Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

Chapter 8

After spending the day in bed recovering, Will went to dinner, where he ate in complete silence while everyone else made light conversation. Immediately following the meal, Will went up to his room, where he took a hot bath and drank the remainder of the brandy from Jem's room. He read a book until the words slammed into one another on the page, and then climbed into bed.

Will was to turn 18 at sometime during the night. He didn't know many of the circumstances surrounding his birth but did know that he had arrived some time after midnight, during a blizzard that nearly buried the town his parents lived in. From that point on, his mother had always believed that Will brought trouble wherever he went. She hadn't been completely wrong.

Will stared up at the ceiling as he lay in the middle of his bed. He thought about how he and Jem had once had so many plans for this night. One plan had involved them going to a bar and drinking to much, and another plan included going to a brothel and having some fun, together. Will had even figured that he might spend the night packing up the remainder of his clothes and preparing to move out.

The rules were specific. The Institute would only house Shadowhunters until their 18th birthday, and then they were to find their own living arrangements. Before, Will and Jem had plans to move out of the Institute and rent a small flat across town together. They had even planned, very briefly, to move to Paris with Magnus. They thought they would be together, no matter what. They had spent their life together making plans, and even though Will had expected Jem to die before the plans were realized, he hadn't planned on living without him.

Somewhere in the Institute, a clock struck midnight. Will rolled onto his side and drew the quilt up to his chin. He and Jem had a tradition they had shared from their first year together at the Institute. On the night before each of their birthdays, they spent the night together, so that one was the first to wish the other a happy birthday. It was a silly tradition, but for five years, they had kept it up. This was the first night Will would be spending the night of his birthday completely alone.

Will pulled his knees up to his chest and stared at the wall. He thought about getting up, leaving a note, and sneaking out. Perhaps he would go get a drink. Maybe, he would go see Magnus… but he couldn't. Not the way they had parted before. Magnus said he would be back and he would be back, and perhaps Will would forgive him and perhaps he wouldn't. Regardless, it was foolish to cross town on a cold February night just to have someone to spend the night with.

There was Tessa, but Tessa meant trouble and Will didn't have the energy to get into any more trouble. Before, he would have relished the idea of climbing into Tessa's bed and spending the night, if only to disrupt the Institute, but Henry's beating had, for once, knocked some sense into him. It wasn't worth causing trouble at the Institute.

Across the hallway, Will heard Sophie climb out of bed, cross her room, and open her bedroom door. A moment later, Will's door opened.

"Will?" Sophie asked. "Will. Wake up, Will."

"What is it, Sophie?" Will mumbled. Sophie closed the door to the bedroom and appeared beside the bed in a long, flowing night gown.

"Remember when I said he was really active at night? You have to feel this," Sophie said. She took Will's hand and pressed it to the side of her stomach. Will tried to pull his hand away but Sophie held it.

"This is most inappropriate," Will said, although he did marvel at the various kicks and punches the baby was drilling Sophie's stomach with.

"Inappropriate flew out the window six months ago, Mr. Herondale," Sophie said. "Move over."

"I will not."

"Move. OVER!"

With a frustrated moan, Will moved aside and Sophie slipped beneath the quilt, leaving a considerable distance between them.

"My back hurts and Jem's son is keeping me awake and I thought there had to have been some reason why Jem's bed wasn't slept in on some nights," Sophie said. "Treat me as you would Jem. I think Jem would have wanted you to do that."

Will looked at the woman beside him and silently cursed Jem, then apologized.

"On Jem's worst days he still wasn't an unmarried, pregnant woman," Will said. Sophie reached beneath the covers and pinched Will on the thigh. "Okay, okay! By the Angel, Sophie."

"You can share a bed with Jem and Tessa and Beatrice and Magnus and countless other whores but you can't share a bed with me?" Sophie asked. "Admit it, Will. You and I have something in common. The person who should be in our bed isn't."

"It can be argued that Jem was never in your bed to begin with," Will said. Sophie grabbed Will's hand and pressed it to her lower back. Will took the hint and began to massage the knotted muscles beneath her nightgown. He closed his eyes. "I don't think we should name him James."

"Why not?"

"He'll never be Jem. I don't want to name him after Jem because this baby will be nothing like Jem. James can be part of his name, sure, but I was thinking about… Charles," Will said. "Charles is a good, strong name. I thought… Charles, like Charles Dickens. We could call him Charlie."

"Charlie Carstairs," Sophie said. "I like that."

