The Proposal

(Chapter Five: Little White Lies)

THREE WEEKS LATER….

Olivia was standing under the hot water of the shower as she heard the bathroom door open.

"I'll be out in a minute," she said as she leaned back a bit to rinse the shampoo from her hair.

She felt a burst of cool air against her skin and opened her eyes as Alex stepped into the shower in front of her.

"Or you could stay," Alex said kissing her tenderly as she smoothed her fingers through Olivia's smooth wet hair.

"I can't today, Lex. I have to meet Elliot early and we have a meeting with Cragen."

Olivia placed a quick peck on Alex's lips then brushed past her as she stepped from the shower. She wrapped herself in a towel and headed for the bedroom before Alex could protest.

She stood in front of the dresser mirror and blow dried her hair then dressed quickly and moved to the kitchen for some coffee.

"We don't seem to have much time together anymore," Alex said trying not to look disappointed as she walked into the kitchen wrapped in a towel.

"We spend time together. We practically live together. We had dinner together last night."

"That isn't what I mean," she said staring at the brown eyed beauty in her kitchen.

"You mean sex? We have sex. It's just….with my work and your work….things are so crazy. Alex you knew that it was like this before we started dating. It has always been like this. It just so happens that the case I am working right now isn't the same case you're working, so we don't see each other as much at work. But we're getting close, I can feel it. Soon we will close this case and eventually we will get to work one together again."

"Does it bother you? Working with me, I mean?"

"No, I love working with you. Better you than that asshole, Langan."

"Trevor Langan can be an asshole," Alex agreed. "Especially when he hits on my girlfriend right in front of me."

Olivia laughed.

"Lex, he doesn't even know we are together. No one does. Well, no one but El. I have tried to tell Trevor he wasn't my type, but he just doesn't seem to listen. I guess he still thinks that somewhere inside there is still hope for him."

"Did you tell him that your type has a vagina?"

"No." Olivia took a sip from her coffee mug then looked up at the saddened look on Alex's face. "Alex, even if you and I had never gotten together….and I wasn't in a relationship with a woman….Trevor Langan still would not have a chance."

"I don't know. He is sexy, successful and lawyer. A lot of women would think he was the perfect catch."

"For a lot of women, maybe he is. But not for me." She exhaled and tried to remember how they had even gotten on this topic of conversation. "Besides, no one could ever love Trevor Langan as much as he loves himself."

"True," Alex agreed as Olivia picked up her car keys. "I'll call you later," she said kissing Alex gently before heading for the door.

"Have a good day at work," Alex called across the kitchen as she readjusted her towel.

"You too," Olivia said with a wave and she was out the door.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stopped by the bakery around the corner from Elliot's apartment for coffee and danish, before showing up on his door step. It was her turn to drive and she preferred to leave a little early and beat the morning traffic. After the buzzing 4D for the third time, a woman stepping out for her morning paper held the door open allowing Olivia to enter the building. She fumbled around until she found her keys and let herself into the apartment, sitting the coffee and their breakfast on the kitchen counter as she headed down the hall.

"El?" She called as she walked toward the bathroom.

He must have still been in the shower. She listened as she approached the bathroom door, but there was no water running.

"Elliot?" She asked pushing the bedroom door open to find her half naked partner still asleep in bed. "Elliot, get up. We are going to be late for our meeting with Cragen!"

Elliot groaned and rolled over to look at her from under his pillow.

"The meeting was canceled. We don't have to go in for two more hours."

"Canceled? Why?"

"I don't know," he mumbled pulling the blanket over his head. "Why don't you call Cragen and ask him?"

Olivia smiled.

"So why don't you get up and get a hot shower? I brought coffee and breakfast and we can just use the extra time to work on our case."

"Or I could sleep another hour and then get up and take a shower and drink coffee."

"You are not the only one who didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But Elliot, I am already up and dressed and here and ready to go," she replied staring at the mound of blankets as they moved around on the bed.

Olivia tipped her head to the side and watched as one side of the comforter raised up and he stared out at her. He smiled a tired smile and scooted to one side of the bed patting the empty side as if offering it to her.

