His fingers trembled as they unzipped her dress. It fell to the floor and lay beneath her. Her skin was creamy and soft. He touched it, let his fingertips dance over her back, her neck and hair. She breathed in short breaths. Stefan kissed her throat. He felt his face change, his fangs came out and his first reaction was to draw back, to calm down, but she pulled him in. He didn't need to be careful with her. He could just be himself. He let his fangs scratch her lip, he felt her tongue licking away the blood. The wound healed quickly. He could be himself with her. She pulled him onto the huge bed. It squeaked under their weight. Caroline's blonde hair was everywhere, he fought through it to find her face. He kissed her mouth and her cheeks and her chin. He kissed her throat again, her chest, her stomach, her inner thigh. For the first time in forever, he felt completely human. Full of lust and feelings so bright it hurt. He looked up at her face, saw her fangs glimmer. It made him smile. Then he pulled off her underwear.

…

Caroline woke up as the sun hit her eyes. She felt his skin against hers. She felt his hand around her waist. She felt her leg entwined with his. She opened her eyes. He still slept soundly. She leaned in and carefully kissed his forehead. If life was easy, she would wake him and do a reprise of last night. But no, life wasn't easy. Life was hard. And the moment Stefan would wake up, he would freak out. So Caroline closed her eyes and just felt. She remembered last night. Feeling him touching her, kissing her. Feeling him inside her. And then falling asleep in his arms. It had been the best night of her life. But she knew that today would hurt.

…

"I need to leave" he said.

She opened her eyes. She had fallen asleep again.

"Leave?"

"I'm going to visit some friends."

She could tell that he was lying.

"Okay" she said slowly.

He stood by the door, holding his bag. He was about to leave her.

"I'll be back in a couple of days. I'm sure you can stay here."

She nodded. He left. Caroline broke into tears. She pulled the covers over her face and wept until there were no tears left.

…

"Stefan?"

Stefan hadn't heard his brother's voice in weeks. And for a second, he allowed himself to miss him. Just for a second.

"Yeah" he said gruffly.

"I've been calling you…" Damon began.

"Shut up."

"What?"

"Just shut up."

Stefan sat in his car. He had no idea where he was or where he was going. It rained. He felt confused.

"What is it?" Damon asked.

He had dropped his entire normal sarcastic drawl.

"I need to talk to you about something" Stefan said calmly. "I don't want to talk about Elena and I don't want to even mention her."

"Okay" Damon said slowly.

"I have no one else to turn to."

"I'm your brother" Damon huffed. "You can tell my anything."

His tone was ironic, but it didn't matter.

"I did something stupid."

"You killed someone?"

"No."

"Okay, then it can't be that bad."

"I slept with Caroline."

Damon snorted.

"Been there, brother."

"Shut up."

Stefan hid his face in his hands.

"To be honest, I don't really see the issue" Damon drawled. "Sometimes people get drunk and mess up. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"I wasn't drunk."

Damon was silent for a few seconds.

"Well, you two have spent a lot of time together. It's not that strange that you ended up in bed, is it?"

"Maybe not."

"Where is she now?"

"In a town where I left her."

"And where are you?" Damon asked.

"I don't really know. I've been driving for six hours."

Silence fell again. Maybe this was a bad idea. What did Damon know about these things?

"You panicked?" Damon asked carefully.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Stefan tilted his head back against the head rest. His limbs ached after sitting still for so long.

"I ruined it."

"Ruined what?"

"The only good thing."

"Caroline?"

"Yeah. I'm only happy when I'm with her. But now, I screwed that up."

"Maybe you can just act like it didn't happen. I mean, if it didn't mean anything…"

He trailed off. Stefan stared into the rain. He hated himself.

"Or, it did mean something?" Damon asked.

"I don't know."

He wanted to hang up now. He wanted to think.

"Look, Stefan, about…"

"Don't. Just don't. I need to go."

"When are you coming home?"

"I don't know if I am."

And he hung up.

…

Caroline pulled on a rain coat and went to explore the huge grounds. It was mid-day now, but because of the rain, she didn't see anyone. She walked to bench near the lake. She wanted to throw up.

"Hey!" someone called.

She turned and for a second, she actually believed that it was Stefan. But it wasn't, it was Jason. Kat's husband.

"Hi" she replied, pulling down her hood to conceal her red eyes.