They each lapsed into silence. Once Will's hands got sore massaging Sophie's back, he moved his hand around to Sophie's front and rested it on her stomach as the baby continued to kick. Sophie was warm, and she didn't object when he moved just the slightest bit closer. Will told himself that Jem would have wanted someone to keep his child's mother warm on such a cold February night. Sophie sighed and rested her hand on Will's as the baby settled down. They each didn't speak for a long while, until Will finally broke the silence.

"I'll never marry you," Will mumbled. "I'll never make love to you. I'll never be who Jem wanted for you."

"I know," Sophie whispered.

The last words Will heard before he drifted off to sleep with Sophie in his arms was her wishing him happy birthday.

Early the next morning, Will woke up freezing cold to find Charlotte sitting on the side of his bed. Sophie was no longer with him, so Will gave Charlotte a smirk and pulled the covers back.

"I'll do anything once," Will said. "Just make sure your husband doesn't find out. I would hate for him to mop the training room floor with me again."

"You're going to find that your stunts are suddenly no longer acceptable," Charlotte said. "Happy birthday, William."

"Thank you," Will said.

"When I took you in, I thought it would be temporary. Then Jem arrived and it became permanent. I never planned on being a mother to you both, but that is how things between us ended up. Now, I want to be your mother. I want to keep you safe and shield you from harm and heartache, and I would if I could, but you have your own life to live and I can no longer meddle in it."

This was it. This was when she would tell Will that it was time for him to leave the Institute. He had money, of course, and he could find a place to live, but he would never again have the only thing the Institute had to offer him: a family.

"I'm here to offer you a job as weapons specialist for the London Institute. The job is easy, the pay is minimal, and the position comes with free room and board. If you want to continue to live here, and possibly raise your son within the Institute, you are expected to earn your keep. If you cause any problems, you can kiss this opportunity good bye."

"I accept the job," Will said. "When do I start?"

"Henry will show you the ins and outs of the room today, and you can start as soon as he is finished," Charlotte said. "Also, since you are 18, you are permitted to attend the Enclave meetings, and one is going to be held this afternoon. Camille Belcourt returned and committed a crime against the warlock, Magnus Bane." Will looked up at Charlotte. "He was here yesterday, and left with me… this." Charlotte handed Will a letter and a small velvet box.

"I don't want this," Will said. Charlotte stood up and went to the window. She tossed open the curtains, letting in sunlight, and kept her back to him.

You and I will discuss this exactly once, and then, never again," Charlotte said. "A mother always knows. You and Jem weren't as careful as you thought. You left your bed made neatly far too many times. I tried to deny it- I couldn't imagine something like that going on in my Institute, but there it was. You were intimate in the manner you regarded one another. Suddenly Jem belonged to you, and you belonged to Jem, and there wasn't anything Henry or I could have done about it."

"There are people in the world we are meant to be with, and you were never meant to be with Sophie. You would never love her the way a husband should love his wife. I want you to try to be who she needs you to be, but I don't expect you to love her as anything more than the mother of Jem's son. That is all Sophie expects of you, and it is doing Jem's memory a disservice if you don't give Sophie that."

Will nodded and looked down at the envelope in his hand. The name "Will" was written across the envelope with elegant, swirling script. The parchment smelled like vanilla, and Magnus.

"You need someone that belongs to you, Will. I know that Magnus being a man, a warlock, and your lover isn't something I should approve of, but I approve of him. I don't think you would have survived Jem's death without Magnus's unconditional devotion," Charlotte said. "He told me that he loves you. He has been at your side for six months. He could have left you at anytime, William. But he didn't. Read the letter. Open your present. Then, come downstairs. We're having your favorite for breakfast."

"You don't know what my favorite is," Will scoffed.

"Strawberry Belgian waffles, bacon, and eggs," Charlotte said. "Jem knew your favorite. Why do you think we always had that meal for your birthday?" Will blushed. "I'll see you soon." Charlotte gave Will another smile, and then left the room.

Will procrastinated opening the letter. He waited until he was completely bathed, shaved, and dressed before he sat down on his bed, lifted the velvet box, and opened it up.

Inside sat a thick silver band with several star shaped designs etched all the way around it. Tiny rubies were set into each of the stars. Will closed the box again, tore open the envelope, and pulled out a letter.

Will,

I know you must hate me and I know I hurt you in the worst way possible. Just understand that no matter what, I still love you. Even distance and time wouldn't change how I feel about you. I love you, Will. I'll love you today, tomorrow, and a lifetime after that.

People say they don't know why or how they could love someone, but I know why and how I can love you. The reason why is because I can't imagine a life without you. If you gave me another chance, I would show you how I could love you. I would hold you in my arms and never let you go if you only let me.

