Hello and greetings. I apologise most profusely for the lack of updates for the past few...months, but on account of university... I hope you forgive me and haven't lost interest. Here, I'm going to unleash my wrath on DI Neil Manson and by god how good it felt slagging him off here.

DI Ferret Face

I think I hated him before I started watching The Bill, just by mere description of him.

Married DI...having an affair with a probationer, who happens to be a undercover journalist, no less...the description just became more and more unflattering.

Then I began to watch the show and I hated him from the moment he stepped out of that big, posh fucking car!

GAH! I don't think there's ever been a character I wanted to slap more and when you read about how much I absolutely hate Phil Hunter, that's really saying something! I don't think I have ever, ever seen a character who is chauvinistic beyond belief!

My God, I think I could quite possibly go on for hours!

And Sam – sorry love, I know you might be desperate, but who on earth could possibly be desperate enough to find this sexist pig remotely attractive? Really? I mean, really? And Andrea! Wait until I get writing a chapter about you! What on earth were you thinking? Manson? Really? I think I'd rather date Phil Hunter! Yeah I actually do hate him that much!

So I'll calm down and start at the beginning – described as Po-faced by Jo Masters (hehehe nice one Jo!) you showed little regard or sensitivity for victims of crime. I remember the episode when you were insensitive to the point of being downright cold towards a domestic abuse victim. Sure she was planning to murder the man – who'd had her lover killed – but surely it's your duty to help people out? It seems like someone needs to go back to Hendon! This is what happens when someone is fast-tracked to the top because they have influential figures – namely the DAC – as their father-in-law! You don't spend as long in the lower ranks as you should and think you're untouchable! He certainly did.

And then there's how he treated CID, particularly the women. He certainly did make himself unpopular, especially with Eva Sharpe and Sam Nixon and most especially Jack Meadows. Maybe that isn't really a surprise, seeing as you, Ferret Fact, made it clear you were after his job. What, did you think Daddy-in-Law would wade in and throw him off, giving you the top job? How old are you, twelve? You want something, you work hard to get it, not use Daddy to bully your way around Sun Hill and get promotions.

Then again, you didn't seem very willing to accept his help when you found out that he used underage rent boys, did you? Oh no, that certainly took you down a peg or two and about time as well, and you were even more infuriated when you found out that your barrister wife knew all about it. Certainly made you more wary about whom you could trust, even if they were people in positions of power.

You're not much of a saint yourself though, are you? 'To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.' Do they mean anything to you at all, Ferret Face? Well they didn't seem very important to you when you jumped into bed with Andrea Dunbar, though I must admit that it was out of character for an uptight, arrogant, sexist pig like you. It makes me wonder what she ever saw in you; I wanted to give her a slap after she took you back so easily when you dumped her after Kerry found out about your affair. She should have taken that romance with Smithy further at Christmas; at least he had more to offer than sneaking around in the station and car-park dates.

Though you did seem to think she was worth more after all when you finally decided to leave your wife for her after month and months of an affair. That is, until you found out that she was an undercover journalist. Though I'll give you that anyone would be gutted to find out that their partner has betrayed them, but you left your decision to choose her after Adam Okaro's ultimatum a little too late. By the time you decided it was her you wanted and not your job, she had already been killed in a fire. Though I cried my way through that episode myself, it was probably the only time I even felt a tiny bit of sympathy for you.

That certainly made you mellow a bit and you took a few months leave only to be set up for murder. How I hoped you'd actually been convicted. I hated it even more so when you became – urgh do I really have to actually say it – nice! Arrrgh it hurt to even say it! It was nice to see some actual sensitivity for a chance, particularly in the Amy Tennant case. You had a taste of your own medicine when your son Jake went missing; he was found, but the other blow came when he moved to Spain with his mother. Well, at least that case made you more sympathetic to victim's feelings.

As mellow as you might have become, Ferret Face, my first impressions of you stick and your bullying of CID, Uniform and not to mention your petty rivalry with Jack Meadows really made me hate you and while there were certain times I felt sorry for you, most of the time I just wanted to give you a slap!

As much as I really hated Debbie McAllister, I think she pretty much put it into perspective with what she said about you; "You're like some angry, little gerbil nipping at a bulldog."

Even greater was the line; "Jack's twice the man you are, four times the copper. Think about that, while you're counting your paperclips."

Ha ha ha ha!