Mitchie was startled by the body next to her providing warmth she was unaware of. She could feel the heat of the sunrays waving into the room and falling on her through the large french style windows. The body next to her shuffled and she brought her head up from her knees, her eyes red and swollen and cheeks damp and flustered.

She nearly cringed when Shane reached his hand out to place it on her knee and she stumbled a little backwards in her sitting position, scooting away from his hand. He had listened to her and changed into more suitable clothing, Mitchie noted. The look of hurt in Shanes eyes as she moved away from him was evident and she opened her mouth to say something, but Shane beat her to it "I know, I know." He said, his eyes cautiously glued to her face. Just the look on her face made him want to cry.

"I wish I had got the chance to meet him, you know?" She whimpered. Shane nodded, surprised she was speaking on the subject.

"We all wish we had, Mitch." Mitchie looked up at him, eyes meeting at the nickname he rarely used.

"And I killed him." She sobbed, digging her face into her hands. "I killed him, Shane. I hate myself." Her muffled voice broke his heart and he sighed, almost frustratedly. They had gone over this so many times before.

She couldnt breathe, Mitchie felt suffocated as she lay there in the hospital bed, clinging to Shanes shirt. They both cried together, holding each other as if the other would dissapear if they lost touch. Shane tried holding it together, he had decided in his mind that he wouldnt cry, he had to be stong, but he couldnt stop the tears from streaming out of his eyes, specially when they wouldnt stop from Mitchies.

It was past midnight and into the early hours of the morning when Shane heard words escape Mitchies mouth other than the sobs he had been hearing for hours. "Why did this - why did this happpen to-to us?" She sobbed. "What are we go-going to do? This is is m-my fault."

"Mitchie.." Shane whispered, tightening his grip on her, as he slid a little down the bed so that he was in eye contact with her.

"This is my fault Shane." She stated, her eyes red and cheeks damp. "I killed him, I killed Christopher."

"Mitchie listen to me." Shane said sternly. "You can't just keep doing this to yourself. You need to stop blaming yourself for something you didn't do." She whimpered and shook her head as Shanes fingertips lightly touched her hair, moving away from his touch again.

"I didn't want him at first." Her voice choked out and Shane nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I thought it would ruin my life having a baby. How could I take care of a baby at eighteen? But then, but then you told me it would be okay and I believed you." She breathed out harshly, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the wall behind her. She sat with her legs flat on the ground, trying to calm her shaking body, and even with those closed eyes, tears continued flooding down her cheek as she found herself unable to say anything more.

"Mitchie.." Shane whispered, leaning forward, not sure if she had heard him. "Honey, I'm going to hold you now okay?" He asked. He took Mitchies silence as her answer and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest. The moment she collided with him, a howl errupted from her and she clung onto his chest and cried like she had never cried before. He held her tight and close to him, adjusting her so she sat inbetween his legs and he gently moved away the strands of hair that clung to her damp face, careful not to move too much in the fear of Mitchie moving away.

Mitchie struggled to catch her breath and dugg her face into the nook of Shanes neck, breathing in the scent of his skin. "Shh" He cooed into her ear. "Here baby, I got you." He assured, bringing his hands down to her thighs, and putting her legs on either side of his so she was straddling him. He wrapped himself around her again and rocked their bodies softly. "Mitch, I got you." He placed a kiss on her forehead and rested his chin on the top of her head. He kissed her face, her eyes, her lips as she held him tightly against her body. It was quiet after a while and Shane could feel Mitchie's steady breathing falling on his neck, letting him know she had fallen asleep.

His eyes filled with tears of concern and worry and he found themselves drying as soon as they were wet. Soon the room fell into a silence that was only broken by the sound of their heartbeats. Shane stopped rocking their bodies and looked down at Mitchie. She clung to him as if she was fearing for her life. He was afraid he didnt know how to calm her, she wouldnt believe if he told her it would all be okay. He didnt know what to do with her. He carefully picked her up and carried her back out of the room and into their bedroom, placing her gently on the soft bed. She gasphed lightly at the loss of contact she had with Shanes body but fell back asleep within a matter of seconds. She looked exhausted, mentally and physically and he shook his head at her in sadness as he slowly tucked her in.

-X-

"Caitlyn? Oh my god, Caitlyn!" Mitchie practically yelled over the 'small group of close friends' her mother had invited on the occasion of Mitchies arrival back from tour that evening. The small group ended up consisting of people she hadnt met or seen in over a year and after greeting each guest she found herself standing by the large glass door that connected the swimming pool to the rest of the house, all alone sipping at her wine. Although she wasn't too fond of having a lot of people around her, she felt rather happy in that atmosphere. Maybe it was because crying made her feel better, maybe that was what was holding her back. "Caity!" Mitche waved furiously, grabbing the brunettes attention.

