"And we're home" Stefan murmured.

Mystic Falls was dark and empty. It was night and this wasn't Nashville, here people went to sleep at an appropriate hour.

"It looks so small" Caroline whispered.

They passed the school, the park, the church. They drove past Mystic Grill and the town square. No one was out, but Caroline felt like crying anyway. She had dreaded coming back so much, but this was her home. At least for now. All the streets were hers. The people were a part of her. She couldn't just ignore that.

"The picnic's tomorrow" Stefan said.

Caroline nodded.

"I know."

"Are you going?"

She nodded again. She wasn't the type of girl that would miss the picnic.

"I'll pick you up" he offered. "Noon-ish?"

She met his eyes. He wanted to pick her up. So that they could go together.

"Sure."

Stefan parked outside her house. The lights were on in the kitchen, her mother had probably left them on when she went to work.

"This is it, I guess" Stefan smiled.

She smiled back. Suddenly she felt tired, extremely tired. Like she hadn't slept in weeks. Like she wanted to climb into her own bed and sleep for eight hours.

"I guess so" she whispered.

"Thanks, for dragging me along on this crazy trip."

"Anytime."

He kissed her. She kissed him back. They were in Mystic Falls and he still wanted to kiss her.

"You want this?" he asked, ejecting the Rumors album.

She shook her head.

"You keep it."

"Alright. Good night then."

"Good night."

…

"Caroline!"

Caroline jumped five feet into the air (or maybe just five inches).

"Shit" she croaked as her mother came towards her in the dark living room.

"You're back?"

"Yep."

Her mother gave her an awkward hug. Caroline couldn't remember when they had hugged before. Liz Forbes wasn't a hugger. At all.

"I've been worried, you didn't call and your phone was turned off" her mother said, her tone serious.

Caroline rolled her eyes. She was close to telling her mother to stop acting like she cared, but stopped herself.

"I'm sorry" she said instead.

Her mother looked surprised. She had expected a snarky remark.

"Oh well, everything's good."

Caroline nodded. She wanted her mother to care about her, for real. So she wasn't going to harass her, when Liz had for the first time made an effort to care. She should encourage the motherly behavior.

"Everything's good" Caroline confirmed.

Liz nodded. She didn't ask about the trip or if she wanted anything to eat (or drink) or anything else. She just nodded and left the room. Caroline sighed. Rome wasn't built in one day.

"Welcome home, Caroline" she mumbled to herself and then went to bed.

…

Stefan carried his bag to his room and then went down the kitchen. The house was filthy. Damon had never been the housekeeping type. Dust lay in corners, the windows were dirty and the whole house smelled like the door hadn't been open for a while.

"The lost brother returns" Damon sneered.

He sat on the counter top, drinking a glass of blood and looking pale.

"Hey."

They stared at each other for almost a minute. Stefan didn't know what he should do and apparently neither did Damon. In the end, Damon hopped of the counter and clapped Stefan on the back. Stefan snorted, grabbed his brother and hugged him. It was a stiff hug, very stiff.

"Enough with the bro love" Damon said, backing out of Stefan's grip.

Stefan shook his head at him.

"You haven't had time to clean?"

"Nope, been super busy."

"I bet."

And then they looked at each other for about a minute again. Stefan knew that Damon wanted to apologize, but that he didn't know how. It was like looking at a child trying to say its first word.

"I shouldn't have done it" he finally blurted out. "It was stupid."

"Are you saying that because it didn't work out or because you mean it?"

"Caroline told you?"
"Yeah, eventually."

Damon cleared his throat.

"It was a bad idea" he said. "In every way."

"Okay."

Damon turned his back on him and went to pour himself more blood. Stefan watched him, feeling amused. There was something incredibly endearing in seeing Damon trying to find the right way to say "I'm sorry."

"You know what" Stefan said, smiling. "I forgive you."

"For what?" Damon huffed.

He passed his brother and left the kitchen. But Stefan could swear that he saw Damon looking relieved.

…

The first day of school wasn't really a real day. All Caroline had to was sign up, accept her new schedule and new locker. It took her about six minutes while Stefan waited in the car. After that, they drove to the park. It was already crowded with High School students. A huge banner read "SCHOOL'S BACK" painted in red letters. If Caroline had been in charge, she would have come up with something wittier, but it didn't really matter.

