Worth Living For, Act I

by Elianda

After the tragic events of Mindoir and Akuze, Marco Shepard has grown so accustomed to the abyss that the idea of falling into it doesn't scare him anymore. And when someone no longer fears death, being 'willing to die for someone' becomes hollow words… But this time, he may just have found someone to live for...

8. Chapter 8

Worth Living For,

Act I

by Elianda (a.k.a. Cygnonymous & TheLostGirl21)

SPOILERS: Everything up to and including Mass Effect 3's ending.

SUMMARY: After the tragic events of Mindoir and Akuze, Marco Shepard has grown so accustomed to the abyss that the idea of falling into it doesn't scare him anymore. And when someone no longer fears death, being 'willing to die for someone' becomes hollow words… But this time, he may just have found someone to live for...

DISCLAIMERS: All the characters in the story belong to Bioware, and whoever else has the rights on Mass Effect. Some quotes will directly be borrowed from the games.

Anything about Marco Shepard that isn't already part of the default character, including his personality and elements of his back story, was created by Cygnonymous.

WARNING: Certain chapters may contain more mature situations such as thoughts related to depression and suicidal intent, descriptions of violence, and sex between two loving and consenting adults.

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Chapter 8

Shepard awoke to the familiar hum of the Normandy's drive core, eyes easing open to see the dim strip lighting of the med bay overhead. He could hear a gentle beeping sound somewhere to his left, and he didn't even have to look to know it was the sound of a heart monitor. He never thought he'd enjoy the sound of it, but it was soothing and it reminded him that he was still alive. That they were still alive.

Right?

The beeping sped up for a fraction of a moment as he felt a surge of panic, immediately grabbing for the railing of the gurney so he could pull himself up enough to look around the room. He released a shaky breath when he realized that he wasn't alone, and that Kaidan was just barely over an arm's length away from him, prone in his own bed and eyes closed.

He allowed himself to lay back down with some regret, wishing he could get up and go over to the other man but knowing he'd have the wrath of Chakwas upon him the moment his feet hit the floor. Not that he'd even be able to stand without immediately falling back down – there was an immense pain in his feet, lower legs, and hands, and grasping at the gurney railing as he had only amplified the initial dull ache into full blown pain. He knew the ache was a good thing, however – his hands and lower legs had been rendered completely numb by the cold and settling hypothermia, and he realized that he was lucky nothing had broken off or shattered. He bit down the pain long enough to wiggle each finger and toe in turn, mentally counting them off and only breathing a sigh of relief when he realized they were all intact.

He stared up at the ceiling for a while, listening intently to the sound of Kaidan breathing slowly and evenly not that far away from him, only punctuated by the sound of their heart monitors beeping in the silence of the med bay. He took a deep breath to steady himself, to try and keep his emotions under control – they were alive. They were okay. They had survived, and he didn't want to die anymore, and he'd found something so very very important that he would fight for all he was worth to preserve it.

He felt his eyes begin to burn and he tried to blink away the urge to cry again. He was too fragile to handle his emotions right now, slowly but surely remembering everything that had transpired before he'd finally lost consciousness. Remembering every word exchanged, every revelation, every feeling, every touch, the way Kaidan's lips felt against his own, the way Kaidan's hands felt as they traced the scars on his back…

He released the breath he could no longer hold, shuddering with effort and closing his eyes. What was he going to do about this? About them? They had a mission to take care of that had far reaching implications for the galaxy itself, and if they failed, there was a very real possibility that there would be no second chances. No do-overs. No future. He loved Kaidan, but the mission was far too important, far too critical to become compromised due to emotional connection.

Maybe emotional connection was what he had needed from the start, though – he'd been so intent on throwing himself into the line of fire as per usual that he'd failed to even consider the ramifications, the idea that he was important enough of a figure in the grand scheme of things that his death might mean failure for the rest of them. He wasn't so deluded that he would believe that his death would result in the destruction of the galaxy as a whole, but Kaidan had been right before. If he died, there was a very real possibility that the mission would fail.

He didn't want to die. He wanted to live. He wanted to be able to find the place he belonged. He wanted to be with Kaidan. He wanted to be able to complete the mission, if only to spend a week at a quiet lake in B.C. with the man he'd only just realized he was unequivocally in love with. He wanted to make the galaxy a safer place for everyone so they would never have to lose like he had, and so they would have the opportunity to grow, to move forward, and to find what he had found. Everyone deserved that chance, and he was going to give it to them, no matter what.

"You know, you two are free to come visit me whenever you like, Commander. My door is always open," Dr. Chakwas' voice broke him from his thoughts, the woman in question walking into the med bay with a large box clutched in her hands. She paused long enough to set it on her desk, before crossing over to check on Kaidan's monitor. She smiled to herself, apparently satisfied with the readings, making sure that the I.V. was still working properly and that the Lieutenant wasn't showing any sign of pain or distress. She then walked over to Shepard's bedside.

"You don't actually need to get shot, frozen, or hit by alien devices to make me feel useful on board this ship," she teased, lowering one of the railings and sitting on the edge of his gurney, taking one of his hands in her own to peel aside the bandaging and check how well the tissue regeneration on the healing frostbite was progressing. "Though I suppose the field trip was a nice change of pace…" she added, keeping her voice as light as possible.

Despite her choice of humor, it was clear that she was worried. Caring for soldiers was a very rewarding, but also very difficult task. Every doctor was confronted with the prospect of having to lose patients every now and then, but unless they worked in the military, most didn't have to deal with patients that willingly put their lives on the line to protect others on a near daily basis; nor were they given time to forge deeper and more personal bonds with those under their care.

On a ship, they all worked, ate, and lived together, sharing close quarters the whole time. So while she was able to keep a professional attitude and maintain certain boundaries, some level of emotional attachment was also inevitable.

"But how are you feeling?" she asked, taking in his general appearance and using a small flashlight to test the pupillary response as she spoke.

"Pretty good for someone who's gone into cardiac arrest and had hypothermia all in one day," Shepard responded with a slight smile, voice still hoarse and dry. He cleared his throat, wincing when his ribs gave a twinge of pain. His chest still hurt a bit from where Kaidan had accidentally cracked a couple of ribs during CPR, but it was more of a dull ache than a stabbing pain. Chakwas had probably given him a medigel injection while he was out, allowing the fracture to knit itself back together.

He looked past the doctor when she was done checking his eyes, towards Kaidan's bed, worry settling across his expression for a moment. "What about Kaidan? Is he going to be okay?"

"Lieutenant Alenko is going to be fine," she immediately answered with a knowing smile, unable to hide the slight amusement in her eyes. "He was a bit more dehydrated, with lower electrolytes and blood glucose levels; but I suppose it had something to do with the overheated implant." She was going to inquire a bit more about it, having already guessed that they had encountered a situation where Kaidan had been forced to push the biotics past his usual limits… but catching the fleeting guilty look crossing the Commander's features, she decided that it was the type of information that could wait.

"It's all gone back to normal now, though I'd like him to keep the biotics offline for the rest of the day," she instructed, before she seemed to reconsider. "Actually, that goes for you, too." Though Shepard's condition was also stabilized, his body had sustained a fairly high level of stress. In fact, the likeliness of CPR being successful enough to restart a heart on its own was close to none. She supposed that the application of heat had helped re-warm the major organs, including the brain, thus allowing the autonomic nervous system to resume functioning, but still… The fact that Kaidan had been able to reanimate him without any more apparent complication was almost nothing short of a miracle.

"I'd appreciate if you two could take things easy for the next twenty-four hours, and avoid any unnecessary stress. Do you think I can trust you to be reasonable and do that?" she asked pointedly, remembering how heated things had become the last time that Kaidan and Shepard had found themselves alone in the med bay. "Need I remind you that you're not the one that was stuck having to deal with a brooding and moody L2 afterwards," she added with a little smirk, letting him know that she wasn't actually mad at them – she was simply concerned about their well-being, especially given their present condition.

A somewhat sheepish look crossed Shepard's face at that, and he looked away in embarrassment. "I don't plan on having any more shouting matches, that's for certain. I'm just glad he's okay, especially after everything he's been through," he said, before giving Chakwas a nervous smile. "Thank you, doctor. For everything."

To be honest, he was a bit unnerved by the look she was giving him – that all-knowing smirk, like she could see things he wasn't even aware he was broadcasting. It made him feel exposed, and he couldn't help but feel another small surge of panic when he found himself wondering whether Ashley had told her what she had seen. Though he trusted her not to have told anyone… Chakwas was such a motherly figure that he wouldn't put it past her to have deduced it on her own. He and Kaidan had been giving off some pretty strong signals in the past, despite having no knowledge of the fact.

"Don't worry about it, Commander. Besides, I know that 'shouting match' definitely wasn't one sided. Kaidan can have quite a temper," she said, unable to resist laughing a little. "He appears so calm and collected most of the time that it usually takes people completely off-guard when the gloves come off, too. I think that he may have won a few arguments simply on the element of surprise."

She appeared pensive for a moment, however. "You know, I'm truly glad that he was assigned to your command," she said suddenly, her expression softening a little. "After losing Jenkins, I must admit that I was scared Alenko was going to start sectioning himself from the rest of the crew," she added, remembering how remote he used to be when they had first met. Never to the point of being disagreeable, of course; Kaidan had always worked extremely well with the rest of his team on the battlefield. But he otherwise appeared to have trouble letting other people in. Jenkins had succeeded in making him come out of his shell a little, but she'd always felt that, even then, there was a part of himself that the Lieutenant still solidly kept locked inside.

"But here he is. Making friends, participating in the crew's activities on board, training with an asari biotic, and probably smiling and laughing more than I've ever seen him do," she stated, obviously pleased with that turn of events. "And I believe most of it is your doing, Commander."

A surprised look flashed across Shepard's face at that, and he tried to sit up a bit more so he could better address the doctor sitting next to him – he winced with the effort, however, and was forced to remain mostly prone. "Really?" he asked, voice suddenly quiet. "I did that for him?"

After seeing firsthand the negative impacts he'd had on Kaidan, it was difficult for him to even imagine that he might have influenced something good for the Lieutenant. Not when he could only recall the pain he'd put him through when he'd abandoned him after their argument, or the sheer stress he'd forced upon his shoulders with his reckless battlefield tactics and disregard for his own life.

Even then, despite the pain and the negativity, he couldn't discount Chakwas' observations. He knew he'd at the very least helped Kaidan to open up more, encouraging him to speak about things he'd previously kept buried, and to bare emotions he most likely hadn't shown in years.

And he must have done something right if it meant that Kaidan had fallen in love with him.

It was a humbling feeling, enough to make him feel simultaneously so small and yet so very important, knowing that despite his issues, his internal turmoil and instability, he'd brought something good out of the other man. Something he loved so very, very much. And he knew that Kaidan had done the same for him, bringing out parts of him that he wouldn't have known even existed.

Shepard laid his head back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, taking in a shaking breath to steady himself before he looked over to Chakwas again. "My whole crew is important to me – they always have been. But, Kaidan… he's something else," he said, breaking off into a soft laugh and shaking his head slightly. "I feel… I feel like a different person because of him. And I like the new me a lot better. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I agree with you, doctor. I'm glad he was assigned to my command, too."

She nodded softly. Though she hadn't served with the Commander for long, she seemed to understand what he was saying. Perhaps even a little bit more than Shepard would have liked. But, on that subject, she preferred to remain discreet. The last thing she wanted was for him to become self-conscious or start acting differently around Kaidan in order to avoid suspicion. As far as she was concerned, their "friendship" was having a positive effect on them both, and even benefitting the rest of the crew.

"Then I guess we have Captain Anderson to thank for pushing so hard to make it happen," she said instead, returning the Commander's smile. "Since biotics are pretty rare, even within the military, the Alliance initially wasn't too keen on letting him have two of their most powerful ones on the same team," Dr. Chakwas began explaining, remembering some of the arguments the Captain had with Admiral Hackett on the subject.

"But with talks of you being considered as a Spectre candidate – the first human Spectre, no less – they figured that you might need a pretty solid team at your disposal to make sure that this opportunity wouldn't fail. Besides, Alenko frustrated him to no end," she added, laughing good-naturedly at the slightly confused and surprised look that Shepard threw her way.

"Anderson has always enjoyed keeping an eye out for talent. Despite his service record and numerous commendations, he still believed that Kaidan was holding back, and not using his skills and leadership capabilities to their full potential. I think his exact words were 'It's like this kid is still waiting for his life to begin.' So I believe that he was looking for an assignment that would provide him with new and bigger challenges – throw him out of his comfort zone a little bit." She knew him well enough to know that this was basically the Captain's equivalent of a good kick in the butt. Crude, but usually effective.

"I received an e-mail from him recently. He's been reading your mission reports, and is very pleased with what he's seeing. Especially the fact that Alenko and the rest of your squad are responding so remarkably well to your style of leadership," she said with a confident smile. "The rest of it was basically him complaining about paperwork, Udina's lack of perspective, and his urge to punch some sense into him. Literally," Dr. Chakwas added with a laugh. Shepard snickered under his breath, but quickly covered the sound by clearing his throat.

"So, as long as you feel that you've still got use for him, continue to keep him close, Commander," she said, looking fondly in the direction of the still slumbering Lieutenant. "Even on a professional level, it seems you've found a way to unlock Kaidan's true potential."

Shepard followed her line of sight, watching the other man as he lay there, unconscious and oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. His facial features were relaxed and his hair was slightly mussed and loose from its usual style, a few stray wisps of black curling across his forehead. A small part of him wished he could lie down next to him and stroke his hair, touch his face, slide his arms around him again and lay his head against his shoulder and forget for a few hours that there were responsibilities to be had and duties to be done outside of those med bay doors.

He shook his head slightly to dislodge the thoughts, realizing a little too late that Chakwas had turned back to him and could practically see the gears turning in his head as he watched the other man. She had that knowing smile again, and Shepard was lucky he didn't start blushing in embarrassment.

"I'm glad that Anderson did that for us—for him. Kaidan's got so much potential, and he's one of the most talented soldiers I've served with," he said, a slight smile working across his lips as he looked back over at the Lieutenant. "I'm really looking forward to what the future holds for all of us, once we finish this mission."

"Well, for now, let's make sure that we all get there," Dr. Chakwas said with a smile, before getting up and going to get the box that she'd previously been carrying when entering the med bay.

"And I'm sorry to say that not only do I want you two to keep the biotics offline for the next twenty-four hours, but you will also need to remain confined to your beds. Your feet and legs suffered severe frostbite, and I don't want to see you walking around while tissue regeneration is in progress," she explained, putting the box on the corner of his bedside table. "Thankfully, the rest of the crew decided to put a few things together to help Kaidan and you pass the time while 'trapped' in here…" she added as she removed a few items from the box, setting them on the table for him.

"So, let's see… We have a deck of cards… A few electronic board games… Magazines – Eezo Trend, Smart Credits, Ship & Pilot..." She paused, unable to resist laughing at the next item she pulled from the box. "The Genit-Elcor specialty edition of Fornax," she said, placing the hard copy directly on top of Shepard's covers. "I believe this one's from Garrus. Personally, the pictures in there remind me far too much of my old xenobiology classes."

A disbelieving look crossed Shepard's face, and he snatched up the magazine from the bed. "I'm beginning to question Garrus' sense of humor," he said, a look somewhere between shock and mock disgust crossing his face as he looked over the cover of the magazine in question. He squinted at the picture spread on the front. "Remind me what xenobiology textbooks have elcor wearing bikinis? At least… I think that's a bikini. I'm not sure."

"Hmmm… Let's see," Dr. Chakwas said, taking the magazine from Shepard's hands and turning it a bit sideways, trying to get a better look at the cover. "I think it is… May have been digitally added, too," she commented, before dropping it back on the table, on top of the others. "The 'good stuff' is usually inside, though, but I'll let you figure it out in private," she teased, before putting the now empty box away, and coming back to check on Shepard's I.V. line, making sure it was still permeable.

