Rachel's decided that she's going to take everything Kurt's told her and throw it out the window. It's not like she doesn't like him anymore, and she'd never call off their almost bi-weekly lunch dates, but she's decided that she's going to build her own impression of Finn for herself, Kurt's opinion not included.
She wakes up and makes her way into the kitchen before she even remembers that Finn's sleeping on her couch. He's got her blankets pushed into a bundle at his feet and is snoring softly, mouth hanging open as she stares at him.
Rachel feels something brush against her legs and jumps nearly three feet in the air in shock.
"Berkley," she says, watching as her cat strolls into the kitchen. Rachel hasn't been this on edge before. She's never known herself to be so jumpy and nervous about everything.
She doesn't want to blame Finn for her new personality or anything, but if she has to lay the blame on anyone, it's Finn.
Rachel decides that as long as Finn's asleep, she won't bother him. She needs to make herself breakfast and get dressed so she can make it to work on time, and staring at Finn on her couch isn't going to help her do that.
Okay, so she's not staring. Maybe she's just looking at him longingly for longer than a normal person would. If she were staring, she would be indicating some kind of sympathy for him, and that's not what she feels for Finn at all.
She can just distract herself with making breakfast and not worry about Finn or how cute he looks sleeping on her couch.
She didn't just think that.
Rachel goes into her kitchen and pulls a bushel of grapes from her refrigerator, setting them down on the counter. Maybe if she spends her time focusing on how much fruit she can cut up in half an hour, she won't worry about the fact that Finn's sleeping on her couch and is in her life again. He doesn't need to be the only thing she worries about, anyway. It's not like she's in high school anymore. When they were in high school, it was like all Rachel could ever focus her energy on was Finn. All she thought about was Finn and how he was going to make her next day a living hell.
Rather, how Finn and Quinn were going to make her next day a living hell, but that wasn't the point now.
The more she thinks about it, the more Rachel realizes that maybe it wasn't all Finn who had made her life a living hell. Maybe her whole high school experience wasn't that bad, and she's just making a bigger deal out of everything than she needs to.
Then again, maybe she's not the crazy one. He's the one who thought that she would be willing to actually let him into her apartment after all these years.
But, of course, she's the one who's let him stay in the first place.
She decides that she needs to stop working herself up into a lather. Stressing out over how Finn's in her apartment and sleeping on her couch and eating her food shouldn't be something that makes her feel stressed out and worried, but it is. Ever since he's gotten to Ohio, he's been the most normal she's ever known him to be. He hasn't made one comment about how her clothes make her look like a mix between a toddler and an old lady or how her laugh sounds like nails on a chalkboard yet.
Rachel's been expecting him to break character and turn into the Finn she remembers from high school any moment now. The same rude, inconsiderate Finn that made her want to reconsider answering the phone when he had called her in the first place.
She doesn't hear anything while she's busy throwing all of the fruit she's cut up into a bowl, wiping her hands of the strawberries and grapes and peaches on a towel on the counter nearby. She's learned to keep an ear open to listen to whatever sounds odd from outside for the amount of time she's spent living alone; learning that simply having a cat doesn't make for a very good security system.
Of course, it's only clichéd that Finn's the one to surprise her.
"Oh, my God," she says, jumping slightly and dropping the knife she's using to cut up her breakfast onto the floor by her feet. Finn looks at her, running a hand through his messy hair.
"Sorry," he says, eyes slowly opening and adjusting to the light in the kitchen. "I didn't think you'd be awake yet."
"I have to get ready for work," she tells him, bending over so she can pick up the knife she's dropped and returning to her bowl full of produce. "I'm more surprised that you're up this early." She takes a moment to look at the clock hanging over her stove to see what time it is. "You've got all day to sleep in, don't you?" She smiles to herself, looking down at her feet. "You weren't planning anything important, were you?"
She watches as he looks at her, trying her best not to look back up at him. She doesn't want to look at him for too long. Rachel doesn't know why, but she knows that her heart's going to start wanting to pound out of her chest if she looks at him for too long.
Even if he's ripped her heart out before and torn it into a million little pieces, she still feels like her stomach's going to twist into a knot the next time he looks at her.
