I do not own Criminal Minds. And my thanks to my sister for being my beta.

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Chapter #62

Reid carried her in silence all the way back to the hotel room. Ashley buried her head in his shoulder, blocking out the light and the stares from people. She kept her head buried as Reid carried her back to the room. She felt something brushing along her feet where she look up, seeing that he walked past the make shift curtain in the bedroom.

He sat her down on the side of the bed where he saw her bleeding foot. He could see the glass sticking out of it. He looked up where he saw her looking back at him with her long hair in front of her, covering her face. He reached up, gently tucking her hair in the back of her ears. He wiped her tears with his thumbs, giving her a smile.

He ducked into the bathroom where he pulled a few sheets of toilet paper and a towel. He took two sheets for himself and gave the rest to his girlfriend to dry her eyes with. He then folded the towel and placed it on the floor. "Here, try to put pressure on it, I will be right back," he said as he guided her injured foot to the towel. Ashley tried to put pressure, but the glass even dug deeper.

He left her alone where he went to pick up his messenger bag. He stuffed the toilet paper inside mouth and started chewing. He held up his finger to everyone else, signaling them to give him a moment first. He started digging into his bag, pushing papers and such around until he found another zip-lock bag. He pulled it out and spat the chew up toilet paper inside the bag. He held it out for Dr. Grant.

"Here is my DNA. I'm sorry that it is not what you were expecting, but I don't have any q-tips in my bag," he explained. "Ashley is not going to do the rape kit."

"But, she needs to do it if she wants to press charges."

"She said that she wasn't raped. And I believe her."

Then he directed his attention to everyone else. "Give me about twenty minutes to take care of her and then we can figure out of what we are going to do," Reid said as he was about to turn around and head back to the bedroom.

"No," Rossi said, standing up from his seat. "You are emotionally involved in this case, you need to take care of her and let us do our job."

"But," Reid said, trying to come up with reasons of helping.

"But what. You said so yourself, she wasn't raped. Right now, we don't have anything. Garcia has gone through the tapes, and she said there was a malfunction on the tapes and it doesn't show the attack, only Darcy carrying her out of the hospital. So unless she tells us her story or you tell us what her son have to do with this, there is nothing we can do," Rossi explained, pointing to Darcy with his last sentence.

Darcy raised his eyebrows up the older agent, where he had this stone face on. "And I told you before I am not going to betray her trust. And if she doesn't trust me, how the hell can I can protect her then."

Reid knew that he was right. Darcy was one of the three people that she trusted with her life and like it or not, she needed his protection, despite it being organized crime.

"And you honestly think I have been sitting here and twiddling my thumbs for the last ten years. Trust me, I have been looking for Charlie," Darcy continued.

"Oh goody, a pissing match," Reid heard Ashley from behind. He found her leaning against the doorway with her foot still bleeding. "Mr. Rossi, I know you mean well, but Darcy is right. If he breaks his word to me, I won't be able to trust him and as much as I hate to say it, I need the mafia's help. He has been looking for my son for almost ten years and lets just say," she said, pausing, trying to think of how to explain it without getting Darcy into any more trouble.

"He doesn't follow the FBI's protocol. He hasn't found him. Now what makes you think that you can find my son?" Rossi was about to answer him.

"Second, I don't know of how to put it nicely, but I am exhausted and sore, so screw manners. A few weeks ago, Spencer told me that he was told that he was no longer on the case when my house exploded. In fact, so were you, right?"

Rossi was about to answer her again, but Ashley continued, "So all of you are going to disobey your orders? I am not going to let you jeopardize your careers, reputation, or your pensions. And from your custom-made shirts and leather shoes, I know you have money. And I have a feeling that you want to stick it to your supervisors. But what about everyone else? If you want to catch Julian, do it without me, I am not going to testify. Now saying that, I am tired and I really want to have a shower and go to bed and try to forget this day. Stay if you want, I really don't care anymore," she said, tiredly. Then disappearing behind the curtain.

"Ashley," Reid called. He was quiet during that time, listening to his girlfriend. He followed her, seeing her rubbing her eyes. Her contracts were starting to dry out on her. Ashley continued to limp and ran her hands through her copper brown hair, pushing it away from her face and setting it over her left shoulder.

"Holy shit, I just pissed off your family." He shook his head no.

