AN- Here it is. Much fluff in this one…
A big thanks to bsloths.
"Really?" Blair raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow from her spot at the doorframe of his bedroom, "That was very intelligent of you Humphrey. Punching a professor? Way to go."
"Please Blair…" Dan pleads, his eyes closed, his head resting on the headboard of his bed; it had been a long long day, "I've already had my Dad bust me over the incident. I don't need you to add to my misery."
He hopes she'll take the hint but he forgets that this is Blair Waldorf and you never ever, however much subtly, order her to do anything, for all she does in return is take four quick, angry step in his direction and shoving his feet to one side, she sits on the edge of his bed, "With good reasons Humphrey. Rufus should know what an idiot of a son he has brought up."
He just sighs in defeat. The last thing he needs is Blair Waldorf on his back telling him what an impulsive fool he was.
Not that Clampton had not deserved it. He had, and if Dan has another chance he will not hesitate to repeat it all over again.
And let's face it; even thought the news of it had travelled fast to the NYU authorities, the fact that it had happened outside the campus and that Lilly had had to make a few calls had ultimately resulted in him being let off with just a week's suspension.
It sure could have been a hell of a lot worse.
"You could have been expelled, Humphrey."
"But I wasn't." Dan replies shortly.
"But you could have…."
Dan sighs in irritation again; right now, in spite of the self acknowledgement that he could be, for some absolutely unacceptable, inexplicable, rotten reason, slightly crushing on her, he was getting very tired of Blair Waldorf.
"I did not get expelled Blair," he repeats one more time opening his eyes to glare at her, "in fact, had I told the dean about what Clampton was up to then he for sure would have been expelled."
"What?" Blair shrieks and Dan has to rub his ears in order to be able to hear anything ever again, "Humphrey, don't dare tell me that what happened at the New Year's party had anything to do with Rick and me. You told me yourself that you got into an argument over the social impact of Victor Hugo's Claude Gueux."
Oh! God! How could he have forgotten? He hadn't told Blair what had led to the punch, keeping it instead to a literary argument gone wrong, which Blair had reluctantly but finally bought.
However, he recovers quickly and informs her that contrary to what she believes, everything is not always about her, and that in his opinion false perceptions on literature is well worth being fired for.
He hopes that she'll drop the subject.
She does; except that he knows that it's Blair Waldorf and she never really ever drops a subject and later if not sooner he would have to give an explanation. For now though there is silence for some time and Dan goes back to resting his tired eyes, willing silently for her to leave.
"I went to see Rick at the hospital."
Dan opens his eyes instantly. Of course she did.
"Did you take flowers?"
"Actually, I did." Blair smirks up at him, but it doesn't last very long as she continues, "But he was asleep so I had to give them to his wife."
Wife?
He knew that man was a bastard, but a married bastard?
He sits up immediately, "Oh! Crap Waldorf. I'm so sorry," he says honestly.
"Yeah, well…" Blair continues, "I'm not."
"No?"
"No," she affirms, "It turns out that the idea of an affair with a professor is far cooler than actually having an affair with one."
So, forgive him for being confused. It doesn't affect Blair that Clampton was married all this while? Was she not, as he had believed her to be, in love with the professor?
She laughs a good laugh when he proposes the same to her, "In love with him? God, no Humphrey. Yes, I'm hurt because he played me, but it's not like I thought this was going to go somewhere real."
She brushes her hand slightly with his as she leans to make her point and Dan has to remind himself to exhale, "The day I fall in love Humphrey, the truly, madly deeply kind, it's going to be for far more than just a British accent and a crooked grin."
"So? Do you want to work out a vengeance plan against Clampton?"
And when had they gotten to the end of the second bottle of wine Blair had found acceptable enough to drink?
"Oh! My! I've created a scheming monster out of you Cabbage Patch."
Dan doesn't know if it's the wine or the fact that she is still sitting on his bed but he can't believe how endearing he now finds the doll nicknames.
"I'm serious Waldorf, aren't you going to do anything about Clampton?"
"What? Tell the NYU staff about how there was a teacher-student romance building up right under their noses? Oh! C'mon Humphrey, been there done that during High School, don't you think?"
Dan shakes his head at her devilish grin; Blair's never going to give up on the Miss Carr incident, is she? "Besides," she continues, "I've met his wife, trust me he has suffered enough."
Dare he think so? Had Blair Waldorf lost her scheming gene?
"And I do have more important things on my mind. I need you to figure out what's happening with Nate and Charlotte."
Apparently not.
"That…" Dan begins but shuts up when he realizes that he has nothing to say in the matter. It was more than apparent to him that Nate was just not interested but if Blair refused to see it that way then there was just so much he could do about it. "What about them?" he chooses to ask nonchalantly instead.
Blair turns to him crossly, "Charlotte called up this morning to tell me that Nate was being distant. I need to find out why."
Dan nods in understanding; that wasn't surprising, "You can't force him to like someone Blair. You tried okay. Forced, no, bribed Nate to take Charlotte out on a couple of dates. If he still doesn't like her then I think you should let it go."