"Actually, um, no, I was wondering if you would be able to take me to the hospital today," he tells her, wiping his hands off on his boxer shorts.
This time, however, Rachel manages to find the courage to look up at him. Her brow furrows and she feels anger boil up inside her stomach. All of the words that Kurt's told her are beginning to sink in and absorb into her conscious. Maybe Finn still isn't all he's cracked up to be. Maybe deep down, he's still the horrible, cowardly person she remembers him to be.
"The hospital?" She tries her best not to appear upset, but she's not one who can easily hide her emotions from other people. "Finn, I… I've got a job I've got to go to. I can't just drop everything in my day to take you to the hospital."
He walks up so that he's closer to her, Rachel trying her best not to notice the smirk stuck to his face. The longer she looks at him, the more she wants to forget any of this ever happened. Maybe she can call Kurt and pay him off to take care of Finn instead.
It's turned into a chore much sooner than she's expected.
"Woah, I didn't mean to make you mad," he tells her, moving in closer to her until she can feel his arm come closer to wrapping around her waist. She doesn't want him to touch her. She doesn't want to speak to him, so she doesn't see why she should want him to touch her. "Look, Rachel, I was just wondering if you could drop me off at the hospital, or something. You know, for my leg?"
She turns her head down in the opposite direction of him and does everything in her power to ignore him for as long as possible.
"It looks like your leg is fine," she tells him, snark hidden in her voice. "You're not on your crutches this morning." Her eyes flick up to look at him and she watches as Finn's face begins to turn red, unsure as to why he's been able to make it into her kitchen without the crutches he had seemed so reliant on the night before. "Are you sure you need to go to the hospital?"
Rachel turns around and starts to pour the chopped fruit from the bowl into a Tupperware container that she would be bringing to work that morning. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and walks away from Finn, feeling him walk up behind her. His hands grab on to her waist, holding her firmly in his grip while he has the chance.
"I guess it's just starting to feel better," he tells her, looking down at her as she tips her head up to look into his eyes.
For a moment, she doesn't budge, and instead chooses to look up at Finn like he's just sold her the world, mouth half open and eyes wide as she looks at him. She's never felt him this close against her, nor has she wanted to, either.
But then, she manages to regain her sanity and swats at his chest, pushing herself away from him quickly.
"Don't touch me," she warns him, pushing off of his chest. "I don't care what your leg feels like or not, you're not allowed to touch me."
He looks at her and she feels his eyes trained on her dutifully, not knowing what to think or feel about it. She walks back over to the counter space she's been working in front of and begins to pack up her breakfast for the morning, staring at Finn once she turns around again.
"I'll take you to the hospital after work today," she tells him, furrowing her brow as she looks at him. "But you'll have to come to the school with me." Rachel adjusts her hair and looks at Finn, unsure as to what to do about the whole situation.
Her gut tells her to throw him out on the street with his suitcase and tell him to find some new place to live while he's here. She should have known that the honeymoon period with Finn would have only lasted a day or so, and it has. The morning after she's picked him up and they're already arguing with one another.
"That doesn't sound like a problem," he tells her, smirking at her slightly. Rachel looks at him and scowls, turning around so she can speak to him.
"Finn, let me make something very clear," she tells him, placing a hand on her hip. "Just because you're staying with me does not mean you get to treat me like you would Quinn, or Santana, or any of the other girls you chose to be intimate with during the time we knew each other." She narrows her eyes and walks up to him, having to tip her head up to see him completely. "I'm providing you with a bed and food every once and a while. I'm not a playmate and I'm not someone you can go to for… casual sex, or whatever you normally expect in a woman." She sneers and crosses her arms over her chest, sighing deeply. "And right now, you're going to get dressed in a respectable outfit and be ready to leave in no less than twenty minutes."
She watches as he looks at her and walks through the hall to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
She's not going to be subjected to whatever kind of game he plans on playing with her.
:.:.:
Rachel makes her way back out into the living room after she's gotten dressed and done her hair and makeup, surprised to find Finn dressed and sitting on the edge of her couch once she walks out.