"We had good luck with the weather" Jason said cheerily. "Wouldn't have been much fun getting married in his downpour."

Caroline shook her head. She never ever had problems speaking with people. Actually, she loved it. But today, she was exhausted.

"Where's your husband?"

She wanted to throw up again.

"He had to leave, business. He drove off this morning."

"So you don't have a car?"

Caroline shook her head.

"And no place to stay?"

"No."

"You can stay in the guest room if you want" he offered.

"Thank you."

She met his eyes. She doubted there was even an ounce of evil in him.

"Sure. Wanna walk with me?"

She hesitated, but nodded.

"Marissa and Patrick left for Bahamas this morning, both so hung-over they wanted to postpone it" he told her.

Caroline smiled. She hadn't seen Marissa since she had been draped over Stefan, but she had been pretty out of it.

"Do you like him?" she asked. "Your sister's husband?"

Jason shrugged.

"He's a nice guy."

"Do you think they'll stay together forever?"

Jason looked at her in a peculiar way.

"I don't know" he answered. "Who does?"

She nodded. He was right, of course. Caroline had always thought that Stefan and Elena would be together forever. But, on the other hand, they might. Stefan might be driving back to Mystic Falls right now.

"And are you okay?" he asked carefully. "You seem upset."

She shook her head.

"Just tired."

He nodded.

"Caroline, I going to the store. You need anything?"

She shook her head.

"No, thanks anyway."

He nodded, squeezed her shoulder and left. She stood, watching after him, feeling alone.

…

Back in her room, Caroline turned her phone on. She had twelve text messages, she deleted them without reading them. She had 47 missed calls, 20 from Bonnie, 12 from Elena and the rest from Damon and her mother. None from Stefan. She hadn't realized that she had, but she had hoped that he called. But no, nothing. Not a sound. She was all alone. She had no one to call.

She almost dropped the phone as it began ringing in her hand. The display read MATT. Matt. Wonderful Matt that Damon had hurt. She answered without a second thought.

"Wow" he said. "Didn't think that you would pick up. Bonnie told me that you never do."

"I just turned the phone on."

His voice soothed her.

"It's good to hear your voice" he said."I've missed you."

Caroline nodded, trying not to cry.

"I've missed you too" she croaked.

"You okay, Care?"

"Yeah" she lied. "You're not, though. I heard that Damon hurt you."

Matt sighed.

"Well, yes. He did."

"How are you?"

"Elena made him feed me his blood, so I'm okay now."

Caroline nodded to herself. Matt was okay. Thank God.

"Good" she whispered.

"Are you crying?" he asked gently.

"No."

Tears ran down her face, but she ignored them.

"Care, maybe you should come home."

"I can't. I don't have a car."

"I thought you were with Stefan?"

"I was."

"And what happened?"

She didn't answer. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to mess everything up even more.

"Care, you can tell me."

"I just messed up."

"How? Did you fight?"

"Something like that."

"And where is he?"

"I don't know. He just left."

"Stefan just left?"

Matt looked astonished. Caroline had to agree, Stefan wasn't the type to just leave her.

"How are things at home?" she asked, to change the subject.

"Fine" he replied. "I guess you heard about Damon and Elena?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell Stefan?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Because I love him. Because I was scared he would go back to Mystic Falls. And leave me. Just like he did now.

"I wasn't my place."

"Okay."

"Matt?"

"Yeah."

"Please don't tell Bonnie or Elena that we talked. I just can't deal with them right now."

"Okay."

She dried her face with a towel and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked terrible.

"I'll call again" she lied.

"Bye."

…

Stefan drove and drove. He stopped for gas, but nothing else. He didn't hunt, he didn't sleep. He just drove. He had finally decided to go to Dallas and visit Lexi's friends. It was better than driving on endless roads in the rain. At least, he had a goal. After a few hours, he got sick of the radio commercials and turned on the CD-player. They hadn't been driving for a few days prior to this random trip, but the Rumors began playing as if they had just turned it off. The track was "Never going back again". He had never paid a lot of attention to it before, but today he played over and over again. He had never felt so empty.

She broke down and let me in
Made me see where I've been

Been down one time
Been down two times
I'm never going back again

…

"Stefan Salvatore" the oldest vampire said. "Never thought I'd see you again."

Stefan grinned feebly.

"Henrietta" he greeted her.

