Chapter 3: Saved by the cockblock
"SHE'S A MANIAC MANIAC ON THE DANCEFLOOR AND SHE'S DANCING LIKE SHE NEVER DANCED BEFORE!"
Steve groaned face down the morning table. He was never going to drink again. And what was up with his hangover anyways? He was supposed to heal fast! That serum sucked! And why wasn't Tony dying too? He was apparently in a really good mood and sang extra loud that morning.
"So I assume you are the she again?" Nat asked while sipping her almost undrinkable, strong coffee.
"Yup. I think I might be a pretty decent dancer. Or so Tony says. But I can't really remember that much..."
"So what happened last night?" Steve was about to answer but flinched when he was cut off by Thors booming voice.
"I carried Rogers to bed like he was my bride in the early morning hours! He and the man of iron had been consuming beverage as it was the last day on earth!" Natasha and Clint snickered to each other.
"So like a bride, eh? I thought booze didn't work on you, Cap?" Clint giggled. Steve groaned again and rested his head on his hands.
"It doesn't! But then Tony drugged me with something, and then it worked pretty well!"
"I can't believe what's gotten into you lately!" Bruce laughed.
"First my weed and then clubbing? What's next, Blackjack and hookers? Where has the good ol' captain gone?" Steve smiled a weak smile.
"You know I am actually still mentally a 23 year old so it is to be expected of me. Isn't that what young people do in this age?" Bruce nodded and patted him on the back.
"You are right again. But what I don't understand is why so suddenly?" Steve sighed.
"Trust me... I have my reasons."
Steve was standing outside Tony's workshop, hesitant to knock on the door. He usually didn't go there unless he had a really good reason but right now he just felt like it. He took a deep breath and lifted his hand to knock at the door but it slipped open before he even managed to touch it.
Even though he had seen it a couple of times before he always dropped his jaw when the door opened and revealed the workshop. It was almost like a ghost world where things moved by them self, holographic blueprints was flowing in open air and Stark himself stood face buried in some kind of weird tech, covered in oil and with his hair standing out in every direction looking like a mad scientist.
"So are you just going to stand there all day?" Steve jumped a bit and hurried inside. Tony looked up from whatever he was doing with a pending expression. Steve was suddenly at a massive loss of words. The silence just got more and more uncomfortable. Steve started to fidget.
Tony hadn't expected to be bothered. Maybe by Bruce, but that guy was never really a bother. But as Steve walked into the workshop with eyes at the size of teacups he couldn't help but think that he actually didn't mind being disturbed. Not by Steve anyways. Steve was looking like he was feeling really awkward which he surprisingly enough found almost... cute? He couldn't help but chuckle.
"What do you want?" he asked with amusement in his voice.
"I don't know," Steve whispered.
"Just talk I guess?"
"I thought you did that with the other big, blonde guy?" Steve nodded. He was right. He was usually hanging out with Thor. They had a lot in common. He was from outer time and Thor from outer space. Almost the same thing.
"I can go if you..."
"No. Stay. Make yourself at home!" Tony cut in with a smile. And then he stayed.
He stayed for hours. Tony was first smugly showing off what he was making and Steve was mesmerized. And then they started talking about everything. At first it was the missions, then the team and then their lives.
"So how about the girls?" Tony finally asked. Steve shrugged.
"There was one. But she is really old now. I don't even know if she's alive anymore. But we didn't even make it on a date."
"So you guys never...?" Steve blushed and shook his head.
"Mother of...! So it is true?" Tony muttered. He was shitting bricks.
"I can't believe it! But then again you always act like you a virgin fucking Mary. But still... A handsome guy like you." Steve sighed.
"It's not like I never had the opportunity. It's just..."
"Sure thing. You are saving yourself for marriage or something. Jesus Cap!" Tony opened a small cabinet and took out a bottle of pills. He then walked over and pinched Steve's nose and shoved a pill down his throat when he gasped for air.
"What the hell, Tony?!"
"Did I tell you we were getting wasted tonight? And then I will hook you up with a bunch of hot babes!" Steve frowned.
"But Tonyyyyyyy..."
"Save it wonderboy! You are coming!"
Bruce frowned as he stared into the kitchen from the living room. Steve was dancing around humming loudly dressed in a frilly apron and making dinner for the team. The food part was not that uncommon. He had started doing it almost instantly after he had moved into the tower. He apparently had little housewife inside him which was fine because he actually was a great cook.
