Chapter Three

By Nyance-ler

"Thanks, Alex," Jay said, straightening his papers on his desk. He hoped that masked enough that he did not mean "thanks, Alex," like, at all. It didn't. The entire newsteam knew it at this point and so did all of Afrijapan.

Then Taka-I-mean-Scar the Lord King Scar Dude had him executed because his television sucked and he hated living in Afrijapan.

In fact, he thought to himself, since he'd managed to directly or not kill off the rest of his family, he'd realized that maybe. Just maybe. Becoming the king hadn't been worth it at all.

It was time for him to leave Afrijapan. Time for a new journey. He stood from his throne, full of valiant determination, striking a dramatic pose and looking slightly upwards and to the side at some unspecified point that you'd better not fucking question because, dammit, it's for the drama of the thing.

Zazu (whom I can only assume is fucking alive here), however, decided to question the staring.

"Sire?" he questioned from his far corner of the room. His job, like that of many others, was to sit around and tell the Lord King Scar Dude how well he was doing. And it was always well, even if it wasn't, which was why somehow his ascension to the throne had caused, y'know. Natural disasters and shit. Each individual point made about as much sense as the next.

Taka turned, his hair flying dramatically behind him, sparkling in some places as a nonexistent light still managed to catch his eye and gleam. "Zazu, I'm leaving to find my new destiny. It will be a long and arduous journey. I won't be coming back. Tell Sarabadabdoobee that she is to take over my duties as king."

"But, sire-!"

"No buts, Zazu! I begin my journey now!"

What Taka did not know, however, was that Zazu wasn't trying to stop him, but attempting to warn him of the rip in the right asscheek of his pants. It had been there for years. Not just in that one pair, even, but in quite a few. He hadn't questioned how they'd gotten there, nor as to why it was always the exact same spot. But each time he'd tried to tell him, something had stopped him. And now he'd never have the chance. A single, stray tear rolled down his beak I mean his cheek.

Taka had prepared himself mentally. He was ready for this. The harsh lands of Afrijapan were not for every man, but he knew he was great enough to overcome it. The journey would be long, difficult, but he knew. He knew he could do it.

And then he found himself, like, maybe ten miles from Afrijapan in the strange land of Actualjapan. Immediately, he was approached by a girl whose head was surrounded in slightly discolored pink hearts, each of which occasionally popped and respawned near the bottom of her head, only to float up and die again.

"Is this a normal reaction to meeting people here?" Taka asked.

The girl giggled, introducing herself as Zira-chan. "Oh, Taka-sama, you're so funny. It's because I'm your fangirl, silly!" she explained, immediately clamping onto him with a vicegrip and burying her head in his chest. "I'm what they call yandere and I just know we're gonna be beeeeeest friends forever!"

Taka had no idea what the hell yandere was. But he's probably totally kinky like that anyways and would've been okay with it, since later he wound up waking from a drugged over haze bound to a chair in what he presumed to be her basement. Instead of wallpaper, it was just a bunch of pictures of him. Which was awesome. Damn, he looked good.

Anyways, they had sex and had Kovu.