"I've set up the PCA pump so that you can control the amount of analgesic you need while the tissues regenerate. I should warn you that it can get quite painful," she explained, handing him a small handset with a red button on top of it. "If the pain becomes too uncomfortable, all you need to do is push the button to administer the next dose of pain killers. The machine will automatically stop giving more medication and alert me via omnitool if you ask for more doses than what has already been programmed," the doctor specified, so that Shepard wouldn't be afraid to accidentally take too much, and try to "tough it out" needlessly. "If that happens, I'll simply come back here and readjust it."

"Your radio set to contact me is right here," she said handing him the device. "So if you need anything – food, a ride to the bathroom, an extra pillow, or just anyone specific to come to the med bay – you can always ask."

She then walked over to Kaidan's gurney, lowered the railing on its left side, and unlocked the small wheels at its bottom. Once that was done, she delicately pushed it snug against Shepard's own, and locked the wheels again.

"Here. If you want to play cards or a board game later on, it will probably be easier for you two not to have to start throwing stuff from one bed to the next," she said with a gentle smile. "Oh, and since extreme changes in body temperature tend to trigger severe migraines, I gave Lieutenant Alenko a higher dose of sedatives to let him sleep off the worst of it. So don't be surprised or worried if it still takes him at least one or two hours to come to," she explained, while looking around to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything.

"I think that's it. I've instructed the rest of the crew that visitors weren't allowed until later in the afternoon. Thought you two might appreciate some time to yourselves to properly recover from your experience without having to endure Wrex's overexcited questions about that thresher maw's defeat. He's been bending our ears with that ever since we found it," she said with an amused if slightly exasperated laugh. "I think he wants to make you honorary krogan."

Shepard snorted, shaking his head. "Sounds like Wrex. He'll have to wait for Kaidan to come to if he wants to hear that story – I wasn't conscious for that part," he explained, before he had to look away for a moment to hide the guilty look creeping across his features. "He saved my life out there."

"I see…" Dr. Chakwas began, appearing deep in thought. "Well, if anyone asks, that must be because of that concussion you suffered following the maw's initial attack – probably hit your head pretty hard on the dashboard. I'll try not to forget to add it to my report," she finally said with a compassionate smile, having obviously made up her mind about that situation.

Of course, she knew better than anyone that Shepard hadn't actually suffered any head injury, leaving one very obvious explanation as to why he would have been unconscious or more likely "unresponsive" when the thresher maw came out. However, it wasn't information that she wanted to force him to reveal to the rest of the crew if he wasn't ready to; especially considering the amount of scrutiny and constant stress that he was already being put under, and the often-unrealistic expectations from the Council and the Alliance's brass.

"However, I'm going to ask you to come here at least once a week for systemic desensitization therapy," she added, still wanting to make sure that he would receive proper treatment to ensure that the same type of acute stress response wouldn't occur again. Thankfully, she had access to high quality realistic simulator programs that could allow Shepard to confront his fears in a perfectly safe environment.

If he refused, then she would have no other choice than to report the situation to his superiors. She wasn't offering to "cover" for him in order to deny the problem; she simply didn't want the matter to become a public spectacle, or something that could be used against him. After everything that Shepard had been through, he deserved to be treated with empathy and respect. However, she had a feeling that the Commander was going to be reasonable on the matter, and was even ready to add one more incentive to make things easier for him.

"You can even ask Kaidan to come with you if he wants to. After what happened out there, he might actually need it," she offered with a smile.

Shepard was completely taken aback at first, not having expected that answer. He'd honestly tried not to think about what the events on Gellix were going to look like in a mission report, and he most definitely hadn't thought about how he was going to explain to his superiors that he was still fully functional despite the fact that he had gone catatonic in a life-or-death situation. It was one thing to lie through his teeth during therapy until his psychiatrist had filled his paperwork with checkmarks; it was a whole other thing to freeze up in the middle of a mission and nearly get himself and his teammates killed.

He struggled in silence for a moment, before he finally answered. "I… appreciate that, doctor. I could definitely use the help, after what happened down there," he said, choosing his words carefully. He finally looked up, smiling weakly. "…Thank you."

"My pleasure. Don't forget to call me if you need anything," she answered, returning his smile. She then turned around and grabbed a few datapads from her desk, throwing another look in his direction to make sure that everything was okay one last time, and giving him a little nod on her way out.

Shepard spent the first half hour or so staring up at the med bay ceiling in complete silence, deep in thought as he sorted through the events that had led to that very moment. It was a confusing process made all the more difficult by the stinging aches and pains in his body, and hitting the control for a dose of pain medicine didn't stop the nagging itch that began to creep across the skin of his hands and feet. He couldn't scratch through the thick bandaging, and the restlessness only served to consistently break him out of his thoughts and remind him that he was stuck here and that Kaidan was still very much unconscious.

And despite it all, he was content with the situation. They had survived. If anything, they could only grow stronger from here on out – and now he had something even more important to look forward to. It was one thing to fight for an ideal, to take a far-reaching motivation and make it his own. It was another thing to find something specific and so very important to live for, something tangible to look forward to. Someone to look forward to. He could say he was fighting for the safety of the galaxy all he wanted but the fact remained that he was only one man, and despite his best efforts there were always going to be things he couldn't do and people he couldn't save. Fighting for Kaidan's sake, for the guarantee that they would see each other again once the battle was over and the armor came off… That was something doable, something tangible with effects that he would be able to feel and benefit from. Something he could look forward to.

And as he lay there, watching Kaidan as he slept, for the first time he knew that the dull ache in his chest wasn't a bad thing.

When his thoughts became too jumbled to properly process anymore, he took to rifling through the things the crew had brought them. The games were all two-player interfaces and there wasn't much he could do with the card deck, and most of the magazines were technological mumbo jumbo and consumer reporting. He finally reached for the Fornax with a look somewhere between intense trepidation and morbid curiosity, picking up the magazine by the cover so that it splayed open. The centerfold spread came tumbling out of it, and Shepard recoiled – before leaning in and staring at the unfolded image, not quite sure if he was supposed to be disgusted or confused.

"Is there something I should know, Commander?" he suddenly heard someone ask next to him, causing him to visibly jump in surprise, the magazine nearly falling from his hands. Kaidan was now very much awake, and looking back at Shepard with an amused smirk and a fair amount of mirth in his eyes, having to bite the inside of his mouth in order to keep from laughing.

He'd awakened only a few moments earlier… Having immediately recognized the now all too familiar effects of the sedatives, and allowing himself some time to calmly take in his surroundings. Thankfully, his mind had developed a pretty solid tolerance to that type of medication, so his thoughts had cleared up reasonably fast, the events from the previous day slowly but surely coming back to him.

He could hear someone shuffling pages close by, and recognized the sound of two sets of heart monitors… So that meant that Shepard had successfully made it back to the Normandy's med bay alive, and was probably fine… As a matter of fact, so was he.

Waiting for his eyes to properly adjust to the light, he'd gently moved his feet, toes, and hands a little, grateful that every limb still appeared to be functional and in its rightful place – though his extremities felt somewhat sore, and were really itching.

Turning his head to his left side, he was initially surprised to see Shepard right there, mere inches from him, lying on his own adjacent gurney in a semi-sitting position. Well, Shepard being there wasn't exactly surprising; it was just the lack of further physical distance between them that he hadn't quite been expecting. Not that he was complaining. On the contrary, he was rather glad and even grateful to have him so close. He was going to say something when he'd noticed what Shepard was looking at…

Wait… Was that a large picture of a spread-eagled naked elcor… wearing nothing but pasties?

To his great credit, Shepard didn't even blush – he very calmly folded the photograph back into the magazine, closing it and laying it across his lap, hands laying palms down across the glossy surface. "I meant to tell you this earlier, but I couldn't find the right time," he began in a serious tone, before looking over and pinning the other man with a somber expression. "I'm an elcorsexual. I hope this doesn't bother you."

It was all Kaidan could do not to burst out in laughter right there, but he was determined to keep playing the game, somehow. "Well I'm glad you're so open about this, Shepard," he stated, struggling to keep his voice as serious as he could and his mouth in a straight line, though the suppressed laughter still shone in his eyes. "I've always had a thing for vorcha, myself. Their voices drive me wild."

He then appeared to give Shepard's confession some further thought. "But elcor? Yeah, I can definitely see the appeal," he added, before he began speaking again, doing his best to keep his voice completely monotonous and his expression neutral:

"With great anticipation: Please remove your pants.

With false sincerity: This is the biggest one I've ever seen.

In ecstasy: Faster… Faster….

Faking orgasm: Ah. Ah. Yes. Ah."

Shepard managed to keep a straight face for the first half of Kaidan's monologue, but that was all he could handle before he had burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. He waved one hand at Kaidan in a desperate attempt to make him stop, the other clutching his chest. "Oh—oh god, don't make me laugh like that, my ribs are killing me," he barely managed to say. "That's it, I'm keeping an eye on your extranet activity. You did that a little too well."

Kaidan's hand immediately flew to his mouth. "Shit. I'm so sorry…" he said, though he was also laughing and having trouble to catch his breath. "I'd completely forgotten about your ribs," he added a bit sheepishly. "If you end up being a bit too trigger happy on the analgesics for the next hour, I'll let Dr. Chakwas know that it was totally my fault, I promise."

He waited for both of them to calm down, before pointing to the Fornax magazine with his finger and asking "Let me guess, Garrus?" Shepard looked back at him with a slightly puzzled expression, cocking one eyebrow in a silent question for Kaidan to explain.

"He's been hiding copies of it underneath Ashley's pillow from time to time," Kaidan said, still smiling. "You'll be glad to learn that, ah… According to Ash," he stressed out, making it clear that this wasn't based on his own personal assessment, "…the drell would be the most compatible alien option for a young heterosexual human female. And that, despite their obvious anatomical differences, turians and humans actually have bodies that can sexually interlock with the opposite gender of each species." He frowned a bit, before reconsidering. "Though I guess it could work for two males, too."

Shepard couldn't keep from grinning a bit at that, giving the other man a sidelong glance. "Oh, really? I know Garrus is pretty attractive for a turian, but I don't think it's worth the allergic reaction," he teased, before setting the Fornax aside on the bedside table and sliding back down into a mostly prone position. It took a little bit of effort, but he managed to turn somewhat over onto his side so he could better face the other man laying next to him.

"How are you feeling, anyway? Things got pretty rough down there."

"Not sure rough is the word I'd use to describe what happened down there…" Kaidan answered quietly, suddenly wondering why his mouth had the habit of blurting out words before his brain had the time to really process them. Staring back into Shepard's gorgeous clear grey eyes, he realized that it was so easy to allow himself to get lost in the moment, and forget about anything else, though. Still, he managed to clear his throat, and tried to force his mind to stay on course. "…but all things considered, I think I'm good, you know. Various aches and throbbing sensations all over – head and feet, especially – but nothing I haven't been able to handle before."

And Shepard was so close. He would only need to reach out a little to circle his waist and upper back with his arms, drawing his body snug against his once again, limbs entwined, mouth seeking soft, luscious lips and…

Kaidan's heart rate suddenly sped up significantly, his monitor picking up the beat with a very fast and lively "beep-beep-beep-beep-beep" sound. Damn it! Breaking eye contact, Kaidan lifted himself up on his elbows, and threw a glare in its direction. "Seriously?" he asked, trying to deflect his embarrassment with humor. He then flipped a little and let himself fall back onto the bed on his stomach, face buried in his pillow.

"How about you Shepard, how are you feeling?" he inquired, voice heavily muffled, refusing to look up or even raise his head to come up for air. "And please forgive me while I casually try to vanish through the ceiling…" he added, while reaching blindly with his hand for the gurney's hydraulic lift control on the side of his railing, activating the one raising the whole bed up.

"Hey, stay down here with me!" Shepard complained, unable to keep from laughing as he lunged to grab for the controls to stop Kaidan from lifting the gurney too high. He managed to hit the button to make him stop, but lost his balance in the process and practically fell across the other man's back. "Ow. Sorry."

Kaidan yelped a little and laughed, not having expected Shepard to climb over him like that to reach the commands on his side. This had given him the courage to finally remove his face from the pillow, though, twisting his head and upper body a little to take a look and make sure the other man was okay; while he pressed the button to bring his gurney back to its initial position.

Shepard pulled back with a slight pained sound, though it disappeared under more embarrassed laughter as he laid a comforting hand on Kaidan's shoulder blade. "And I'm fine," he said, before trailing his hand upwards and gently massaging the base of Kaidan's neck at his hairline, careful to avoid his amp jack. "I'm not the one who overheated his implant reaving a thresher maw to death. Speaking of which, Wrex wants the gruesome details later."

"Of course he does…" Kaidan answered, pouting a little and letting himself fall face forward into the pillow again with a grunt. He was afraid that he would have to disappoint him, though. Telling glorious and exciting battle tales definitely wasn't his forte. He would have been perfectly content to just remain there for the rest of the day, body sinking into the mattress as Shepard gently massaged the back of his neck… But according to his heart rate monitor that was beginning to speed up yet again, he was perhaps starting to enjoy the other man's touch just a tad too much.

He lifted his head up to look back at the offending piece of medical equipment… And, remembering that these things had alarms that could be shut down, smiled evilly at it. "That's it, you're going down," he vowed, trying to evaluate the distance between the gurney and the monitor. It was a bit out of arm's reach… But if he could lean against the railing to support himself just a little, he would probably be able to get to it.

"Okay, I need your help," Kaidan said, turning and sitting up in order to face Shepard, careful not to tear the I.V. from his arm in the process. He figured that Dr. Chakwas would probably be pretty pissed at him if she had to come rushing back into the med bay to install a new one. Come to think of it, she would probably get even angrier if he somehow managed to end up on the floor while trying to stop a stupid alarm. The smart thing, of course, would have been to call her to ask if she could come and shut it off herself…

However, that monitor had made things personal. And he was determined to be the one to have the satisfaction of putting an end to its beeping.

He motioned for Shepard to back up a little so that he could lift the railing on that side of his bed. "Okay, what I need you to do is to hold onto that railing with your elbows…" he began explaining, not wanting him to risk further injury to his hands, "…and throw your weight back a little bit to do a counterweight. I just want to make sure my gurney doesn't end up toppling over." Technically, the beds were pretty solid, but he wasn't quite willing to risk it.

Shepard stared at him for a long moment, not moving to do as he was told and instead arching an eyebrow at the other man, crossing his arms. "And why exactly am I doing this? You're not gonna mess with that monitor. I don't want Chakwas scolding me for being an accessory to your shenanigans, Kaidan."

Kaidan shrugged. "You're not an accessory… You're the responsible man trying to make sure that I'm not breaking my neck while I try to shut off that monitor's alarm," he explained, trying his best to look totally innocent. "Come on, Shepard, that beeping is driving me mad!" he added, while trying to find the right argument to convince him to collaborate.

Before the Commander had time to react, Kaidan quickly brought the railing back down and moved over to the other man's side, grabbing Shepard by the waist and forcing him to lie down on his back, while positioning his upper body on top of his, face mere inches from his, lips almost touching…

Kaidan's self-satisfied smile widened when Shepard's own heart rate monitor began beeping even faster than his. "See…" he whispered huskily, "…it's pretty hard for me to keep my focus on anything else if that thing keeps reminding me of how much I want to—" he stopped, however, eyes widening in shock as he realized what he was doing and saying, and he immediately sat up, breathing hard, face flushed. "I'm sorry," he whispered, avoiding Shepard's gaze, embarrassed to have lost control like that. "…I shouldn't have—"

He didn't get to finish that sentence, however, because Shepard suddenly looped his arms around the back of Kaidan's neck and dragged him back down again, their lips meeting in a forceful, somewhat awkward kiss. They held like that for a long moment, pressed into one another, Kaidan's hands supporting him on either side of Shepard and Shepard's fingers threading through hair and clutching for purchase against the bare skin of his shoulder blades, ignoring the lingering pain.