"Thor?"
"What is on your mind my friend?"
"Have you noticed anything weird with Steve?" The demigod leaned over to take a peek inside the kitchen.
"I believe I only have seen him dance with the punching bags at the gymnasium. Is it worrying you my dear friend?" Bruce frowned even harder.
"I don't know to be honest. But look at him for gods sake! Why is his hips so loose?"
"He is indeed moving them like a woman or Loki would."
"I can't stop staring at his ass..."
"Me neither. That backside is indeed a piece of art that would bring any woman to shame."
"As you can say it, Thor." Both men suddenly flinched. Steve had suddenly very violently started to stab an eggplant repeatedly like it was his archenemy.
"What the fuck, Steve? Have that eggplant insulted you or something?" Clint exclaimed as he walked by. His hair was a mess and it was obvious what him and Nat had been up to until now. Steve snapped out of his suspect eggplant-rage and looked up with a confused expression.
"I'm sorry," the big blonde answered softly.
"It just reminded me of someone." Bruce looked at Thor with big eyes.
"I swear something is wrong here!" he whispered loudly.
"And I will find out what it is! Are you in this with me?"
"Always my friend. Always."
"What even is this shit? Why is there no meat?" Tony whined pointing almost accusing at the unbearable healthy vegetable stew. Steve smiled brightly.
"You better eat it. It is really good for you with a lot of vitamins."
"You're not my mom!"
"No but I'm your Captain and thats even worse. Now eat up soldier or I'm gonna force it down your throat."
"Ohh... I love it when you get all dominant... It really turns me on."
"Tony. Just eat your food." Steve was blushing furiously.
"Sir yes sir!"
Steve dropped down on the chair beside Tony. Tony grinned at him.
"Midnight at the garage. If you're not there I will come get you." He whispered and added with a smirk:
"And wear something sexy..." Steve blushed a bit and scowled at Tony. Bruce lifted an eyebrow.
"What are you guys whispering about?" Steve blushed even more.
"Nothing!" he exclaimed. Tony laughed and patted Steve on the knee.
"I'm taking him out again tonight and I told him to wear something pretty. Tonight I will make him a man!" Steve now had a facial color that probably could light up a darkroom.
"Tonyyyy..." he croaked pathetically.
"Theres nothing to be ashamed of! I am the worlds greatest wingman!"
"But I don't even know if I..."
"Of course you will Capsicle!" Tony cut in. Bruce shot Thor a knowing look. Tony deffintly knew what was going on, and he was a part of it.
Steve ended up finding himself back at the suspect club. This time dressed in tight, black clothing which sadly made him look a bit like a streetwalker he thought. But Tony had convinced him that he looked smoking...
They had drank, fought and made their ancestors proud, as Thor would had expressed it and Steve was again completely wasted and rocking out on the dancefloor. Tony had joined him for once, but had then disappeared. But then Steve saw him waving at him at a table. He was sitting with three other busty dames. Steve sighed. He didn't really know why his virginity was so important for Tony. But then again there was so much about this new age that he didn't understand. Tony waved him impatient towards the bar and Steve just went along with it. - Everything to make Tony happy, - he thought to himself.
"Steeeeveee!" Tony sang.
"Meet Sara, Lara and Clara!" He pointed at the ladys. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
"Oh he's just adorable! I could just eat him!" the redhead smirked.
Tony left Steve with the girls under the excuse that he would get himself another drink. It had been difficult. His instinct had told him to run off with one or two of them himself. Man being in a relationship sucked sometimes! He reminded himself to make an appointment with Pepper soon. He really needed a fuck. Tony glared back at the girls. Something unexpected was stirring inside him. - They really look like they are going to eat him. Women can be terrifying. - he thought. Steve didn't really notice anything. He was smiling, and laughing, looking absolutely adorable as he tried to tell a story making big arm movements, which just made Tony more angry - he's worth ten of those bitches- he thought to himself. He slapped his own hand. Why was he thinking like that so suddenly? Tony found himself again staring mesmerized on Steve's wrists.
"Wow you are more green than the Hulk. Why are you so jealous?"
"Shut up Logan! I'm not jealous. It's me who have hooked him up with them." Wolverine smirked.
"Why would you do such a thing?"
"Idk. The kid needs some pussy." Logan broke down in hyperventilating laughter.