"Mitchie!" Caitlyn fell against her in a large thump, causing Mitchie to stumble backwards against the opened glass door, regaining her posture in seconds and throwing her arms around her friend the second she could. "I havent seen you in like a year!" Caitlyn exclaimed, holding Mitchie by her shoulders, examining her and then hugging her again. "This is Jeff." She pointed to the tall guy who Mitchie had yet to notice standing next to her. "My boyfriend."

"Hi." She nodded lightly, shaking the hand he held out with a smile. "Mitchie." Firm grip. She looked over at Caitlyn, nodding as if in approval. She loved Nate, she really did, but if Caitlyn was happy with who she was with then Mitchie had no right to interfere and mess with her life. The first thing that Mitchie noticed about Jeff was his height. He seemed almost too tall at six foot and four inches and was perfectly built. He was was a Petrochemical engineer, working at a well established firm. His hazel eyes sparkled with sincierity everytime he spoke, and he was intelligent enough to match Caitlyns humour.

Mitchie needed Caitlyn in her life, she realized that only after spending only a couple of minutes with her again after so long. She felt happy and found herself in tears of happiness when Caitlyn would remember a specific encounter from their past and the two friends would burst out laughing like school girls. Jeff stood proudly next to Caitlyn the whole time, speaking occassionally otherwise just sitting back and watching the two friends interact after so long.

"Mitchie sweetie" Her mother called, gently placing her hand on her daughters arm. "Nate is outside, waiting for you." Mitchie looked back at Caitlyn who's attention was on the mother-daughter duo at the mention of her ex-boyfriends name. "Okay, mom." She nodded. "Excuse me for a moment Jeff, I'll be back in a second Caity." She said offering a smile to her friend who nodded in understanding before watching Mitchie walk out the front door.

"Hey!" Mitchie exclaimed, a jump in her step as she found Nate awkwardly pacing back and forth in the front of her house. "Nate" She smiled, putting her hands on his shoulders as she faced him. "Why are you standing here, you should come in, Kid." She held his arm, bringing him halfway up the stairs.

"No." He objected, stopping her. "I already went in actually." He looked down at his hands. "Caitlyn is there with I'm assuming her boyfriend? I just wanna avoid any awkwardness you know?"

"Oh.." Mitchie half nodded in understanding, not really knowing what to say.

"And anyway, I just came to give you this back." He handed Mitchie her handbag which she had long forgotten back at her house in the morning. "You left it at your old place so uh, Shane told me to give it to you since you wouldnt be too uh thrilled to see him."

"Thanks." She said warily looking at him. "So you actually went in and saw them and came out, huh?"

"Do I have a chance?"

The look of hopefulness in his eyes was almost saddening. "Honestly Nate, he is...he seems perfect for her." Nate nodded. "She seems happy."

"I just want her happy."

"But having said that.." She smiled. "You're Nate Gray dude, you always have a chance. You should come in. I know you're dying to meet her and it's not like you're enemies or something, you guys still talk sometimes...she'll be..she'll be happy to see you."

"I have to go back, Mitch. Shane is still unloading his stuff and I told him I'd help."

Mitchie rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Nate. Just come in for a while okay?" She insisted. "You'll like it. And I'm sure your brother is capable enough to unpack his things." She dragged him with her to the steps leading to the slightly ajar front door and turned back to face him before going in. "I love you Nate." She pulled her arm around his shoulders and gave him a teeth showing, sinciere smile. "I love you too, Mitchie." He admitted, smiling goofily as he pulled his arms around her shoulder too.

"And.." She added. "If they are all lovey dovey which I don't really think they are in public, at least we have each others broken hearts to make fun of and laugh at each other."

"Eventhough that wasn't funny, I'm gonna pretend it was and laugh." He said awkwardly, chuckling as they entered back into the party.

There was no denying that Nate was happy to see Caitlyn eventhough he seemed a little reserved in the presence of Jeff. They were soon laughing like the old times and soon Jeff joined in as if he was always a part of the group. Neither Nate nor Mitchie knew if Jeff was aware of Caitlyn's previous relationship with Nate and they tried avoiding any conversation related to that phase of their lives to avoid anything awkward happening, but that was hard to do because the only reason Caitlyn was ever a part of their lives was because of Nate.

