started to get my life back together. I went to night school to get my high school diploma and was looking at a couple of college courses. By complete accident, I got the job teaching classes and doing those birthday parties. Ryan and I eventually fell in love, where he was able to make arrangements for me to see a doctor, a therapist where they found out that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain. Once I started taking medication, I felt better," she said, looking at him, pointing to her head. He nodded, crossing his leg over his knee, leaning back into his seat.

"I still felt sad about Charlie and furious at Julian. But I honestly felt like I was able to breathe again. I don't know if it was because the pills or the fact that I was finally away from Julian and the Scorpions, but I was my own person. I remember one time when I failed a math test, yeah Ryan and even Paul were disappointed with me, but I knew it was ok. I wasn't going to get hurt. They still love me no matter what. Honestly it really felt great of having a real family again. They knew that I was a prostitute, but Ryan was the only person that knew about Julian. I know Rose seem cold, but trust me, she was really nice before Ryan died." He smiled.

"We got engaged and things were finally looking up. Ryan promised me that he would always be there, to take care of me. At his mother's insistence, there had to be a prenup which I was ok with it. I honestly never cared about his money. I remember the lawyer telling me that out of all of the prenups that he had arranged, this was the most generous that he had ever seen. You know that house that I stay in," she said.

"Yes, that was his," Reid asked.

"Actually still is. Ryan left me the house and a trust fund in his will. However since Paul and Rose are executors of his estate, I don't have access to it. After his funeral, I relapsed. And I don't mean that I started drinking and taking pills. I was back to using cocaine again. They threw me out of the house. I lived on the streets for awhile where I stumbled into a bar. I ended up arguing with this bartender who refused to give me a drink. He kept saying, 'Darling, you don't need this. You are better than this,'" Ashley said, imitating Harry's voice.

"It took me about awhile to realize that I was arguing with Harry. It was later when I found out that the leader of the Scorpions shot Harry and left him for dead. He was mad at him for protecting me. Either way, I tried to leave the bar, if I wasn't going to get a drink, I would go somewhere else. He wrapped his arms around me and wouldn't let go," she said as she showed Reid of how Harry held her by moving her arms in front of her.

"I fought him; I kicked and screamed at him, to let me go. I screamed at him for leaving me, until I finally went limp. He carried me to his apartment upstairs and let me stay with him. He never gave me shit for doing drugs or anything like that. He didn't tell me to get sober. He just sat with me quietly."

"He knew that it was your decision of getting sober. He knew that no one can force you."

Ashley nodded. "It was next morning, over breakfast where he told me that I could stay with him, as long I didn't use drugs at his place or prostitute. If I get arrested, then I was on my own. He wasn't going to bail me out of jail."

"So did you get sober?"

"Not for another month. Darcy walked into the bar where I was. He looked at me, stood there and said nothing, but I could see the disappointment and pain in his eyes. For some strange reason, I still don't know why I did it till this day; I walked up to him and punched him."

He raised his eyebrows up, "Really." She nodded yes.

"Maybe because I was thinking that he was going to declare me mentally unfit again. I don't know. But the next morning, I checked myself into the hospital. During my treatment, a lawyer came to visit me. He handed me a letter from Paul. It said that once I was out of there, call his lawyer and make an appointment, we needed to talk." Ashley removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes, tired.

"Come, you need to rest," Reid said as he was about to get up off of the couch.

Ashley shook her no as she put her glasses back on, "No, not yet. I want to finish this, please."

"Alright, but let me get you some water," he offered. He returned to her bedroom carrying two bottles of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"I know that they only take the edge off, but it is better than nothing," he said as he opened her water bottle and then the aspirin. She swallowed the little white tablets, washing it down with the water.

"Thanks." Reid sat back down on the couch.

"I didn't call the lawyer. I didn't want to talk to Paul or Rose. Rose told me that I was a drug addict whore that was only after their money. I didn't want them to tell me that they were right. Harry gave me a job as a waitress. I started to see a shrink from the clinic where I was continued to get help for my chemical imbalance. He suggested that I should start keep a journal, just write out my feelings. I didn't like the idea of keeping a diary, but I started writing poetry, sometimes I would write letters to Charlie, Ryan, my parents, whoever. It was during my break, where I was scribbling some notes on one of those coasters. The band was finished and they were sitting, relaxing and having drinks. I left the coaster on the bar, meaning to put it away, but I was called away. The other waitress made the mistake of using the coaster when she served the drinks to the band. They read the writing on the coaster and asked me if it was alright if they put it to music. And if I had any more. When they found out that I could play and sing, they got me to join. Some time past where I was able to get my job back for teaching and those parties. I think it was a month later when Paul showed, insisting on talking to me."

