Chapter Thirty

After ten minutes, Derek walked out of the room and headed upstairs and Jessie walked to the back room. The smell of beef stew hung in the air while the Doctor checked to see if Suri was still asleep before leaning in to his friends.

"After the first church service, we'll go around the back of the church and I'll call my TARDIS to me. We can go to the international festival and have some fun and come back a few seconds after we left, they'll never know we've gone," the Doctor said. "Besides, it might be safer having the TARDIS in the back of the church now that we're here."

"What about your admirer?" Rose asked.

"What about him? He can drool all he likes. I didn't turn gay for Jack and I won't turn gay for him so he'll just have to look at me from afar. In fact, I'm glad Jack isn't here right now because what the two of them could do would give a heart attack to these church people."

"Jenny, is there a make your own t-shirt shop in Oklahoma City?" Rose asked her friend.

"Um, not sure, why?"

"Because I want to have a t-shirt made for the Doctor that says I'm glad Jack isn't here right now since he's said that about ten times now," Rose said, pointing to the Doctor.

"Who is he?" Jenny said.

"He's a friend of ours, used to travel with us," Rose said. "He does like men but he's nothing like Terrance."

"No, he's calmer for a start and more restrained and to be frank, Jack doesn't just like men. Um…Jack…likes about anything that's living," the Doctor said. "But I doubt even he could put up with Terrance. I have a feeling he goes for more mature men."

They heard loud muffled music and Terrance strolled back in, listening to his IPod. The Doctor grunted when he slammed onto the sofa beside him and gave him a lustful look.

"Hello, sweetheart," Terrance said, running his finger down the Doctor's cheek.

"Leave him alone," Jenny said.

"Shut up, Asian ho, don't talk to me."

"Excuse me?" Rose said angrily while Jenny stared at him in shock.

"And don't talk to me either. I don't like women who dye their hair; they're all a bunch of sleezy skanks."

"Those are my friends and you will be respectful to them!" the Doctor said angrily.

"Sorry, sweetie, I just don't like women. Most of them are bitches. Girls, bomp bomp, rule the world, bomp, bomp, bomp."

Rose and Jenny gasped when Terrance suddenly flung himself up, flung himself down on the Doctor's leg and pretended to hump it.

"Stop it, leave him alone!" Rose yelled, getting up.

"Ooo, the little blonde bitch is talking to me?" Terrance said, getting up.

Rose looked into his eyes and saw madness there and she knew she had to be cautious.

"Leave him alone, he doesn't like you," Rose said.

"This doesn't concern you, you little limey ho!"

"Quit insulting everyone as well, Anthony said that we're supposed to be respectful of everyone in here, ya git!" Rose said.

"You wanna fight me, bitch? Huh? You wanna fight?" Terrance said, getting shrill.

He stomped into the kitchen and everyone gasped when he grabbed a large butcher knife from the drawer near the sink and came back towards her. The Doctor and Jenny leapt up.

"If you come anywhere near here with that, you will live to regret it!" the Doctor snarled, pointing to the knife.

"ANTHONY, GET IN HERE AND RESTRAIN THE NUTCASE!" Jenny screamed.

"You talking to me, bitch?" Terrance said, moving towards her with the knife. "I will cut you, bitch!"

By now, everyone was coming into the living room.

"Alright, leave them alone!" Alex said, walking over to him as Anthony opened the bedroom door.

Terrance tensed his muscles and suddenly he lunged at Alex. Everyone got out of the way, except for Suri who was still asleep. But Suri was awakened when the two struggling men slammed into the sofa next to him. The Doctor, Rose and Jenny backed up to the patio door while Alex managed to get the knife away from Terrance and throw it across the room. The Doctor grabbed it while Alex got Terrance in a headlock.

"QUIT! LET ME GO!" Terrance shrieked.

"God, they need to call the cops on this idiot," Jenny said, shaking her head.

Terrance managed to wriggle out of Alex's headlock and lunged for the knife in the Doctor's hand. The Doctor dropped the knife behind him and Rose picked it up while the Doctor punched Terrance hard in the face. The force of the blow made Terrance reel back and Alex tried to get him back in the headlock but Terrance screamed at him to get away and ran to the front room while Anthony followed him.

"He needs to go," Alex said, shaking his head. "He keeps getting into fights like this, the man is nuts."