"We're going to so many new cities this tour. We're performing for the first time in half the places we're going to in the South American leg. I just can't wait." Nate gushed proudly, a shine in his eyes at the though of performing for the first time in a new place.

Mitchie found herself almost frowning at the mention of the tour that she had just got a break from less than 24 hours ago and made herself smile forcibly when she caught Caitlyn looking at her almost sympathetically.

Everyone looked at Nate when the sudden noise of his phone ringing caught the groups attention. "Dani...yeah I'm still here, no...what? shit, I'm coming." He spoke urgently into the phone, shoving it back into his pocket. "I have to go, sorry guys. It was nice meeting you, man." He shook Jeffs hand moving onto Caitlyn. "I'm glad I got to see you after all these months, Caity." He said truthfully. Mitchie felt sad at he distance in his tone as he spoke to his once lover. He knew that she was no longer his to claim, but the sound of him giving up was what saddened Mitchie. Nate Gray does not give up. "Sorry I have to leave so soon." He told Caitlyn moving his body awkwardly, not sure if he should give a goodbye hug or just a nod. He did the latter.

"Nate, you just got here like half an hour ago." Mitchie complained.

"Yeah, I know." He said, again in a rush. "Shane lost the apartmant keys and he's waiting outside." He hugged Mitchie, kissing her temple. "I'll call you. Bye!"

Mitchie hadnt realized how exhausted she was until she found herself in the confines of her room again. She had bearly rested the past weeks she was on tour and now that she had the opportunity, she wasnt. The four walls felt like a prison suddenly, but she was too tired to realize. The suitcase she brought in that morning stood there in the corner of her room, waiting to be opened as she plomped herself on her bed. She felt like her head was spinning and as soon as Caitlyn was gone the feeling of extreme depression hit her again. She didnt know what to do, she didnt know why. She just felt like she was someone living a lifeless life. Even after accomplishing everything anyone could dream of at such a young age, she still didnt know what her aim in life was. What was she brought into the world for? She had no clue, she felt like she was wandering around, lost. Her life felt like it was on a standstill, she felt like she couldnt progress to anything else. She felt like she would never be able to get out of the shell she had surrounding her after all the happiness left her life. And the most depressing part was that she feared she'd be like that for as long as she lived.

Shane kissed her furiously. His lips met hers in desperation, the tase of salt from the tears steaming down their eyes only making both of them hold onto the other in urgency. Teeth clattered against each other as Shane's tounge entered Mitchies mouth. The kiss was sloppy, but full of passion. Mitchie ran her fingers down Shanes curls, grabbing onto them agonizingly hard and returning the kiss with just the same amount of passion and hurt. Shanes lips seemed to meet her chin, tounge, lips and neck all at the same time. The white hospital bed squeeked when Shane moved his weight, hovering over Mitchie as she tugged onto him in need, kissing any part of him she could reach. Her eyes were closed, pretending that if she couldnt see the truth, it wasnt real. She didnt want to believe any part of it. It was moments later when clothes were shed, skin against skin. Mitchie was still confused and breathless, but that didnt stop her from needing Shane. They both needed each other so desperately. How could this have happened to them?

Mitchie stared up at the ceiling. She had been doing this since she had fell exhausted on her bed, but hadnt noticed the darkness her room held until she saw the shadow of her curtains against the moonlight, making patterns on her walls. She got up, suddenly feeling dizzy and held onto the side of her bedside drawer to hold herself up. She stumbled towards her bathroom in the darkness, turning on the bathroom light and letting it illuminate her room.

Mitchie didnt know who she was looking back at. The girl in the mirror's eyes looked back at her challnegingly as if asking who are you? How did you get like this? She asked herself those questions as her eyes searched her face in pity. She touched the dark circles under her eyes carefully, why hadnt she noticed them before? And even if she did, why didnt she care? She touched her face, watching the mirror carefully as if to see if the lifeless creature really was her.

She slept for a couple of hours that night. After her third cigerette, when the coughing suddenly started she decided it was enough for now. It was still dark when she woke up. She stared at her phone for a while, she wanted to call Nate. She knew Nate would make her feel better and when she did, she was surprised to find him awake at 3 am. He was too busy to talk and Mitchie wondered why. So much for always being there for each other.

When she put the phone down, she got that feeling again. The feeling of failure, the feeling of heart break. She didnt know what the failure was for, her last album had done unbelivealbly well, she was touring the world, she had everything, but she still had nothing.

