Author's Note: Thanks to all my amazing readers who read every chapter I write (and many, many thanks to the ones who faithfully review every chapter and give me another reason to keep writing) and thanks to everyone who clicked onto any of the stories I have written. Writing these stories is a lot of work, yes, but it's readers like you that make it fun! Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 4

The cold air outside of the house swallowed up the noise of the door slamming shut. Will found that his ears were ringing. He looked back at the door, then put on his coat and walked down the front steps. Will kept walking, down the street and over to a set of stairs leading down to a dock. He walked down the steps, went to the end of the dock, and sat down.

Will had heard stories of the River Thames freezing solid, but it had never happened during any of the years Will had been living in London. Now the water flowed by swiftly, but with the appearance that it was thicker than usual. There was a cold breeze coming off the water that numbed the exposed bits of Will's skin. It was unpleasant, but it was nice to be able to feel something.

The last time Will had been in ice cold water, he had been at Shadowhunter Academy in Idris, and it had been January. They had been training (Will couldn't remember the exercise) and Will recalled that after five minutes in the water, he stopped shivering, and after fifteen minutes, he was slurring his words and Jem had to pull him out. If Will jumped into the Thames, right now, after about ten minutes he would be washed into the ocean and no one would ever have to worry about him, ever again.

"I'm sorry," A voice said. Will turned around to see Magnus standing behind him. He looked back at the water. "It's wrong for me to expect things from you, ever. But that doesn't mean I can't want things for us. It doesn't mean I can't want to make you happy and I can't want you to want to make me happy." Magnus walked over and sat down beside Will.

"You're worth the fight," Magnus said. "You and Jem had something amazing. He saw something in you, Will. Maybe you know what he saw and maybe you don't. The point is, you did all sorts of terrible things to people, and you didn't want to be loved and you refused to be loved, but Jem never gave up on you. He saw something in you that made him want to love you, and no matter what, he loved you until the very end."

Will's eyes filled with tears and he brushed them away.

"What's so wrong with me wanting to find the same thing?" Magnus asked. "Do you really want to go through your life with no one?"

After Magnus had caught Will and Jem together, Magnus had disappeared and Jem had walked away. Will had stood beneath the apple tree and realized that finally, everyone hated him. He had gone so far as to have Magnus and Jem turn their backs on him. Even though he eventually reconciled with Jem, and even though Magnus was beside him now, for several hours, Will had everyone so angry with him, they wouldn't have minded if he had walked away from the Institute and never came back. Will could recall six awful months in Wales, and how a simple, stupid mistake caused his parents to wish he had never existed. Suddenly, Will was twelve years old again, realizing that there was no one left to call his own.

"I hate that he died and I hate that you have to hurt because of it. You in pain is the worst thing I have ever laid eyes on," Magnus said. "I just want you to be happy but I can't make you happy when all you do is hurt me."

"I'm sorry I said you didn't have a soul," Will said. "Maybe you do. I just thought that…"

"It's not just what you say. It's what you do," Magnus said. "I show that I care for you and you pull away. You retreat inside of yourself and you're just… gone. I tell you I love you and you think up a hundred reasons why I shouldn't. I can't keep giving you things and get nothing in return."

"Then stop giving me things," Will said.

"I can't stop wanting to care for you. I love you, Will. I can't just change my mind about that. Believe me, I've already tried," Magnus said. "There are a thousand reasons why we shouldn't work but I've got a million more reasons for why I want to be with you. You and I were through, but then you showed up here, and you were crying, and your world was over, and I let you bring me back because even in my most heartbroken hour I still wanted to be with you. Now, I want to be the man you need me to be. I want to be what you need now, and maybe, ten years from now."

Magnus rested a hand on Will's upper back.

"Loving someone besides Jem scares the hell out of you. I understand. It's why you hurt me before, but I can't live through that again. I won't. You've hurt me for the last time. After this, there is no going back and fixing it," Magnus said. "I love you, Will. I don't know how I can stop loving you. I want to take you into my house and keep you there and I don't want anything to hurt you. Everything you ever loved, you lost. I just want to be the person you'll never have to lose. Will you please just let me?"

"I can try," Will said. He turned and saw that Magnus had tears in his eyes.

"Just try. That's all I ask," Magnus said. Will nodded and looked out over the water.

"I need you, Magnus," Will said. "There's no one else I can turn to but you." Will squeezed his eyes shut to keep his threatening tears at bay. "I just need you, Magnus." His voice cracked and he thought he might lose it for what had to be the third time today when he felt Magnus take his hand and hold it tightly.

"I'm right here," Magnus said.

They went inside soon after and Magnus prepared soup for lunch. Will stood beside the stove and watched as Magnus stirred the soup and added various spices.