She chooses not to say anything, although she feels that a smile suffices. She grabs her purse and keys from the fishbowl and Finn follows after her, limping slightly on his bad leg. Rachel eyes up his leg as he walks out to her car, unsure as to what's going on with his injury. She feels like she shouldn't really care; if he's able to walk around her apartment without the crutches he's seemed so reliant on, then she shouldn't really worry about anything. Maybe he needs to go to the hospital to change his bandages or something.
Maybe the doctor's going to tell him that he should find his own apartment somewhere in Lima and to stop mooching off of girls he neglected and embarrassed in high school.
They don't really speak to one another on the drive to the elementary school. It's not a very long drive, but Rachel doesn't really want start a conversation with him, either. After her mild episode with him in her kitchen, she's not sure what kind of topic they should start talking about.
It's not like she can just start talking about what she does at her job or whatever movie he watched last night after telling him that he'll never, ever be able to have her.
After all, it's not like he had ever implied that.
Rachel pulls her car into her parking space and kills the engine, turning in her seat to look at Finn. The school buses haven't started pulling in yet, and she's surprised that she's managed to make it there in time.
"So, do you just walk in, or…"
"Pretty much," she says, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door as she grabs her purse from where it sits at her feet. Rachel knows that she shouldn't be this standoffish and curt with Finn. It's not like he's been a complete asshole the entire time she's been having him stay with her.
Granted, he's only been staying with her for about twenty-four hours, but still.
Rachel begins to make her way up to the front doors and listens to Finn get out of the car and shut the door behind her, not bothering to turn around to look at him. It's not like he doesn't know the whole layout of the building. They did go here together back when they were in elementary school, after all.
She swings the front door to the school open and holds it open for Finn, watching him as he limps inside on his bad leg. She furrows her brow and chooses not to say anything about it. It's his leg, so it's his own problem. For all she knows, his lack of crutches is why he's going to the hospital today.
Of course, she does find it funny that the amount of pain he looks like he's in changes from day to day, but that's probably rude to bring up as well.
It reminds her of him in high school. Flaky and flighty and seeming to change his opinion on her every few weeks.
"Good morning," she says to the receptionist with a smile, slinging her purse over her shoulder. The older woman sitting behind the glass smiles back at Rachel, pushing her glasses up further on her nose.
"Mary, this is Finn," Rachel says, gesturing back towards Finn with a smile. "He's an old friend of mine from high school. He's planning on being a music teacher himself."
The older woman smiles and presses a hand to her chest. "Well, bless your heart," she says, beaming.
Finn looks through the glass at the woman and smiles, waving awkwardly.
"Yes, and I told him that he could come in for the day and complete some of his student teaching hours with me, if that's alright?" Rachel drums her fingernails against the desktop in front of the window. She starts to chew her lip nervously and smiles at the woman sweetly. "I know that I probably should have run it through administration first, but I figured-"
"Oh, go ahead sweetheart," the receptionist tells her, smiling and waving the two of them on. "Just let me write you a guest nametag and you should be fine. I'll alert everyone in the building just in case they have any questions."
Rachel turns over her shoulder to Finn with a smug smirk on her face like she's just won the lottery. She waits for a moment and the secretary slides the nametag out from underneath her desk.
"Just fill it out in your room, sweetheart." She pauses for a moment and takes a look at Finn, Rachel noticing what she's doing.
"Have a nice day, you two."
Rachel starts to make her way down the hallway, Finn trailing after her. She doesn't bother to wait up for Finn, whether his leg is bothering him or not.
"Rachel, what the hell was that?"
She rolls her eyes and turns around in the hall, her voice lowered down to a hushed whisper.
"I can't just bring you in here as a guest, Finn," she says, like it's some big, obvious thing he's supposed to know. "So you're just going to pretend you're a student teacher here today." She waves his nametag in the air by her face, smiling slightly. "Besides, it'll be fun. My job's not that difficult, anyway."
She turns around again and continues down the hallway until she stops in front of her door, pulling her lanyard of keys out from her purse and twisting the handle. She flicks the lights on and walks to her desk, watching as Finn spends more time looking around and taking his time than actually walking inside of the room.
