Parker's face. He hadn't consciously thought of her face for a long time. He tried to avoid thinking of her altogether if he could help it. He remembered how he dreamed of her face every night. He would dream of her eyes and her nose and her mouth. He would ache inside from wanting to touch her and knowing that he never would again. He would play old recordings of her voice and stare at her photo until he thought he was going to lose his mind but it wasn't the same as really hearing her or really seeing her- seeing the light bouncing off of her skin, feeling the warmth radiating from her as she sat next to him. It wasn't the same. It would never be the same again.
"Hastings Institute 0.3 miles," Lulu's GPS called his attention to the immense, white building ahead and to his right.
A holographic blue print of the building flickered into his visor.
"Close," he called again.
This was one building he knew by heart. He knew every turn, the location of every camera, every sensor, vent and tunnel. In the three years since he'd last been inside that place and left nearly a pint of his blood in its bowels, he learned all that he could about Hastings Institute and Holdings. He had learned that quite a bit more happening within its walls than Personnel training. Henry Hastings, the institute's founder and CEO had his hands in every form of illegal activity, and his reach was global. Alec also learned that Nate and the crew had been hired for a job that was actually an ambush. They were never meant to succeed, and they certainly weren't meant to make it out.
"Come on," Parker urged softly and tenderly, in a very un-Parker-like way.
She eased her arm around his waist and grabbed a hold of his belt to avoid his injured left side. She leaned away from him to lift some of his weight onto her back as she pulled him along the tight tunnel.
"Don't worry Park, I won't die on you if that's what you're worried about," he said and forced a smile with levity he didn't feel.
He wanted her to focus on getting out, with or without him and he knew she would never go if she thought he wouldn't be able to make it. Their relationship was strange but he knew her well enough to know that Parker was loyal to a fault. She would drag him if she had to. She would forget her survival instinct to travel fast and light and she would get caught. If the time came for them to part he hoped he'd be able to convince her, otherwise he would pull himself along by his fingernails before he let anything happen to her.
His blood-soaked pants felt as though they weighed a million pounds. He knew he couldn't remain standing much longer; his left leg was near dead as it was and Parker was all but carrying him.
Damn, she really was a strong little thing, wasn't she?
Even in his dazed state he could appreciate the woman beside him. His gaze caught the way her hair seemed to glow even in the near blackness of the tunnel. He knew that's why she always wore a black hat on jobs- with her near platinum hair she would stand out like a beacon. He looked at her profile and the way the tip of her nose curved up ever so slightly and the way her lips pursed even when she didn't know she was doing it. He loved her. He really loved her. He wondered why he'd never said it; why he hadn't told her. Then he reasoned that he always thought there would be time.
He wondered if he would die on that night, in that tunnel, never having told her how he felt.
No.
He stopped moving and realized he was still being dragged along the tunnel. Parker was dragging him as easy as a bag of laundry.
"Parker, wait." His own voice sounded strange to his ears. It was whisper soft and ragged against the dryness of his throat. He tried to swallow but his mouth felt heavy and alien, nothing was cooperating. And he was still moving.
"Parker!" he called harder this time, more urgent.
She stopped and turned to look at him, alarm widening her hazel eyes.
"What? Am I hurting you?" she responded and loosened her hold on him. The slight release was enough for his body to collapse under its own weight. Parker scrambled to lift him back up but he stopped her.
"What are you doing? We have to go," she reached for him again desperation and panic making her yell at him despite the fact that they were trying to be discreet. "Let me help you."
He could hear the frantic pitch of her voice.
"No," he said as he held her hands with the last bit of strength he felt he had. He held her firmly and forced her to look into his eyes. "No," he said again and she understood that he meant for her to leave him.
Parker swallowed hard as a rush of saliva filled her mouth and tears sprung loose immediately. She brushed them away impatiently, "Hardison get up, I'm not leaving you here."
"I've been shot Parker. I think I got hit at least two times."
She was crying in earnest then and shaking her head in defiance of the meaning of his words.
"Stuff's broken, and I've lost a lot of blood. You have to go on without me."
His own eyes filled with tears. She stooped at his side and lifted the shirt to touch the torn and tender skin beneath.
"No," she repeated. "I can't leave you. That's not what we do. We don't leave."
He reached up and touched her face. "I love you, Parker."
"No, don't you dare do that," she screamed, "don't you give me that goodbye confessional crap."
She pulled away from his touch and he could see the torment on her face. She looked like a child who just found out on Christmas morning that Santa Claus wasn't real. He loved that face. He loved everything about it.
"Please. You can still get out of here. I can't go any further and I'm slowing you down," he begged her and she threw her hands to her face.
"Hardison…I…can't," she managed to get out between deep sobs.
The fight had finally left her body. She lifted her face to look at him again. He was fading. His eyes were half closed and his breathing was shallow.
"Hardison?" she called him softly. Her chest seized with the thought that he had left her.
"I'm still here," he replied and she exhaled the breath she didn't realized she'd been holding.
She leaned close to him, "You told me you'd always have my back," her tears splashed to the top of his hand. His eyes opened fully but he struggled to focus.
"You can't leave me." Her voice was so small.
The last bit of life left in him wanted to grab her and make every bad thing that ever happened to her go away but there wouldn't be time. He felt himself slipping away and he knew it was only a matter of time before she would be trapped too.
"I would never leave you. I'll be the sexy ghost in the corner always making sure you're not getting into too much crazy. Cause you know how you do Parker."
She didn't smile, as he'd hoped. She just stared deeply into his eyes more intensely than she ever had before.
"I do…" she started before she stopped herself. He blinked and the act spurred her to finish, "I think I… no, I do."
He didn't understand, "You do?" he repeated, hoping she would explain.
"I have feelings…for you...Love type feelings."
Her words warmed him. He could see it in her eyes as she looked at him just then but to have to actually say the words spoke volumes.
"I love you too Parker."
He felt a surge of strength and he lifted his hand to once again touch her face. He stroked her tear-streaked cheek and ran his thumb along her lower lip.
"I'm really sorry it took me so long," she awkwardly apologized and he smiled in spite of it all.
That was a very Parker-like thing to say. He'd miss that. He eased his fingers into her hair and pulled her toward him as he leaned himself in to kiss her one last time. Their lips touched and he tasted the salty sweet of her tears. He realized with a bitter hitch, that although they'd kissed each other countless times for con jobs that was actually their first real kiss. And it would be their last.
He broke the kiss and leaned back against the wall of the tunnel, the very last of his energy totally exhausted.
"No," she half cried, half pleaded. Then she bargained, "No… I'm going to go but I'm not leaving you. I'm going to get Lucille and I'm going to get you out of here. We don't leave each other."
Alec shook his head weakly, to tell her no, but it was too late. She ran away from him and his gaze followed her until the blackness swallowed the silver glow of her hair.