After I'd cried myself exhausted, Brendan carried me to my bed, wrapping a towel around me.
He sat with me for a while before speaking, "… Are ye ready to talk, Steven"
I shook my head, "No…"
"Steven… look at yeh… who did this, Steven?"
"N-no one… I'm fine, Bren…"
"No, no Steven, don't lie to me." He pushed a string of hair from my face, "Somebody hurt you, Steven. Tell me who, I'll sort them out…"
I shook my head again, "I… I got mugged, alright…" suddenly, a story began spilling out of my mouth, "I was coming home and these guys jumped me, they couldn't find my phone… so they beat me up."
"… Is that the truth, Steven?"
I nodded, "Yes… I just want to forget it, okay?"
Brendan didn't speak for a moment, "… Then what were yeh doing trying to boil yehself alive in the shower, then?"
I paused, "… I don't know."
Brendan sighed, "If yeh don't tell me… I can't help ye…"
"Leave me alone!" My voice rose, "You're not my dad so just… stop!"
"… I never thought I was your dad… I never want to be…"
"Then what are you… what am I to you?"
"… You are… the single most important thing in my world, Steven." He was looking down, "Look… when I was sixteen I was at this party… your mother was there. She was smart, attractive, had a future. We were friends, well… sort of. I left early, I hated parties. She left about ten… a bunch of guys followed her…"
I stared at him, I knew my mother had been raped but… this…
"She found out she was pregnant a few weeks later. She told me… nobody else. Her parents kicked her out and she moved into this council house. The one she lives in now. I… didn't hear from her for years. I found her address… went to see how she was and… found you." He exhaled deeply, "I felt responsible… so I took you in."
I couldn't find my voice for several moments, "… S-so… I'm just… I'm your guilty burden, is that it?"
"No, Steven, no. I never thought of you like that. I brought you in as a favour to your mother, but… then you grew up, and… I just can't imagine life without yeh, Steven." He turned to meet my gaze, "Steven… I love yeh."
I sighed softly, "I know… in a father-son… weird kind of way, right?"
He shook his head, "No, Steven…" He whispered.
I barely had time to respond before Cheryl's footsteps came hammering up the stairs, "Guys? I heard crying…" She walked in and gasped, "Oh, Ste! Babe, what happened to you!"
"He had a nasty fall in the shower, Cheryl." Brendan explained, "Didn't ye?"
I nodded.
"Oh, love, I really must put down a mat in there. Do you know how many times I've almost fallen in there? Almost three!" She exclaimed as she left the room, muttering about mats and something inaudible.
When she was out of earshot I turned back to Brendan, "You… lied…"
"You'll tell me the truth when you're ready, Steven." He said as he stood, "I've got to go, meeting a supplier."
I stared at him, "You… you can't just leave! Just say that, a-and leave!"
"You know what happened to your mother, Steven."
"Not that…"
He sighed, "Life is too short to dwell on the small things, Steven. Try not to over think everything." And with that he was gone, and I didn't see him again for the rest of the weekend.
Monday came and school started as normal. Cheryl had to drive me as Brendan was sleeping off an apparent hangover.
First lesson was English… with Doug.
He dropped his bag and sat down next to me, "Hey, Ste. Not heard from you in a week! How was your birthday?"
Doug was probably the only person in the whole school he seemed to vaugly like me. By default that made him my best friend, "Yeah, alright, thanks."
"Y-yeah, so, erm… I was meaning to ask you if you were planning on… you know, d-doing anything for it?"
"Nowt planned."
"Well… why don't we do something? After school?"
I stared at him, "My birthday was a week ago…"
"Call it a late present, then."
"Are… are you asking me out?"
He grinned, "So… what if I am?"
I blinked, "Wow."
"Wow what?"
"You?"
"Yeah."
"You're…"
"American?"
"Doug…"
"I'm kidding!" He nudged my arm, "Well… I am, yeah. And so are you. We're both single, so… why not?"
"Why not? How romantic."
"Shut up." He laughed, "So… you haven't given me an answer…"
Before I could speak, I felt something vibrating in my pocket. In was my phone, with a call coming through. From an unknown number.
I gestured to it, "I… I gotta take this…" I explained, rushing out the classroom, ignoring my teacher's protests.
I pressed the phone to my ear, "Hello?"
"I don't like the way Brady looks at you, Steven." Came that familiar voice.
"… What do you mean?" I asked shakily.
"Don't tell me you can't see it… I've been observing you all very closely. That look… he just wants to throw you against the wall and fuck you bloody."
"No… he doesn't." I protested, though my heart was giving weird little leaps, "Brendan doesn't see me like that."
"Are you arguing with me?"
"No…"
"Good boy. There's a car outside, go get into it."
"I… I can't… I'm in school!"
"You're arguing with me…"
"N-no, I'm…" I stammered, checking the corridor, "… okay, I'll be there…"
"Good boy." He hung up.
As I stumbled home, pain radiating from between my legs, my gaze was once again drawn towards my mum's house. So, she knew where I was. She knew, yet she never once even attempted to contact me. I suppose I couldn't blame her… it was no wonder she hated me. She looked at me, and all she saw was one of those men. Maybe if I'd been a girl… would have things been different? Would I have looked like her or just a female version of one of her attackers?
But then again… I'd have never met Brendan…
That struck a chord.
I couldn't quite understand why, but suddenly… I couldn't get Brendan out of my mind. My feelings towards him hadn't changed but… the way I looked at them had. All this time I looked at him and saw a father, a mentor. But he wasn't. He was my saviour. I thought I saw a father but I hadn't! I saw a saviour, a friend, and… something else which wasn't clear to me until now.
I couldn't understand why, but I was pretty sure that I was completely in love with Brendan Brady.
Putting on a brave face I eased open the door, "Hello?"
"Steven?" Brendan rounded a corner into the room, "You're home early."
"Y-yeah… half day." I lied, "Still hungover?"
"A little." He shrugged, falling back onto the couch, "Oh, forgot to tell yeh, Cheryl's gone away with Lyndsay for a little 'girls holiday'."
"Really?" I sat down, very slowly, "When will they be back?"
"Sunday."
"Oh…"
Brendan gave a small grin, "Looks like it's just the two of us."