Hello All!
Apologies about the delay in updating, but thanks to all who have reviewed so far. I hope you haven't all lost interest – it's been a busy few months, but I'm back to slag off our favourite boys and girls in blue. Well, as a few people have asked, this is the moment that the torture lands on none other than...
Die, Hunter, DIE!
It stands to reason really. Uniform had their own male slapper in Sergeant Dale Smith, so I guess CID had to have theirs in that arrogant, annoying DS that was Phil Hunter – as I've already said – the male officer with the intelligence of a goldfish and the charm of a slug!
Why on earth did girls (in Sun Hill and those watching) fawn so much over him? He's not THAT good looking! He's a slimy bastard who slept his way not only around the police station but the whole of Sun Hill as well! And as for his skills as a police officer? HA! What skills? He only joined the police to avoid going to jail. I wish he had gone to jail. Then I would have gone to torture him and whip him with chains, laughing as I did it! Or, even better stick him into that Hostel from the so named film, Hostel. There was the right amount of torture for him to go through in there to keep me entertained for a lifetime!
He wasn't only that great a copper; he only managed to make the odd result because it takes one to know one. He used to fancy himself as an entrepreneur with a Midas touch, but quickly realized he hadn't the flair to go the distance. I don't think he even has the brains! What on earth made him think he had the brains to become a copper, let alone a Detective Sergeant? My guess is that he shagged his way to the top with those 'oh-so-hot-looks' of his. Cough, cough. Why couldn't he have just taken the crook's life, been thrown in jail and spare us looking at his stupid, smug face for five years? Fuck you, Phil Hunter...
No pun intended.
But speaking of which...
Honestly, what the hell was the whole Huxon deal with him and Sam? It's the most ridiculous relationship imagined, and I'm comparing that to the relationship that whatever genius came up with JAM! They are about the most incompatible couple there; Gina and Smithy would have been better and she's old enough and close enough to him to be his mother! At least they had good chemistry! Sam and Phil had NONE! NADAH! ZILCH! ZERO!
He didn't stay with his wife, who he'd been married to for thirteen years, so what on earth made people think that he'd fall in love with Sam and stay faithful to her? She was an uptight cow, with only a career as DI on her mind, and he was an immature bastard who let his dick do the thinking for him! Chasing women was his favourite sport, it was staying faithful that was the difficult part for him – he didn't wear his wedding ring ever, so exactly what does that say about his so called commitment? That went about as far as trying for a baby but Phil was mortified when they discovered he was firing blanks (which was spread around the station by his brother, Steve! Tee hee hee! Thanks for the laugh, Steve!) Hunter conveniently forgot to tell his wife, though, that he already had a four year-old daughter, Madison, the product of an affair with the Christine Weaver, the wife of that so scary (cough, cough) 'gangster' Dennis Weaver. This blew apart his marriage coincided with the maturing (really?) of Phil who realised that he had responsibilities as a parent. I must have missed that then. I didn't notice any more maturity from Phil. Still motivated by his greed (dick, more like) loved women to be as fast as his cars (just as a shag for fun then) and got his kicks from dangerous living. In his eyes, having the reputation for putting it about is nearly as good as the real thing but without the danger – and that's what you call maturity? Really? Like the one time, he got out of his depth and sold his own wife. And nearly killing her in a car accident. Nice man.
See girls? Why on earth would you want to have him?
So after shooting and killing Dennis Weaver (why oh why couldn't it have been the other way around?) he goes back around his normal life at Sun Hill, completely unpunished for nearly selling out Nick Klein to save his own skin! Why couldn't Nick have come back to give him a piece of his mind? I laughed my way through the episode when Nick turned both Cindy and Christine against Phil Hunter. If you think you can juggle two women at once, Hunter, than you should be prepared to face the consequences! Though I think my favourite moment was when he was forced to go back on the beat in uniform. Oh, how the mighty fell!
Ha ha ha!
I bet that made you feel small – a small dose of the patronizing talk that YOU dished out to uniform for years! We all hoped for a bit of redemption after that, but no. You went straight back to your nasty, slimy self, leaving a slug trail wherever you went.
Someone pass me the salt!
I did a little dance all around my house when I found out that you were FINALLY buggering off and leaving us and Sun Hill in peace. I haven't missed you at all – the champagne was popped on that last episode! Bye bye Little Hunter! May you never darken the door of Sun Hill again!
Oh wait...
There isn't one to go back to.
Ha ha ha ha on your part.
Boo hoo on ours.