"This place hasn't really changed," he tells her, head tipped up and looking at the posters she has decorating the walls. Most of them aren't really hers, anyway. She looks at him after setting her purse on her desk and wipes her hands off on her skirt, walking over to him. Her room is one of the biggest ones in the building, even though Rachel isn't sure why. There's just enough room for her to make a circle with her students and walk around them when she chooses to play Duck Duck Goose with them after a night she hasn't bothered to put together an actual lesson plan.
(Duck Duck Goose should be able to count as a musical activity.)
"Yeah," she says off-handedly, walking over to a cabinet and pulling out a stack of whiteboards and a basket of dry-erase markers. "It's kind of funny, actually. The longer you stay here, though, the older you feel." She giggles under her breath and sets the materials down on the floor on top of the colorful rug she has spread out in the center of the room.
Finn looks at her and she feels his eyes trained on her as she walks around the room, preparing her classroom for the day ahead of her. Normally she would feel like it was just another day, but it's not. Finn's watching her like a hawk and observing everything she's doing.
"What are you doing?" She asks, staring back at him.
"Well, I'm supposed to be your little apprentice today, aren't I?" He asks her, cocking his head to the side. He finds a small chair to sit in and slowly eases himself into it, Rachel finding it hard not to laugh once she notices six-foot tall Finn hunched over in a small chair built for a boy less than half his age. "By the way, you're forgetting my nametag, Miss Berry."
Rachel rolls her eyes as she watches him pick up one of the maracas off of the shelving unit behind his chair. He shakes it a bit and smiles to himself, Rachel walking back to her desk and scribbling his name down on the nametag she had been given moments earlier.
"There," she says, peeling the sticker from its back and slapping it on his chest. "If I'm Miss Berry, you're Mr. Hudson."
She watches him as he starts to laugh and rolls his eyes. "You like this, don't you?" She turns around to face him, unsure as to what he's talking about. "Your job, I mean. I mean, I don't remember that much about you in school, but you really liked music, didn't you?"
"Y-yes," she says, unsure as to why her voice feels the need to fall into a stammer. "I always knew growing up that I wanted to do something with my musical gifts and talents." She starts to pull the blinds open to her room and the sunlight begins to stream in, providing more light than the flickering fluorescents that hover above them.
There's a beat of silence between the two of them, Rachel continuing to walk around her room and organize things into oblivion for the day. She's normally much more methodical about this. It's just the fact that Finn's there, watching her this time.
"Hey," he tells her, his voice softer than she's used to hearing it. "I'm sorry for this morning, just so y'know. I was tired and kind of cranky and I'm not really myself in the morning, but what I did was totally uncalled for. Like, I'm your guest, Rachel. The fact that you're doing all of this for me is just… like, mind-blowing."
She tips her head down from where she's standing and bites down on a smile, beginning to play with her hands in front of her.
"You're forgiven," she says, not bothering to turn around to face him. Her heels clack against the carpeted floor and she makes her way to her desk again, walking behind it and sitting in her chair so that she can log onto her computer. She sits in her chair and swivels around so that her back is facing Finn, her ponytail falling over her shoulder as she adjusts herself.
"So, um, when do all of the kids show up?" He asks her, clasping his hands together. She spins around and looks at him, eyes wide. "I mean, I'm kind of excited for that, I'm not going to lie. Do you think they'll let me go out to recess with them and stuff?"
Rachel lets out a giggle and hits a few keys on her keyboard before looking at him again. "I'm sure if you really wanted to, they would agree to let you assist in supervising." She stands up from her chair again and walks up to the door, opening it up slowly. "Besides, I don't just teach one group of children; I teach every class that comes in. Don't you remember music class when we were younger?"
"Yeah," he says, nodding his head slowly. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I do. You were in my music class, Rachel."
She nods and smiles at him, holding onto the door. "Well, the kids come in for little forty-five minute increments twice a week, and I teach them then. I don't think I could ever handle being an actual teacher."
"Well duh, because then you couldn't sing to them."