"Can I have the pepper?" Magnus asked. Will turned around and regarded the cupboard, which was still organized from the last time he and Magnus had a fight. Will had lay on the kitchen table and watched as Magnus straightened and alphabetized every single bottle in his cupboards. Will had never felt as close to death as he had on that night. He had hurt Magnus in such a cruel and unexpected way. That night, Magnus could have just left Will to die on his front steps, but instead, he had pulled Will inside and had saved his life. Will had never realized just how often Magnus had been there, whenever Will needed him. "It's right here."

Magnus put a hand on Will's hip and reached over Will's shoulder to get a small bottle of pepper. When Magnus stepped away and returned to the soup, Will swore he still felt Magnus's touch. Will turned back around. Magnus shook the pepper into the pot and handed the pepper back to Will, who nearly dropped it as he and Magnus locked eyes. Will felt the bottle slip through his fingers, but Magnus snatched the jar out of the air and never broke eye contact.

It was unnerving to be looked at in that manner. It was like Magnus had seen Will at his most intimate and heartbreaking moments. He had, in fact, seen Will at the worst moments of his life. After everything Will had done, Magnus still wanted to stand beside him, and still wanted to love him. Will had spent a lifetime pushing people away to the point that they did what he wanted them to do. Magnus was different. Ever since that first night Will had come to him, he had never been able to get rid of Magnus Bane.

"You can put it back," Magnus said. He pressed the bottle of pepper into Will's hand. Will put the pepper away and leaned against the counter once more. Magnus stirred the soup and sniffed it, finally looking away. "How about the salt?" Will turned back to the cupboard and found the salt between the saffron and the tarragon. When he turned back around, he found Magnus's eyes back on him. Will handed the salt to Magnus and swallowed nervously. "Have you ever wanted to kiss someone so badly, it hurt?"

"I beg your pardon?" Will asked.

Magnus dropped the jar of salt onto the counter, causing some to spill out.

"Bad luck!" Will exclaimed. He reached with his right hand to toss some salt over his left shoulder, but Magnus grabbed him by the hips, pushed him against the counter, and kissed him on the lips.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said.

"Please don't be sorry," Will said, and Magnus kissed him again.

Will moaned and squeezed his eyes shut. His hands clenched into fists, then opened. He took Magnus by the waist and pulled their bodies tight together. Will parted his lips and felt Magnus gently offer his tongue. Will exhaled and returned the kiss harder and faster than Magnus had intended for it to be, but instead of pulling away, Magnus kept up with Will's frenzied pace. Will let himself feel nothing but Magnus's warm, sweet lips against his own. He felt himself become completely unhinged, if only for a second.

"I was with someone else!" Will said. "The meaningless maid, Magnus!"

"Am I meaningless?" Magnus asked.

Will searched Magnus's eyes for a clue to the answer he was supposed to give, but realized he already knew the answer. Magnus didn't need to say it.

"Not meaningless," Will gasped, "anything but meaningless." He reached down to pull Magnus's shirt free of its tucked in state.

Magnus shut off the burner beneath the soup and lifted his arms so Will could pull the shirt over his head. He wasn't wearing an undershirt, and his tan skin looked even darker in the dim light of the kitchen.

Magnus sunk his fingers into Will's hair as Will kissed and licked along the length of his collar bones. His other hand came up and he began to quickly unbutton Will's shirt. Magnus got it open, pulled the shirt off, and dropped it to the floor. He pulled Will's undershirt over his head, pressed his lips to the center of Will's chest, and ran his hands over Will's tight and newly acquired muscles. Magnus handled Will roughly, and grabbed bits of muscle and skin as they resumed kissing.

Will found that he didn't mind Magnus touching any part of his body, in any way. If anything, it was even more apparent that Will's body did things to Magnus that Magnus wasn't ready to admit to. The warlock's skin already felt fever hot and was making the soft moans in the back of his throat Will hadn't heard for at least six months. Magnus's hands roamed all over Will's body, and beneath Magnus's fingers, Will felt his body waking up and coming alive once again. When Magnus said that he wanted Will, he hadn't been lying.

Magnus placed a kiss at the top of Will's jaw line, beneath Will's ear. He teased his tongue and warm breath against that spot, and then kissed down Will's neck to his chest. He licked a long line down the center of Will's chest, and then nibbled at the skin over Will's hip bones.

Will leaned against the counter and ran a hand up Magnus's back. He licked his lips, reached down, unbuttoned Magnus's trousers, pushed them down to Magnus's thighs, and took Magnus's slowly emerging erection in his hand.

Will recalled last night, and how he just knew, despite the circumstances, that Magnus had been just as aroused as he was, but Will hadn't been able to even think about touching Magnus in this way. Now, Will found Magnus's erection to have hardened to a nearly solid mass and he had to wonder how long Magnus had neglected his own desires.

