A Talk With Snape

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

It was four in the morning. Kitty was sitting on her four poster bed, her knees drawn to her chest. She was thinking about what she had seen in the pensieve back in Snape's office. She knew of course, Snape had told her that her father had been an arrogant bully. But she had never given much thought to the matter before.

And Sirius, he too had participated in bullying Snape. And Remus, the one person she had always trusted and loved almost as much as Harry, had not stopped them. Only her mother had tried to stop her father and Sirius. She remembered the look of dislike on Lily's face, when James had asked her out.

How the hell had they ended up getting married? She even thought for a moment that her father might have forced her into it…then she pushed this nasty thought to the back of her mind at once. Hadn't people like Hagrid always told her what a wonderful person her father had been?

People had always told her that she was just like her mother, Lily, both in appearance as well as in character. Harry had always been told that he was like their father. But Kitty could not ever imagine Harry dangling someone upside down just for the fun of it. And it was not as if Snape deserved it. Snape had been really nice to Kitty always. Hadn't her mother asked, 'What's he done to you?' And hadn't James replied, 'It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean.' Hadn't James started it all simply because Sirius had said he was bored?

Kitty and Harry both had been bullied in their childhood both by the kids in the neighbourhood, their cousin, Dudley, at the school in which Uncle Vernon had put them…Kitty knew exactly how it felt like to be humiliated and laughed at in the middle of a crowd. Harry and Kitty had borne humiliation until they had come to Hogwarts but at least they had had each other. Harry had protected her from Dudley and his gang whenever he could. Snape looked like he had had no friends at all…

The next day, Kitty was rather quiet when she joined Vandyll and Luna for breakfast. She even lost points in Transfiguration for dreaming and not paying attention. When the bell rang for the last class, a feeling of dread overcame her. The next class was Potions. She had always looked forward to Potions class uptil now. For a fleeting second, she knew exactly how Harry always felt before Potions class.

Gathering her books and quills, she followed Luna and Vandyll into the Potions classroom. Professor Snape was already seated there at his desk. He did not look at Kitty as she took one of the very back seats in the corner of the classroom. Kitty did not answer any of the questions Snape put to the class. She quietly brewed her Vitamix Potion in silence not quite daring to look up and meet Snape's eye.

When Snape called upon them to submit a vial of the potion for assessment, Kitty filled a vial with her brilliant violet coloured potion and went up to Snape's desk. She looked up at him when she kept the vial at his desk. Snape's expression was unfathomable. She quietly slunk away to the seat.

When the bell rang, she waited to everyone to go out and went up to Snape's desk.

'Class is over, Ms. Potter,' he said stiffly.

'I know, I just wanted to…um…I'm really sorry about…about what I did, back in your office the other day,' said Kitty eyeing Snape apprehensively.

Snape did not answer. His eyes were boring into Kitty's.

'Tell me,' he said at last, 'What tempted you to look into the pensieve, when you knew I had not wanted some of my thoughts to be accessed by both of you?'

Kitty hesistated. 'Um, well Harry started saying that maybe there was evidence in there about you being in league with Voldemort and he sort of plunged his head into it. I tried to stop him, I swear. But the moment I grabbed his arm to pull him out, we fell head first into the pensieve.'

Snape looked at her with narrowed eyes.

'I um… well,' said Kitty, 'I'm sorry my father… he er…'

'Don't repeat it,' Snape snarled and Kitty took a step backward in fright.

'Well, professor,' she began again, 'What I'm trying to say is…'

'Get to the point fast,' said Snape irritably.

'Um, please don't be mad at me, sir. I feel bad about what I did and trust me, I didn't sleep all night because I couldn't stop thinking how my father, how he treated you. And Sirius and Remus too, they didn't—they didn't— ' Kitty spluttered, bursting into tears.

'Kitty!' said Snape, looking shocked, 'There's nothing to cry about! Dry your tears, child. I'm not mad at you.'

'But—but you, I…' said Kitty, sobbing uncontrollably. Snape had knelt down to her level, and was wiping her tears and patting her on the head.

'Stop crying Kitty,' said Snape firmly, but not unkindly.

Kitty gave a sob and looked at Snape through her tear stained eyes. 'You're not angry, any more?'

'No,' said Snape getting to his feet briskly, 'I'm not.'

'Um,' said Kitty, 'Can I then ask you something?'

'Of course,' said Snape.

'Well, you told me that you and Mum used to be friends. But when Mum tried to stop Dad and Sirius, you…you called her a…a…mudblood,' said Kitty.

Snape stiffened. 'Well, we did used to be friends. But then, we were sorted into different houses and she made other friends. I used to hate your Dad and his friends. Alas, I regret to say I still do. And I thought Lily was friends with them, so I sort of reacted...it was not right of me to do so of course,' said Snape.

'It was,' said Kitty, 'after what my father did.'

'Look,' said Snape, 'Much as I disliked your father, I would not like it if his daughter, Lily's daughter,' he sighed, 'grew up hating her father. We were young. We never lost a chance to hex each other. Your father,' (Snape bore a painful expression) 'did grow up, even though it was quite late.'

'And,' continued Kitty, 'what about my mother? She used to hate my father. How did they end up married? Dad did not…he did not force her into it, did he?'

Kitty did not know it but an internal battle was raging in Snape's heart. A part of him was itching to spite James Potter. This topic was very tender to him.

'No,' said Snape, with the same pained expression, 'he did not force her. She started going out with him in our seventh year, if I'm not mistaken,' (Snape knew he wasn't) 'And soon after our graduation, they got married.'

'Were you at their wedding?' asked Kitty eagerly. This was getting to be too much for Snape.

'No,' said Snape forcefully, 'no, your mother did invite me, but…but I was not in town that day.'

Kitty looked away disappointed. 'So, you're definitely not giving Harry any more Occlumency lessons?'

'No,' said Snape abruptly, 'I'm not. But you can continue coming if you want.'

Kitty at once made up her mind that she would continue learning Occlumency so that she could pass some of the knowledge to Harry.

'So,' she said, 'So, I'll be going now.'

Snape nodded and walked her to the door. When she had left, he took a deep breath, dried his eyes on his black robes and sat down to grade some seventh year essays.

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