Mitchie searched for the food stall as soon as she stepped into the theatre, forgetting about the heaps of paparazzi she had surprised by her attendance to the premier. Her Louis Vuittons clanked against the tiled floors and her head stood strong on her shoulders, full of confidence she had found so easy to fake these days. She stuffed her mouth with a crab cake and quickly turned around when she saw a couple of meters away talking to someone she didnt recognise.
"Mitchie?"
She squeezed her eyes and cringed, placing a fake smile on her face as she turned around to face. "I was going inside...but I saw the food."
"You need to swallow that and make an apperance inside." ordered.
Mitchie nodded. "I'm going." She said like a little child being forced to do something she didnt want to. "I dont even wanna be here." She mumbled under her breath as she walked away.
She found her seat next to Danielle, Jason and Nate just a couple of seats away. Mitchie hadnt expected to enjoy the movie as much as she did and by the end of the movie when the lights were turned on again and the audience errupted into an applause, she found herself smiling proudly. She felt proud of Shane, a feeling that was so foreign to her. A feeling she hadnt felt in a long long time.
During their time together she had always encouraged him in his enthusiasm for acting and seeing him finally being rewarded for his hard work made her happy. He may not have had an Oscar winning performance but Mitchie had been with him during the days he used to stay up all night and perfect his lines and shoot all day just for his TV series and seeing how much he had improved made her embarrassingly teary eyed. This was the last thing she was supposed to be feeling.
She qucikly wiped the single tear at the side of her eye before anyone got the chance to notice and looked around the theatre, wondering what she was supposed to do, suddenly lost.
"Mitchie, do you wanna grab a bite? Jason and I are going to dinner." Danielle offered.
"Um.." She was surprised by the offer."I don't wanna intrude or anything."
"Dont be silly." The older girl laughed. "Nate is going with us too. We invited Shane, but I think he has to go to the after party or something. He has to stay back. I'm so proud of him."
Mitchie didnt know what to say about the last part. "I don't know about dinner. Maybe next time, I dont think Jason would like my presence there."
"It's just dinner." Danielle put her hand on Mitchies forearm. "We miss hanging out with you."
Mitchie agreed once she realized the sincierity in Danielles voice which caused to older girl to smile in response.
"I'll grab Jason, you grab Nate and meet us outside okay?" Danielle smiled warmly, almost motherlikely before she left.
Mitchie nodded even after Danielle had left, she was still in quite a daze and before she went on her hunt for Nate, she looked around trying to locate Shane. She couldnt find him. She didnt know where he was. The theatre was almost empty and when she stood back in the lobby, calling Nate to find out where he was, she spotted Shane. He mingling with some people, trying to socialize and get the word out about his passion for acting at what Mitchie realized was the after party being held just a couple of doors away from the theatre.
Even though she didnt notice, she was trying to memorize his laugh. She knew how it sounded, and knew how he looked like with a suhge smile on his face and she just stared, trying to figure out if it was the same laugh she had always know. She could hear it ringing in her mind from far where she stood. One of his hands was in his pocket while the other held a glass of champagne Mitchie knew he wouldnt be able to finish. The black suite he wore hugged his torso perfectly. She didnt like the new short hair he had been recently beeb spotted adorning. She loved his curls, the longer hair she could run her fingers through, the hair she could grab in a fist and earn a moan from him.
She was appauled with her thinking and when she came out of her daze, Shane was alone, no longer surrounded by a sea of people while the party behind him resumed. She didn't know how long he had been watching her and her cheeks heated up at the thought. Had she been staring back at him? Ofcourse she had been. She tried to not make her embarrassment seen obvious as she took a step towards him, but immidiately took two back when she saw Franchescas hands snaking up his waist and lips on his ear, whispering something. His eyes were still glued on Mitchie, but that did not stop the warm smile Franchesca earned from him. He rubbed the top of her hand lovingly before she pecked his cheek and dissapeared into the crowd again.
It hurt her. She didnt want it to hurt, but it did for a reason she would forever deny. She tried to ignore the surprise on his face as she walked upto him, but he beat her at her words before she could even open her mouth.
"Did you enjoy the movie?" He asked. His eyes were suddenly playful as if he were expecting sarcasm or a snide remark from her.
"I did." She confirmed, nodding her head slightly. "You did a good job, Shane. It was nice watching you on the big screen."
"Thanks?" He responded, obviously as confused as she was by her sudden change in demenor.
She nodded again, unsure of herself before silently turning and finding her way out.
"Don't go." Shane said slowly. He sat at the edge of their bed, his hands on his lap with a defeated look on his face.