He finally loosened his grip, allowing Kaidan to rise up enough for the both of them to breathe, panting and trying to ignore the fact that both of their heart monitors were racing. Shepard breathed out slowly, steadily trying to bring his heart rate back down again, eyes drifting closed as he pressed his forehead against Kaidan's.

"Don't ever apologize, Kaidan," he whispered, lips moving within a bare centimeter of Kaidan's. "You're not the only one who wants this."

"You're only saying that because you just found out that I could do the elcor so well," Kaidan teased quietly, still a little breathless, before bringing his lips down to Shepard's again. However, he kept the pressure very light this time – the kiss gentle, loving, and tantalizingly slow.

Their first kiss had been raw, visceral, and passionate… Having shared what, back then, they had believed to possibly be an ultimate embrace, Kaidan remembered having felt the desperate need to pour every emotion he had ever felt for Shepard into it.

The result had been amazing. Electrifying, even. But in the back of his mind, there had been this constant pressure; this feeling that they were running out of time, and that the life they could have had together was slipping away before it had even been given the chance to really begin.

That second kiss had taken him by surprise, while reawakening the need he had to share himself with this wonderful, kind and generous man. The love, the understanding, the companionship… He was deeply attracted to Shepard and desired him physically, sure. But the attraction went far beyond that.

This time, he wanted the kiss to reflect that. To convey the tenderness, love, and devotion he felt towards the other man. To let Shepard know just how much he cared for him… All of him, and he was willing to be patient, supportive, and take things slow if need be while they figured things out.

Had they been two civilians with occupations that didn't involve the fate of so many others, Kaidan could imagine that he would have made every effort to court him properly. Take Shepard on a few dates; buy him dinner at a cozy little café. Find out what he liked, maybe invite him to go see a musical, or to take a long romantic walk in a quiet park…

But they were soldiers, and didn't entirely belong to themselves. Even though, to be honest, he was way past the point of really caring about the regs anymore, he still cared about the mission. And he knew that Shepard did, too. Actually, that was even part of the many reasons why he loved and respected him so much.

If he'd had any belief that their feelings for one another could end up hurting the mission itself, or putting the rest of the crew at a disadvantage, he wouldn't have been able to kiss him as he was doing now. No matter how much it would have torn him up inside to keep away from Shepard, he would have been willing to sacrifice his own heart to ensure that they would succeed in getting things done – that they would keep doing the right thing.

But he was slowly learning that it was possible to love someone with all that he was, body and soul, and not have to give up on his own personal ideals in the process; especially if those ideals were something that could be shared with the one he'd ended up giving his heart to. Although everything was still a bit muddled, he trusted that, together, they would be able to find the right balance between their duty, and their feelings for one another.

So for now, he was willing to allow this… this physical expression of his inner world. Kaidan seemed to express himself better through his actions than words, anyway. And he was determined not to rush anything.

Gently tasting Shepard's lips, truly savoring the moment this time, the hand playing in his hair sending shivers all over his body… His own hand sneaking up behind Shepard's neck, guiding him deeper into the kiss, delicately taking control… One arm preoccupied with holding himself above the man beneath him; his free hand sliding beneath Shepard's shirt, delicately caressing his stomach… Feeling the muscles underneath the skin tremble and tighten under his touch…

Feeling the urge to take things further becoming too great, and remembering that they were still in a public section of the ship – Dr. Chakwas could easily walk in on them at any time – he finally and very reluctantly pulled away from Shepard, smiling as the heard a little frustrated moan escape the other man's lips.

He could relate – breaking their kiss was like pure torture, but the more he waited, the harder and more painful it would be to avoid giving in to his urges.

"As much as I hate to say this…" Kaidan began, still staring hungrily at Shepard's mouth and biting his lower lip a little while he tried to catch his breath, and regain control of his mind and body. "…I think we need to figure out what we're going to do with ah… us," he said, finally raising his gaze to meet his.

Shepard took in a shaking breath in an effort to steady himself, before releasing it and gently pushing on Kaidan's shoulders so he could sit up again, allowing them both to draw back and properly face each other.

"Yeah," he said in a quiet voice, casting a glance towards the door before looking back at Kaidan again, gray eyes locking with brown. "We're… in a bit of a difficult situation here."

He suddenly broke eye contact and looked down at his hands, picking at the bandaging rubbing at his knuckles as he spoke. "I mean, at this point, I don't know if the Alliance would care enough to pursue either of us on the matter since I'm a Spectre now. But…" he sighed heavily, before looking at Kaidan again, brow knitting with worry. "I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't want to make promises that I can't keep. Most of all, I want to make sure that… that there's a future for us. And if this mission fails, there won't be."

"I know…" Kaidan whispered back, a shy smile making its way to his lips. Even with so much being uncertain, the simple fact that Shepard was considering that there might be a future for them was enough to make him feel giddy. "We still have a responsibility to the people we have sworn to protect; and to our crew," he said, wanting to let him know that he understood the importance of the situation, and wasn't taking it lightly.

"And you don't have to worry about hurting me, Marco," he added softly, holding his gaze and reaching out to delicately rest one hand on top of his, stopping him from fidgeting with the bandage. "I know you can't promise me anything right now… And I'm not asking you to. And I'm especially not expecting you to start treating me any different than you would anyone else on this ship during duty hours. Actually, I might even resent it if that became the case," he added, chuckling a little.

"But I need you to know that… These feelings I have for you…" he said, taking a deep breath to steady himself, trying his best to ignore the sound of his heart racing on the monitor. "Well, they're not going anywhere."

"And I uh…" he closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh, wondering why it was so difficult to find the right words to express what he felt when he'd been so comfortable kissing him only moments ago. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that… No matter what happens… Whether the mission succeeds or fails… Whether there is a future or not… As long as we can face it together, I'll be fine."

And really, he would. While part of him wished more than anything that they would be given a chance to take the relationship to the next step someday – maybe even become a couple, perhaps – he was also content with simply having Shepard in his life.

"I'm yours… in any way you need me to be," he whispered somewhat bashfully, lightly biting his lower lip again and looking down, hoping that he hadn't gone too far or scared Shepard away by admitting it.

A soft smile ran unbidden across Shepard's lips and he placed his free hand on top of Kaidan's, gently squeezing it between both of his own before letting go. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss to Kaidan's forehead, holding it for a moment before drawing back and gently tilting his chin up with his fingertips, bringing his gaze upward. "Even if I can't make you any promises right now, I can at least swear to you that I'm going to fight for all that I'm worth so we can have that future," he said, voice strong despite the incessant fluttering in his chest. "I'm not going to give up on you, Kaidan. Not when you… not when you make me feel…" he broke off, voice wavering – he swallowed to steady himself, inhaling and exhaling softly before continuing.

"You are my reason, Kaidan. I want to fight, to live for you."

I never realized that there was still a chance for me to find something – someone worth living for. You brought me back, Kaidan, and you're the reason I want to stay.

He remembered the words that Shepard had spoken to him in the cave. But back then, their full implication had been lost on him. He had supposed that a person could care about someone deeply as a friend – a brother, even – and have that friendship give them hope and the will to go on.

It was so easy for Kaidan to dismiss other people's interest in him – to believe that any attention or affection he received was superficial or fleeting. After all, aside from his family, he unfortunately hadn't quite succeeded in establishing any long-term personal relationships with anyone in the past.

At some point, he'd come to the conclusion that it simply wasn't meant for him. That he wasn't meant to really connect with other people, fall in love, or inspire such feelings in another… At least, nothing lasting. And he'd managed to convince himself that he was okay with that, too. That he was meant to protect others and care for them on a larger scale, and to use his talents for the greater good. That being a soldier wasn't only his vocation, but also part of his very identity.

Yet, here Marco Shepard was, talking about him being his reason to live and to fight. Vowing not to give up on him, and to do all he could to make sure that they would have a future together.

To hear those words spoken out loud, and to know that they weren't meant for anyone else… That was simply overwhelming. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to react or what Shepard was expecting him to do or… maybe that was just it, there weren't any expectations. Besides, hadn't he just admitted to being his? Maybe that was good enough for Shepard. Kaidan couldn't help but smile to himself… Maybe he was good enough.

"You know, for a guy who claims not being able to make any promises…" he began, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Shepard's, rubbing his nose affectionately against his a little. "You sure know how to make a commitment," he added softly, trying to keep his voice from breaking too much.

He ran his hands up and down Shepard's arms, his own body trembling, taking deep breaths to calm himself. But even if he were to lose control over his emotions and once again break down in front of him, he knew that it would be okay. Shepard would be there to catch him and make him feel safe and accepted… Loved, even.

"Shepard, you make me feel…" he paused, trying to find the right word. A way to describe just how right everything felt in his world whenever he was around. He smiled, remembering what the other man had once told him following one of their previous conversations. "…human."

A soft laugh escaped Shepard's throat – Kaidan's words most definitely weren't lost on him, and he couldn't keep from smiling as well. "I'm glad to hear that," he whispered, one hand resting palm-down against Kaidan's chest, feeling his heartbeat against his fingertips. "You give me so much strength, Kaidan. I feel like I could take on the galaxy… and at this point, I might have to. And I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have at my side."

His eyes drifted closed, expression calm and content. "Thank you, for… for everything. Even if the worst comes to pass, I don't regret anything." He laughed again, shaking his head slightly. "Except getting you shot. And then yelling at you. I regret the hell out of that."

Kaidan chuckled at that. "Yeah, let's ah… keep the yelling to a minimum, shall we?" he agreed, then appeared to give it some thought. "Though I suppose shouting can be good… given the right circumstances," he added a bit flirtatiously, the beeping from the machine next to his gurney once again going wild.

He laughed, feeling the heat rise to the sides of his neck once again, and knowing full well that his cheeks were probably flushed – thankfully he wasn't alone in that matter, because Shepard was trying his hardest to hide the fact that he had turned bright red as well. "Seriously Shepard, now that thing is just ruining the moment," Kaidan said, though he was now more amused than downright annoyed, not really minding the fact that Shepard could see how easy it was to get him all hot and bothered.

"Please help me take it down…" he pleaded, throwing him his best supplicating look. "Please."

"A-Alright, just cut it out with the puppy-dog eyes," Shepard conceded, face still tinged red, and he gave a somewhat self-deprecating laugh. "Just don't expect that to work again."

He cast a look towards his own heart monitor, which was still trying its damnedest to match Kaidan's beep-for-beep. He heaved a frustrated sigh. "And you have to help me with mine first. I'd try to do it myself but I'd probably break it."

Kaidan positively beamed at him when he finally agreed to help, then couldn't resist laughing a little at Shepard's lack of confidence in his own technological skills. "You know, to be fair, all I'll have to do is probably push some button with a huge red 'no sound' symbol on it somewhere beneath that front panel," he explained, while checking to make sure that his I.V. tubing would reach that far. Thankfully, the monitors themselves were directly synched to their biometrics and didn't require any wiring, so that left both of them free to move about as they pleased.

"Normally, I'd have deactivated it with my omnitool, but Dr. Chakwas hasn't allowed me to keep it ever since my first extended stay in the med bay under her care…" he said, apparently oblivious to the fact that this was exactly the kind of information that would usually end up arousing suspicions. One of Shepard's eyebrows arched upwards at that, but he didn't say anything.

Kaidan studied his objective with as much interest as he would a target on the battlefield. Thankfully, Shepard's monitor on the wall was much closer to his gurney than his own was.

"Alright, lie down and hold still," he said, getting out of his covers and moving over to Shepard's side, ending up with one leg on either side of his torso, straddling him. He began to lean forward and a bit to his right side, trying to reach for the monitor… Then stopped, realizing that he was only wearing a pair of (thankfully loose fitting) boxers, and was giving the other man quite the view.

"You know, this seemed like a good idea at first, but ah…" he laughed a bit nervously. "…Well, I guess I can always try to find another position to do this if you'd like."

Shepard was barely able to keep from laughing at that point, face still tinged red as he looked very pointedly to the side when he realized he'd been staring. "No, no. This is fine. Better than a room with a window."

"Riiight," Kaidan said, smiling a bit coyly and trying not to become too self-conscious, otherwise he knew he'd never be able to keep it up. It, as in, what he was trying to accomplish. Not… All right Alenko, focus. Alarm. Bad. Deactivate. Now.

"Just keep your head down, though," he instructed, once again leaning forward and to the side in order to finally reach the monitor. "Wouldn't want to accidently end up bumping into you." Yeah, wouldn't want that. Now was probably a very good time to start visualizing the picture of that naked elcor again.

"Okay, if I can just manage to… Perfect!" As expected, lifting the small panel on the front of the monitor, just below the large display screen, allowed him to have access to the volume controls and, wonder of wonders, the mute button.

"First target down, Commander," he announced proudly as the monitor's beeping finally ceased. He then flipped the panel back into place, before rolling off Shepard and moving over to his own bed, lifting the railing of his gurney that was on Shepard's side.

"Want me to go over this again, or you've got it?" he asked, half-serious half-teasing, not sure that Shepard had really been listening to his instructions the first time around.

Shepard rolled his eyes, before sitting up and leaning over so he could pull back on the railing with his elbows, leaning his weight back to fully stabilize Kaidan's gurney. "I may not look like it, but I'm pretty good at taking orders," he said with a half-grin. "Just be careful, if you fall out I'm not gonna be able to catch you. I could try to biotically pull you if you start to fall, but… well, let's just say you'll probably get to say hello to the far wall," he added, jerking his head towards the wall behind him, on the far side of the med bay. "Vanguards aren't exactly known for their precision and, um, control."

"Don't worry, I'd rather not end up on the floor, either. Especially not after being flown all the way over there," Kaidan said with a laugh, throwing a look in the wall's direction. "Don't know how we'd manage to explain that one." He could only picture Shepard looking sheepishly at Dr. Chakwas, going "B-but… I only wanted to catch him. Think I broke him?"

Bending over the railing nearly as far as he could go, its edge resting across his upper thighs, he finally managed to open the monitor's panel and hit the mute. But as Kaidan was about to comment on the success of their "mission," he heard the all too familiar swooshing sound of the med bay door opening. Shit.

He tried his best to make a swift retreat, almost losing his balance in the process and sitting back a bit too quickly on his legs with a wince and a slightly pained grunt. He then made very fast work of getting underneath his covers, lying back and pulling them up to his chest, while looking over to his left side to see how Shepard was doing.

To his great credit, the Commander had waited until he was sure that Kaidan was safely back on his gurney before letting go of the railing and running for cover. Not one to abandon one of his soldiers in the face of danger, no matter how terrifying the opponent.

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko," Dr. Chakwas said sternly, voice raising a notch, visibly unimpressed by his acrobatics. "And what exactly do you think you were doing?"

'I'm sorry,' he mouthed to Shepard, hoping that he would forgive him for getting him involved in this mess. Though, to tell the truth, he also felt like they'd just dodged a bullet there. All things considered, there were much more embarrassing things that they could have been caught doing.

Taking a deep breath and trying to put on his best charming smile, he finally turned his head in the doctor's direction. "Would you believe me if I said that the monitor started it?" he asked, while looked down at him, arms crossed, scowling in a way that obviously meant that she thought he could do much better than that.

He sighed. "Look, that beeping was driving me mad and I didn't want to disturb you…" he began explaining, then thought that if he was going down, maybe he could at least manage to save one of them. "…Shepard really did his best to stop me. I'm sure he would have called you sooner, but he had to grab onto the railing to watch my back, you know."

Dr. Chakwas nearly snorted at that. She had no doubt the Commander had indeed been watching his back. Though still feeling a bit irritated, she uncrossed her arms with a weary sigh, and looked sympathetically in Shepard's direction.