The worst part of all of this is that I know you're reading this letter and you're wishing I never wrote it. You want me to fade away and to never see you again. If that is really and truly what you want, I will have to understand.

If you're willing to talk with me, keep the ring and we'll talk. If you and I are finished, give the ring back to Charlotte and I'll be gone from your life forever. The choice is and always has been yours.

Love,
Magnus.

Will snapped the ring box closed and put the letter back into the envelope. He placed both objects on the bedside table, and then walked out of the room and downstairs. It was a few minutes before breakfast was to start. Tessa was waiting for him.

"Happy Birthday, Will!" She exclaimed.

"It's just my birthday. We don't have to celebrate it," Will said. He walked into the dining room and stopped short.

Charlotte was distributing plates of strawberry waffles to Henry and Jessamine. Sophie sat by, talking and laughing. In the middle of the table sat a stack of brightly wrapped presents.

"I don't feel good," Will said. "I'll just take breakfast upstairs." He turned to walk out of the room but Tessa grabbed him by the shoulders.

"We wanted to get you presents and so we did. If you want to put them in the corner of your room and never open them, that's fine. They still belong to you," Tessa said. "Now come and eat. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I had a strawberry?" Tessa grabbed Will's hand and pulled him over to the table. Will sat between Tessa and Sophie and accepted a plate of food.

Charlotte and Henry were determined to make breakfast an enjoyable affair, if only to take Will's mind off of everything else going on. They announced that Will had accepted the job as a weapons specialist and would therefore be staying at the Institute. Jessamine smiled politely, as did Sophie, but Tessa clapped her hands and told Will how happy she was. Will gave her an uneasy smile.

"A weapons specialist?" Sophie asked. "You're filling the position Thomas… vacated?"

"Well, I have to have some sort of job here, Sophie, or…I can't live here," Will said. "I thought… this was the best place for us to raise Charlie."

Sophie looked up and down the table. Everyone had gotten quiet and expected Will or Sophie to make some sort of outburst.

"We'll need a crib," Sophie offered. "The baby has to sleep somewhere."

"It's no problem to find a crib," Henry said. "No problem at all."

After they ate, everyone remained at the table and took turns looking at Will's pile of gifts. Will tied his napkin into a knot, untied it, and tied it again.

"Biggest to smallest, or smallest to biggest?" Tessa asked. When Will didn't respond, she grabbed a small present and placed it in front of Will. "That one is from Charlotte and Henry."

Will looked at the present before him and bit his lip. It was wrapped in heavy brown paper and adorned with a hastily tied bow. It was small, no bigger than Will's palm, which meant that unless it was a weapon, it was more than just a casual birthday present. The thought that Henry had even gone so far as to give Will a present was embarrassing. Will wanted to leave it on the table and go upstairs, but he also wanted to know what it was.

"Go on, Will," Charlotte said.

Will seized the present and tore the paper off. A silver pocket watch fell into his hand. His initials were engraved on the back and the front of it was adorned with a rune. It was connected to a heavy silver chain.

"I thought you could use a nice pocket watch," Henry explained.

Henry went on to tell Will about the watch, such as the fact that it would never need to be wound or cleaned. Will opened the cover of it and looked down into the clock face. The hour and minute hands didn't match, and the second hand was made of a tiny, jagged piece of metal. Henry didn't dare mention that he had made the watch by hand and built it piece by piece from scraps he had in his crypt. It had to have taken him months to complete.

"Thank you, Henry, it's beautiful," Will said. "You shouldn't have." Will put the pocket watch on the table and began to push it over to Henry, to give it back, but Tessa shoved another present before him.

"Jessamine and Sophie went shopping together. What do you think they got you?" She asked. Will smiled.

"I'm afraid to find out," He said. He opened the present to find a brand new frock coat and a fine silk top hat.

"We saw them hanging in a shop window one afternoon when we were out walking," Sophie said. "We thought someone should be able to enjoy them. You look so nice in black."

"Thank you, Sophie and Jessamine, you're too kind," Will said. "I don't think I have a use for…"

"It's February. You need a coat," Tessa said briskly. "Here. Even I got you something." She placed one last present in front of Will. It was rectangular in shape. Will smiled and pulled the wrapping paper off to reveal a thick book.

"Great Expectations!" Will exclaimed.

"First edition," Tessa said with a blush.

"I must be taken as I have been made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me," Will quoted.

"Estella," Tessa said.

"Chapter 38. I read this book as soon as I could read," Will said with a smile. "My father and I… never mind."

"Tell me," Tessa said.

