I do not own Criminal Minds and my thanks to my sister and Chris for being my betas.

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Chapter #64

Ashley walked around in the mall, looking at window displays, deciding on whether or not to go in.

"Yo, ma," her son called out.

She rolled her eyes, "Yo," she asked herself, not believing that he just said that. She turned around, seeing a young boy with dark hair that was spike with green tips. He was dressed as one of those skater's kids that she had seen with the black clothes and baggy pants. He held a skateboard in his hand. She knew that it was her son.

He was standing in the food court, with his other skater friends. It was no doubt that he was going to ask for some money. Nevertheless, she smiled at him as she made her way over to him.

Then she opened her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. She turned her head to see Reid sleeping beside her. He had his arms wrap around her, holding her close to his body, protecting her as he slept.

"Fuck," she muttered, realizing that she was dreaming about her son again.

She carefully crawled out of bed, against trying to put some weight on her bum leg when she quickly found out that she couldn't by the shearing pain. She bit her lower lip and quietly hissed.

She found her glasses on the nightstand besides Reid's. Their bags were at the entrance. She limped over to her bag and dug out a pair of jeans.

Afterward she pulled the curtain back, seeing Morgan sleeping in a chair with his feet propped up on the coffee table. Darcy was also sleeping in the other chair which was next to her.

She raised her eyebrows at the fact that no one took the couch, it would have been much more comfortable than the chairs. Her back twinge in sympathy pain for the both of them.

She touched her best friend's shoulder and he moved his head, looking up at her. He smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered. He stood up, taking her hand.

"Come on," he whispered. He was about to lead her out when he soon saw that she was limping. He wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her out of the room.

His bodyguard stood outside, guarding. He was about to follow them when Darcy shook his head at him. He led Ashley down the hall, away from the guard. There were two chairs at the end of the hall where he sat her in one and he took the other one.

"How come every time I am in trouble, you are always there to rescue me?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Just once, I would like to get myself out of trouble."

She leaned back, then looking around the hall to see if there was anyone else around. "Is it safe to talk," she whispered, leaning close to him. He nodded.

"You know that I love you and I would do anything to protect you."

He nodded again, looking more solemn now. "And I would do the same for you."

"Then why don't I tell you go ahead. Take care of him, make him tell you where Charlie is and make him disappear," she said with her voice thick with emotion.

Darcy leaned forward, "Because that is not you," he said, reaching inside of his jacket. He pulled out a handkerchief, giving it to her. She held it in her hands.

"Please," she started to stay when Darcy quickly covered her mouth his hand in one quick movement, almost scaring her.

"Don't," he warned. "Don't go there. Don't cross that line."

She pulled his hand down. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep looking over my shoulder. I can't pretend to have a brave face and be scared at the same. I want to have a normal boring life." Then there was silence between the two friends, a silence that was eerie.

Ashley spoke again. "I sometimes wonder if it is worth it. We know he is dead, we know that his soul is in heaven. His body is just an empty shell."

She looked at him. "Like look at the prices that we both paid," she said, waving her right index finger between them.

"You sold your soul to the devil and look where it got you," she said, referring the devil as the mafia.

"I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel like I am losing myself and my sanity. So it is worth it to find his body?"

Darcy took her hand, holding it with both of his hands. "Because we can give him a proper burial. Because we both desperately need that closure," he whispered.

Tears ran down her face and she didn't bother to wipe them away. "I just don't know how long I can do this. I just don't know how long I can live like this." She pulled her hand away, leaning back in her seat. She glanced at Darcy who was now looking at her with concern. On her face was the same look that he gave her when he saw her at the hospital years ago.

"You have the same look now," she replied.

"What look," he said.

"The look that you had before you sent me away," she said, staring straight at the end of the hall before closing her eyes.

"Do I need a reason to," he asked. Ashley didn't answer him. She couldn't. She bent her head down, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Spencer and I talked about him moving in with me once the house was done. He first wanted me to move in with him at his place, but his apartment doesn't allow dogs." She looked at Darcy who raised his eyebrows up and giving her a hopeful smile.

She smiled back, leaning forward. "Right now, I have this voice inside of my head. Actually two. One is Julian telling me that he is going to kill Reid. But anyway," she said, waving her hand, dismaying that one for now.

"The second one is my mother's."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah her, whom I haven't spoken to in years. But yet, she is telling me it is too soon. We only been dating for almost three months now," she said as she stood up. She was about to pace when her hip seized in pain. She fell back into her seat, hissing, rubbing it.

"Careful," he warned. She normally paced when she needed to vent or think and this time she couldn't.

"Anyway I am wondering if my house didn't blow up, would we be at this same stage? Having mind-blowing, fantastic sex, God, I hope so," she continued.

Darcy blinked his eyes, shaking his head. "That is a little too much information for me," he said.

"I am OK with him leaving his toothbrush, razor and some of his clothes at my place and vice versus." She tried to straightened out her leg, taking some of the weight off.

"However," Darcy said, knowing that she wasn't done.

"However, when I slept over at his place, I was comfortable, happy and safe. I hate to use the word, perfect, but it was," she said, using her fingers as quotations when she said 'perfect'.

"And I know that this sound strange, but with this night," she said, waving her hand in front of her. "When Spencer goes out-of-town, I will be able to have me time, which is good in a strange sort of way."

Darcy nodded, understanding her. "So what is stopping you. I have an apartment in my building that is free and you and Dr. Reid can stay along with that shoe chewing mutt," he offered. She looked at him hard. She knew that he meant well, but with both Reid and his career, that would definitely be awkward.

"I have a lunatic who believes that I still belong to him. And wherever I end up, you are always going to be welcome. How is that going to work if we moved in together."