"Let me guess, he pulled the puppy-dog eyes on you?" she asked, shaking her head a little.

Shepard felt the back of his neck get hot and he tried to save face by plastering on an indignant look. "Jeez, Kaidan, and here I thought that I was special. You use that tactic on all of the pretty girls?"

He really did turn red when he realized that his teasing could be horribly misconstrued, so he changed the subject as fast as he could. "I mean… sorry, doctor. I'm not letting a soldier take the fall for something that was equally my responsibility," he said, trying to look stoic but instead wavering under Chakwas' stern look. "We'll, um, call you next time."

"Don't make any promises that you may not be able to keep, Commander. Trust me on this," she replied with a smirk, turning her attention back to Kaidan. "And here I thought that by providing you with a companion and a few distractions…" she said, pointing a finger in the direction of the games and periodicals she had brought in earlier, "…you might consider leaving my toys alone." There was at least a hint of fondness and even amusement in her voice now.

"I only touched the mute, I swear," Kaidan answered, allowing Dr. Chakwas to proceed with her physical examination. "Beside, have I ever broken anything?" he asked, making her stop long enough to throw him a disbelieving look again. He wavered a bit under her steady stare. "Let me rephrase that. Have I ever broken anything that I wasn't able to fix?" he specified.

She relented with a sigh, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "No, you haven't. Though I did receive a call recently from one of the technicians using my old med bay. He wanted to know why there were pictures of what appeared to be the inside of a sandwich stored in the scanner's database," she said, making Kaidan chuckle a bit.

"Yeah, that… I figured that I was performing a public service by making sure that the synthetic meat they served us on that ship didn't have any actual brain activity," he teased.

"The food was pretty horrible," Dr. Chakwas conceded with a small laugh, having regained her more relaxed disposition. "And I suppose that you did help me get my medical equipment properly settled on the Normandy," she added, having completed her examination and now checking on the monitor's display to confirm that everything was still working as it should.

"So I'm getting the distinct impression that there's a good reason why Kaidan's not allowed to have his omnitool in the med bay," Shepard said, pushing into a more comfortable sitting position and shooting a knowing grin towards the Lieutenant lying next to him. "Let me know if I need to put in a requisition order for more secure equipment, doctor," he teased.

Instead of looking offended, Kaidan's eyes actually lit up at the suggestion, a reaction that definitely wasn't lost on the doctor. "Thanks, Commander. But I think that the challenge of hacking through security, on top of having access to top of the line medical high tech, would prove too much for our young tech expert here to resist." She frowned, giving it a bit more thought. "Hmmm… I wonder how many times his parents came back home to find that the microwave had been taken apart, and their son was in the process of reassembling it."

The Lieutenant laughed. "Guilty as charged," he admitted. Trying to figure out how things worked had always been a favorite hobby of his. And though he wasn't as good at hacking as Tali, he'd always enjoyed it to the point where it hadn't been long before his parents had stopped bothering with trying to install any type of parental control software on their electronic devices at home. He'd even broken through programs that were supposedly tied to their biometrics.

"Playing with electronics is a great way to pass the time, and it helps me take my mind off things," he said with a little shrug, while looking back in Shepard's direction. "I find it oddly relaxing."

"Relaxing for you, maybe," Dr. Chakwas scoffed, before allowing her earlier concern to return. "Look, Alenko, I'd sincerely appreciate it if, at the very least, you would make the effort not to start climbing over the railings, or do anything else that could get you hurt while you're here," she said, letting him know that she cared much more about her patients' well-being than all of the technology in the world.

"Actually, if I catch either of you two trying to leave your beds without assistance until I officially give you the okay tomorrow morning, I'm getting the medical restraints, and putting each gurney on opposite sides of the rooms. Am I making myself clear?" she added sternly, leaving no doubt that she would be perfectly willing to put her threats to execution if they refused to comply with her orders. Shepard may have been the Commander of this ship, but she was the one in charge of everything that went on in the med bay. So when it came down to the health and the welfare of her soldiers, she expected them to fall in line.

Shepard very nearly laughed at first, until he realized that the serious look on Chakwas' face was most definitely very real. He immediately forced on a straight face, erasing any and all possible amusement that the doctor might misconstrue as a questioning of her authority. He didn't carry any false pretenses that Chakwas held absolute authority in the med bay, Commander or not. Hell, she could probably put an Admiral in their place if they ever found themselves confined to the Normandy's med bay.

"Yes ma'am," he responded, tone about as serious as he could make it. "Crystal clear." He suddenly felt like a twelve year old all over again. The last time a woman had used that tone of voice on him, his mother had grounded him for attacking his older brother with balloons filled with paint. They never managed to get the stains out of the carpet, and he could still remember the stern look on his mother's face when she'd sent him to his room – the exact same look Chakwas was giving him now. And if Chakwas was anything like his mother had been, he knew that the best course of action was to sit down and shut up.

"Aye aye," Kaidan answered with a firm nod, obviously not willing to risk spending the rest of the day tied up to his bed, all alone in his own corner. Not to mention that since Dr. Chakwas had already made some great efforts to accommodate them, and make sure that their convalescence would be as pleasant as possible, the very least they could offer in return was their collaboration.

"Good. I see we understand each other," she said with a satisfied smirk, before moving to Shepard's side and checking the readings on his monitor. "Otherwise, you both appear to be recovering well. Vitals have been strong and stable over the last few hours… Besides a few episodes of tachycardia," she mentioned with an amused grin. Kaidan could feel the heat rush back to his cheeks again. "And they have a tendency to happen simultaneously, how odd," she added, obviously enjoying herself. She pretended not to notice that Shepard had begun inching down into his sheets out of embarrassment.

'It's official, this woman is evil,' Kaidan thought, wishing that the ground could just open up and swallow him whole.

"I'll send someone in to bring you some lunch," Dr. Chakwas offered, having apparently decided that she'd tortured them enough for the time being. "Now, before I go, is there anything more you two need?"

'You mean, besides what's left of my pride?' the Lieutenant wondered, trying to fight back his embarrassment. "I'm good," he answered quietly, still looking a bit sheepish.

Shepard was very pointedly looking anywhere but at Chakwas or Kaidan at that point, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't as flushed as he felt. "Yeah, I think I'm good too. Thank you, Dr. Chakwas."

As soon as the doctor had departed the room and the door had swished closed behind her, Shepard turned and poked Kaidan sharply in the shoulder. "Way to go, Alenko," he said, giving him a half-hearted glare."I told you it was a bad idea. I haven't been scolded like that since I was a child."

"Hey! I tried to save you, alright?" Kaidan answered with mock indignation. "You're the one that was too stubborn to let me take the fall back there," he pointed out, though there was a hint of gratefulness and even tenderness in his voice. After pretty much coaxing Shepard into helping him, he wouldn't have been mad if the Commander had let him carry the sole responsibility for his actions. The fact that he'd stood by him, no matter what the consequences, was strangely moving.

Shepard rolled his eyes, shifting back down onto his back and turning his head against his pillow so he could look over at the other man. "I'm your Commander, Kaidan. I protect my men from enemies and doctors alike," he replied, a smirk turning the corner of his mouth. "Besides, if you hadn't—"

He suddenly cut himself off, however – his eyes had drifted past Kaidan as he spoke, landing on the front corner of the room by the med bay doors. He stopped speaking almost immediately, eyes going wide and expression immediately morphing from amused to downright mortified. "Um… I think I know how Dr. Chakwas conveniently caught you in the act." He didn't wait for Kaidan to question him, however, pointing towards the corner. "I'm guessing that the flashing red light means the camera is on."

"What?" Kaidan asked, turning his head briefly in the direction that the Commander was pointing, before blanching significantly when he noticed the flashing light that he was referring to. He turned back to Shepard, not quite having the courage to look him in the eyes. "Yes, yes it does…" he confirmed in a small voice, pulling his covers over his head in an ultimate effort to hide his growing shame. "Pouncing on your superior officer without first fully assessing the perimeter… Way to go, Alenko," he said, reusing the words that Shepard had spoken to him earlier, his voice a bit muffled by the blanket.

Shepard sighed, reaching over and patting the other man on the shoulder through the covers. "Well, if we're lucky, she didn't actually see us… um… you know. She might have just checked when you started messing with the monitors," he offered hopefully, though his expression betrayed his voice. Thankfully Kaidan couldn't see it. "I mean, even if she did, she didn't bring it up… It could be worse? At least we weren't naked."

"Yeah," the large form bravely hiding underneath the covers answered quietly with a nervous chuckle. As terrible as it may have sounded, he could definitely see an upside to Shepard's proposed scenario. Really? Well, it wasn't like he had ever fantasized about something as embarrassing as spying on his commanding officer in the showers before or… Ah, great. Now he just did.

Realizing that he was acting a bit silly just hiding there, and not wanting Shepard to believe that he actually regretted any of their earlier display of affection, he took a deep breath and decided to man up – show him that he could take charge of the situation, and get them out of this mess. Hopefully before lunch arrived. He was starting to get quite hungry and didn't fancy either of them getting indigestion.

"Okay, I've got this," he announced, dropping the covers back to his waist, and looking at Shepard with a strong, confident expression. At least, it was meant to look strong and confident. "Give me the short range communicator. I'm calling the doctor."

Shepard stared at him for a moment, not moving at first. "What? Why?" he asked, tone suspicious. He held the communicator away from Kaidan, but his expression didn't falter. Shepard stared him down as long as he could before he finally gave up, too unnerved by Kaidan's expression to continue the contest. "All right, just try not to get us in trouble. If someone has to tie me down to a bed, I'd prefer you over Chakwas."

He immediately felt his cheeks go hot the moment the words left his mouth, and he shoved the radio into Kaidan's hands to cover his slip-up. "Here, just—do whatever you're gonna do," he stuttered, looking away a little too quickly to cover the fact that his face had turned red.

"Don't worry, I doubt that I can manage to do much worse," Kaidan said with a little half-smile, having to stop his mind from wandering towards the creative use of medical restraints. "And I'm usually very gentle…" he added a bit seductively, before taking another deep breath and concentrating on the task at hand – a good thing, because Shepard had somehow managed to turn an even darker shade of red as he sunk down further under his covers out of embarrassment.

"Dr. Chakwas, are you there?" he asked after having opened their channel, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

"Yes Lieutenant, is there anything you need?" came the answer over the med bay's intercom. Of course, having her sound like she was all around them, omniscient and all-powerful, didn't quite help with the trepidation.

"Well, not really need, it's just…" Okay Alenko, you can do this. "…I was wondering if there was any specific reason why the med bay's cameras have been turned on?" he asked. "I tend to find it a bit hard to sleep or rest whenever I feel like I'm being observed, you know, so…" Oh yeah, that sounded completely disinterested.

For a few seconds, his question was met with silence, and Kaidan closed his eyes, not wanting to meet Shepard's gaze right now. He needed to stay calm.

"Well, initially, I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be in any visible distress upon regaining consciousness," Dr. Chakwas finally answered, tone open and honest. "But you know, the strangest thing happened. After you woke up, I stopped paying attention to the video feed and I believe there was a malfunction," she added, and Kaidan could almost hear the smile in her voice. "All of the data has been lost. By the time I got it back into working order, you were climbing onto that railing."

"Uh-huh," Shepard muttered, flopping back against his pillows and staring up at the ceiling, rubbing a hand across the bridge of his nose as though he might be able to will the color out of his cheeks. "Um… thanks, Doctor," he finally said, not bothering to look at Kaidan or the radio clutched in his hand. He wasn't really in the mood to play any games concerning what had or hadn't been seen – as far as he was aware, Chakwas was being tactful and if anything, she was going out of her way to help them. And despite the initial embarrassment at having been caught making out with one of his subordinates, he felt safe in the fact that they likely wouldn't face any recourse due to Chakwas' actions. And he truly, honestly appreciated that.

"I see," Kaidan answered, trying to sound as casual about it as he could. "You know, if the problem ever persists…"

"I'll be sure to let you have a look at it," the doctor answered kindly. "And I'll shut down the cameras to make sure you two can rest easy for the rest of the day," she added. True to her words, Kaidan saw the little flashing red light go dark. He smiled, allowing himself to relax for real this time, a certain amount of relief washing over him.

"Thanks, doctor. It's much appreciated," he said genuinely "And I promise we won't abuse your trust. We'll behave," he vowed, grateful for her compassion and understanding.

"I'll hold you to that. I'll be on standby if you two need anything else. Until then, take it easy, everything's safe," she said, and Kaidan knew that there was definitely more meaning to that.

"Okay, thanks again," he answered, before cutting the communications.

"Well, that wasn't too bad, was it?" the Lieutenant asked, turning in Shepard's direction, though there was still a bit of hesitation in his voice.

"Yeah," Shepard muttered, rubbing his hand across his face a moment longer before letting it rest in his lap. "I'm just glad Chakwas is on our side. I definitely don't fancy the idea of having to explain to a superior why there's med bay security footage of my Lieutenant and I going at it," he said, before snorting lightly. "I don't think 'he fell and I caught him with my lips' counts as a valid excuse."

He sighed heavily, before reaching up with both hands and smoothing his palms over the fine layer of black stubble on his skull, pausing to scratch the edge of his amp port with an uncomfortable expression. "Let's just keep our hands to ourselves until visiting hours are over. Knowing our luck, Ash would walk in on us. Again."

"Agreed," Kaidan answered with a small nod. "Though I'd be a lot more concerned about Navigator Pressly suddenly walking in here to ask you a question than I am about Ash catching us in the act again," he pointed out, a shiver running down his spine at the prospect.

"But do me a favor, if something like that ever happens, let me make up the excuses," he added with a little smirk. "'We were on drugs and pretty confused. So I thought that Shepard had stopped breathing again, and thus immediately proceeded with giving him mouth-to-mouth' already sounds a bit more plausible than yours," he teased good-naturedly.

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because he'll totally believe that one," he said, before making a face. "I'm not sure on what planet CPR includes fondling and moaning, but I think 'we were high' covers most of the bases."

He sighed, before gently rolling onto his side against so he could better face the other man, shifting around until he could bend his arm up underneath his head into a slightly more comfortable position. "Either way… Thank you, Kaidan," he said, a soft smile working its way across his lips. "We wouldn't have made it if it hadn't been for you."

"Come on now, Dr. Chakwas isn't that bad," Kaidan teased with a half-smile. "A bit of a hard-ass, sure. But ah, to my knowledge, she hasn't killed anyone yet – at least not intentionally," he added, unable to resist deflecting Shepard's expression of gratitude with humor. Receiving praises or thanks had always made him feel a little self-conscious, especially when he personally felt like he'd only been doing his duty.

But Shepard's words were sincere… And somehow, he couldn't help but feel that dismissing the other man's gratefulness so casually would make it sound like he didn't give much importance to his own actions. And nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, Kaidan would have been ready to fight to protect and save the life of any fellow soldier out there. But he knew that one of the reasons why they'd successfully pulled through together was because they had both been so emotionally invested in the situation.

He sighed, pushing back any lingering feeling of embarrassment and allowing himself to simply be genuine instead. "You're welcome, Marco," he said quietly, returning Shepard's soft smile with a hint of tenderness in his voice. "But I don't think that I would have been able to make it without you, either." His eyes twinkled and his smile widened a little. "After all, you did successfully revive me with a kiss. That was quite the… ah… rescue."

Shepard's expression turned a bit sheepish, but he laughed all the same. "Yeah, to be honest, I wasn't expecting that to work," he admitted, reaching up to rub the side of his neck in embarrassment. "I guess a small part of me was hoping you'd wake up and kick me for being so forward," he teased, grinning, before his expression fell a bit, turning into something more serious as his tone dropped. "I'm just glad that our first kiss didn't have to be our last."