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Terrance screamed from the front room.

Jessie took the knife from Rose and everyone walked into the kitchen except for the Doctor, Rose, Jenny and Suri. Suri fell back to sleep but Terrance kept on screaming, "NO, LEAVE ME ALOOONE! NO!"

"What the hell are they doing in there?" Rose said.

"Satan! I bind you! Leave this man now!" they heard Anthony say.

The rest of Anthony's family went into the front room and they heard them begin to clap, yell Jesus's name and speak in tongues while Terrance continued to yell at them to leave him alone. The Doctor looked around and when none of the other residents were looking, he went down the hallway and peeked into the front room. He looked for thirty seconds and then walked back to Rose and Jenny who were now sitting on the sofa.

"What's happening in there?"

"Um…I think…that Anthony is performing an exorcism."

"What?" Jenny said. "Seriously?"

"Well," the Doctor said, sitting down beside them. "Terrance is on the floor on his stomach while Anthony is sitting on his back commanding the devil to leave him. I'd say that's an exorcism."

"Leave, Satan, in the name of Jesus!" they heard Anthony say.

"NOOOO, LEAVE ME ALOOONE!" Terrance screamed.

"This is a fascinating little house," the Doctor said. "Not here more than a half hour and already I've been propositioned by a demon possessed man. See, Jenny, time travel can be fun."

"If you say so, I think I've had enough of this house," Jenny said.

"Yeah, I have a feeling I'd rather take my chances in Ancient Egypt than with these nutters," Rose said. "Why don't we just go and leave this all behind?"

"Are you sure?" the Doctor said. "We get to listen to an exorcism!"

"NOOOO, GET OFF MEEEEE!"

"You want to get stabbed or me to get stabbed?" Rose said.

"Serves you right if he does. That'll learn ya to bop me in the noddle with your bat," the Doctor said.

"Doctor, please, I've had my fill of this place after ten seconds," Jenny said. "Let's just go."

The Doctor stared at them, flicking his foot lazily.

"Doctor," Rose said when he didn't answer them.

"Just watching you squirm while I sit here, I enjoy watching you squirm and beg me to leave here," he said.

"Can we?" Rose said.

"Oooh, I suppose, you're right, I don't want to fend off the advances of a half crazed randy homosexual devil possessed chap. Even though I killed Satan so it must be a lesser devil that's possessing him. Let's go!"

"Thank God!" Jenny said as they grabbed their gear and stood up.

They headed towards the front door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Jessie called.

"We're going out for a very, very long walk, have fun!" the Doctor said, waving.

They passed by the entrance to the front room and looked inside. Terrance was on the floor while Anthony sat on him yelling for Jesus to take the devil out of him. The others stopped clapping and speaking in tongues when the Doctor waved at them.

"Toodles," the Doctor said.

"Wait!" Anthony said.

But the Doctor opened the door and he, Rose and Jenny ran out the door and into the street. They ran out of the housing development to the field across the street. They looked to see if anyone was following them before the Doctor reached into his pocket for his TARDIS remote control. He paused a moment with his finger on the button.

"Well, turn it on, we wanna go," Rose said.

"But…exorcism, don't you wanna see it?"

"NO!" Rose and Jenny yelled.

"Oh okay, I wanted to see if a devil really jumped out of him. But if you insist," the Doctor said, pressing the button on the remote control.

Nothing happened for a few seconds and then suddenly the TARDIS materialized behind them.

"In, in, in!" Jenny said when it finished materializing.

"My, my, you're in a rush, aren't you?"

"Just get inside before I slap you silly," Rose said.

"Fair enough," the Doctor said.

He grinned as he slowly turned the key in the lock prompting another outburst of "Get on with it!" from Rose. The Doctor opened the door and stepped aside while Jenny and Rose raced inside. The Doctor went inside and shut the door behind them.

"So…Ancient Egypt then?" he said to them. "You sure you don't wanna see any more of Oklahoma?"

"No, I'm through with Oklahoma, let's just go," Rose said.

"Alrighty then! I will set the coordinates for Ancient Egypt so our newest member can get her feet wet," he said to them as he walked to the console.

He grinned at his companions as he began to do his manic dance around the console.

"Goodbye, Oklahoma! Hello, Egypt!" he said while Jenny and Rose squealed with delight.

THE END.