"But what I said about trust is true. Once someone breaks my trust, it is very hard for me to trust that person again. It is like me telling everyone things that you confided in me. You won't trust me anymore." She landed on the bed with a flop, face down. Reid sat down beside her, rubbing her back.

"It has been a long day and we are all tired and edgy. Things will be clearer in the morning once we all get some rest," he suggested. She sighed through the blankets.

"Can I please have a shower before another bad thing happens," she whined as she rested her chin on top of the bed.

"How about a bath instead? Then I will take care of your foot," he offered.

"Hold still," Reid said with a small flashlight in his mouth. He was bending down in front of the giant tub, wearing latex gloves. He held Ashley's foot with one hand and tweezers with his other. He carefully picked out the remaining pieces of glass from her foot. Ashley sat in the tub filled with water and bubbles. Reid noticed of how Ashley crossed her arms in front of herself, covering her breasts as if she was ashamed of herself.

He found the bubble bath along with other stuff that she brought from the drugstore when they got a refill of her medication from the pharmacy in her bag before he had to go to California. He knew that she had plan to drop them off tonight at his place.

"How did this happen," she finally asked. "I know it happened this morning, while you, Derek and me were all sitting at the table having pancakes. Then we made love and you stayed behind to clean up while I went to work. I know it happened today, but it honestly feels like it happened a long time ago."

Reid shrugged his shoulders, which in truth that he did know and was about to explain it to her, but he could see the exhaustion her face and he just wanted to get her cleaned up and get her in bed.

"I was looking forward to tonight. I didn't care if we had sex or not. I mean it would have been great. But I would have been perfectly fine that we just hung out, watched TV, read, play cards or you finally teaching me how to play chess. I just wanted to spend that time with you," she said."

"So did I," he answered. He picked out the last piece of glass then he pressed her foot against a towel. She hissed.

"Sorry, I want to stop the bleeding," he explained.

"Is it bleeding bad?"

He shook his head no, then taking the towel off. "No, it stopped, but once you are out of the tub, I am going to put a bandage on it." He stood up, peeling off his gloves. He didn't throw in the trash, knowing that he has to use them again to bandage up her wound.

"Instead I was arrested for drug smuggling, and Rose tried to kill me at the police station, sent me to the hospital where Julian came to see me. Next thing I know, I was in a room, sitting beside the film projector, watching the entire event."

Automatically Reid start to explain, "It is called Disassociation, a form of self-hypnosis. Everyone has the ability like daydreaming, zoning out and going on auto-pilot." Then he stopped, looking at her. This would have been when she would kiss him, but since she wasn't doing that, told him that this was bad.

There were three plastic cups covered in plastic piled one of top of each other sitting in the corner of the sink. He unwrapped one of them, pulling it out of its plastic wrap.

As he toss the plastic wrapping into the trashcan, "I'm sorry for flipping you over. I'm sorry for taking your wallet and your phone," she said.

"It's alright. You were scared," he explained as he turned around, holding the cup in his hand.

Ashley drew in a deep breath, holding her nose tight as she dove underneath the water. She emerged, wiping her wet hair back. She turned around so her back was facing her boyfriend. Reid poured a generous amount of the hotel shampoo in his hand and gently started washing her hair. Ashley looked down in the water, raising her knees up where he felt her tensing up. Her hip was still bothering her. Again, she covered herself with her hands.

This is Spencer, why am I feeling embarrassed by this? He is just helping me, not interested in sex with me right now.

Reid could see her discomfort. "It is OK," he tried to assure her. "You don't need to feel bad, you didn't do anything bad."

Ashley slowly brought her legs down, releasing the pain in her hips, but she had her arms folded in front of herself.

"I have some aspirin in my bag," he offered.

"Thank you, but no. I can't take anything on an empty stomach."

There was a few moments of silence before she spoke again. "Julian can do anything he wants to me, just as long he doesn't hurt you."

"And that would hurt me even more," he replied, gently resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm still working on that," she admitted. Reid started to massage her neck and shoulders, trying to make her feel better.

"He is . . . this is what you call descending, eh . . . degrading," she said waving her finger in front of herself as if she was trying to point to the right word.

"De-evoling. I'm afraid so," he said. From that moment, Ashley started sliding down and would have fallen underneath the water if Reid didn't lean in to grab her arm.