Mitchie sighed. "You know that is not going to stop me." She looked at him, but he wouldnt even look her in the eye.
"I love you." He whispered defeatedly. "Doesnt that count for anything?"
"Don't do that." She warned. "Dont do that to me." She pulled her suitcase to the door. "You know I have to go."
"No you don't. You dont have to go."
"It's absolutely worthless talking to you. Why don't you try to understand?" She demanded, glancing at her watch to make sure she wouldnt be late for her flight.
"I've tried to understand enough, but I don't get this!" Shane stated frustratedly, throwing his hands up in the air. "Don't you love me anymore?"
She watched him for a moment as the sudden silence in the room begged her for an answer. She left without saying a single word, without giving him a second glance.
"So, have you packed yet for tomorrow?" Danielle inquired.
"I didnt really unpack after we got back, it's just really frustrating." Mitchie replied with a laugh. "I can't believe the week went by so fast and now South America for a month." She took a spoonful of her black forest cake and mint ice-cream while the others nodded around her.
"I heard you're gonna be shooting for a music video into the tour. What's it about?" Jason asked curiously.
"Its just for the next single from the album." Mitchie shrugged. "I havent really put much input into it. I trust their judgement. The only thing I did was pick out the male lead opposite me, that too with Dana and Caitlyns help."
"Ohh who did you guys choose?" Danielle chirped excitedly.
"Robert Freemont."
"He's hot." The older girl replied with no reservation and Mitchie nodded, laughing with a mouthful of ice-cream.
"What are you guys doing after tour?"
"We haven't really got anything planned yet." Nick shrugged. "I mean, we're probably just going to take a break for a while." He said, eyeing Jason.
Mitchie nodded, knowing what they were talking about. She knew the time was close, the time when they'd all want a break from everything. Shane had mentioned it a couple of times before when they were together, but she never really realized how soon everything was happening. They loved music, it was what they breathed for, but it was time to take a break. They wanted to find something else that they enjoyed, something other than music that could keep them occuipied, something that made them want to work even harder. It wasn't like they were leaving music, but with Jason married, he wanted to spend some actual time with his wife other than catching a flight every morning to a new city or spending the whole day away from her working. And now with Shane already processing a career in acting, everything was falling into place. Everyone knew it would be the hardest on Nate. He didnt know anything other than music, it's what he thrived for and the thought of replacing it with something else was impossible. It didnt mean he wasnt supportive of his brothers though, he was happy because it meant he'd be able to bring a differnt genre of music to his fans that they had yet to recieve from him.
Once dinner was over, Mitchie excused herself to the restroom. She combed her black hair with her fingers, straigtening the ones that fell to the front of her face out. She felt normal for a second, staring back at herself in the mirror. She felt like nothing had changed, as if she had been sitting there having a normal dinner with Shane's family, minus Shane. Like they were the same old people that she had grown up with and she was the same old Mitchie, but she wasnt. Maybe they were the same, maybe they hadnt changed, but Mitchie couldnt deny the fact that she had.
"You should never buy heels on sale even if they are Prada." Danielle came stumbling into the ladies room. Mitchie gigled at Danielle and moved to one side of the large mirror giving the older girl more space. "Did you have a good time tonight?" Danielle asked, reapplying her lipstick.
"I did. Thanks for inviting me, Dani." Mitchie nodded.
"It was actually Jasons idea." Danielle turned to face Mitchie. "I know that he didnt speak much tonight, but he still does have a special place for you in his heart. He just finds it hard to show. It's taking time, it's taking everyone time."
"You know, Danielle.." Mitchie said quietly. "I really am sorry if I hurt you. About you know...what happened."
Danielle pursed her lips together and stared at Mitchie for a second before shaking her head. "When you left Shane, I was really mad at you." She started and Mitchie watched, listening quietly. "I think I almost...I almost hated you. But there was a part of me, a really small part that understood why you left California, but I couldnt understand why you left him. He's my brother and I love him and anything that hurts him, hurts me and when you left, you left such a big hole in his heart that he still hasn't been able to fill. All of us have realized that everyday is going to be a new struggle for the the two of you, for our families and there will be no end to this struggle until the two of you sit down and talk and figure this out. Even after a year, although it seems like so much has changed, in reality very little has."
"Is he happy with Franchesca?" The words seemed to seep through Mitchie lips before she could even stop them, but no sign of surprise was seen in Danielles feature upon recieveing the question.
"I don't really know." She replied. "She's a nice girl and they've had their problems, but they're still together so that must count for something."