"Will," Magnus mumbled. He pushed Will's hands away from his painfully erect member, kissed him on the lips and unbuttoned his trousers as well. Magnus slipped a hand inside, and it took every bit of self control Will had to whisper,

"No."

"Why?" Magnus asked. "I forgive you for being with her. I just want you."

Will ran a hand down the side of Magnus's face and kissed him with his eyes closed. He didn't pull away when the kiss was done.

"Then I want to be clean for you," Will said. "The only thing I want you to smell and taste is me."

Magnus took Will's hand, pulled him out of the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the bathroom. He turned on a light with the snap of his fingers, snapped his fingers again at the bathtub, and hot water began to pour into the claw foot tub. Magnus grabbed two towels and tossed them onto the floor beside the tub, then wrapped his arms around Will's waist and pulled him back to him. Magnus's body slammed against the bathroom counter and grabbed Will by the backside, continuing to touch Will rough enough to ensure that Will felt each and every grab. Their lips settled into a perfect rhythm of give and take.

When the warlock's desire was painfully apparent to the both of them, Will pushed Magnus's pants down and knelt on the floor. With a trembling hand, Will ran his fingers down Magnus's waist to the base of his erection, took it in his palm, and pressed the head of it to his lips. Magnus moaned and closed his eyes, dropping one hand to Will's shoulder. Will looked up at Magnus, smiled, licked the head of Magnus's cock once, then twice, and then took the length of it into his mouth. Magnus protested but certainly didn't push Will away.

"Don't forget…" Magnus said. Will looked up at him, annoyed, and then released Magnus's cock from his mouth. "You can't swallow it."

"Give me fair warning then," Will said. "The last thing I want is demon pox from this." Magnus scowled and Will took his erection back into his mouth, nodding his head slowly up and down, forcing the look to quickly disappear from Magnus's face.

It didn't take Magnus very long at all. The bathtub filled with hot water, the air got hot and humid, and in less than two minutes, Magnus pushed Will away and came with a polite yet grateful moan. He pulled Will to his feet and undressed him the rest of the way. Magnus shut off the water and climbed into the bathtub, and Will sat in front of him.

Magnus picked up a bar of soap and ran it down Will's chest as Will lay back against him. They didn't speak; they didn't have to. He took his left hand and ran it down Will's chest, tracing the path the soap had taken, and nuzzled his lips against Will's neck. Magnus dipped the soap beneath the water and slipped it across Will's lower stomach, then reached down with his right hand and gripped Will's erection. Under the steaming hot water, Magnus began to stroke as he continued to tease his lips down Will's neck.

"No," Will mumbled. He turned around in the tub so that he was facing Magnus, recovered the soap, and began to wash the parts of his body Magnus had missed. Magnus kissed Will on the lips again. When Will was finished washing himself, he took the soap and began to rub it over Magnus's skin. The scent of roses came up between them as their lips met again, slower this time than before. When he was finished, Will dropped the soap into the water and put his arms around Magnus, pressing his lips to Magnus's, silently begging for more.

Magnus turned his back on Will and Will knelt behind him in the bathtub. He nibbled his way across Magnus's upper back, choosing to bite in various spots. Magnus's hair was damp, so Will moved it aside and kissed at the base of Magnus's hairline, causing the warlock to push back against him. Magnus moved his legs beneath him and knelt in front of Will. He rested his arms against the sides of the bathtub. Will leaned forward and kissed Magnus on the back, then reached down into the water and found Magnus once again hard.

"No," Will whispered. "Not this way. I want to be in your bed when… it happens."

Magnus didn't ask what was going to happen and Will wasn't ready to admit that he wanted to it happen. Magnus stood up in the bathtub, climbed out, wrapped a towel around his waist, and offered a hand to Will. Will climbed out, got a towel, and followed Magnus from the bathroom.

They slipped and slid down the hallway to the door of Magnus's room. Magnus tossed open the door and walked in, and Will followed. Magnus pushed the door closed and pressed Will against it. Only the soft cotton of their towels kept their still moist bodies separate. Will ran his hands down Magnus's arms, feeling hot skin and muscle beneath his hands. Magnus pressed his warm, smooth chest against Will's as they kissed and touched.

"Are you sure?" Magnus asked.

"You said I'll never have to lose you. You're the only thing I'm sure of," Will replied. He closed his eyes and kissed Magnus with everything in his body, giving so much to Magnus, he felt like he had never run out the door in the first place.

Author's Note: Now review. Please? Offer me some thoughts? I like thoughts. Here is a teaser for your thoughts:

He closed his eyes and saw Jem's evil little smirk, the one he always got whenever he and Will were about to do something both bad and good.