Behind her stood James, Vincent and Clara. It been over 30 years since he had last seen them. But they hadn't changed at all, of course, and neither had he.

"What brings you to the south?" Vincent asked.

He was handsome with dark eyes and deep features.

"Needed a change."

"Tired of that brother of yours?" Clara asked.

Damon was infamous.

"Yeah."

He sat down in a sofa and was served warm blood. He politely declined, he had hunted on the way. He looked around. Vincent, Clara, Henrietta and James had lived together for almost a hundred years in this light-proof house. They had no special rings that allowed them to go out into the sun. Stefan quickly looked down onto his finger. His ring was still on his left ring finger, like it was his marriage ring. He stared it for almost minute before he removed it and placed it on his right hand.

…

"Matt?"

Stefan was woken the next day, the third after he had left, by his phone. Matt was calling. Stefan had nothing against Matt, but he doubted if they had even spoken in the last year. He didn't even know that Matt had his number.

"Hey Stefan. What's up?"

Stefan yawned quietly and sat up in the bed he had been sleeping in. It was 4 PM in the afternoon. These vampires slept all day, Stefan had been tired enough to sleep too.

"Nothing" he said. "How are you?"

Matt didn't answer the question, instead he completely switched topics.

"I spoke to Caroline yesterday" he said.

"Oh."

Stefan felt guilt. He shouldn't have left her. He shouldn't have abandoned her in some crappy town. He was the worst friend.

"She was upset."

Stefan didn't know what to say.

"Was she?"

Matt cleared his throat.

"Look, I've known Care since we were kids and I really, really care for her."

"I know" Stefan began, but Matt cut him off.

"I don't know what you two fought about, but she needs you. And you need to go back and take care of her. I think you owe her that, after all she has done to you."

Stefan bit his lip.

"It's not that easy" he said, trying to sound matter of fact.

"Why not? What did you fight about that was so bad that you can't make up?"

Stefan swallowed.

"Nothing" he murmured.

"Right" Matt said happily.

Stefan turned the phone off without saying goodbye. He lay down on the bed again. He wished it would be that easy.

…

Thank God for Kat and Jason, Caroline thought multiple times over the following days. They had unceremoniously taken her under their wing. Maybe the suspected something was wrong, maybe they were just wonderful people. They fed her food that she didn't really need, but that tasted wonderful. When the weather cleared up, they took her swimming in the lake. Kat loaned her books that Caroline read in the grass, her feet in the cool water. At night, they played cards or drank wine on the patio. They didn't ask anything about Stefan. She was thankful for that.

But at night, when Kat and Jason lay bundled together in the master suite, Caroline stared into the ceiling. She felt alone. She was a girl who spent most nights of her life alone, her mother had often had the nightshift and her father was never around. She was used to being alone, to making herself busy. But she had never felt like this. From being with Stefan every minute of every day, to nothing, was a big leap. And it hurt. And it hurt even more that he left. Even if Caroline had never really expected him to love her back, something in her had hoped he would stay. But no, he was gone and she was stranded in some crappy town. Thank God for Kat and Jason.

…

"Do you know where there's a bus station?" she asked on the fourth day.

"You want to go home?" Kat asked kindly.

Caroline nodded. She had thought it through. Even though she didn't want to see Bonnie or Elena, it was better than being alone. Being patronized and treated like a disobedient puppy was better than being alone. Everything was better than being alone. And Matt was at home. She missed something that she could rely on. She had been lying to herself for such a long time. Maybe weeks, maybe more. Maybe she had been in love with Stefan when she asked him to come with her. Maybe she was the most selfish person.

"There's one in the next town" Kat said.

Caroline nodded.

"Great."

She could take a bus to somewhere that would take her to somewhere that would lead home.

"Won't Stefan come and get you?"

She shook her head.

"I don't think so."

Kat tilted her head to one side.

"You aren't really married, are you?"

Caroline smiled.

"No."

"Do you even know Marissa?"

"No."

Kat giggled.

"Then who are you?"

"We just wanted to crash a wedding" Caroline admitted.

She was leaving them anyway and Kat didn't seem to be angry.

"So, you just made up that story about the road trip?"

"No" Caroline said. "No, it's true. Except the falling in love part."

She smiled again, but it was weak smile.

"But you love him."

"I know."

"And he loves you!"

Caroline shook her head.

"No" she said. "He loves Elena."