"Hey!" someone called

Bonnie. Caroline turned towards her. She had cut her hair short, really short, like to her chin. It suited her, made her look harder, more dangerous.

"I hoped you'd be back" she said, hugging Caroline.

Caroline hugged her back, feeling uneasy.

"Here I am" she said.

"Look, we need to talk" Bonnie mumbled. "I was out of line on the phone."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Caroline grinned half-heartedly. She wasn't mad at Bonnie, but this "let's be friends again" thing seemed fake. Or maybe it wasn't.

"Come and sit with us" Bonnie urged her. "We're over there."

Caroline nodded. Bonnie finally turned to Stefan.

"Hi" she said.

"Hi" he replied.

That was it.

"Let's eat" Bonnie said.

…

They all sat on a pale blue blanket. Jeremy was drinking coke and looking troubled. Matt and Tyler were playing cards for the last cupcake. And Elena. Caroline almost choked when she saw her. She was gorgeous. The sun had given her skin an olive tone and her hair blonde streaks. She wore a simple blue dress and sneakers. She laughed at something Jeremy said. The perfect girl next door. As she had always been.

"Look who I found" Bonne said.

They all looked up. Tyler looked only remotely interested, Matt looked pleased, Jeremy looked surprised. Elena's face lit up in a huge smile and she quickly got to her feet.

"I missed you" she said brightly.

Elena didn't look like she had been sulking all summer. She looked more beautiful than ever. Caroline stole a quick look at Stefan, his face didn't give away his feelings.

"Great, more food" Tyler said, winking at Caroline.

"Help yourself" she said awkwardly, putting down her basket.

She didn't feel like eating. She felt like throwing up.

"You have to tell us" Elena smiled. "Where have you been?"
Caroline tried to meet Stefan's eye, but he was handing out cups of apple juice.

"Everywhere" he said in his usual calm voice.

"Be less specific" Elena laughed.

He smiled at her. Caroline swallowed hard.

"Small towns mostly" he explained. "And Nashville. And Dallas."

Caroline bit down hard on apple. The juice dripped down her chin. She wiped it off.

"Caroline, can you help with the music?" Bonnie asked.

…

The speakers were huge and the same ones that had been used on every prom and dance since Caroline was a kid. Bonnie adjusted a wire half-heartedly. Caroline knew there had been nothing wrong with the sound.

"Who arranged this?" Caroline asked absentmindedly.

She couldn't see Stefan from here. Maybe that was a good thing.

"Elena."

Caroline met Bonnie's eyes for a fraction of a second.

"Elena?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Caroline couldn't explain why this upset her. Perhaps because planning these things had always been her thing. Elena had everything else. She was a better student, prettier, had always had a boyfriend. But Caroline had been the crafty one, the one who came up with ideas and made people work for her.

"It's nice, right?" Bonnie asked.

"Sure."

"Look, Caroline. I know I was a bitch to you."

"Yeah, you were."

Bonnie scrunched up her face. Apparently she hadn't expected Caroline to say that.

"I had to take care of her. Elena was acting weird and Damon wasn't making her happy. I just wanted to make everything good again."

"Not really your job, Bonnie."

"No, I know. It used to be yours, but you left."

Caroline swallowed.

"She got you to turn against me. You and my mother. And I did nothing wrong. Nothing."

Bonnie closed her eyes for a second.

"I know."

"You acted like I betrayed you."

"I'm sorry."

Caroline nodded. She really wasn't that hurt anymore, but seeing Elena had made all the feeling come up the surface.

"You fell in love with him, didn't you?" Bonnie asked bluntly.

Caroline stared her feet.

"Yes."

"So, you kind of did betray Elena."

Something burned inside Caroline. Anger. Almost hatred against Bonnie in that moment.

"I don't think Elena should be the one to tell people who they can or can't date."

She stalked off, leaving Bonnie with the speakers. She spotted the gang on the blanket again. Jeremy was in on the card game now. Stefan and Elena were talking. No, more than that. They were speaking. She leaned in close, he mimicked her behavior. Her hand landed on his knee. Caroline swallowed hard. Suddenly it dawned on her. She wasn't in some fantasy world anymore. This was real. And in the real world, Stefan didn't love her. Not like he loved Elena.

"Hey, Caroline" a girl named Deena said. "Did Elena fix this thing up? It's so much better than last year!"

Caroline wanted to slap her.