"So am I…" Kaidan answered softly, remembering how close they had been to being lost out there. "…and I'm grateful that you did risk it. If those had been my final moments, then you would have made them pretty perfect," he added a bit shyly, thinking that leaving this world in the arms of the man you loved, with his lips and body tightly pressed against your own, entirely wrapped up in each other, definitely wasn't a bad way to go. Of course, it would be a thousand times better if something like that ended up happening after having shared many long, happy and fulfilling years together. But with the dangers of their mission, and death looming at every corner, they had to learn to appreciate every single moment they were given, and not take anything for granted.

Shepard found himself smiling again, and he shook his head. "I would agree with you, but at this point, I don't want to have to judge how perfect my final moments are until I've had some time to wait for them," he said, shifting enough that he could reach over and gently trace a hand down the side of Kaidan's face. "I'd like to enjoy this – to enjoy us a little bit longer. If that's all right with you," he said, unable to keep from grinning a bit – this felt so awkward to him, but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel like it was right. He didn't have the experience to judge, but... this felt good.

"Hmmm…" Kaidan closed his eyes and leaned into Shepard's touch, taking a few deep breaths and allowing himself to simply enjoy the moment. "You're right… I definitely want all the time we can get," he whispered, opening his eyes and reaching up to gently grab Shepard's hand, holding it into place while he turned his head a little to the side, so he could lay a soft kiss in the middle of his palm.

Resting his cheek back on the pillow, and lazily staring into Shepard's beautiful grey eyes, he had to wonder how it was possible to feel so utterly at peace with oneself and the rest of the Universe; and yet so very anxious and excited. Two extremes that, instead of competing each other for control or dominance, were strangely managing to co-exist in near perfect harmony.

A bit like Shepard himself, perhaps. A great symphony of contrasts and opposites that, put together, created a certain exquisite balance that never ceased to amaze and fascinate him. Strength and vulnerability… Raw power combined with refined grace… Shepard could be the fierce warrior, cold and unyielding in the face of the enemy or anyone seeking to manipulate him and make him waste his time - politicians, especially – and then become the gentle and comforting protector, showing an impressive level of patience and empathy towards those he was trying to help.

So many variations that never felt forced, or even out of place… All of these dualities always seemed to remain an authentic part of who Shepard was. It was only when he actively sought to hide or suppress them that Kaidan could perceive some dissonance… When certain qualities, that were wrongfully perceived as weaknesses or undesirable traits, weren't given any chance to be expressed.

But here, there was no reason to hide or to feel ashamed. The man staring back at him with a gentle and loving smile was whole… As a matter of fact, so was he. Kaidan felt a bit like the lost piece of a puzzle that had finally found its rightful place. Some people often felt like a piece of the puzzle had been missing from their lives… However, in his case, Kaidan was under the clear impression that he had spent his whole life looking for the right place to fit. Being around Shepard was making him feel like he belonged to something bigger… Something greater… Most importantly, Shepard made him feel that he belonged with him, too. It wasn't a feeling that he'd often been given the chance to experience – if ever – but he liked it. No – scratch that – it was the best goddamn feeling in the world.

He may have believed Shepard to be crazy once… But maybe a little "crazy" was exactly what had been missing from his life all along.

"Have I ever told you how close I came to asking for a transfer after our first mission on Eden Prime?" he asked a bit teasingly, voice filled with laughter and affection. "I thought you were a complete nutcase… Albeit the cutest nutcase I'd ever seen," he added with a tender smile. "But yeah, totally crazy."

"Mm," Shepard hummed, lips pursing into a slight pout. "You know, I'd try to pretend like I was offended by that, but I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face," he replied, pout quirking into a slight smirk. "I am a nutcase. Makes things more fun than being sane. Besides, when you're a Vanguard, crazy comes with the territory. I've never met one who didn't have at least a couple of screws loose."

He slid his hand away from Kaidan's face after a moment, tucking it back under his pillow. "I'm glad I won you over with my good looks and charming disposition," he said, still grinning. "Now if only that was enough to keep the rest of the crew around when things start to get hairy. I don't know how receptive Wrex would be if I started flirting with him."

"Oh God!" Kaidan said with a hearty laugh. "Please, don't. Just in case Wrex became too receptive, and I'd end up having to wrestle a krogan in order to win your affection," he teased. "Not that I wouldn't! After all, I already faced a thresher maw one-on-one, so…" he trailed off, brows knitting together as he seemed to give it some more thought.

"Come to think of it, do you have any jealous exes out there that I should know about?" he asked with a half-smile. "You know, some angry, heartbroken, massive elcor stud traveling the galaxy, determined to crush anyone that would ever dare come between you two?"

Shepard snickered. "Yeah, and he wears a white suit and has a really good evil laugh," he said, unable to keep from rolling his eyes. "He's pulling all of my exes together into an army. Hope you're ready."

He sighed heavily, shifting positions as his grin faded into a slight smile. "Funny thing, though. I don't have any exes. You're… um… you're the first person I've…" he said, trailing off for a moment – his expression flickered in embarrassment, but he covered it with another smile. "Don't worry, no evil exes. As funny as it would be to watch you do battle with a jealous elcor."

"Really?" Kaidan asked, unable to hide his shock at Shepard's admission. While he knew that he was the first person that the other man had ever felt comfortable enough with to open up about a few more personal and intimate issues; he was still a bit surprised to learn that he'd never actually been in a relationship.

Unlike himself, Shepard appeared to be very at ease around people, and naturally outgoing. Not to mention that he was a highly charismatic individual, and people tended to respond remarkably well to his "good looks and charming disposition," as he'd put it earlier. Even the asari consort had shown rather strong signs of interest in him…

"Not even a more casual frequentation? Nothing?" he insisted, completely oblivious to the fact that his astonishment could very well end up being misinterpreted, or become the source of more embarrassment.

After all, wasn't Shepard the one that had suggested that a bunch of teenagers alone together on a space station would no doubt find some way to "occupy the time?" While Kaidan found it personally difficult - if not impossible - to physically get close to someone without a very strong emotional connection and a feeling of absolute trust; he was well aware that this wasn't the case for everyone. And he was actually perfectly okay with that.

He'd never had any big romantic notion of "waiting for the right person" to share his first kiss with; or any of that "having to wait until after you're married to have sex with the one you love" nonsense, either. So the idea of being in a relationship with someone that had had a few different romantic partners before him didn't bother him in the least. Especially considering that, at thirty-two, it would be a bit silly to expect otherwise.

Falling in love with someone about his own age who was just as inexperienced when it came to intimate relationships actually seemed pretty unlikely. Hence why he was staring back at Shepard with his eyes wide and mouth slightly opened.

"Um… yeah," Shepard admitted, unable to keep from going slightly red at the way Kaidan was staring at him. "Never. I mean, I had a guy I used to hold hands with back on Mindoir but, well, I don't think that counts."

His expression fell a bit. "I've been so caught up in my commitment to the Alliance that I never really looked for anyone," he explained, brow furrowing. "I didn't take shore leaves and I refused to break regs. And I know there are still guys out there who aren't comfortable around… my kind… so I always kind of kept to myself. I didn't want to freak out the people I shared a shower room with, y'know?"

Shepard couldn't keep from sighing heavily, passing a hand over his face for a moment before continuing. "I know that's an old-fashioned way of thinking – I mean, if loving an alien is socially acceptable then who the hell has the right to tell me I can't love another man – and it's a minority, but it's a vocal minority and I never really wanted to fight it."

He couldn't stop the discomfort from settling in the pit of his stomach – he wasn't used to talking about these kinds of things. But if he had already opened up enough to share some of his darkest thoughts with the man lying across from him, talking about his sexuality should have been small change. He just wasn't sure why it was so difficult.

"What about you? Any jealous exes I'm gonna have to fight?"

Kaidan smiled softly. "Well, considering that my first and last 'hand holding partner' became scared of me…" he began, noticing with a certain amount of wonder that saying it out loud didn't hurt as much as it used to. Actually, it didn't appear to hurt at all anymore. "…I'm afraid that you won't be facing a lot of opposition, or even comparison."

"You know, it's funny," he mused, considering what Shepard had just told him "Since I grew up as a biotic, and have always been perceived as different or even 'deviant' by the people around me, my sexual orientation isn't something that I've really thought about."

He shrugged a little. "I guess I figured that since people were always going to be distrustful or wary of me anyway, I might as well just follow my instincts and desires when the opportunity would present itself," he explained, looking away thoughtfully for a few seconds. "Turns out opportunities have been a bit difficult to come by. Or maybe I'm just difficult, or choosy, or… I don't know…" he trailed off, before looking back up at Shepard with renewed interest.

"This one time, at brain camp, while I was recovering from a bad headache during class hours, two girls came into the boys' dorm and began to kiss and touch each other on the bed right next to mine," he began, sitting up on his gurney cross-legged and facing Shepard, waiting for him to do the same and get himself comfortable before continuing. "As I was about to excuse myself from the room to offer them some privacy, they said that they actually knew that I was there when they first came in, and invited me to join in."

He noticed that Shepard's eyebrows had shot upwards at that, and a knowing smirk was slowly spreading across his lips. He didn't say anything, however, allowing Kaidan to continue uninterrupted.

"And I just couldn't do it," Kaidan said after a small pause, remembering how, back then, he'd really thought that there was something incredibly wrong with him. "They did manage to convince me to stay and watch from my own bunk instead, because they thought that being watched while they were making out and having sex was really exciting…"

"I mean, don't get me wrong, they were two really beautiful girls, the whole setup was, ah, kinda hot…" Actually, Kaidan was fully aware that he'd probably just described the greatest sexual fantasy of the vast majority of 17 year-old boys. "…and I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't totally get off just from watching them, but… I don't know," he said, shrugging and letting out a slightly frustrated sigh. "For some reason, I feel unable to engage in any form of direct sexual activity with another person if I don't feel a very strong sense of attachment to my partner."

"If I'm going to let someone kiss or touch me, I need it to mean something, you know?" he explained, searching Shepard's gaze for any sign that the other man understood what he was trying to say. "It's like I haven't really learned to distance my body from my emotions. And if I can't be comfortable feeling 'emotionally naked' with someone, well…" he trailed off, feeling a bit self-conscious all of a sudden. "Okay, that didn't sound weird at all."

Shepard couldn't keep from laughing – not quite the reaction Kaidan had expected or was comfortable with, but he immediately stopped himself and shook his head with a wide grin. "That's not weird at all, Kaidan. That's about as normal as you can get, actually," he replied, reaching over and laying a hand comfortingly on the other man's knee. "You view sex as something meaningful. You are a romantic, after all," he said, still grinning. "And I admire the hell out of that."

He couldn't keep from chuckling again, however. "And I'm getting this mental image of you watching a couple of brain camp girls making out right next to you and it's kind of funny."

Kaidan chuckled, too, though his laugh had a slightly more nervous quality to it. "Yeah, that was uh… really something."

Looking back at Shepard, it suddenly occurred to him just how much he loved seeing him smile… Not the kind of smile you faked or pasted on your face in order to be polite, or to avoid making others uncomfortable. Not the kind of smile that you tried to force in the hopes of making yourself feel better, or of shielding your emotions from the world. A real smile – one that originated from within, and naturally came out whenever you felt safe, relaxed, and happy.

It was exactly the kind of smile that, right now, was reaching Shepard's eyes, and completely illuminating his features. It was beautiful, and sweet, and bewitching, and… he simply loved it. So much, actually, that he was perfectly able to envision spending the rest of his life trying to find new ways to make him smile.

"And you can probably imagine how terribly flustered I was at first," he said, fully aware that, even today, he tended to have a rather bashful disposition that the Commander had no doubt already noticed. "I mean, I was so scared that they would take my refusal the wrong way, that I started babbling about how beautiful and attractive they were; but that there was this girl that I kinda liked. Actually, she and I were just friends! Maybe she had no interest in me beyond that, and we hadn't promised each other anything. Still, my heart wouldn't be into it, and I felt that it would simply be unfair to them – not that I thought that they had feelings for me or anything! Or, you know, for each other – not that they shouldn't have feelings for each other! Just that I wouldn't pass judgment on them if they didn't – not that I thought someone should! Just that some guys could be real jerks sometimes – not that I thought I was any better than the other guys!" He let out a small, self-deprecating laugh. "So yeah, I was obviously the very epitome of cool-headedness back then."

"Thankfully, the girls were extremely nice and understanding. They knew that Rahna and I seemed to be close, so they hadn't truly expected me to accept. Still, they had believed that it was worth the shot," he said with a little half-smile.

"One of the girls, Lydia I think, shared a few sentinel training classes with me. She told me that, since I was one of the most skilled and powerful biotics of brain camp, they would have been very intrigued to experience firsthand what I could possibly do with them," Kaidan explained, remembering that, as it turned out, skipping classes that particular afternoon had been more than worth it. Not only had the headaches quickly cleared right out, but it hadn't stopped him from learning a thing or two. "To prove her point, she activated her biotics, and began to do things that you'd usually see on an extranet asari fetish site. Even if all I did was watch, the experience was very, ah, educational."

Shepard stared at him for a long moment in silence, before he very suddenly broke down into a giggling fit, doing his best to stifle himself with his hand. He couldn't even muster up the effort required to feel embarrassed for laughing like a thirteen-year-old girl, but he couldn't help himself. "Oh my god, really? I'm going to assume this is a story you've kept to yourself – I can only imagine what would happen if someone like Joker knew that you had a teenage boy's fantasy fall into your lap without you even having to try. He'd never let you hear the end of it, I swear."

Kaidan smiled fondly, looking both amused by Shepard's fit of laughter and completely smitten with the man himself. His comment also struck him as funny, somehow. He had to wonder if Shepard realized just how many men and women out there would probably fantasize about being in his very position right now – sharing an illicit and exciting romance with the great Commander Shepard, humanity's very first human Spectre.

Of course, the reason why he had been attracted to Marco, and had ultimately fallen in love with him, had absolutely nothing to do with his Spectre status or how famous he was. If anything, he hoped that he would be able to bring some sense of normalcy into Shepard's life, and had every intention to keep on treating him as a regular individual. Well, outside of work hours when ranks and protocol did matter, that is.

Shepard shook his head, quelling the laughter long enough to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, this is just – I can't help it, I don't know why it's so funny," he said in mock resignation, lips quivering back into a barely restrained smirk. "So, um, did you learn anything useful about biotics in the bedroom? Just curious."

Kaidan's grin widened ever so slightly, a predatory glint reflecting in his eyes. "You know, I think I'm going to hold on to that knowledge… for now," he said a bit seductively. "This is something I have a feeling I would much rather show you."

"Oh really?" Shepard asked, lowering his voice and plastering on a faux-flirty smirk. "I guess you'll just have to surprise me then, Lieutenant. You're pretty good at that."

It was all Kaidan could do not to start blushing. Again. To tell the truth, he was actually starting to surprise even himself. 'God Alenko, when did you turn into such a flirt?' he thought, amused, but then figured that it probably had a lot to do with the man in front of him.

Shepard was making him comfortable enough to explore some facets of his personality that had otherwise remained hidden – until now, at least. And though he wouldn't have been bothered by Shepard having been more experienced than he was when it came to intimacy and romance, he had to admit that the fact that they were both kind of new at this made him feel a little more confident.

Kaidan didn't get a chance to respond, however – the door to the med bay suddenly slid open, interrupting their chat and causing the both of them to jump in surprise. Shepard leaned to the side to look around Kaidan as he twisted back to look towards the door, and both were met with the sight of Garrus simultaneously holding two food trays and trying to cover his eyes with one clawed hand.

"Are you two decent? I don't want to drop the food everywhere."

Shepard rolled his eyes, feeling the back of his neck heat up and willing himself not to turn red in embarrassment, instead pasting on an indignant look. "We're fine, Garrus. Just talking. You can come in."

"Good, I'd rather not explain to Chakwas why there's meat substitute on her med bay floor." The turian immediately went to shift the trays around so he could carry them properly with both hands, approaching the two men in their gurneys and laying each tray down on the sheets next to them.