"Are you kidding me, Humphrey? This is Nate Archibald we're talking about. That man needs to be told who he's in love with. He can never make up his mind on his own."
She does have a point there.
But he's afraid to ask how far she's willing to go until she realizes what a futile attempt at matchmaking this Nate-Charlotte business is going to be.
It's silly that he, a straight A student throughout school, has just been suspended from college for a week and he decides to celebrate it by taking Blair Waldorf to his favourite restaurant in all of Brooklyn.
"I repeat, my life has just been freaky fridayed…There is no way I just finished a bowl of chili potatoes in this joke of a Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn of all places."
"You have to admit that there were good though," he says as they wait outside for a cab to take her back to the UES.
"Their chef is an Indian, Humphrey…It isn't authentic Chinese if it has cloves in it."
Dan grins, the fact that he had seen her fish for last specs of crumbs on her plate had said otherwise.
"My mom used to bring me here when I was young," he admits to her and Blair looks up startled. The memory of how he had spoken quite openly about his mother to her when they didn't even know each other hitting her instantly.
She also remembers that the reason behind the admission had been to help her sort through her own problems.
Pride had stopped her then from thanking him, pride stops her now from admitting it. So she changes the subject, "Okay, now I know that besides clothes you have no taste in restaurants as well; remind me to feed you in Café Balloon the next time you're uptown."
Dan laughs and Blair can't believe how addictive the sound of his chuckle could be, "Actually, I have been there."
"Serena?"
Dan nods and she fails to diagnose the feeling she gets at not being the one to introduce her favourite restaurant in New York to him.
She shrugs offhandedly in an attempt to show her disinterest, "Enough about restaurants Humphrey. Tell me something else I don't know about you."
He looks down at her, and Blair is left admiring the detail that he is taller than most men she has dated. Oh! Why was that even a comparison? Clearly, she had had too much to drink tonight.
"I hate olives," Dan tells her. "It's now your turn."
"I love Pumpkin pies," Blair supplies readily.
"Remind me to bake you one someday," Dan says and she makes it a mental note to do just that, "I dislike Chaucer's writing."
"I don't like him either."
"I love snow."
"I know that," Blair tells him, "I helped Serena with the fake snowflakes that year." She suddenly remembers something and grins up at him, "Why, wasn't that the night you finally grew up Humphrey?"
Dan slaps his head in mock frustration and Blair takes full pride in the pale blush that tints his cheeks; she can't believe that the man could still blush even though he continues to be casual about it, "Now I know why I haven't bothered talking to you before. Being friends with your ex's best friend is never helpful."
Blair laughs along with him, "Save yourself the embarrassment Humphrey. It's not like Gossip Girl ever lets us keep any secrets."
"I'll tell you one though," he tells her and she realizes that they have not bothered to try hailing a cab a good few minutes back.
She nods at him to continue.
"You remember the Bass brunch three years back when we first met."
Blair nods, "The one in which you punched Chuck."
Dan grimaces, "Yeah…That. I do seem to have a knack for punching people, don't I?"
"Tell me about it," Blair mutters under her breath.
"Well, actually that was not the first time we had met."
"No?"
"No. It was at Thanksgiving a year before that. I ran into you and Serena on the street that day and you thought I was trying to take advantage of a drunken Serena."
Blair shakes her head in confusion, she did not have any recollection of meeting him then but she does remember a drunken Serena, "You ran into your dream girl on the street and you still manage to remember running into me. I'm flattered Humphrey."
Dan laughs and Blair has to catch her breath once again, "Well, you did accuse me of being some sort of a perverted rapist. A man tends to remember that."
"Can I tell you a secret then?" Blair asks and Dan nods, "I think Serena was her most stable, her happiest when she was with you."
An emotion she couldn't quite place passes through Humphrey's eyes as he steps in a little closer, "Can I tell you another thing you don't know about me?"
She nods, a nervous lump forming in her throat as he continues to stare right at her, "I don't prefer blondes anymore."
"But, I thought it ran in your family."
"Well, then you thought wrong."
It's exactly like the moments she sometimes dreams about, the movie like setting of a deserted pavement, the foggy night and a neon yellow cab which refuses to stop. Dan has never featured in any of them before and neither has Brooklyn and right now she wonders; why not?
"There is another thing you should know," he says softly.
"What?" she whispers back at him.
"I would really like to kiss you right now."
Blair takes a minute to reply, "I don't think I'm drunk enough for that Humphrey."
"You have a point there Waldorf. So how about I take you back to the loft and get you drunk before that?" he teases.
"Or maybe two bottles of wine does suffice as being drunk."
"You could be right. After all we're being awfully friendly tonight." Dan agrees as he takes another step closer to her, "we must be very drunk."
"Right."
"Right." He repeats as he makes the final move and fuses his lips with hers.
AN- So? Please review. Is this what you were expecting to happen with Clampton? And I know, I know, I left it almost at the same scene as the actual show but hopefully this will see an update before the 18th April! Hopefully :)