…

She had been stupid. Naïve. How had she believed that she could compete with Elena? In anything. Elena was the pretty one. The smart one. The cute one. The witty one. The one who could save your life. It would make anyone love her. It had made Matt love her and Damon. And Stefan. But to Stefan it was more. She was the love of his life. Caroline knew it, maybe she had always known it. Denial, she had lived in denial for such a long time.

She couldn't really blame him either. If she had gone on the road trip with Matt, she probably would have ended up in bed with him eventually. And she would probably had enjoyed and believed it was real. Caroline and Stefan had been alone together for weeks. It wasn't strange that it fucked with your mind. She wished that her love for him had been a mind fuck too.

Caroline wanted to leave. She had been in Mystic Falls for about twelve hours and she wanted to leave. She had to leave. She lay down on her undone bed (staying in motels made you forget that you had to make them yourself). Her mind was spinning. Everything hurt.

…

"Why did you leave?" Matt asked.

His face was so familiar and kind that she wanted to hug him.

"I felt tired."

He tilted his head to one side to say that he didn't buy her bullshit.

"Why don't you make me coffee?" he suggested

She shrugged and let him in. They made their way to the kitchen. She turned on the coffee maker.

"You sounded happy on the phone" Matt said.

"Maybe it was a bad signal."

"Care, stop. Tell me why you have been crying."

She shook her head.

"I just want to sleep."

"Okay."

Matt turned the coffee maker off and took her hand. He led her up the stairs, got her into bed and covered her body with a quilt. Then he sat down on the bedside.

"It's him, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"What did he do?"

"Made me fall in love with him."

Matt stroked her cheek. She wanted to tell him how much she appreciated him, but she didn't have the energy.

"Does he love you back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He loves her. He might not realize it, but I do. I can try all I want, but he will always be hers."

She realized her eyes were wet. She sniffled.

"I'm sorry" Matt whispered.

He bent down and kissed her hair.

"Not your fault."

He smiled.

"No, not yours either."

She shook her head.

"Get some sleep" he told her.

"Okay."

But it was clear that she couldn't. Tears were streaming down her face. She couldn't stop them. Matt wiped them off with his sleeve.

"It will be okay" he whispered. "I promise."

He lay down on the bed, right next to her and held her. Caroline closed her eyes.

"Why does everything have to be so difficult?" she whispered.

"I don't know Care. I just don't know."

…

Bonnie and Elena waited for her at her locker. Bonnie wore a new top. If this had been last year, Caroline would have complimented her on it. But now, Caroline couldn't care less about clothes. She was exhausted and felt weak. All she wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed again.

"Why did you leave yesterday?" Bonnie asked.

Her voice was light, but Caroline heard the annoyance under the perkiness.

"I was tired."

"You just stalked off" Bonnie insisted. "You could have said good bye!"

"Hey, don't fight" Elena mumbled.

She put one arm around Bonnie's shoulders and one around Caroline's. Her arm was warm and real.

"We're all together again" Elena smiled. "Finally."

Caroline searched her face. No. There were no schemes or hidden agendas in Elena's eyes. She just wanted to be friends. Best friends. As if this summer never had happened.

"Yes" Bonnie exhaled.

Caroline didn't say anything. One part of her wanted to run home and cry. The other wanted to spend the whole day next to her friends. People who loved her. People who could disappoint her, but loved her all the same.

"You have to tell us about the trip" Elena begged. "Stefan was very secretive."

Stefan. Hearing his name in her voice made Caroline feel nauseas. Stefan.

"I wasn't a big deal. Nothing special happened" she smiled.

"Come on" Bonnie begged. "Something must have happened!"

Yes, the two of you treated me like crap and now we all forget that even happened.

"We have to get to class" Caroline said.

She didn't want talk about the trip. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to remember it.

…

Stefan waited in his car for her. He listened for her voice or her laugh. But he couldn't hear it. Was she skipping school? No, he finally saw her. First came Bonnie and Elena, giggling and listening to an iPod. Two feet after them came Caroline. She looked like shit. Or as much as shit as Caroline could look. Her hair was piled on top of her head, her clothes were wrinkled and she looked beat. She didn't look for a car or him so she didn't find him. He had to step out of the car and grab her. She jumped.

"Hey" he said. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"She's been like that all day" Bonnie told him, nodding vigorously.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Like she's sleepwalking."

"Do you feel okay?" Elena asked Caroline.

Caroline put on a brave face and smiled.

"Yeah."