Except he lost his balance, falling in the water, nearly taking Ashley with him. Water splashed around them as Reid landed on his back underneath the water. His feet were still sticking over the edge.

He saw Ashley sitting back up, taking his arm, trying to get him to sit up. He pushed himself up from underneath the water, wiping the water from his face, pushing his hair back. This would have been a funny moment between them, if circumstances were difference, which they weren't.

Reid ignoring that he was sitting in the tub fully dressed, "Not again," he muttered to himself. Ashley looked at him, wondering of what he was talking about.

He looked at his girlfriend, he touched her face. She leaned closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I got you," he said. He started to rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. He didn't know how much time had passed, but he knew that they should finish soon.

"Honey, why don't we finish here and we can go to bed, alright." She nodded, reluctantly letting go of him.

Reid grabbed the cup that was already floating in the water. He turned around to start rinsing her hair, but saw Ashley already bending underneath the taps, already rinsing her hair. He gave a little shrug, wondering of why didn't he think of that. He set the cup on the edge of the tub.

"If the circumstances were different, this would have nice," she said, indicting about them being in the tub together. She straightened out back, wringing out her hair.

He gave a small smile, "This is nice right now," he said, touching her shoulder. She gave a small smile, looking down at the water.

"You are sitting here with your clothes on, saying something about not again, and I feel like my life is falling apart. Not to mention, I know Darcy is with his goons in the other room and I have no idea who else is out there. How is this nice," she asked, looking at him.

"Come here," he said where she leaned closer to him. He pulled her on his lap as he leaned back on the tub. Ashley rested her head on his shoulder and he cradled her in his arms as if she was a small child. He rested his chin against her forehead.

"The reason I said that is because a few years ago, when we were in Los Angeles, I fell into a pool by accident with my clothes on." He explained, not going into details. Even with his little experience with girlfriends, he knew that it wasn't a good time to tell Ashley about his time with Lila.

"And your life may seem like it is falling apart, but it is not, I promise." He could see doubt in Ashley. He held her for a few minutes and she wrapped her arms around his body, holding him tight.

"Did you manage to go to your meeting," she asked, trying to change the topic.

"Not really, it was starting when you called me. But since you were not using your own phone, I almost didn't pick up."

She smiled, "I'm glad that you did, except you needed to be there."

He looked down, gently touching her face, kissing her. "I'm OK now. The cravings are still there and they will still be there for the rest of my life. But I don't want to use today," he answered her honestly. The truth of it, even though he wanted to be sober for the rest of his life, he couldn't tell if he would or not. He couldn't predict the future.

"Honey, why don't I get out of the tub, get out of these wet clothes and then I will help you out of the tub," he suggested. She nodded as she climbed off of his lap.

Reid slowly climbed out of the tub, making sure that he was stepping on a towel. He made a skating motion as he walked across the bathroom. He knew the minute he stepped on the floor, he would slip and knowing how this night was turning out, he would probably end up having a concussion, spending a night at the hospital.

He grabbed the hotel robe, laying it on the counter. He noticed that Ashley was facing away from him. He started to peel off his wet clothes, looking for a place to put them. He saw the shower stall next to the tub.

"There is something that you need to know," Ashley said quietly. Reid didn't say anything, he waited for her to continue. He dropped his shirt and his pants in the stall which landed with a wet plop. He will deal with them later.

"When I was in the ER, a nurse came by. She assumed that I was someone else. She left to get my chart, leaving her chart and a syringe full of muscle relaxers." Reid froze, not sure of what to say or do.

"I just wanted that syringe, that drug. It would have been so easy. That deal was gone. I wanted to feel numb again. I just wanted to forget this whole night."

He piled the rest of his wet clothes in the shower stall, not expecting her confession. He assumed that she was finally going to tell him about Julian's connection with her son. Still, this was huge.

He tied the robe tight as he knelt by the tub. He placed his hand on the far wall, careful not to fall in again. He looked directly at her.

"But you didn't," he said in a hopeful voice.

"That was because Julian interrupted me. Doc, if he didn't show, I would have used that needle on myself." He didn't say anything, but wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to himself.

"Are the cravings getting stronger," he asked, now afraid what her answer would be.

"Yes, I really want a nice thick line of cocaine and chase it down with a shot of whiskey. This sobriety sucks," she whined.

"We will get through it," he assured her in a quiet voice.