Mitchie nodded, swallowing as the words formed a bitter taste in her mouth. Her stomach dropped and a she was overcome with a feeling of dissapointment.
"But..." Danielle continued. "I know one thing that counts more than anything else. I know that Shane still loves you. He just...he can't show it to you because he's so scared you're going to break his heart again. He doesnt want to go through what he went through again because he wont be able to pick up the pieces and move on this time and he knows that the second time around things will never be the same."
"So..." Nate streteched the word as he kept his eyes strictly on the road that night driving Mitchie back home. "You met Caity again last night, huh?"
"She didnt really say anything about you." Mitchie replied before he could even ask the question. "You should talk to her, like alone or something. Call her and hang out as friends, maybe test the waters and see how she's feeling, but right now she seem pretty into this Jeff dude."
Nate nodded. "The other day, seeing her...it was like I was awestruck by her. She still makes me smile without doing anything. How is that possible?"
"Awh Nate." Micthie smiled, ruffling his hair as if he were a 5-year-old. "You're so cute, I think I'm in love with you." She giggled. "But really, after tour, you need to stop working Nate. This is your chance, take the break you deserve. Just stay away fromt he media for a while, maybe you might get a chance to have her back."
Nate nodded again. "Shane told me about yesterday." He said, this time turning to his left to see Mitchies face. "What were you thinking?"
"I don't know." Mitchie breathed out, running her fingers through her hair in thought. "I just...I've been thinking about it. I couldn't sleep last night, it's like all the voices were haunting me."
"What voices?"
"Everyones. Just everything that everyone has said. It's like it was echoing in my ears and I couldnt stop it. It's driving me crazy, Nate and I've decided...I've decided I'm going to get some help."
"Help?"
"I've decided that I'll go to that therapist everyone bugged me about. I don't want things to be like this forever. I don't want to be like this forever. I just need her number, Nate."
A small smile crept up the side of Nates face. "This will really help you Mitchie." He encouraged. "She's a great therapist. Shane's been doing really well with her. I'll get her number form him and I'll even go with you if you like."
"Shane's been going to the therapist?" Mitchie asked, surprised. She felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks, all the blood draining from her face. "He-he...why?"
"He also lost something you know." Nate said harshly. "He lost his son as well as his fiance running away to the other end of the world." Mitchie could tell Nate was in defense mode, his words set out to protect his brother. She felt as if all the anger Nate had towards her, all the frustration about the situation that he wasnt able to lash out on her was slowly coming out. "I'm sorry." He whispered softly a second later.
"I'm sorry." Mitchie repeated after him. "I shouldnt have said that. It's just...I dont know."
"After you left, all of us, Mom specially convinced Shane to see . When you had that breakdown in France and Shane had to fly all the way there to get you to actually open your hotel room, none of us wanted him to go. We were being selfish, but we didnt want him to go. He had just started therapy and was doing well. We didnt want him to see you and lose all of that again, but he went against our wish because he couldnt think about you and what was going on with you in Europe."
Mitchie thought she was doing well. It had been three days, three days till she left, three days into the promotional tour, three days and she fell apart. She had been back from an interview in a French radio station. She felt like she was drowning in the own air she breathed in, like life had become some sort of unbearable burden and she had no conrol over herself or things she was feeling. The next two days she stayed locked in her room, refusing to talk to or see anybody. Her interviews, performances and fan meetings had been cancelled. She wanted to hide in a tiny hole and never come out. If anyone from her team dared to open her room door with an exrtra key provided by the hotel, she would scream and throw things until they dissapeared back from where they came from.
"I don't want anyone here." Mitchies voice was raspy. She licked her dry lips, and she realized actually how thirsty she was. Her arms wrapped themselves around her knees and her eyes adjusted to the sudden light brought into the dark room by the opening and closing of the front door. Before her mind could make anything of the dark figure entering her room without her consent, the room went dark again and the door closed with a clicking sound of it being locked. "I said-"
"Mitchie."
Her head spinned in a million directions from the one word leaving Shanes mouth, her name. No, he couldnt be there, he couldnt, she shook her head. "Mitchie." He spoke again urgently, movng around the room trying to locate a light switch. "You said you could do this." His voice was monotone and Mitchie immidiately covered her eyes as he turned on the light and then turned it back a second later seeing her discomfort. "Mitchie.." Shane muttered softly kneeling down on the growned next to her. He did not touch her in fear of her reaction, but found relief when she made the first move and pulled herself to his chest. He wrapped his muscular arms around her and he dug his face into her dark greasy hair. It was obvious she hadnt eaten or showered in days, but he didn't mind the smell of her damp hair and instead he pulled her closer, stroking the dark strands to soothe her while she silently whimpered in his chest. "I'm here for you, baby. I love you. I'm here for you." He assured inot her ear.
