The Proposal
(Chapter Six: Decisions)
TWO MONTHS LATER….
Elliot watched as Olivia returned to her desk from the locker room. She had been in there a good hour now and he was curious as to what had been keeping her, now he knew.
"Got a hot date tonight?" He asked staring and the stunning beauty in the little black dress,
"Alex has theatre tickets."
"Ahh."
"I have canceled on her three times. Tonight has to be perfect. I have to look great and I cannot be late or she is going to kill me."
"You look amazing," he said smiling at her at she fidgeted with the strap on her shoe.
Olivia batted her pretty brown eyes at him and smiled.
"You're bad. Just don't talk," she said watching as he instinctively licked his lips, "I know exactly what you are thinking."
"You do?"
"Yes. That look says it all. I will take it as a compliment"
"You want a compliment, stop by after the show and I'll give you one you will never forget," he said with a wink.
"Really? El, come on. That was just tasteless."
"Maybe so," he whispered leaning in toward her, "but you know it is true."
Olivia stared into his eyes for a moment.
"Seriously. Why don't you come by later and let me take that dress off of you? You could keep me up all night….or we could make love and fall asleep in each other's arms. Whatever you like."
"Elliot….I am going out with Alex tonight. We have tried really hard these last few months to make this work and this is important to her. Don't you think maybe I might be going home with her tonight?"
"I could always drop by there. You know, for old time sake."
"I don't think so."
"You guys have been working hard at this, huh?"
"Yes, we have," she replied flipping back her hair to put on a dangly earring.
"So while you were working hard did you happen to mention to her that you are still sleeping with me?"
"I'm not sleeping with you. I haven't been for about…."
"Six weeks and three days."
Olivia's eyes shot up and she stared at him.
"You didn't tell her?" he asked reading the look on her face.
"No, I didn't."
"Don't you think you should? I mean if you guys are gonna give it a real go here. This is something she aught to know, isn't it? The truth."
"It only happened a couple of times. And maybe I don't plan on it happening again."
"It was a couple dozen times. And it will happen again."
"How do you know that?"
"You said it yourself, Olivia. You love her, but there is just something she cannot provide. Something that you apparently get from me….oh, I'd say about twice a week for months."
"I know what I did to her wasn't right, Elliot. I really do love her."
"I know you do."
"But I can't tell her. I can't hurt her like that."
"Olivia, lying to her and cheating on her is hurting her, too."
"I'm not cheating on her! Anymore…. And I'm not even sure it is going to work out between us. We have been trying to make it work. But I think I am going to try to break it off. I'm going to talk to her tonight after the show."
"You are gonna go out on a date with her and then dump her?"
"She already got the tickets, El. What am I supposed to do?"
"I'm probably not the best person to be giving relationship advice."
"Good point."
"I do know how many people could have gotten hurt when you and I screwed around while I was still married. Luckily, the kids never found out about it. But cheating hurts everyone involved, Liv. In some way. I'll admit I might be just a little biased here."
"Why would you be biased?"
"I don't know. I guess a part of me still holds on to the hope that if this thing doesn't work out with you and Alex…." he stopped for a moment and smiled at her. "Maybe I'd get my girl back."
"El…."
"It doesn't help, I know."
"Not really. We tried the relationship thing and it was not that great. The sex….that we're good at."
"But we never gave the relationship a fair shot. Not once. The first time we were together I was married and now….now you're with Alex."
"There is no now with you and I. What we had a few weeks ago is over. The fling, the affair, whatever. I am with Alex now. Elliot, I still don't completely know where this thing with her is going. So if you are holding on to some secret hope that it will end and I'll run off with you….I can't even think about us right now."
"I understand that. I'm just thinking that if for some reason it doesn't work out, maybe we could give it a shot sometime."
"Maybe," she replied patting him on the back.
"So all of that aside, what is it that makes you think it may not work out?"
"I'm crazy about her. I love her. I just don't know if that is enough."
"Enough for what?"
"For a future. As much as I care about Alex, I still really want to get married and have kids someday. I want to be a mother. And I am not sure if I love her enough to walk away from that dream."
"There are ways to have both."
"I don't even know if Alex wants kids."
"It sounds like the two of you have some serious talking to do."
"Yeah," she exhaled slowly. "And if I don't get going I am going to be late."
"Liv?" he called to her as she pulled on her jacket and headed for the elevator.
"Yeah?"
"Good luck."
She smiled softly and tipped her head to the side as she looked back at him.
"Thanks."
Elliot knew that it would kill him to lose her completely. And if she was able to work things out with Alex, that was exactly what was going to have to happen. He would have to give her up, sexually, anyway and give up any hope of a future relationship. No more fooling around or secretly wishing she were his. He would have to return to being her friend and only her friend. And as hard as it was going to be for him, this was a sacrifice that he was willing to make if it was what would truly make her happy. Because above all, her happiness was the only one thing that really mattered to him.
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The next day Olivia was quiet and barely spoke to anyone. She sat at her desk and didn't even look up at her partner and this made Elliot very nervous.
"Hey, how did it go last night?"
"The show was good," she replied softly without looking at him.
"I don't really give a damn about the show, Liv. How did the other thing go? The talk with you and Alex. Did it go alright?"
Olivia looked up and their eyes met, but what he saw nearly broke his heart. It was obvious she was fighting back tears because they were starting to slip down her cheeks. She blinked and just shook her head.
"Why don't we find a quiet place to talk?"
"Okay," she agreed and followed Elliot down the hall to the locker room.