"Thanks," Kaidan murmured with a little grateful nod, the sight and especially smell of the food immediately reminding him of how very hungry he was. He'd let Shepard carry on with the customary greetings. As far as he was concerned, there was a meatloaf – or a "meatloaf substitute" at least – that was requesting his complete and immediate attention.

Garrus looked between the two with a scrutinizing eye, mandibles flaring into what might have been the turian equivalent of a smirk. "Two marines get stranded in the middle of a blizzard, attacked by a thresher maw, and all they get is a little frostbite. I can't decide if I want to be shocked or amused."

"How about both?" Shepard quipped with a slight grin, before reaching over and grabbing the protein shake sitting on his tray. He unscrewed the cap and took a swig, making a face as he did so. "Bleh. All right, Garrus, any reason why you're bringing us our food? Pursuing your lifelong dream of becoming a waiter? Or did you piss off the mess sergeant again?"

It was Garrus' turn to look indignant. "What, I can't offer to bring you your food as a concerned friend?" he asked, putting on an affected voice. "I'm hurt, Shepard."

Shepard snorted. "Sure you are."

Garrus shook his head, mandibles twitching as he grinned again. "Actually, I thought I'd try my hand at being the first guy to get the whole story. Wrex has been practically rolling around out there wanting to know how Lieutenant Alenko here killed a thresher maw on foot. Considering the fact that I was the one who was down there with you guys and got to sit on my ass with a bunch of scared-stiff lab coats in that facility without knowing whether you guys were alive or dead… I figured I earned it."

"So," Garrus continued, dragging a chair next to Kaidan's bed and dropping down into it, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees, "how'd you do it, Alenko? It's not every day your dumbass of a Commander gets knocked out in the middle of a fight and you have to save the day, against a thresher no less."

"Humph?" Kaidan said, looking up with a slightly confused look on his face. He was simultaneously grateful for two things – first, that having his mouth filled with food was allowing him to take a pause, and think things through before offering any answer. And second, that the fact that he'd been so completely engrossed in his meal until then could actually be used as a convenient excuse for his sudden confusion.

Shepard seemed to freeze up for the shortest of moments at Garrus' question, before casting a quick glance towards Kaidan that practically screamed '…I'll explain later.' Thankfully the turian was rather intently looking at Kaidan as he waited for an answer, so he didn't catch Shepard's look.

So, they obviously owed more to Dr. Chakwas than a convenient med bay camera malfunction. It suddenly occurred to Kaidan that using the time they had spent alone together in order to agree on an "official version" of what had happened on Gellix might have been a good idea.

"I'm sorry, how did I do what?" Kaidan asked, feigning distraction. "I ah… I think my stomach took over my brain for a few minutes there, and I completely lost track of what you guys were saying," he added with a slightly embarrassed laugh, hoping that Garrus would buy it.

Garrus rolled his eyes, unable to keep from shaking his head again. "I just wanted to know how you managed to take down that thresher while Shepard here took a nap," he repeated, earning a withering glare from the Commander that he promptly ignored. "Looked like it thrashed the hell out of the Mako before you guys bailed." His expression changed, however, as though he had suddenly remembered something. "Speaking of which, we picked up another one from the nearest Alliance base down there on Gellix. I'm blaming you two for how long it's going to take to calibrate the guns on the new one."

Shepard snorted again. "Quit your bitching, Vakarian," he said, grinning a bit, "You know you enjoy it."

"I enjoy calibrating guns, yes, but I don't enjoy starting over because a maw ate the last one," Garrus shot back.

"It didn't eat it," Shepard corrected, before taking another drink of his protein shake and swallowing with a grimace. "It just sort of threw up acid all over it."

"Yeah, well as bad as we got hit, you really should've seen the other guy, Shepard," Kaidan commented with a bit of a smug smile and a side-glance in the Commander's direction. While boasting definitely wasn't his style, he had to admit that he was starting to believe that maybe defeating a thresher maw on his own was a little impressive, and something that he should allow himself to feel a little proud about, too.

"And since you're bringing up the Mako, Garrus, just so you guys know, from now on, everyone on the squad will be taking turns with driving it, and especially operating the cannon and big guns on that thing," Kaidan said, crossing his arms and looking at the turian pointedly. "No one should ever have to play cat-and-mouse with a giant carnivorous worm without some solid experience with that vehicle," he added, giving Shepard a slightly stern look to make it clear that this request was not negotiable.

"Making jokes about Shepard 'taking a nap' might seem funny now that the danger's passed, but the truth is that if I hadn't actually read that fucking manual and received some basic piloting training in the past, by the time I'd managed to figure out which buttons to push, we'd probably have been at the bottom of that maw's stomach."

He felt a little bad for darkening the mood, and almost making it sound like a reprimand, but he didn't want anyone else to have to face a similar situation without being as prepared as they could possibly be, at least.

Still, he offered Garrus a small smile, trying to make it clear that he wasn't actually mad at either of them, but simply being cautious. "The weapons system was perfectly calibrated and maintained, though. The precision of that targeting system, especially, was very impressive and almost made up for my lack of experience at operating the Mako. It probably saved our lives more than once, too. So we really owe you for that. Thanks."

The somewhat surprised look that had crossed Garrus' face as Kaidan reprimanded the both of them was quickly wiped away, and the turian leaned back in his chair, arms crossing as one of the ridges above his eyes bowed upwards. "I'm glad to hear that, Lieutenant," he admitted, before his tone grew serious. "But I agree; we need to set up seating rotations, and make sure the crew has at the very least basic hands-on training."

Shepard looked between the both of them, somewhat taken aback by Garrus' admission. "Really, Garrus? You'd let someone else touch your guns?" he asked, feigning surprise – he faltered at the look Kaidan gave him, however, and coughed, putting back on his serious face. "No, you're right. I'll make sure to put forward an official order for mandatory training for both seats in the Mako. I'm not putting anyone else on my squad in danger if something like this were to happen again. Not if I can help it."

"Thanks, Commander," Kaidan said, offering him a grateful smile. "I really appreciate that." In fact he was rather satisfied that they both had agreed to it. "And I'm not suggesting to let anyone else calibrate – or even tamper with – Garrus' guns, you know. Just as long as they know how to handle and fire them." Garrus snickered in response.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint Wrex, though," Kaidan added with a light chuckle, shaking his head a little. "The thresher was already in pretty rough shape by the time that we had to evacuate the Mako," he explained, exposing the facts without embellishment. "In fact, I thought it was dead. So I dragged Shepard out of the vehicle – unsuccessfully managing to avoid getting his armor in contact with the acid – and once I thought that we were finally safe, the damn thing sprang back to life!" he recalled, a shiver running down his spine at the memory.

"I reaved its nervous system with my biotics. It went down – for good this time – I was able to activate the distress signal, and then carry Shepard to shelter. The rest, Dr. Chakwas probably already told you about." Or, at least, Kaidan hoped that she did. He didn't really feel like getting over the details of how the Commander had almost died on him back there. The emotions were still a bit too raw, and if he could avoid a situation where he would most likely end up completely breaking down in Shepard's arms right in front of the turian, he'd appreciate it.

Shepard seemed to sense his apprehension, because he suddenly reached over and gave Kaidan a reassuring squeeze on the knee, flashing him a soft smile. "Yeah. If it weren't for Kaidan, I wouldn't be here right now. I'm starting to think I need to keep a tally because I owe him several drinks by now," he teased.

Kaidan initial surprise at Shepard's small public display of affection – or well, support – quickly dissipated, and he found himself returning the smile with a somewhat bashful sidelong glance. He was grateful that they had succeeded in deactivating the alarms on their heart rate monitors earlier, because he knew that his must have been racing once again. If the pounding in his chest and the slight giddiness he felt was any indication, at least.

The fact that Shepard had both sensed his distress, and immediately reached out to comfort him – regardless of how such a gesture could be interpreted – made Kaidan feel like he was important enough for him to take some risks and avoid holding back. And that made him feel incredibly happy, for some reason. He had to wonder if he'd ever stop falling even deeper in love with that man…

They both looked over to see Garrus giving them a knowing look, and Shepard's hand left Kaidan's leg as he gave an awkward cough; while Kaidan quickly brought his attention back to his food, staring at his plate perhaps a tad too intently. "Still. Reaving a thresher maw, no matter how shot up it is – that's pretty impressive, Lieutenant," Garrus said, giving Kaidan an acknowledging tilt of his head. "I'm not suggesting you get a – what do you humans call it? An inflated skull? – over it, but still. I'd be proud if I were you."

"Yeah. I am, I guess," he replied with a small sigh, finally finding the courage to look up again. "I mean, I'd be lying if I said that I am not pleased with the actual outcome of my actions back there…" he trailed off, doing his best to avoid staring meaningfully at Shepard once again.

"My Commander and I made it out alive and without permanent injuries." Not to mention that whole part about them being given the chance to come to terms with their feelings for each other, initiate a deeper relationship, and… well… a healthy level of physical contact. "So although I unfortunately had to sacrifice the Mako, I'm forced to admit that, overall, I did pretty good."

Shepard grinned at him, lifting his protein shake in a mock toast. "Aye aye, Lieutenant. You did good," he acknowledged, before taking a swig of the drink and managing to hold back from making another face. "On second thought, toasts are better with alcohol." Kaidan snickered at him, and Shepard only grinned a little wider at that.

While Kaidan had been trained to handle more regular combat situations usually involving actual enemy forces, and was now even getting pretty used to fighting Saren's army of synthetics, he had to admit that going one-on-one with a gigantic wild creature wasn't something that he'd ever been truly prepared for.

So the knowledge that, despite it all, he'd been able to handle himself out there, and deal with such unexpected variables on a mission, did make him feel rather good about his abilities as a soldier. If he'd ever had any doubts whether or not he actually deserved to have made it on Commander Shepard's team, working alongside the very first human Spectre, this was exactly the kind of stuff that was likely to succeed in making him feel like he truly belonged there.

Of course, he entertained no illusion of ever making it as far as Shepard had, at least not career wise. Captain Anderson had once hinted that he believed that Kaidan had strong leadership capabilities, and maybe he did. But, as far as he was concerned, that was not where he felt happier, or even most useful.

It wasn't that he lacked ambition, or even that he didn't trust that he would be able to make the hard calls if the situation ever asked for it. But the truth was that Kaidan simply and genuinely enjoyed to assist and to help people, especially those in Shepard's position. As his Lieutenant, he was allowed and even encouraged to find ways to make things easier for the Commander, and also more effective for the rest of the crew and their mission.

And since Shepard was a smart and very capable leader that valued his crew's opinion, and appreciated their personal input, it made his work even more enjoyable – rewarding, even. Not having to carry the full responsibility of their mission allowed him to take a step back, gain a certain perspective on things, remain inconspicuous, and keep an eye out for anything that Shepard might have missed. The dirty looks that ambassador Udina was sending him behind his back, for example.

Regardless of his personal feelings for the Commander, Kaidan found that, given the choice, he preferred to be in a position where he could have said Commander's back, do his best to offer him empathy and support, and to basically take the pressure off of him, rather than being the one directly calling the shots. Even on previous assignments, he'd always been able to efficiently anticipate his C.O.'s needs, and respond appropriately. To show initiative and take a few extra steps in order to help out, instead of simply "doing his job," and sticking strictly to what was expected of him.

Sure, he may have flirted with insubordination every once in a while, but he was also pretty good at sensing when he was getting dangerously close to crossing his superior's tolerance limits.

However, the fact that he sometimes sought to share responsibility with those in command, because he was somewhat aware of how ridiculously demanding and stressful being in that position was, didn't mean that he wished to take over.

Not to mention that he didn't really need any public recognition for his work. He had always managed to find his own satisfaction and motivation from simply witnessing the result of his actions, and from knowing that he had respected the personal standards that he'd chosen to set for himself.

To put it simply, as long as Kaidan knew that he was acting with integrity, respecting and supporting his fellow squad mates as best he could, avoiding letting his commanding officer down, performing to the best of his abilities, and putting the success of the mission above anything else, he was perfectly happy.

Getting an "inflated skull" – as Garrus had put it – was thus very unlikely, since it would require completely losing sight of who he was, and the reasons why he had chosen to serve and become an Alliance soldier.

While he wasn't exactly comfortable with, or even used to the attention he was now receiving, he had to admit that getting some level of recognition for his efforts from his Commander, as well as other fellow soldiers – whether they were Alliance or not – did mean a lot to him, though.

"Please don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you guys seem impressed with what I did down there," he added with a sincere smile. "And I'm not trying to downplay it, it's just… I really feel like I was only doing my job, you know?" he said, hoping that they would understand where he was coming from, and not think that he was falsely being modest.

"While all of this was going on, I barely had the time to realize what I was doing. All I knew was that I had to keep Shepard safe," he explained, then chuckled a little. "Maybe I just need some more time before it really hits, and I start making plans to go game hunting on Tuchanka with Wrex."

Garrus couldn't keep from snickering again. "Oh, that'd be a sight to see. Thresher maw hunting with Urdnot Wrex and Kaidan Alenko. Think we could make an extranet show out of it?"

Shepard rolled his eyes, setting down his protein shake and swirling some of the meat substitute on the plate with a fork. "Let's worry about hair-brained show ideas after we take down Saren," he said, taking a moment to point his fork at Garrus with a hard look. "So. While we were freezing our nuts off in that cave, what the hell was happening on your end, Vakarian?"

Garrus' mandibles twitched into a half-grin. "Would you believe me if I told you a whole load of nothing?"

Shepard stared at him for a moment, one dark eyebrow twitching upwards. "Knowing you? No."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Commander, but that's exactly what happened," the turian said, shrugging heavily. "I was patrolling the perimeter of the facility, making sure there weren't any slavers hiding in wait anywhere, when one of the scientists pinged me. She was freaking out, said they were watching your progress on the radar and when you reached the site of the distress signal… well, things went a little crazy for a few minutes and then suddenly your distress signal was going off."

"Sounds about right," Shepard said, somewhat under his breath.

"I contacted the Normandy immediately," Garrus continued, scratching at the side of his neck with a talon as he recalled the events from before. "I was ready to jump into the remaining vehicle there, but it wasn't equipped for combat and we had no idea what had happened to either of you. We tried to hail you multiple times but you weren't answering – considering the fact that half of the equipment in the Mako was fried from maw acid, that makes sense now."

He shifted in his seat. "Things were really tense at first – I wanted to find you immediately, Pressly said we had protocols to follow, I may or may not have yelled at him," he explained, looking to the side with a somewhat sheepish look. "The Normandy made an emergency drop at the nearest Alliance facility on Gellix and rounded up a fully equipped Mako and a medical rover. I took the research vehicle and met them at a drop zone not far from your location – then we gathered up and headed towards the Mako's crash site.

"Of course, you're probably aware of what we found," Garrus said, giving Kaidan a pointed look. "Two wrecked vehicles, multiple bodies, and a dead thresher maw. Neither of you were among the bodies, and we knew you had to have been alive long enough to activate the distress signal and grab the Mako's emergency kit. The blizzard had already covered your tracks but Williams figured that the two of you had probably headed towards the nearest caves. And the rest – well, you know the rest."

Yeah, Ash caught us making out in our small clothes… Kaidan thought, smiling to himself. "Yeah, and it's good you guys got to us when you did, too," he said, instead. "I don't think we would have been able to last much longer."

The silence that followed made him realize that the thought had probably crossed Garrus' mind, too. As scared as they had been not to be found in time, chances were that the rest of their squad had been worried sick about them in the meantime. Actually, Kaidan realized, "squad" was probably too weak a term. Garrus, Ash, Tali, Liara, and even Wrex… It was difficult not to think of them as any less than friends. And very good ones, too.