Rachel smiles and feels her face begin to redden. "No," she says, trying her best to let her emotions be seen. "Sure," she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I mean, that's why I became a music teacher, but, you know. It takes a special kind of a person to be a teacher. It's why they have appreciation days for them."
:.:.:
About halfway into her day, one of Rachel's fifth grade classes comes in. The fifth graders are her least favorite; they're the oldest ones in the building and the most defiant, at that.
They are, however, the only ones she feels are old enough to cover her favorite subject with.
"Alright, class," she says once all of the students have entered the room and sat down in the circle they always do, Rachel nudging herself into the circle between two girls on her knees. "Today, we have a very special visitor with us," she says, gesturing towards Finn and offering him a smile. "This is Mr. Hudson," she says, her voice oozing of sugary sweetness. "He's getting ready to be a music teacher, just like me."
She offers him a wink and he laughs, waving at the classroom of children. Rachel feels her chest tighten and looks back at her class, a smile painted on her face.
"He's going to be watching what we do in class for the day so he knows how to be a good teacher," she says, the students looking at her like she holds the world in her hands. "Besides, I think that today is one of the best days for him to be here, because we get to talk about one of my favorite parts about music."
The kids watch her as she smiles and adjusts her hands in her lap. "Does anyone here know what a musical is?"
A girl raises her hand off to the side of the circle.
"Yes, Abby?"
"It's like, a movie where everybody sings in it?"
Rachel laughs softly to herself and nods her head towards the girl missing her two front teeth. "That's very good," she says, a smile still stuck to her face. "Does anyone else want to guess what a musical is?"
A few more kids raise their hands and Rachel calls on them, seeming to enjoy this time with her students more than any other time she's spent with them all day. She watches Finn out of the corner of her eye from time to time, wondering if he's watching her like she's crazy.
He's not – or at least he doesn't look like he is.
She spends a few more minutes talking to the students about musicals and finally stands up, a grin stuck to her face. She makes some announcement about them watching a movie musical in class and turns around to turn on the television set behind her, the students all beginning to laugh and smile and cheer because they get to watch a movie for the day.
By the time the titles for West Side Story flash onto the old television set, Rachel's walked back over to her desk to put something away, noticing that Finn's moved over in his chair so he's able to get a better view of the television set. She smiles and begins to make her way back over to the group of students now huddled around the television set, but Finn stops her.
"You really like musicals, don't you?" His voice is caught in a whisper, but he still smiles at her like it's his favorite thing to talk about.
"I suppose," she says, trying to play everything off like it's nothing.
Finn turns back to the television set for a moment, only to turn back to Rachel one more time.
"Yeah, you were in like, all of the musicals in high school, weren't you?"
"Yeah," she says, smiling fondly at the words that escape her. There's a beat and Finn's still looking up at her, drumming his fingers against the chair he's sitting in.
"Yeah, I remember you being really good and stuff, Rachel. That was, like, what you were going to do with your life, wasn't it? At least that's what everyone thought would happen to you." He smiles at her slightly, but Rachel doesn't say anything back. Her smile falls and she grabs onto the hem of her skirt, worrying it in her hand nervously.
"Yeah," she says, her voice falling into something just short of a whisper. "But, um, I love my job now, and I wouldn't trade it for the world."
She sighs and rests a hand on Finn's shoulder unknowingly.
"This is my last class of the day. We can leave for the hospital early if you'd like." Rachel walks past him back to her class and stands behind them, eyes engrossed in the movie flickering on the television screen in front of her.
She never expected Finn's arrival to turn into some soul-searching adventure for her. She's done enough of that already.
She can take him to the hospital and forget all about what he tells her, whether what he says is on purpose or not. Maybe taking care of Finn is good for her. She gets to feel like she's helping someone without actually doing all of the dirty work. Maybe providing him with food and shelter and a shoulder to lean on is all he really needs.
She doesn't need Finn to dissect her life choices and remind her just like everyone else always has that she's made the wrong decisions in life. That's what everyone else is for.
Maybe, just maybe, Finn's supposed to be in her life for a good reason. Whatever that reason is, she doesn't know yet – but she'll be damned if she doesn't find out.