Will blushed and looked up and down the table. Charlotte and Henry were watching him intently.

"My father used to read this book to me," Will mumbled. "Whenever he read lines of dialogue spoken by Magwitch, he used this really funny voice. It was nothing. Just something silly." Will opened the book and looked over the title page. "Thank you, Tessa."

After the presents had been opened, Charlotte insisted they have cake despite it being breakfast time. The cake was chocolate, covered in a thick white layer of butter cream. Will had a large slice, and then, while everyone was still distracted by the cake, quickly carried all of his presents upstairs. He hung the frock coat in the bureau and put the hat on his hat rack. He placed the watch in his top dresser drawer, with his dagger, the book on his bedside table, and then went downstairs to the weapons room.

Henry arrived a few minutes later and unlocked the door. They walked in and he lit a few witch light sconces on the walls. They filled the room with a bright, green glow. Henry mumbled the word "fucking" and followed it with the word "Lightwoods."

"I beg your pardon?" Will asked, intrigued. Henry rarely swore and hardly ever directed foul language at anyone.

"Nothing," Henry said. "This is the weapons room. Here is a desk." He walked over to a desk, opened a drawer, and pulled out a notebook. "Here is a list of the inventory that must be on hand at all times. If a weapon has been damaged, we must order a new one, unless it is fixable, in which case you put it over there…" he gestured to a box on the other side of the room, "and I will fix it."

Will nodded and looked around the room. The walls were covered with droves of all types of weapons, from long, sharp swords, to razor sharp throwing disks, to heavy battle axes. Several tables sat in the middle of the room and were covered with more weapons in various states of damage.

"You'll need to keep the room clean and organized," Henry said. His crypt was neither clean nor organized. "Your first order of business, every day, is to clean the weapons and armor that were returned from the previous night's dispatch." Henry pointed to a box beside the door which was filled with, among many other things, several long swords, and two protective vests.

"How do I clean them?" Will asked.

"Soap and water. Don't forget to wear gloves," Henry said. Will nodded. "Will, I… I wanted to give you something else for your birthday but I didn't want anyone to be around when I gave it to you."

Henry pushed the door to the weapons room closed and brought a long stick from a corner of the room. Before he got close to Will, Will saw what it was and took a step back. Henry held out Jem's jade tipped cane.

"He would have wanted you to have it," Henry said. "If anything, he would have wanted you to pass it on to his son." Will took the cane and looked it over. It was strange to be holding something that Jem had used nearly every day of his life.

"Thank you, Henry," Will said.

"Charlotte told me this morning that she had a talk with you about Magnus," Henry said. "You and he were lovers, yes?" Will nodded and stared down at the jade dragon on top of the cane.

"He hurt me, Henry," Will said. "I wish you and Charlotte would just…"

"I know that losing Jem hurt you. I know you don't want to love anyone but him. I know you feel like you're being unfaithful to him, even if all you want to do is be happy with Magnus," Henry said. "I know what losing a parabatai and lover can do to someone." Will looked up at Henry. "Charlotte says she knew you and Jem were something more when you started having… sex. But I knew long before then."

"When?" Will asked.

"Do you remember when Jem fell down the steps and had the attack? And he was unconscious for several days? You were thirteen," Henry said. Will nodded. "You sat beside his bed for hours at a time. You didn't eat. You barely slept. You just held his hand and waited for him to wake. You mourned him the way someone would mourn a lost lover. You weren't even parabatai yet, but you were already bound together by love. I just knew you and Jem had something rare. You loved each other."

Will's eyes blossomed with tears and he stared at the floor.

"It's easy to fall in love with someone who swears on their life to protect you. It's easy to think that they are the only person you would ever want to be with. I know, Will, I know," Henry said. Will lifted his head to see Henry crying as well. "I understand what it's like to not want to love anyone but… him."

"I just want him back, beside me," Will said. "I just want him here, with me, Henry. The thought of living without him is… why it's incomprehensible!"

"Jem would want you to move on," Henry said. "He loved you very much, and he would want you to be happy. I can't tell you what to do about you and Magnus, but I can tell you… give yourself a chance to find love. You're allowed to fall madly in love with anyone you want."

"I don't know if I can," Will said. Henry gripped Will by the arms and looked into his eyes.

"You can, and you will," Henry said. "Promise me, Will."

"I promise."

Author's Note: Feel free to review. I do like a bit of encouragement. Credit goes to Charles Dickens for the quote from Great Expectations. Thanks for reading. Here's a teaser:

"You poor boy," Benedict said, "Your family's past really is a mystery to you, isn't it?"