He also knew that Shepard and Garrus had gotten especially close over the last few months. Not in the same way that the Commander and he had, obviously. But still, they were brothers in all but blood. So the way that the turian was looking at his hands with what might be interpreted as a sad and pensive frown, the Lieutenant worried that he was second-guessing his actions, and feeling guilt over the fact that they'd almost been too late to save them.

"I'm glad that you stuck to protocol and didn't do anything stupid like coming to our rescue on your own, riding a weaponless research vehicle, and armed with a single sniper rifle, though," Kaidan told him sincerely, offering him a warm smile when he finally looked up. "If I had failed to defeat that thresher maw, or we had gotten ambushed by a group of angry and heavily armed batarians, then you'd most likely have gotten yourself killed."

Garrus' mandibles twitched as he let out a throaty laugh. "Don't underestimate me, Alenko. All I need is a single sniper rifle," he said, offering him a deliberate wink. "Without protocol getting in the way I'd probably have a gold medal by now."

Shepard didn't even bother to conceal his snort. "Tell you what, Garrus, I'll get you a gold star sticker. You can put it wherever you like," he replied, grinning cheekily at the turian and receiving a rude glare in response. "Seriously, though, I'm glad you followed protocol. Things… they could have gone a lot worse if you hadn't. They'd probably have three corpses on their hands, and I don't think going out as a turian-popsicle is your top priority."

Garrus huffed. "Jeez, you too? I can see that neither of you have much faith in me! What do I have to do to get a little respect around here?"

"I dunno. I'll let you know when it happens," Shepard replied, still grinning.

"Oh. Well that's reassuring."

"You can't have everything, Garrus," Kaidan teased with a small shrug. "The looks, the swagger, the girls, the respect… Speaking of which, are you really trying to convert the whole crew to xenophilia?" he asked, eyeing the Fornax magazine. "And here I thought that Ash was special, you know. She might be disappointed."

"No, I was just curious to see if either of you were into elcor. Lower deck rumors and whatnot," Garrus replied, waggling his eyebrow ridges. Shepard glared at him.

"Hey! It's none of your or the crew's business what I'm into," he snapped, glowering at the turian as he grinned. "I'll have you know that elcor make for very fulfilling and passionate lovers."

"They'd have to… If it takes them 14 hours to perform Hamlet, you'd probably need to devote your entire shore leave to it," Kaidan commented, smirking a bit as he noticed that Garrus had apparently completely ignored his comment about Ashley. "And you've probably got to hope that your partner is particularly good at being descriptive, if not the entire experience must end up feeling like a badly written romance novel."

Shepard nearly choked on the mouthful of protein shake he'd swallowed at that moment, sputtering for a moment and pounding a fist against his chest until he could clear his throat. "Jesus Christ, Kaidan," he admonished, giving a strangled laugh. "I think now's a good time to change the subject before this gets out of hand."

He coughed again, before turning his attention back over to Garrus. "So you've been giving Fornax to Ash, huh," he said, grinning at him. "Any intentions there, Vakarian? Or are you just trying to make her blush?"

Garrus' eyebrow ridges shot upwards in surprise, mandibles flaring. "I never said I was interested in Williams," he replied quickly. "I mean, I admire her – she's a great shot, and a damn fine soldier. And she hasn't tried to kill me for hiding porn under her pillow so that means she's got a good sense of humor, too."

"Not to mention, the things she can do with her hands…" Kaidan whispered appreciatively, then had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep himself from laughing at the surprised and green-eyed look that Garrus immediately sent his way. Come to think of it, he had a feeling that he was starting to get pretty good at reading turian physiognomy.

"I get migraines, remember?" he clarified, watching, amused, as said turian immediately relaxed before his eyes widened ever so slightly, obviously embarrassed to have been caught taking the bait so easily. "So she's been kind enough to help me through a few bad flare ups." Yeah, Kaidan was under the distinct impression that Garrus probably wasn't especially fond of his sense of humor right now.

"You are right, she is a very admirable woman, though," he agreed, not even bothering to hide the barely restrained laughter in his voice. "Strong enough to put a krogan back in his place, yet very devoted and caring…"

Shepard was staring a bit too intently at the meatloaf substitute on his plate, more focused on swirling it around with his fork than actually eating it. Garrus seemed to take notice, however. "I don't think stirring it is going to make it taste any better," he teased, and Shepard flushed in embarrassment, immediately laying his fork down with a click.

"Well if someone had remembered to bring us some ketchup, then maybe I'd be more inclined to eat it," Shepard shot back, pinning Garrus with a half-assed glare. "I swear, you're a terrible waiter." He sniffed, crossing his arms. "I'm not tipping you."

Garrus stared blankly at him. "What does pushing me over have to do with serving food?"

"Oh god," Kaidan said, laughing and wiping at tears with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, I think I'm either really tired, or need to ease back on the sedatives…"

"Come on Garrus, you are C-sec!" he pointed out, staring at him with a disbelieving look. "I mean, you must know that the best way to ah… get extra attention from the dancers at Chora's Den is to offer a little something extra in return, and what humans call it."

An indignant look crossed Garrus' face at that – at least, what appeared to be an indignant look. "What does being in C-Sec have to do with Chora's Den? And besides, as attractive as I'm sure Shepard is by human standards of beauty, I'm glad he's not going to 'tip' me for that sort of… thing. I still don't see what it has to do with serving food."

Shepard smacked a hand over his face, shaking his head with a heavy sigh while Kaidan broke down into another fit of laughter. "No, Garrus," he began, lowering his hand and giving him a sympathetic look, "Tipping is what you do when you want to pay your waiter extra for good service. Alenko here just gave a… um… questionable example." He shot a withering look towards Kaidan, who was still laughing.

"And it works both ways. Sometimes, it's a way to show appreciation for the service you've just received, or sometimes, you can pay a little extra in advance in order to ensure that the service is going to be good," Kaidan offered helpfully, having now calmed down a little bit, and trying to do his best to ignore Shepard's scowl.

"Are you telling me that no one else in the galaxy actually does this?" he enquired, actually pretty surprised by the potential revelation. Might explain why certain species tended to believe that humans seemed to expect preferential treatments… He tried not to laugh again. "Jesus Christ, Shepard… Hopefully we humans didn't end up insulting a whole bunch of people out there by wanting to be polite, and having them think that we are trying to bribe them instead." Because that would just really be terrible.

Shepard snorted. "Certainly explains a lot, I think," he replied, chuckling under his breath. Garrus looked between the both of them, still looking somewhat embarrassed.

"No offense, but I don't think I'm ever going to get used to human language. Either my translator glitched on that one or your kind has some very, very fickle wording," he said, almost sullenly. "Tipping. Honestly."

"Yeah, tipping," Kaidan repeated with a shrug. "Would gratuity make more sense? I don't know." It wasn't like he had a degree in etymology. "In French, it would be pourboire... Which might make more sense, I guess, since pour boire means 'for drinking.' So it's like offering someone a drink to thank them for their services."

Shepard straightened up at that, giving Kaidan an incredulous look. "Wait. You speak French?" he asked before Garrus could even open his mouth, earning a sullen glare from the turian.

Kaidan was a bit taken aback by Shepard's reaction and froze for a few seconds. "Uh… Yes," he finally replied, raising an eyebrow and returning him a questioning look of his own. "As a matter of fact, it's probably somewhere on my records." Then again, considering that most inter-species communications were made possible thanks to the use of translators, it wasn't like it would be considered important information… Sort of like the color of his eyes, for example. It was one of these things that most people would skip reading because it obviously had nothing to do with a soldier or an officer's ability to perform their duty, and was easy enough to find out on their own.

"I used to do well at school as a kid and get bored easily… So, my teachers suggested that I take my exams earlier in the semester, and get an extra class instead. I ended up choosing French because I really liked The Three Musketeers and its sequels, and wanted to get to experience those books in their language of origin." he explained, suddenly aware of how very nerdy it must have sounded. "I uh… Things tend to get lost in translation."

"Oh, we're not going to sit here chatting about the intricacies of human languages, are we?" Garrus suddenly butt in, voice lilting with amused exasperation. "You do realize that it all translates the same for us aliens, right?"

"Well… Yeah, but…" Kaidan began, looking away while rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't go any further, however, realizing that even if he could manage to explain what he'd meant by that, chances are it wouldn't really interest the turian.

Shepard rolled his eyes, before rolling his head towards Garrus and giving him a pointed look. "If you're bored, I promise I won't cry if you run off."

Garrus pulled back at that, expression morphing into something that might have been affronted, while the Lieutenant couldn't resist a small smile. "Getting rid of me, huh? I see how it is!" He grinned, however, grabbing onto the armrests of his chair and pushing into a standing position. "Though I suppose I have been hogging you both. I should probably get out of here before Wrex busts the door down."

Kaidan groaned a bit at that. "Yeah, that ought to be interesting…" he mumbled to himself. He liked Wrex well enough, but couldn't help but think that the krogan's enthusiasm might end up giving him headache, especially today.

"Oh, and Garrus, Tennyson," he told him with a little knowing smile, before the turian had the chance to leave. "The intricacies of the human language might bore you, but Ash has a passion for poetry, especially Alfred, Lord Tennyson. I suggest you look it up."

"Aye aye, Lieutenant. Maybe I'll stick some Tennyson in the next Fornax I hide in her bed," Garrus responded with a grin, giving them both a mock salute, before slipping through the med bay door as it shut behind him.

Shepard snickered under his breath. "Oh, I want to see the look on her face when she gets that one."

"You never know…" Kaidan said, expression soft, if a bit mischievous, making it clear that he probably be knew a little more than he'd been letting on, "…she might actually be touched by it."

"Okay, but if I catch Garrus and Ash making out, I am holding that 'if I have to kiss a turian' comment she made over her head for as long as I can," Shepard commented with a sideways grin, stabbing a hunk of meatloaf on his plate and chewing it.

"Wait-what-how?" Kaidan asked with a light chuckle. What was that about Ash having to kiss a turian? He was definitely missing some context here.

Shepard snorted. "Sorry, I had a conversation a while back with her, and I don't remember the exact wording but she told me 'you say 'jump', I say 'how high'. You tell me to kiss a turian, I'll ask which cheek'," he quoted, putting on a half-assed impression of the gunnery chief before shaking his head and laughing at himself.

The Lieutenant easily joined in the laughter. "See, I told you, you never know," he repeated, seemingly even more amused. "I'm sure that – on a subconscious level, at least – there's a reason why she went for a turian in that example."

"Or maybe I'm reading too much into it…" he conceded, shrugging a little, though the knowing smile never left his lips. All he knew was that Ash's attitude towards aliens in general had truly begun to change over the last few months, and he had the distinct impression that a large part of it was due to Garrus' influence.

Even in the earlier days, shortly after the team had been put together, he'd often caught Ashley and the turian exchanging thoughts together on their latest mission, comparing rifles and ammunitions, and discussing ground tactics, among other things.

At first, their exchanges had remained mostly serious and civil… But, within a few weeks, they'd begun affectionately teasing and often playing pranks on each other, engaging in friendly sparing sessions, seeking each other out during their free time, and – while Kaidan had been careful not to eavesdrop on them – the subject of their conversations seemed to have taken a more personal turn than professional reviews regarding the efficiency of the newly acquired sledgehammer rounds.

At least, he doubted that the sledgehammer rounds would be responsible for making Ash laugh, and her eyes light up so much. And, if Garrus' earlier reaction was any indication, it appeared that the turian had grown pretty fond of her, too. Hopefully, they wouldn't end up needing a close brush with death for them to realize it.

Shepard couldn't help but grin at the knowing look on Kaidan's face. "I think Ash deserves a bit of happiness, don't you think?" he said, smile dimming only slightly – he suddenly remembered the look on her face, the tone of her voice as she'd stood outside his cabin door and told him about losing her unit on Eden Prime. Yeah… She deserved someone who could make her smile and forget for maybe a moment that she wasn't going to be defined by her losses or the military career of her family. And if that someone happened to be a turian – well, so what?

"That she does," Kaidan agreed. "I mean, ever since I've known her, she's always been pushing herself so hard… Like she believes that she has something to prove or… needs to justify her very existence, somehow." Not that he was that much different, to be honest. In fact, most of their crew had probably all felt the need that they had something to prove at some point in their lives, or still felt like it.

A ship full of driven perfectionists with extremely high standards regarding their own work, unwilling to ever compromise or accept defeat, and having been chosen to serve on the Normandy for being among "the best of the best." Willing to sacrifice themselves in order to protect others if need be, and dedicating a large part of their lives to their ideals… Yeah, not exactly the easiest going bunch of people in the galaxy, and probably filled with a lot of underlying personal issues.

But while they were both highly disciplined in the field – almost obsessively so – and shared a common fear of making mistakes… Ashley appeared to be having an even harder time than him at being able to take any credit for her actions.

He sighed. "I wish that Ash would realize that she's just as good a soldier as any of us sometimes… Actually, as much as I respect the Alliance, she really deserved way more recognition for her contribution to the military than what she got. At least Anderson was smart enough to see it, and asked her to stay."

She'd told him about her grandfather, the role that he had played in the First Contact War, and how that "stain" on her family's name had ended up hindering both her father's and her own military career. Some people would have gotten bitter about it, and told the Alliance to fuck off… but not Ash. Instead, she refused to let anyone tell her what she should or shouldn't do, and became determined to prove them wrong.

The problem was that Kaidan feared that no matter her efforts, some people still holding a grudge over General Williams' surrender to enemy forces would never want to let her truly receive the attention that she deserved. As if she would have to be dead for them to be satisfied, and believe that her dedication and desire to serve the Alliance and the galactic community to the best of her abilities was genuine.

Not to mention that her grandfather had done the right thing. He'd refused to sacrifice the lives of a civilian colony once he knew that there was no hope of them receiving any reinforcement or successfully getting the upper hand. The option was either surrendering to the turians, or getting massacred. Wasting human lives on principle alone wasn't something that Kaidan could ever agree with. And the fact that he had willingly sacrificed both his career and reputation to save these lives was something that he considered worthy of admiration, and respect.

So yeah, seeing his granddaughter still paying the price for it, and still being expected to make even more sacrifices was very hard for him to accept.

"I'm glad Anderson asked her to stay," Shepard replied, tapping his fork against his plate idly as he stared down at the meat sub. "I mean, I could go on about how proud I am of this crew and how I'm glad each and every single one of you are here, but I don't want to sound too sappy," he added, flashing Kaidan a half-grin. "I think, as this mission unfolds, we're all going to have our times to shine and show them all what we're really worth. A galaxy-wide threat has a way of bringing out the best in people."

"You're right. We've-" Kaidan began, only to be interrupted by the sound of the med bay doors opening, allowing a large and frustrated looking krogan to come rushing through with a slightly agitated Garrus in tow.

"Wrex! What did Dr. Chakwas say about letting them r-"

"Yeah yeah!" Wrex replied, completely dismissing the other alien's concerns. "You've been in here for almost a full half an hour, turian. You've had your fun, now it's my turn."

He then stopped right in front of Kaidan, arms crossed, their faces almost touching, with Wrex staring him down with an aggressive, challenging expression.

Now what? Kaidan wondered, not quite sure he understood how he was supposed to react, and not exactly in the mood for games, either. Yet, something told him that throwing a look in Shepard's direction in order to receive some kind of input regarding what to do in such a situation might turn out to be a mistake.

On some level, it looked like the krogan was appraising him… while perhaps also trying to intimidate him… It was hard to tell. Not that he thought that Wrex would dare try anything really dangerous or stupid, especially not here in the medbay with both Garrus and the Commander watching.

So he decided that he might as well simply sustain the krogan's gaze, remaining perfectly calm and unaffected – trying to ignore the smell of the hot breath wafting on his face to the best of his abilities – and wait for Wrex to make the first move.

After a minute of two of this odd staring contest, the krogan's snarl finally loosened, and the corner of his mouth subtly began to lift in what seemed to be the beginning of a satisfied smirk.