In a way, he probably would understand if she had managed to use that syringe. Granted, he would be upset, but he would be there for her, to help her get through it and get sober again.

"There is another meeting tomorrow, we can to it together," he offered. She leaned her head back, resting on his body.

"But it is not a cop one, you can't talk about your cases," she said.

He kissed her cheek, "I know, but that is OK. We both need to go to one, alright." She nodded.

Reid helped her to stand up where she almost fell when she put weight on her bum leg again. "Lean on me," he whispered. She placed her arms around his neck, shifting all of her weight onto her good leg and on her boyfriend.

"One, two, three," he counted as he lifted her out of the tub. He carefully set her down, guiding her to the toilet to sit on the closed lid. Wrapping her up with several towels, he knelt down in front of her.

Reid knew that Ashley was going to volunteer the secret, he would have to press her. He really didn't want to do that, but he knew that he had no choice.

Darcy may end up telling him what was going on which would hurt her or Morgan and Rossi would be questioning her and he had no doubt in his mind that they would make things much worst.

He gently kissed her, touching her face with his hand and whispered, "Hey, I love you. I love you for your free spirit and I love you for your passion of life."

She looked at him with her emerald-green eyes. "And I love you for keeping me grounded and I love you for being normal," she replied back.

He drew in a deep breath. "I didn't know you years ago, after you left Julian," he started to say.

"Doc, I didn't leave him. He threw me out of the window and dumped me at the hospital," she corrected him.

Reid closed his eyes, looking down. He tried again. "I didn't know you back then, but I do know you right now, right at this precise moment. Things are much different now. You are a very strong woman," he said as he ran his fingers through her tangle wet hair.

Ashley looked at him, giving him a snort. He realized that she was thinking that she wasn't strong physically if he, Harry or someone else had to open her water bottle or he had to open her pill bottles for her.

"I am talking about emotionally strong. Despite the fact that you tried, tried," he said, stressing the last word, pointing to her.

"You didn't use the muscle relaxer, despite Julian's appearance. The point is, that you still have your sobriety." He paused, sensing Ashley's discomfort. He knew that she knew that something was up.

"You said that if you had to testify, his lawyers would tear you apart. But you also said that you recently became sober. Right now, you have been sober for nine months." Ashley was about to say something, but Reid wouldn't let her speak.

"And yes, I know that you said that it was your word of a drug addict whore against the diplomat and unfortunately it still is. But things are much different now."

"No, it is not," she argued. "It hasn't even been a year since I stopped prostituting. That will be brought up and it will be on open record."

She twisted her body, trying to leave when Reid placed his arm on the counter, blocking her way.

"So," he said in a matter of fact tone. She stared at him hard where he knew that she was getting angry at him.

"It is bad enough that your family knows that I am a former drug addict diplomatic whore. Oh and I just royally pissed them off tonight. I don't want the whole fucking world know. Parents will not want me to teach their children. That is assuming that I still have that job there."

Reid held his ground, drawing in another deep breath. She was definitely picking a fight with him, a fight that she hoped he would get mad and leave her.

"Ashley, Julian is de-evoling. If you don't press charges, he will still be free to visit America and you. And you know that he will get worse and worse, to the point where he will kill you or kill me. You really want that?"

By then, his calm demeanor was almost gone, and he hated himself for pushing her. But he knew that he must. This was the only way for finding out the truth.

"And I told you that he can do whatever he wants, as long as he leaves you alone."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you honestly believe that. He will leave me, my mother, Harry, everyone else that we love and care about, alone?" Ashley gazed down to his chin, not saying anything.

"Honey, if you press charges, at least his diplomatic immunity will be taken away and he will no longer be an immediate threat to you. That will put everyone out of immediate danger and give you time to prepare for court. You can finally have that boring life, you want."

"I can't," she pleaded. She tried to get off the toilet set again, but Reid held her by her arms.

"Honey, I will take a leave of absence or even resign from the BAU to be with you every step of the trial. You can't live like this anymore," he said.

Ashley shook her head, where he can see tears forming. She struggled some more as Reid held on tight.

"I can't. He has him," she screamed at him as she kicked him in his groin and pushed him away from her.

Reid tumbled backwards, hitting the wall with his body. He bit his lower lip in pain, and resisted the urge to place his hand down there.

"Julian has my son," she said in a calm voice.