"Can I talk to you?" Stefan asked.

He felt Bonnie look hard at him. What had Caroline told her?

"Sure."

Stefan opened the door to the passenger seat and Caroline slid in. Her face was impassive.

"Call me" Elena called to her.

Stefan got in the car too, but he didn't drive off. He shut the door and turned to her. She looked away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm just tired."

She smelled different too. He leaned in a little further. Matt. She smelled like Matt. Her whole body smelled like him. Stefan felt himself retract from her.

"You smell like him" he said.

"Who?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Matt."

"Oh, yeah. He spent the night."

"Caroline, what's going on?"

She finally looked at him. She hadn't cried, she didn't even look sad. Just exhausted.

"I wish I had never asked you to come with me to Memphis" she said.

It felt like a slap.

"Why?" he asked.

"It fucked everything up."

"What is fucked up?"

She looked away from him again.

"Everything. You and me. Me and Bonnie and Elena. Me and my mom."

"I'm sorry, Care. I wish I could help."

"I know you do."

She put her hand on the handle and was about to open the door.

"Caroline, you saved me. I was depressed and you made me happy. Doesn't that make the trip worthwhile?"

"I'm happy for you" she said and he knew she was telling the truth.

Then she got out of the car and within seconds, she was gone,

…

Damon was in when Stefan got home. He wondered if his brother ever left the house anymore.

"Why are you looking so bothered?" Damon sneered.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Don't."
"Fine."

"So?"

"Caroline's mad at me."

"Is that so weird? You like spent months and months together. Maybe she's sick of you."

"Maybe."

Stefan poured himself a glass of water. He didn't understand what had changed. Yesterday, she had been in love with him and now she acted like he was making her miserable. Like everything had been a mistake.

"Why do even care?" Damon huffed. "I'm sure Elena wants you back.

"Don't go there."

Damon shrugged.

"She let Matt stay the night" Stefan murmured.

"And why do you care? They have history, right?"

Stefan exhaled loudly. Yes. That was true. And it made it worse. Why would Caroline do that to him? He didn't get it.

…

Caroline stepped out of the shower and shrieked. Damon sat on her bed, reading one of her old diaries. He looked very unembarrassed to see her naked.

"What are you doing?" she croaked, holding a pair of jeans in front of her.

"Calm down, honey. Nothing I haven't seen before."

"Whatever."

She dressed quickly as Damon snickered, still reading fifteen-year old Caroline's thoughts.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just wanted to catch up.

"I bet."

She snatched the diary from his hands and put it back in her shelf. He rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what you did to my brother, but he's not pissed at me."

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did."

She shook her head.

"No, I didn't."

"He thinks you're mad at him."

Caroline snorted.

"What game are you playing, Damon? Since when do you care about me? Or your brother?"

"Ouch."

"Shut up."

She left her bedroom, but he followed her. She was thankful that her mother was working.

"I'm not stupid, Caroline" he sneered.

"Really? Could have fooled me."

"Quit the snarky attitude, Barbie. It doesn't suit you."

Caroline clamped her mouth shut. He was right. She didn't like herself when she was like this. But she didn't feel happy. At all.

"All I know" Damon drawled. "is that Stefan hated me and Elena. And then he goes away for a few weeks and when he comes home, he likes us again."

"He loves you" Caroline said. "The both of you."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing that matters."

Damon sighed. He shook his head at her.

"Did you sleep with Matt last night?"

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

Damon cocked his head. Caroline rolled her eyes.

"You're in love with him" Damon snorted.

Caroline shrugged.

"You are. Then why are treating him like shit?" he asked.

She wanted to slap him. Didn't he get it?

"Damon, you once tried to kill Jeremy. Do you remember?"

"Yeah."

"And Elena forgave you for that. But when you try to kill Matt, she dumps you. Doesn't that seem weird?"

"Are you implying that Elena loves Matt?"

"No. I'm just saying that Elena's reason for breaking up with you doesn't make sense."

"And your point is?"

"She will always love Stefan. And he will always love her."

Damon froze for a second. Caroline swallowed hard.

"We can fight it, you and me. But it doesn't change anything."

"I think he loves you" Damon whispered.

"He thinks he does too. But he doesn't. Not like he loves her."

Caroline wanted Damon to contradict her. To shout that she was lying. But he didn't. He just nodded.

"Yeah" he said.

"Yeah" she echoed.

He left.