"So did you?"

"He said that he heard that I got my life back together. He was disappointed that I relapsed, but he knew that I made mistakes and now I was getting my life back together, but he didn't like the idea of me staying with Harry above the bar, so he had a proposition for me. Since they had no use for the house and didn't want to sell it yet. They were still dealing with his death and didn't want to make any snap decisions. But until then, I was allowed to stay at the house and pay rent. With the understanding that if they told me to leave, I was gone. No ifs, and, or buts. I had to keep the place clean and tidy. I cannot even plant a garden without their permission. As to the trust fund, if I can agree to three conditions, I will have full access to it."

"Which were," he asked, leaning forward.

Ashley raised her hand, counting each of them with her fingers. "One, I get a steady job. Doesn't matter if I am working at a fast food place or hauling garbage. It must be legal. Two, I continued my counseling and take the medication. And three," she said, holding up her ring finger. "I stay clean and sober for at least a year."

"Wow."

"I admit at first, I wanted to stay clean and sober, just to piss Rose off because I knew that she wasn't happy about Paul setting up the arrangement."

"And now," he asked.

"Now," she said, pausing for a moment, "I like myself better now that I am clean." He smiled, gently rubbed the back of her shoulders, taking care of her wounds.

"I really don't care about the trust fund. I mean yeah, sometimes I struggled, but who doesn't. And maybe with the money, I can finally go to college and get my degree and maybe woo you."

"Woo," he asked, clearing his throat.

She leaned back into her seat, "Yeah, wooing you. Take you out to dinner in a really nice restaurant, one that doesn't use paper napkins. Instead taking you to the fast food places or making dinner for you at my place."

He moved closer to her, leaning forward and kissing her. "Honey, I don't need to be wooed. And honestly, I love having home cooked meals, it is better than any restaurant that we could go to. I don't care where you take me or where we eat, I just like spending time with you," he said as he blushed. She smiled where she kissed him again.

"Now, can you please lie down for a while?" She nodded. Reid helped her up off the couch and walked her to her bed. He pulled the pink pillows off of the bed and pulled down the covers. He helped her in.

As he bends down to undo her shoes, "You need to rest too," she said. He looked up, taking off one of her shoes.

"I can see dark rings underneath your eyes. You seen the security and I know you wouldn't let me stay if you didn't think that I was safe." He nodded, he was tired, but he needed to do a few things first.

"I will in a bit, I promise." He took off her other shoe where he set them in the closet. He stood up, facing her where he gently laid both of his hands on her shoulders.

Ashley finally slid her arms underneath his and held him tight. She started to feel that panic in her throat again, thinking of whether telling him the whole story was a good thing. She still had one more thing to tell him about Julian and she hasn't really explained about Darcy being linked to the mafia.

Ashley buried her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating. She clutched at his jacket, shutting her eyes. "Breath," she heard him. She moved her head up, looking at him.

"You are on the verge on having another anxiety attack," he whispered. She nodded yes, laying her head back down, staring at the wall. She forced herself to take deep breaths.

"Honey, I am not going anywhere, I promised." She looked at him again where Reid caressed her face. He bends his head down and kissed her.

"I am sorry that you went through all of this. But you survived and it is over."

She buried her head into his chest, sighing. "I just find it hard and incredibly scary to open myself up." She felt his fingers running through her hair.

"I know, but I am proud of you for trusting me." She finally pulled away from him, looking into his brown eyes.

"I really want you to stay with me," she whispered.

"But we both know what will happen if I do," he answered. "And I know that you respect their beliefs." He pulled her in for another hug. He really did want to crawl into bed with her, hold her.

Ashley finally let go of him. Reid helped her out of his cable sweater and then helped her lie down. He pulled the covers over her. He kissed her again before leaving her side. He laid the sweater on the arm of the couch before taking her water bottle. He set that on the nightstand beside her where he noticed that Ashley was already sleeping.

He closed the door behind him as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Special Supervisory Agent Rossi."

"It's me," he said after Rossi answered. "I got the name. I also need you to check on Darcy Edwards for me."

"Ok, is he involved with this as well," Rossi answered where Reid can hear papers being shuffled around.

"Not exactly. Ashley said that he was there when it happened. So I'm thinking we have a witness. And if he was, why isn't he coming forward?"