"Alenko," Wrex stated neutrally.

"Wrex," the biotic answered, maintaining eye contact.

Kaidan's casual greeting was quickly followed by a loud "Oomph!" as Wrex suddenly pulled him against his solid chest and gave him two solid pats on the back – effectively knocking the wind out of him – in probably what could be described as the most testosterone-filled, manliest hug he'd ever received.

"You've got a real quad, kid!" Wrex exclaimed enthusiastically, releasing his hold on the Lieutenant with a resounding laugh and a wide grin on his face.

"Wrex!" Garrus called again, tone half-worried, half-disapproving.

"What?" the krogan asked, smile unwavering. "I promised that I wouldn't headbutt him, and I didn't."

Still coughing and trying to recover from the powerful accolade, Kaidan's eyes suddenly went wide as he realized just how close he'd gotten to earning one Hell of a headache. Or perhaps even a cracked skull…

He felt Shepard put a comforting hand on his back and turned his head to the left a bit to meet his gaze. Seeing the concern written there, he made a little wave with his hand and gave him a nod to let him know that it's okay, I'm fine, everything's under control-

"Besides, he probably would've been able to take it! The kid's sturdier than he looks!" Wrex added, voice laced with pride and approval.

No I wouldn't. No I'm not. Kaidan thought, finally having succeeded in catching his breath, hoping that this would be the end of the whole krogan ritual show of testosterone display.

"You know, I had my doubts about you, Alenko…" Wrex began "…always so controlled, so polite, so painfully soft, and so reluctant to take risks. But this…"

To his great credit, the Lieutenant managed to avoid jumping out of his skin as the large and heavy alien suddenly smashed his fist in his opposite hand, while jumping excitedly on the spot, making the whole med bay shake and the bed rails vibrate.

"This is amazing! I once killed a thresher maw on foot too, you know. Of course it was a little bigger, and I had my krantt by my side. But taking one down single-handedly…" he trailed off, expression filled with wonder and longing.

Okay, as long as he doesn't try to kiss me… Kaidan had half a mind to inconspicuously begin moving towards Shepard, in order to very bravely go hide behind the other man's back…

"Were you on Tuchanka – and a krogan – you'd have received quite a few breeding requests by now," Wrex added proudly, chest puffed.

Kaidan's eyebrows shot straight up in surprise, and he could see that both Garrus and the Commander were doing their damnedest not to laugh.

Thankfully, it occurred to him that he'd just received what was probably one of the highest forms of compliment that a krogan could ever offer someone – especially one from another species.

So he did his best to ignore the absolute weirdness and surrealism of the situation, and try to make his initial surprise look like he was greatly pleased and impressed instead. "Thanks Wrex. That's uh… Wow. I don't quite know what to answer to that, you know," he finally managed to say with a shy, hopefully grateful looking smile.

Seeing that Wrex' initial excitement seemed to have deflated a bit, he also allowed himself to relax, and took a sip from his protein shake in order to help clear his throat.

"You know, I'd never understood it before, but now… Now I get it," the alien said, sounding like he'd just had an epiphany, and was remarkably pleased with himself for having unlocked one of the great mysteries of the Universe.

"Get what?" Kaidan prompted innocently, taking another large sip from his cup, blissfully unaware of the danger…

"Why a popular, respected and powerful battlemaster like Shepard would sacrifice his chance to successfully impregnate a fertile female in order to make you his mate."

By the time that Wrex was done talking, half of the liquid that had previously been in Kaidan's mouth had been violently sprayed all over the sheets in front of him, and he found himself once again coughing and choking on the other half, trying to find his breath.

"Damnit Wrex!" Garrus exclaimed, his voice a mix of frustration, annoyance and pure discouragement. Shepard looked absolutely mortified, face and neck flushing a brilliant shade of red – he immediately sunk down into his bed, pulling the sheets up in a vain effort to hide his face.

"What?" Wrex once again enquired with a confused shrug. "I've got absolutely nothing against that! As a matter of fact, since you turians unleashed the genophage on my people, and the number of our fertile females has declined, it's become very common to see two males physically bond together. Excuse me for forgetting that being able to have kids of your own is not on the same level of priority in other species. Especially when you're likely to breed very strong offspring," he went on to explain, having obviously misunderstood the meaning behind Garrus' interjection.

He then turned his attention towards the Commander, who didn't lower the sheet covering his face until he was sure he wasn't embarrassingly red anymore. "I mean it, Shepard. Alenko is a good, strong choice for a mate. And worthy of someone of your rank," he stated with an encouraging, confident smile. "You can be proud over the success of your courtship."

"Um... thank you, Wrex," Shepard managed to reply, reaching over to pat Kaidan on the back again in an ill effort to help him breathe easy. He shot him an apologetic look as he did so. "I… appreciate your blessing, but I'll have to ask you do me the favor of keeping Lieutenant Alenko's and my relationship on the quiet side. Fraternization in the Alliance is… problematic."

Garrus snorted lightly. "Commander, I don't think anyone on this ship cares at this point."

Shepard froze in spot at that, hand hovering over Kaidan's back, who had only just managed to regain his composure and recover from the initial shock. "Wait, what?"

"Wha-" Kaidan tried to repeat after him, but it came out as a small croak. Damn it! "What?"he finally managed more clearly after having cleared his throat and taken a deep breath.

Garrus shuffled a bit awkwardly at the wide-eyed look Shepard was giving him, before coughing loudly. "Um. I think everyone on the Normandy from Joker to the requisitions officer knew you two were going to hook up before either of you did. Pretty sure someone started a pool."

Shepard groaned out loud, burying his face in his hands as the blush returned and burned down the back of his neck. "Oh my god. You can't be serious." He made the mistake of looking up, catching the look on Garrus' face as his eyebrow ridges lifted in sympathy. "You're serious."

"Yeah, and by the way, I totally won that non-existing pool that everyone will deny ever existed because gambling is clearly against the regs, and not something that would be seen ever happening on this ship either,"Joker said over the Normandy's intercom.

It suddenly occurred to Kaidan that Joker had access to all of the surveillance cameras from his cockpit. And, sure enough, the little red light had been turned back on… Meaning that earlier… Oh god. Judging from Shepard's expression, it was clear that he'd probably come to the same conclusion.

So we're really doing this, aren't we? Kaidan thought, somewhat amazed by this strange turn of events. When Wrex had mentioned the relationship, he'd half expected the Commander to go on the defensive and immediately deny it – and he'd been prepared to accept that. In fact, he would have been ready to put his mask of professionalism back on and support his claims if need be.

Except Shepard hadn't tried to deny it. He'd even reached out for him to make sure he was okay while simply asking for Wrex's discretion. While part of him was beyond embarrassed and suddenly wished to have the ability to vanish through the floor… Another part of him felt oddly elated...

Figuring that there wasn't any point in trying to hide his affection anymore, he discreetly reached for Shepard's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. Their eyes met for a moment, and he offered him a gentle if slightly nervous smile.

His gaze remained entirely open and confident, though, letting his love know that he had absolutely no second thoughts about this… about them. In fact, he'd never been so sure of anything in his life.

Any feeling of anxiety he was experiencing right now had more to do with the fact that he'd always been a very private person that kept most of his personal thoughts and feelings to himself. Actually, it appeared that he'd even managed to successfully keep some of these personal feelings from himself over the last few months.

Suddenly discovering that you'd hopelessly fallen in love with your commanding officer without even being aware of it was bound to be pretty overwhelming, to say the least. Learning that, meanwhile, virtually the whole crew had noticed it happening without doing anything to prevent it – even more so.

There had been no questions asked, no warnings, no disapproving glares or any concern raised about their ability to perform their respective duties. Now that he thought about it, he was under the distinct impression that most of the crew had even been very careful to let them have some time and space to themselves during off-duty hours.

"Why didn't you guys say anything?" Kaidan inquired, looking at Garrus with a perplexed expression.

"Like what? 'Kiss him already'?" Wrex asked, and the turian had to put his hand in front of his face and tilt his head downward in an effort to hide his near irresistible urge to laugh.

"'Cause as far as the mission and our work is concerned, the Commander's always treated all of us equally. Plus, he knows what he's doing. Besides, you're so obsessed about being all noble and always doing the right thing, Alenko, that you'd probably rip him a new one if he ever tried to let his feelings for you interfere with his command," Joker answered truthfully, and Kaidan felt very grateful that he pilot had not only understood his question – meaning he wouldn't need to elaborate – but was providing them with an actual helpful answer, for once.

"And really, think about all the money that we could make selling the vids of two of the hottest and most powerful human biotics having wild sex together, Commander! I mean, you could entirely finance your Spectre operations without depending on the Alliance anymore, pay us all at least twice our current salary, and say goodbye to all the pesky regs! Total win-win scenario."

Helpful Joker moment – gone. Shepard made a sound in the pit of his throat that might have been choking, immediately covering his face again out of sheer embarrassment.

"Joker. Please. Stop."

"Regs regs regs… What are you crazy aliens going on about?" Wrex exclaimed in an exasperated tone, watching them all as if no one was suddenly making any sense.

"Weren't you listening when Williams explained about…" Garrus began, then realized from the krogan's very pointed look that his answer was already within the question. "Nevermind," he concluded with a sigh.

"See Wrex, when a Commander and his Staff Lieutenant love each other very much…"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Joker…" Kaidan muttered while letting himself fall back on his bed, bringing his pillow in front his face in a mock attempt to smother himself with it. "Just tell me when it's over…" he added in a muffled voice.

"…some very uptight – and probably sexually repressed – Alliance people become afraid that their feelings for one another might end up complicating the almighty chain of command, and cloud their ability to produce rational thoughts. Therefore, they devise an evil plan and set up a bunch of rules that are supposed to scare them from getting too close and comfy with each other," Joker narrated as if he was telling a children story.

"That sounds like something that came right out of a salarian's cloaca!" Wrex scoffed, visibly unimpressed.

This time, Garrus openly guffawed. "I must admit that I'm with Wrex on that one, Joker." After all, the art of war and the need to respect the chain of command was something that was taught to turians so early on in their lives, and deeply respected and understood by all, that the risk of an intimate relationship interfering with a soldier's ability to perform his duty wasn't something that military leaders had learned to fear.

On the contrary, it could even serve as a very powerful personal motivator, making sure that they would serve with absolute honor because of their desire to make their mate proud.

"Well, total bullshit or not, the Alliance brass can be pretty serious about that sort of thing,"Joker replied, his voice surprisingly sober. "I mean it guys. Everyone on this ship has seen the way that the Commander and Alenko work together, and we all trust them to remain professional and not lose sight of their priorities no matter what. But if the fact that they became involved with each other gets into the wrong ears, Shepard's Spectre status combined with both their service history might protect them on some level, but it may not prevent Kaidan from being reassigned. And no offense, Commander, but I feel a bit safer about the amount of 'crazy' on this ship when he's around."

Shepard sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "Yeah… yeah, Joker is right, unfortunately." He opened his eyes after a moment, looking between Wrex and Garrus, while Kaidan finally removed the pillow from his face and sat up, joining back in the conversation. "I know it's different for your species, but in our military, a relationship between a superior and a subordinate is considered a problem. If there's any amount of coercion involved, abuse of power… it affects morale, and puts the subordinate in a shitty situation. And if it's mutual, they're afraid it will affect battlefield decisions. Favoritism can lead to bad calls and… worst-case scenario, someone could die because of it."

He looked over at Kaidan for a moment, before turning back to the others. "And while I agree with the precautions to prevent said worst case scenario, I do think it is possible to balance romance with duty. I'm just afraid the Alliance won't make that distinction for Kaidan and me. Believe me, I don't want to see him transferred any more than you do, Joker. We need him. I need him."

Now this was something that they could definitely both agree on, as Kaidan didn't believe that it was possible for him to find another partner both on and off the battlefield that brought up the best in him like Shepard did.

"Yeah, and after that stunt he just pulled on Gellix, I need him to teach me how to Reave," Wrex pointed out. "Your leaders may be a bunch of idiots, but I know from personal experience that a bunch of idiots in leadership positions can still cause a shitload of trouble," he added with a sigh. "I'll make sure not to let anything slide. Anyway, it's not like I enjoy friendly conversations with humans except for you and a few members of your crew, Shepard."

"And besides the strength of his biotics, Alenko's got a strong awareness of his surroundings in battle, and his skills work very well whether the situation calls for an offensive or defensive approach," Garrus supplied in turn. "He's a hell of a soldier, and I do appreciate having him there watching our backs. So don't worry, Shepard, I'll be discreet."

"And I, uh… do feel like I belong here, you know?" Kaidan began, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, and feeling like he needed to say something... Was it just him or was it starting to get rather hot in the med bay, though? "I mean, this is the best assignment I've ever been given, not to mention the greatest crew that I've ever had the chance to work with… and… ah…"

"Yeah yeah, we love you too," Joker cut him off, and the L2 could almost hear the smile in his voice.

Thanks Joker, I owe you one, Kaidan thought, grateful that he'd just saved him from further awkwardness.

"So it's agreed then. What happens on the Normandy, stays on the Normandy," came another voice from the ship's intercom. It took Kaidan a moment to place it, but when he did, his eyes went wide. Pressly?

"Would it be a good time to tell you about this potential smuggling operation that one of my contacts-" Wrex began with renewed interest, before he was interrupted by Pressly's stern response.

"However, we are not going to engage in any risky illicit operations that are entirely unrelated to our current mission."

"Spoilsport."

Shepard couldn't keep from snickering under his breath until he caught the glare Wrex was giving him – he quickly covered the sound with a cough before changing the subject. "Well, now that that's settled…" he began, looking around the room at each person in turn. "I… I'm glad. For this crew. For everything you have done, and continue to do, for the sake of the mission, for me, for…" he caught himself looking at Kaidan a little longer than the others, "for us."

He looked away again, hoping he wasn't blushing again. "Thank you."

"Okay, maybe we should get out of here before this turns into some kind of group therapy hug," Garrus joked, mandibles flaring into a grin as he put a taloned hand on Wrex's shoulder and made to push him towards the door. "Come on big boy, let's give everyone else a chance to fawn over the lovebirds."

Wrex gave a loud, derisive snort, but didn't reply as he allowed the turian to usher him out of the med bay. He did, however, pause long enough at the door to give the both of them one final nod. "Shepard. Alenko."

Shepard couldn't keep from grinning, giving him a nod in return. "Wrex."

The door finally hissed shut behind them, and Shepard finally took that moment to flop backwards onto his pillows with a loud exhale. "Oh, thank God." He looked over towards the door after a moment, before realizing that the blinking red light on the camera was still on. "Joker," he said, tone stern. The light suddenly clicked off again.

"Sorry Commander," came the hurried response, before the comm link once again went silent.

"Well, that was interesting," Kaidan commented, lying back on his own bed and turning to face Shepard, propping himself up a little bit on his left elbow. "Besides Pressly, how many other people do you think were huddled in that cockpit?"

Shepard rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling. "To be honest, I really, really don't want to know."

"I get you," the LT replied with a small nod. "Still, this might make things easier…" he said, before he frowned a little bit. "…once I can manage to look half the crew in the eyes without turning bright red, I mean."

Shepard rubbed his hands over his face with another heavy sigh. "Yeah… me too."

They were spared an awkward silence by the soft sound of knuckles rapping on the door, before it slid open again for a familiar blue head to peek inside.

"Can we come in, or do you need a moment?" Liara asked, expression awkward until Shepard smiled at her and waved for her to come in.

"It's alright. Come on in."

She sighed in relief, before stepping aside to allow Tali to enter the med bay with her. They both settled into seats next to their cots, before Tali suddenly leaned forward with her hands clasped under the chin of her mask, glowing eyes narrowing ever so slightly behind the purple tinted glass. "So. When's the wedding?"