The Proposal

(Chapter Eight: Heart To Heart)

"Liv? They are waiting," Alex said as Olivia scanned her eyes over the parking lot once more in search of Elliot's car.

"I just really thought he would be here," she said softly looking down at her cell phone as she dialed his number once more.

"Maybe something came up. Liv, they are not going to wait much longer. If he isn't here by now, he probably isn't coming."

"You're right," she holding back her tears of disappointment. "Let's go see our baby."

Olivia smoothed her hand over her barely visible baby bump as she followed Alex back into the building. They laughed and cried and discussed plans for the future as they watched the baby moving around on the monitor. Olivia had never been happier than she was right now. But under all of the smiles and laughter lingered just a bit of sadness. In all of the time she had thought of this moment, she always imagined Elliot would be right there beside her holding her hand through it all. Apparently reality was very different from the stuff in her dreams.

That evening Olivia was alone in Alex's apartment. She sat curled up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and a throw blanket as she spoke to Alex on the phone.

"Do you know when you will be home?" Olivia asked, growing tired of spending so much time alone.

"I'm really not sure. I have a ton of work to get finished before court in the morning. This is likely to be an all nighter. Liv, I'm sorry I had to leave right after the appointment. I just have so much going on right now. I honestly didn't think I would be able to make that."

"At least you were there. And I really appreciate that," Olivia said picking up the baby's sonogram picture to look at it once more. "I cannot believe that in just over four months we are going to have a baby."

"I know," Alex said softly. "After the appointment today, I don't know. It all seems so much more real now. Look, I am trying to get things caught up at work so that I can take a little time off when you have the baby. But to do that, I have to work a lot right now."

"I understand."

"have you heard from Elliot, yet?"

"No. And I am kind of starting to worry. This really isn't like him."

"Maybe he ended up working or doing something with the kids. I am sure there is a logical reason."

"You're probably right. Listen, I'm getting tired and it has been a long day. I think I'm gonna go take a bath and head on to bed. I will see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe we can grab lunch together."

"Sounds great, Lex. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Olivia hung up her phone and laid it on the table beside the remote control. Half an hour later she awoke to the buzzing of the doorbell. She groaned a little and sat up looking around the room.

"I'm coming," she mumbled as she stumbled across the room. "I said I'm coming," she shouted as she pulled the door open and stood face to face with Elliot.

"Well, hello to you too."

"It is past ten. What are you doing here?"

Elliot stepped inside and handed her a dozen white roses and a teddy bear.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome," he whispered placing a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. "I went by your place first and no one was home. You weren't answering your cell, so I came by here."

"My cell? I fell asleep watching television. Again, what are you doing here?"

"You're upset?"

"No. I mean, I don't see why I should be. We're not together," she said turning and walking away from him.

"I was gonna go. I took the time off work and I was in the car driving across town."

Olivia looked back at him.

"Then what stopped you?"

"I thought about it. I thought about you and the baby. And you and Alex. And Alex and the baby. And I realized that she is this baby's father. Not me."

"Elliot…."

"You said it yourself. You and I are not together. You are with Alex and this is what I agreed to when you and I decided to start trying to get pregnant."

"You are always going to be a part of this baby's life."

"What part, Liv?"

"I don't know. It isn't like there is a handbook for this kind of situation."

"No, there isn't."

"I thought you would have been there."

"I thought that maybe you and Alex would want that moment to be private. I know she isn't happy about how much I am involved already. So I decided to give her that. I knew you weren't going to be there alone. I thought maybe she would like to be the one there when you found out the sex of the baby."

"That was sweet of you. But you could have called me. Or answered my calls and let me know what was going on."

"I should have explained it to you. I didn't mean to disappoint you."

"I know," she said softly.

Olivia sat down beside Elliot on the sofa and handed him the sonogram picture.

"Wow," Elliot said smiling down at the baby's profile.

"It's a boy," Olivia said combing her fingers through her hair and watching his reaction.

"A boy?"

"Yeah. And he is healthy and beautiful."

"He is beautiful."

"It was amazing. Seeing him moving around on that screen. And kicking like crazy. His heart beat was so fast, over a hundred beats a minute. My doctor said that is normal, healthy."

"God, Olivia. I should have been there. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I have another appointment in a few weeks. You can go to that one."

"It's a date. A boy?"

"A boy," she repeated.

"Have the two of you talked about names?"

"Not yet. We have only known for a few hours we were having a boy. And Alex had to go to work shortly after we got home from my appointment."

"She's working a lot lately."

"She is trying to get things set up so that she can take some time off when I have the baby."

"Sounds like she is really coming around."

"She is. She's excited. We even started cleaning out the office down the hall to set up a nursery."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Alex said she doesn't really do much work from there anyway. We are going to paint this weekend, then go pick out furniture."

"You must be so excited."

"Aren't you?"

"Of course. But I know that you have wanted this for so long. You are finally going to be a mother. You are going to have a son."