She had hated being on tour, but at that moment missed it more than anything. Tour was the thing that had kept her busy, she had something to do, it kept her distracted from life. And now she was lost again. She wanted to run, run to Shane. She wanted to hug him and hide in his chest. But after her crying session less than 24 hours ago, she wasnt ready to show him her tears again.

She was all alone.

The roads were free like she was expecting them to be as she drove recklessly, lucky that Los Angeles seemed to be asleep, or maybe the part of the city where she was driving to was. She was surprised she remembered exactly where the cemetry was, and she found herself running. She ran and ran. She ran until her legs were tired and she was breathless. She panted harshly and started coughing until she fell on the soft grass near the concrete. She knew where she was. Exactly a year ago she had been there. One year. Had It really been that long?

Christopher Shane Gray

June 15th 2009

Her fingers gently touched over the name in the darkness, looking at it as if it were made of gold. She didnt cry, but she felt numb. Exacly how she felt at the funeral a year ago. Mitchie took out the flower from her back pocket and carefully placed it on the gravestone.

"Hey." She whispered shakily. "Hey honey. Christopher." She was silent for a couple of seconds as her fingers ran over the name over and over again. "I miss you." She said almost inaudibly, suddenly tears threatening to sill again. But she stopped them. "I'm sorry Momma hasn't come to visit you. I'm sorry. It's not that momma's busy, I would have never been too busy for you, honey. It's just...I didn't know what to do. I didnt know what to do when I lost you, I was so lost. I'm still lost. I didn't want to believe you were gone, I still cannot believe it. I love you so much, Christopher." She admitted calmly. "I loved you before I knew who you were. I loved you before I met you, before you were in my life. I loved you when I was scared of having you and I still love you now that you're gone." There was an odd sense of relief as she spoke, saying things she could not say to anyone else. Not even to Shane. She had never been one to tell the other of her feelings. She couldnt let them out because they were so hard to say. The simplest things became the most difficult words to let out of her mouth, her only expressable way being through her songs.

"How long has she been here?" A voice asked.

"I'm not sure."

Mitchie squeezed her eyes, cursing at the harsh sunlight. Her eyes narrowed into thin slits at they opened and she brushed the dirt off of her hands as two men looked down at her.

"Are you alright, Miss?" The young man clad in a sophisticated black suit and red tie asked as the other who she assumed to be the caretaker of the cemetry looked down at her irratatibly.

"Did you spend the whole night here?" The caretaker asked.

"No um...I just, I uh...yes." Mitchie spoke, still a little dazed as she looked back at the gravestone she had fallen asleep near.

"That's against the cemetry rules." He stated. "Please make sure this does not happen again. Visiting time closes after 8pm and no one is permitted to enter the cemetry after that. If this happens again, I'm sorry, but I'll have to report you, Miss."

She stood up, her head spinning and not paying any attention as the caretaker continued blabbering on about rules and guidelines until he left soon after while the other man stayed, watching her cautiously.

"I was visiting my mothers grave and I saw you laying on the grass." He spoke. "Are you okay..."

"Mitchie."

"Mitchie." He nodded, giving her a small crooked smile which Mitchie couldnt help but find too adorable for someone who had found her laying in the middle of a cemetry near a grave. "Do you need me to dive you home? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, I'm fine. I'm alright." She assured.

The man nodded. "My name's Dave by the way. When I saw you, I got kind of scared. I called the last number on your phone, Nate?" Mitchies eyes widened. Why would he want to do that. "I'm sorry, if that was inappropritae, but I've been coming here for the past seven years and I've never seen anyone laying down like that. He said he was on his way, so if you want to wait for him or something..." Dave spoke awkwardly, realzing maybe he shouldnt have done that and as if on cue Mitchie saw a figure approaching her, only it wasnt Nate. It was Shane.

What do you think? This chapter was really hard for me to write because Mitchie is such a mess in this chapter, but something happened. Something that might make you guys like Shane a little more, lets see if you guys can catch onto it. And CAITLYN'S HEREEE! with her boyfriend though :( and Nate being his awkward self, but he was dying to go back home...I'm not sure if I'm gonna make Caitlyn permanent, but shes here for now and she'll be present in the flashbacks that I'll have in the future chapters. What do you guys think about Shane comforting Mitchie? TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME :D

And as you might have noticed. I have started replying to reviews from last chapter :)

Thank you guys so much for reviewing, they mean the world to me. And I wont be able to update soon. Sorry, I have exams coming up and they need to be my first priority at the moment. But I'll try writing when I have the chance :)

Please review and tell me what you think...AND I got to 100 reviews! Thank you guys so muchhhh!

Love you all...

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