"There is room under here for two," he said with a yawn.

Olivia watched him yawning as he did as she shook her head. She folded her arms in front of her and for a moment or two stood her ground.

"Alright," she said kicking off her shoes and unbuttoning her jeans as she stepped out of them, leaving her in a tee shirt and a pair of lacy boy short panties.

She made her way across the room and slid under the blankets tucking herself neatly in beside him.

"But only for an hour. Then we are both getting up and it is back to work. We have a long way to go before this case is anywhere near ready for trial. Oh, and no sex."

"No sex? I'm just trying to get some sleep. Sleep in. I never get to do that anymore."

"Oh," she replied only half disappointed. "Alright. Just sleep, then. No sex. Just sleep," she repeated as she yawned and watched him reset his alarm clock.

But an hour later when the alarm clock sounded and they both stirred still tired and confused from their slumber, the rules she had been so particular about when she had climbed into the bed with him, had been forgotten.

Olivia moaned softly as Elliot tightened his arms around her and kissed the curve of her neck. It felt as it always did between them, perfect and natural. Within moments her tee shirt was crumpled up in the floor next to his jeans, her panties pushed to the foot of the bed and her bra on the pillow beside them as they were making love.

It was strong and passionate and incredible as always. And when it was over he held her tight, like she was the only woman in the world to him. This was exactly why she needed him, Olivia thought to herself as she rested against his chest. It wasn't the sex and it honestly didn't even have anything to do with the fact that he was male. It was the way he loved her, how he made her feel as if she were the only woman on the face of the Earth and she belonged somewhere. She belonged with him.

Olivia raised her head and stared into his eyes as she smiled.

"So, are you going to tell Alex what is going on here?"

"What am I supposed to tell her?"

"I don't know. But I do know that the longer you wait, the harder it is to tell someone the truth."

"Yeah," she said softly. "I don't know how to do this, Elliot."

"I'm not forcing you to make a decision here, Liv. I understand exactly the position you are in. It wasn't too awful long ago that I was there myself."

"I care about her. I love her. But when we are here….when we are together…."

"This feels right, too," he said kissing her tenderly.

"Is this what it was like for you?"

"Not exactly. I knew I was in love with you. In my heart the choice was already made. It was simple. But factor in logic and five children and things get a little complicated."

"You were in love with me?" she whispered.

"It's no secret, Olivia. I am very much still in love with you."

"El, that doesn't make this easier at all."

"I know. I am not trying to guilt you into anything. You need to figure this out for yourself, I understand that. And no matter what you decide, we are still going to be friends….best friends. I don't expect you to choose, Liv. And I know that this is not supposed to happen. You are Alex's girlfriend, not mine. I cannot help but notice that we keep ending up here."

"Hey, you invited me into your bed."

"I did," he laughed. "But you took your pants off."

"You took my bra off," she laughed.

"Okay, that is a very good argument. Do you plan on telling her that we have been sneaking around to have sex these last few weeks?"

"We should get to work," she said climbing from his bed as she began to put her clothes back on.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I am going to the kitchen to microwave my cup of coffee and eat a blueberry and cream cheese danish."

"You know that isn't what I am talking about."

"I'm not sure. I don't know what I am going to do. I really don't know. So, for now….I'm gonna have a cup of coffee."

"I'm gonna grab a shower. I wont be long."

Elliot climbed into the shower and stood under the hot water trying to think of something to say to her. He knew he wasn't making this easier on her, but it wasn't easy on him either.

Olivia was sitting at the counter picking apart her danish with a Styrofoam cup in one hand when Elliot walked back into the kitchen. She slid him a napkin with a pastry and pointed at the second cup of coffee. Elliot sat down beside her and took a drink from the coffee cup.

"I'm not going to tell her," Olivia said looking at him over the rim of her cup.

Elliot focused his attention on the look in her big brown eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

"Are you ready?" she asked tossing her breakfast into the trash and grabbing her car keys.

"I guess I can eat in the car."

"We're already late."

Elliot could tell by the tone of her voice that it wasn't really being late to work that was bothering her. The guilt was beginning to get to her.