She bowed her head, "Why couldn't it just be simple," she whined. She felt her shoulder being squeeze.

"Because you are making it complicated."

She leaned back in her seat once again. "And this isn't complicated?" She let out a small laugh.

"I honest thought that yesterday or the day before," she said, leaning over to her friend. She pulled his sleeve back, looking at his watch.

"The day before," she said, seeing it was after midnight. "Spencer came over two nights ago in a real bad shape. He saw someone's head being blown off by a shotgun," she said quietly. Darcy cringed.

"He was coming out of shock, and so close to getting high. But he got through it and kept his sobriety." She smiled, proud of him.

"After I put him to bed, I watched him. I watched him sleep. Bailey even crawled in bed with him. He wouldn't let me get in bed with him." Darcy laughed.

"It's true, I have pictures on my cell phone, I will have to show you one day. Then yesterday morning, Derek came over and we had pancakes."

"Your banana pancakes." She nodded where he smiled.

"We told him that we are there for him. After breakfast, Spencer told me to lie down, they would clean up. Derek even suggested of us going out on a double date. A real double date that we would probably go to dinner together or bowling, whatever. I know it sounds corny, but I have never been on a real double date. I mean I have when I was with Julian, but that usually involved drug binges and orgies. But this one made me happy. Made me feel like a normal, boring person."

Darcy smiled, "It is not corny," he encouraged.

"And I knew that Spencer was OK. We got through this and we even planned on having a boring night together after my class and his NA meeting." She ran her hands through her hair, pulling it away from her face.

"This is why I don't make plans," she said, exhausted. She rested her head back of her seat, looking up at the ceiling. She started to count the dots on the ceiling when he said.

"I booked the room for you for two days," he said. "With the option of booking more days if you need to. And I don't want you to worry about how you can pay for it, we can talk about that later."

She nodded, letting out a yawn. "I dreamed about him tonight," she started to say.

"Please," Darcy said. She turned her head where she could see something that she rarely see in him. Vulnerability.

"Please don't," he said.

"But they know, don't they?" He nodded where she closed her eyes, sighing.

"Sweetheart, this is good. I have heard that they have the highest rate in solving cases. You have to give them a chance, please," he said, giving her a puppy dog look.

She smiled, laughing quietly as she covered her mouth. "Oh ghee, you have to give me that look? You must be tired."

"I am."

"I know that Spencer had to know. He had to know what he is facing and give him the chance to walk away."

"Which he didn't," he pointed out.

"Then how come I feel like I have done the worst possible thing." She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

"Sweetheart, it has been a long and very crazy day. You are exhausted and stressed," he explained. Ashley put her glasses back on, knowing that he was right. The door opened and Reid popped his head out, looking around. He saw them sitting where Ashley gave him a small wave. He nodded and went back inside.

She sighed, "How did we not know that Julian was back," she asked, after a few moments.

"I found out this morning that he arrived last night. I tried calling you this morning, but got your voice-mail," he started to explained when Ashley remembered why she didn't answer her phone.

She coughed. "I was kinda busy." Darcy got her hint.

"Alright, I was going to meet you after class to give you a heads up. Then I found out about the arrest. I was on my way when I heard that you were rushed to the hospital. That was when I found you with Julian," he explained.

He stopped when Ashley leaned forward, closing her eyes again. She felt her best friend rubbing the back of her shoulders, comforting her.

"Sweetheart, he didn't." She knew that he was right, but now she really wished that she had taken the drug.

"While it was happening, I knew that the guard was coming back. And Spencer and Hotch were coming or that nurse coming back because she was getting my chart. So I kept stalling, but at the same time, praying that Spencer wouldn't find me like that. Instead you did," she said.

"It's OK," he assured her.

"I got to ask, how much trouble are you in," she asked, straightening her back out.

He looked at her, not understanding her. She pressed her nose to one side, with her right finger.

He then straightened himself up, giving her a strange look. "You still haven't got your memory back, have you," he asked. She knitted her eyebrows together, shaking her head no. He smiled, shaking his finger at her.

"OK, we need to talk about that later. Why don't you think that I am in trouble with them?"

"Because you have been talking and cooperating with Fozzie." Ashley could see him suppressing a smile, trying not to laugh.

"What," she asked.

"Sorry, it is just late and I am tired. Don't worry about that. They all know that we are good friends and you happen to be dating a FBI agent. They also know that I never had or will discuss any of my business with you. They know that Dr. Reid or his team are not in the Organized Crime division. They also know about Charlie. Don't worry about it, alright? Come, let's go back," he answered.

He was about to get up when Ashley touched his hand, stopping him. "Actually, I need to ask you one more thing," she said. He sat back down.

"I am going to need a lawyer, a good one," she said.

She could see the realization on his face. "You don't know, don't you," he said.

"Apparently not," she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"The charges against you were dropped."

"What, but the drugs," she said in a surprise voice.

It was Darcy's turn to shrugged his shoulders. "All I know is that the charges against you were dropped and Rose is now charged with assault. You are going have to talk to Dr. Reid about this." She leaned back into her seat, looking up at the ceiling again.

"Sweetheart, you might need a lawyer to get your trust fund. The contract is invalid now. But we will deal with it later," she heard him.

She nodded her head, "I just like to know what I did wrong that I am no longer allowed back at the Ashburton's."

Now for some bad news. I have one more beta chapter left to post, but it will not be posted for about two weeks. I am going on holiday which I will not be bringing my computer with me, only a notebook and I mean one of those paper notebooks, not computer. I am hoping by the time I get home, I will have some more story written out.

So Enjoy and I will see you when I get back!