Inside Elliot locked the door behind them and Olivia sat down on the wooden bench. She stared up at him as she took a deep breath and tried to figure out the best way to explain the situation.
"You broke up?" he asked.
"I don't really know. I don't think so."
"What happened?"
"I told her what I told you yesterday. I want to get married and have kids."
"And what did she say?"
"At first it was kind of an argument. I guess I caught her off guard with marriage and kids thing."
"So she doesn't want kids?"
"She never really said that."
"What did she say?"
"She said there are ways. And if I wanted a baby we could always adopt."
"There you go."
"I told her I don't want to adopt. I want to be pregnant, Elliot. I want to experience every part of being a mother." She drew a deep breath as she wiped away a tear from her cheek. "I want to feel my baby moving inside of me. I don't want to give up that dream."
"She has to understand that. What happened?"
"She said we should have a baby."
"She did?"
Olivia nodded.
"We have an appointment this afternoon to visit a clinic. Some routine stuff. A few tests and then we'll sit down and pick out a donor. If all goes well in three weeks I will undergo invitro and hopefully get pregnant."
"This is all happening a little fast isn't it?"
"It is. But it's my dream. So I should go for it, right?"
"Yes. But not until you are sure that now is the right time for you. Maybe this isn't such a great idea."
"You don't think so?"
"I think you should do whatever makes you happy. I just wonder if this is the best time to add a baby to the mix. I mean as of last night you weren't sure if you were even going to make it as a couple. How are you guys going to raise a child together if something happens that you split up?"
Olivia looked at him as her eyes widened, she hadn't thought of that.
"The same way I would if I had a baby with any one of the guys I dated, I guess. We would share custody. Look, I don't have all of the details worked out yet. I still kind of cant believe this is all happening."
"Well, if this is what you want….I hope it all works out for you, Olivia. You deserve to be happy."
"Thanks, El. Ahh," she said looking at her reflection in the mirror, "I'm a wreck. I have to go in to court in an hour, I should get cleaned up."
"Alright, I'll leave you to it then. And Liv…."
"Yeah?"
"If you ever need anything, even if it is just someone to talk to, I'll be here. You know that, right?"
"Yeah."
Elliot walked back out to his desk. He wasn't sure if this was the best of ideas for Olivia and he was afraid she would end up getting hurt. But she was an adult and he had to step back and let her live her life. He knew he was going to be here for her no matter how this turned out.
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FOUR DAYS LATER….
Olivia sat on her sofa looking through a stack of papers when the door bell rang.
"Come in, El."
Elliot laughed and pushed the door open.
"I brought food."
"You did?"
"Well, Alex is out of town for the night and I was afraid you might starve to death."
"Very funny. What did you bring?"
"Chinese food and beer."
"My favorite."
"Of course. So what is this?" He asked looking at the papers.
"The candidates. Or the final five as Alex calls them. She and I narrowed it down to this group and she said the rest is my decision."
"Kind of dumping all of the important parts on you, isn't she?"
"No, she just wants to make sure that I get what I want from this."
"Are you?"
"What?"
"Getting what you want?
"Well, if all goes well by this time next year one of these four guys will be the father of my baby."
"Lets see what you've got here."
Elliot picked up the four profiles and began to read through them.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked looking over at her.
"Sure."
"Have you ever noticed how every one of these guys are doctors or lawyers? They are all tall and have great genes with a high IQ."
"What are you trying to say?"
"This is bullshit."
"I don't understand."
"I'm saying that I am sure that big shot doctors and lawyers take time out from their busy schedules to jerk off into a little plastic cup. How do you know that any of the information on these pages is accurate?"
"The donors give personal background information. But it is confidential and they cannot release it to me. That is just how this works."
"Olivia, random guys off the street walk into these places to make a quick buck. They spend five minutes scribbling down whatever on those pages and ten minutes in a little room looking at a dirty magazine. Half an hour later they walk out the door fifty bucks richer. Is this really the kind of guy you want to father your child, Liv? You are better than that. Your baby deserves better than that."
"Elliot, millions of women do this every year. Billions of babies have been born this way. I wouldn't be the first."
"No….Liv, what if something happened? Like some kind of medical thing? You never know about these things. I mean you don't know much about this man's medical history. You have no way to meet him, you know nothing about him at all. What if some day your baby needs something like bone marrow or I don't know….whatever and you have no idea who his father even is?"
Olivia just sat there speechless looking slightly terrified, Elliot had just burst her bubble.
"Couldn't you have simply said that you think it is a bad idea?"
"I want you to be happy. If this is what you want…."
"It is. This is what I want. So if you are not going to sit down here and help me decide which one of these men hopefully father my child, then maybe it is best you leave now."
Olivia stared at him from her seat on the sofa as she took the papers from his hand. Elliot studied the seriousness of the look in her eyes as he stood there contemplating his next move. It was obvious that he had been confused from the start about this entire situation. This was never about him or Alex. Every single thing that had happened over the last several months was about Olivia. This was her life, her relationship, no matter who she chose to share it with and this child would be her baby. And no matter how the hand was played out before him, Elliot fully intended to be a constant in his best friend's life and in the life of her son or daughter.
Olivia watched as a smile slowly spread across his face and he took his usual seat beside her on the sofa.
"So you're in?" Olivia asked with a smile.
"Of course I'm in. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
Olivia smiled her beautiful smile as she spread the information packets out between them. That night they sat on her sofa together drinking beer and eating beef and broccoli while Elliot helped her to make one of the most important decisions of her life.