"So are you," she said looking at him across the sofa. "Look El, I know that Alex kind of pushes you into the background and sort of just expects you to disappear. But I don't want that. I want you to be a part of this baby's life. A big part. This baby doesn't only have two parents. He has three. You are his father. And I am not going to let anyone or anything change that. This is your son, too."

"Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, I thought this baby was supposed to be for you and Alex."

"For me and Alex? You make him sound like a gift you bought me at a souvenir shop downtown. If you don't want to be involved, I understand that, too. I just assumed that you would be a part of this."

"And I will. Of course I want to be his father. I am crazy about this kid. I just wasn't sure what you wanted, where you stood on this and I didn't want to step on any toes."

Olivia smiled and laid her head against his shoulder.

"You are not stepping on any toes. You are exercising your rights as a parent. If I didn't want this baby to have his father in his life I would have just stuck with one of the guys from that donor catalogue. This is the most amazing thing in my life. I am going to have a baby. I want to share this with my best friend. You are the only person in the entire world who understands me. You are the only one who knows who I really am. And I don't want to do without that. I don't think that I ever could."

"What about Alex?"

"Alex and I have something very special. I love her and I know that she loves me. But you are my best friend."

"I'm right here beside you, Liv. And I am going to be, no matter what."

"Good," she said with a soft smile, "because I probably need you more now than ever."

"How does Alex feel about me being around all of the time?"

"She will get used to it. If she cares for me and cares for this baby, then she will want what is best for the two of us. And part of what is best, is having you in our lives."

"So tell me more about this little man," he said as she placed his band on her belly.

"Well, he is due June twenty second. And he kicks a lot," she laughed.

"And the doctor said everything is going good with the pregnancy?"

"Yeah, she said that I am right on track and that everything seems to be doing fine."

"That is good. She isn't worried about you gaining weight."

"Why would she be?" Olivia asked.

"It just doesn't seem like you have gained that much weight. Like maybe you should be bigger than you are or maybe you are not eating enough."

"I eat all of the time, Elliot."

"Right. And what kind of groceries does she have in here," he said walking into the kitchen to open the practically empty refrigerator. "I see butter and one egg."

Olivia laughed.

"We eat out a lot. And you worry too much."

"Liv, you are my best friend and this is our son. It is my job to worry."

"And you do it well."

"What did you have for dinner?"

"Food," she said with a smile.

"Smart ass."

"Alex and I had dinner before she had to go back to work."

Elliot stared at her waiting for details.

Olivia laughed.

"I ordered roast beef. Mashed potatoes and gravy, steamed vegetables and a side salad. I eat healthy for the baby."

"For the baby?"

"Yeah, like normally I probably would have gotten a double cheeseburger and fries. With a large milk shake."

"I have never known you to eat like that."

"Well, that is what I was craving. But I know that the steamed vegetables are much better for the baby than all of that fried stuff."

"You are thinking like a mommy already."

"I really want to be a good mom. And I want to do everything that I can to make sure this baby gets everything that he needs"

"I think that you are already an amazing mother. And I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to meet this kid."

"Me either," she said with a yawn.

"Is Alex not coming home tonight?"

"She's working. I probably wont see her until tomorrow."

"I should probably get going so you can get some rest. I just wanted to come over here and see you. I didn't want you to think that I wasn't thinking about you and about the baby today. I just thought that maybe you guys could use that moment alone together."

"Thank you, for considering us. But I really wish you had been there. I don't want you to miss out on this."

"I will be there. I promise. From now on. Every appointment and every sonogram. Delivery and every milestone and birthday. I want to be his father, Olivia. But I am trying to allow you and Alex the space to be a couple having a baby."

"And I appreciate that."

"Does Alex? I mean, does she even notice?"

"She notices. I am not sure she knows how this is supposed to go either. You are the only one of the three of us who has been through any of this before. She and I are still kind of learning as we go."

"Do you think you are ready for this?"

"I think I am. I hope I am."

"I have faith in you. I think that by the time this little guy gets here you will be as ready as anyone can be."

"What does that mean?"

"Liv, this is baby number six for me and if there is one thing I have learned it is that no matter how ready you think you are, there will come a time when you will second guess yourself. I know without a doubt that you are going to be an amazing mother."

"It means a lot to me that you feel that way."

"Liv, if I didn't think you would be a good mom, I never would have agreed to have a baby with you. Things may be a little strange now, but I know that they are going to be okay."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"And no matter what happens…." Elliot began as he stared into her eyes.

Olivia looked back at him and nodded her head, fully understanding what he was trying to say.

"It's late. I will see you at work tomorrow?"

"Yes," she replied with a smile.

"Okay. Sleep good," Elliot said kissing her forehead. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night, El. Thank you for the flowers."

Olivia watched as Elliot waved to her and made his way out the door. She smiled and hugged the bear that Elliot bought for their unborn son.

"That was your daddy," she said smoothing her hand over her baby bump. "And he is the most amazing guy that I have ever met. I know that things are probably going to get confusing from time to time. But no matter what happens, your mommy and daddy will always love you more than anything in the world."