Chapter 2: Looks like an angel and moves like a devil


"I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAAAD! I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAAAAAAAD! GOOD GIRLS GO BAAAAA-AAAA-AAAD..."

Tony's voice was resounding in all of the tower. It was not uncommon. In fact he was always singing in the shower. Every morning/noon. Very loud and not very pretty. But it made the whole team smile. It was like his choice of songs always told something about what was going on in his life, and the subject was often discussed at the morning table.
"So what is this one about?" Natasha asked while sipping her coal black coffee. Steve smiled a little. He knew a little too well what this one was about.

"Maybe he have finally made Pepper do that thing, you know?" Clint smirked while nudging the russian with his elbow.

"Shut up Clint. Pep and I have talked about that, and it is not gonna happen!"

The agents had returned later last night. They luckily hadn't noticed the thick smell of marijuana that was perfuming the living room and had went directly to their bedroom to engage in ungodly activities. Very loud. If Steve hadn't been so stoned he would probably have hid in his closet, covering his ears humming children songs, while rocking back and forth.

"Hey cap? Why are you smiling? You know what this song is about, don't you?" Natasha asked with a lifted eyebrow. Steve's smile widened.

"Not at all," he lied and took a bite of an red apple.

"And you are a terrible liar," Clint said slightly annoyed. Steve was about to defend himself as Bruce stomped out in the kitchen.

"Hey Bruce. When did you return home?"

"Okay who smoked my weed?" Steve lowered his head so no one would notice his pillarbox red facial color. Clint lifted his hands.

"We didn't! We have not been home all weekend!" Bruce growled.

"I knew it... It can only be Thor! All those hippie rallies are not good for him! Just wait to I get my hands on him. I will smash him with his own hammer!" He took a large calming breath and dropped down on the chair next to Clint and poured some coffee for himself.

"Hey cap? Why are you... so red?" Clint asked.

"Yeah and where are your 'marijuana makes you slow and I can't use slow soldiers'-speech?" Natasha added. Steve's face was on fire, and he wondered if this was how Red Skull must have felt.

"Steve?" Bruce asked softly.

"You haven't smoked my weed, right?" Steve's lip trembled.

"Okay! Yes! I did it!" He exclaimed while slamming his hands against the table.

"But I was really upset and then Tony said I needed a drink, but I can't get drunk and then he said I still could get high and then we smoked it all. Oh this is so embarrassing! You must think I am a terrible leader!" It was silent like a graveyard around the table for some time.

"So this is what the song is about?" Clint finally said.

"You are the good girl who was going bad?" Natasha giggled. And then all three of them broke down laughing. Tears was flowing out of Natasha's eyes, Clint was rolling around on the floor and Bruce was slamming his head against the table.

"S-so you don't hate me?" Steve asked with a small voice. Even louder laughter.

"Oh you little..." Bruce was sobbing without almost no voice.

"So what's going on?" Tony asked as he entered the room. Steve just looked helplessly at him.

"They found out," he almost whispered. Tony chuckled.

"You wouldn't do well under torture."

"Oh like you would?"

"I did." He ruffled Steve's hair as he walked by and sat down next to him.

"You better brace yourself. We have a long night in front of us," he whispered. He then slipped something into Steve's hand under the table.

"What is that?"

"It's a little something to slow down your metabolism."

"What?"

"So you can get drunk. You are not gonna fuck shit up sober you know."

"But Tony I..."

"Just take the pill sweet cheeks." Steve sighed. He put the pill in his mouth and washed it down with some coffee.

"Good boy. Now meet me in the garage at midnight. Don't let anyone see you."

Steve had almost forgot how it felt. The burning sensation in his throat. The fuzzy feeling in his head. The way the world was spinning around slightly.
"Tony... I-I think your pill is working," he muttered. Tony let out a short laugh.

"Well of course it does! I am not an ammatuer!" Steve giggled. He then covered his mouth with a terrified expression. Did he just giggle?

"That wasn't very manly," he muttered. He took one calming breath wavering his hand to shut up Tony's hysterical laughing.

"Shut up! I used to be a little guy, remember!"

"Sure thing. What I was going to say was that with that amount of booze you have been drinking I think you would have been wasted pill or not!"

They had arrived at a suspect club in the more industrial part of town. Steve had experienced a slight culture shock. The music was deafening, the lights was blinding and everyone was pretty far out on drugs. At first he had been tempted to run back home and hide behind his lovely, patriotic shield, but then a guy in a long, leather coat had walked by, and he once again was reminded just why he was there. And with sizzling anger burning under his skin he had drowned an almost ridiculous amount of alcohol with Tony.

Tony was at the moment frowning and stared rather intensely on his wrist.

"Tony?"

"Mmhh?"

"What's wrong?" Steve asked with a small voice. Tony shook his head and looked back at his face with an almost confused expression.

"Do you dance freedom boy?"

"No... no no! I never learned it!" Tony's face cracked into a devilish smirk. He grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the dancefloor.

"Tony! What are you doing!" Steve whined.

"It's about time you learned something new!" Tony grinned. He stopped and looked pending at him

"Dance!" he demanded.

"B-but... how?"

"It's easy nowadays! Just make slutty movements in the rhythm of the music!" Steve was glowing red. Tony sighed and started walking around him in a small circle.

"Tony... I can't." Tony sighed again and stopped right behind him. He leaned in and started whispering into his ear:
"If you do not dance you have no purpose. And we don't keep things here that have no purpose. You see, your fight for survival starts right now. You don't want to be judged? You won't be. You don't think you're strong enough? You are. You're afraid. Don't be. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight." Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then he let go.

"He looks like an angel and moves like a devil. Who is that?" Tony sipped his drink and snickered to the man who was standing beside him at the bar. Tony chuckled in his head. this place was so ridiculously suspect so why hadn't he predicted that they would meet him there?

"That...? That is Captain America. I thought you could recognize your own college, Logan?" The slightly hairy mutant growled at him.

"We are still not colleges, Stark. And what are he doing here? And why is he so wasted?" Tony shrugged.

"That is an excellent question Scratchy. I think it is because he simply have drunk too much!"

"You're a dick."

"Dick and proud."

Tony sighed. The Captain was indeed a hell of a dancer. It was weird. He was so big and then again he moved with such grace.
"I blame it on the serum," he muttered to himself. He frowned. Why was his hips so loose. It was not manly at all. And why was his ass better than any woman's he had seen tonight.

"Is it sparkling?" he whispered to himself. He was almost starting to feel bad about eye-raping the american saint, but then again, everybody in the club was probably doing the same. At the same time Steve suddenly face planted the ground and Tony took that as sign on that the 80000 tequila shots they had downed probably had caught up to him and it probably was way over the bedtime for small soldiers.

"Do you want me to hold your hair?"

"Tony... I feel like I am dying!" Steve once again buried his face in the toilet with a pained groan and emptied his stomach for the third time. Tony chuckled and rubbed his back soothingly.

"Don't worry big guy. You get used to the feeling! By the way you are an amazing dancer. I can't believe you have never done it before!" Steve lifted his face from the bowl and smiled weakly.

"So I was doing good?"

"Hell yeah! Even Wolverine noticed!" Steve laughed a bit but then he got sick again. He eventually passed out with his face in the bowl and Tony had to wake up Thor ( who luckily had returned same evening) to carry him back to bed. It had been a good night.