"Stark... Look at him! You don't need to be psychic to see that the kid is so gay that he probably fart rainbows!" Tony nearly choked on his scotch.
"Logan! Your a genius! That is what is wrong with his wrists! They are too loose!" Tony nearly yelled scaring a bartender or two.
"That is why his is so damn tuff with the shield," Logan added with a smug grin. Tony's eyes suddenly widened.
"What do I do? He probably doesn't even know what gay is. And those vixens are going to eat him alive! Oh god what have I done?" Logan laughed and patted him on the shoulder.
"Save him."
"You're right! I'm fucking Iron Man it's my freaking job!"
"Go get him tiger!"
"Right!... FUCK! HE'S GONE!"
Steve was sitting on a couch. The redheaded dame was awfully close. One fishnet dressed leg over his lab and a long nailed hand on his arm. He couldn't help but shudder. He didn't feel all that comfortable. He had to swallow down a little whimper (of terror) as she shifted and sat on his lap.
"Oh Captain. You are so hot!" she almost growled and leaned towards his face while hungrily licked her lips.
"Hey dude! What's up! Long time no see!" a familiar voice almost yelled. The redhead was swiped from his lap and Steve couldn't help but feel saved by the bell.
"So it's late and the coach is already turning back into a pumpkin! We have to go!" Tony panted as he grabbed Steve's hand and started dragging him out of the club.
"So it was nice meeting you, Clara. I call you!" Steve called back pathetically. He was only being polite. That was one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced.
"You're welcome!" Tony stated as they sat back in the car. Steve laughed.
"What was that? Hey dude, long time no see? We have been seeing each other all day?"
"You were cockblocked!" It came from the drivers seat.
"Shut up Happy!" Tony growled.
"I was saving him!" Steve sighed and shook his head.
"But Tony. It was you who introduced me to them?"
"Yeah then I realised something. And I changed my mind."
"B-but..."
"Give me your arm."
"Why?"
"Just do it." Steve sighed and offered Tony his arm. Tony took it and started shaking it.
"What are you...?"
"Look how loose your wrists are." Steve looked at him with worry in his eyes.
"Tony? You haven't eaten any of those funny pills that looks like candy, have you?"
"Just shut up. We talk about it when we are home."
Tony dragged Steve down on the couch the moment they entered the penthouse. He looked at Steve with giant eyes. Steve just answered his glance with the worried expression.
"Tony... I think you should go to b..."
"YOU'RE GAY!" Tone yelled out before he could stop himself. Steve looked like he had a bucket of ice water thrown at his face.
"No i'm not!" he answered looking terrified.
"That is not right! And what about Peggy and...!" He didn't finish his rant and ended up just uttering a whiny sound and running to his room. Tony sighed.
"That could have been done more graceful... Poor kid." He rose to his feet started walking to Steve's room.
He knocked gently at the door. No answer. He tried to open but the door was locked.
"JARVIS unlock!"
"Sir I don't think Captain Rogers wishes company at the moment."
"I don't care. He doesn't know what's good for him! Now open!"
"As you wish sir," the AI answered coldly and the door clicked open. Tony tiptoed inside.
Steve was laying on his bed face down the pillow. Off course he was gay. He had known that since his early teens but that didn't mean it was all right. He had seen men been beaten half to death for that back in the 40's. He was fine with it being a secret. How had Tony found out. Was he really that obvious? He groaned into the pillow. He felt the weight of someone sitting down on his bed. A hand rubbing him soothingly on the back.
"Go away Tony," he whined halfhearted.
"Steve... I think we need to talk. It really isn't that big of a deal in this time you know?"
"I'm still not gay... Oh who am I kidding? I am so gay..." A sob escaped down the pillow.
"And theres nothing wrong with that! Gays can even get married now!"
"But Tony. I am Captain America. I can't be. I have to get married to a busty blonde and have kids and a dog and all those things. This SUCKS!" Tony pattet his back.
"No. You would suck as straight! You are only that good with your shield because of your loose wrists. And by the way I thought we were ruining your image? This is great for that. Man... Fury will be pissed when he finds out... and those guys from the bible belt too. This is...fabulous!" Steve couldn't help but laugh at that. He actually felt a little better. Tony smiled.
"Come on champ. I'll make you a nice cup of herbal tea."
So thanks to all the people who have read the story and subscribed and reviewed and stuff!