Shane quietly moved away from her when a knock came at the door, but Mitchie grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "I told them to bring some food up." He explained. "I'll just get it and close the door straight away. You're hungry aren't you?" She removed her hand from his as the mention of food caused her stomach to rumble in hunger. He squeezed her knee before standing on his feet and getting the food from the staff member on the other side of the door. "Im going to turn the light on now, okay sweetheart?...Mitchie?" He pulled the trolly of food into the room. "Honey.."
"Okay." She whispered.
He turned on the bed side lamp next to Mitchies body, the room illuminating dimly. Shane held Mitchies hand firmly, bringing her to her feet and placing a firm kiss on her lips. His left hand held a side of her face, fingers tangling into her clampy hair while the other fell to her neck. "I love you, Mitchie." He whispered again. "I love you so, so much." Mitchie licked her lips and nodded. "I-I love you too Shane." He smiled kindly at at her and seated her on the large queen sized bed. She took the glass of water her handed her gratefully and gulped it all down in a go, followed by her food.
"You know you don't have to do this Mitch." Shane reminded her once he had showered her and made she had eaten all of the food he had ordered. "We can go home." He held her hand in hope of convincing her. "We don't have to be here," his fingertips grazed the top of her hand. "You're alone and miserable here, Mitch, look at yourself. We can go home, please.." he held her face in his hands, his brillant honey coloured eyes staring back at her. His strong arms held her close needing to feel her body next to him. He needed it to keep him sane, he needed her with him. "Please.."
Mitchie shook her head at herself and looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry I said all those things to you before I left. I'm sorry, I didnt mean it." She apologized.
"I know you didn't." He nodded, a tiny understanding smile on his lips. Shane's hot breath hit her face and the aftermath of the feeling set her skin on fire "I'm sorry," she gripped his red shirt, leaning closer to him "but I really need to kiss you." When their lips met, it was like a fire had been set ablaze. The holes in their heart could never be filled, but the kiss filled it a little. Mitchie's sudden body weight caused Shane to fall back onto the bed with the two of them. He gripped her hips, pulling her as close as humanly possible without breaking the kiss as their tounges, hot, danced around in each others mouth in the passion filled kiss. Mitchie placed her whole body weight on top of him, holding his face firmly
Their staggered breaths met together when their lips shortly parted in the need to air. Neither dared to increase the distance between them and they both watched each other intently, never losing eye contact. Shane placed a single kiss on her lips, his hands on her neck and waist as he switched positons so that he was hovering over her. Shane ran his nose over the soft skin of Mitchies neck before kissing right above her collar bone and sucking on the skin. Mitchie could not help the small moan that escaped her mouth and she ran her fingers through Shanes hair, pulling at the base of his neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he continued kissing her skin wherever he could gain access.
Each article of clothing that acted as a barrier between their bodies was soon discarded one by one. Shane kissed her jaw and moved the stray hair from her face, giving him better access to her eyes "I love you so so much Mitchie."
"I love you too." Mitchie whispered back.
"Ho-how's he doing now?" She didnt know why she'd asked. She didnt even know if she wanted to know and realized that she didnt when Nates face dropped slightly
.
"He's doing well. He goes to see once a month now or once every six weeks. But...last night, last night he cried for the first time since his treatment started."
"Oh," The single syllable left her mouth as she was in a loss of words.
"I hate seeing him like this." Nate frystratedly ran his hand through his perfect curls, breathing out. "I just, I hate seeing him cry. He's my brother."
"Was-was it because of me?" She finally gathered up the courage to ask.
"Yes."
Remember this story? I know I'm the worst updater EVER, sorry. And yes I did say I wouldnt be able to write because of my exams but these few days have been too much on me and I needed to get it all out, hence the production of this chapter.
So a major breakthrough in this chapter which just suddenly happened actually and I totally had not planned. Mitchie is actually being human and trying to make herself be nice to Shane. She was more concerned and more thoughtful of him in this chapter which is kind of new to her. What do you all have to say about the whole Danielle/Jason/ Nate thing? Does Shane really still love Mitchie? I don't know, you tell me.
I had wanted a whole lot more to happen in this chapter but it wasnt turning out how I wanted it so it will be in the next chapter, if you guys are still actually reading this :P I am really sorry for the wait and hope you guys enjoyed reading this.
Please tell me what you thought of it.
I love you guys, you are the best :D
And PLEASE REVIEW! :)