Sake beneath the moon
"You're the only one who would wish for something like this."
Rikuo said calmly before carefully sliding the lantern's string over his arm. "Beside…" With his now freed hand, he gently took the hand I held my feather with. He pulled my hand up and planted a gentle kiss at the tip of my feather.
"…I don't recall using this feather to wish for such thing. Don't do something stupid like this again."
His voice came out low and firm. I could feel the warmth of his breath caressing my fingers as he spoke. "You mean…this lantern…" I mumbled softly before my eyes softened in realization. My voice trailed off, my eyelids half way down my eyes. Too weak to hold myself up anymore, my body began to sink into his arm. At that, Rikuo gently pulled me closer to him, allowing my head to rest upon his shoulder.
"Don't sleep."
His hard voice commanded. Strangely, my body obeyed his words and almost instantly the drowsiness cleared a bit. "Who…would…" My voice trailed off again, growing too faint for even me to hear. I couldn't think straight. Inside my mind was a complete mess. Even the world before my eyes was spinning uncontrollably to the point where I could no longer tell apart the ground and sky
'Damn it…that Jorougu…!' I cursed within my mind.
I bit down on my lower lip, but that did little in helping me with anything. I didn't know if I began hallucinating things because of the pain…but I suddenly found our surroundings began distorting. I saw this strange darkness shrouding itself around us, shutting us off from the distorted scenery.
Everything within my view was wrapped within darkness. I stared silently, too little energy to question what this was. After a second or two, the darkness around us suddenly shattered. I slowly gazed around, finding ourselves within an unfamiliar part of the forest.
That lake, that gigantic web, Jorougumo…they were all gone.
As shocked as I was, I didn't bothered asking him for an explanation of the event that just occurred. I was tired. I couldn't feel my fingers, my head was throbbing and pain was beating through my veins.
"You…grew…"
I mumbled softly as Rikuo stopped dead in his track. A gentle wind blew by. The air was filled with the songs of the forest that synchronizes with my heavy pants. "Shouldn't you go back?" Rikuo suddenly asked, his eyes narrowing upon me. However, I just acted oblivious to the expression written across his face.
"We haven't meet…for 5 years…and you're telling me to leave? Aren't you…a cruel one?" I whispered between pants. "This body of yours can't recover can it? Wouldn't it be more convenient for you if you return to your real body to heal yourself?" Rikuo said and at that, my smile gradually vanished from my face.
"How do you–"
"If you have time to talk, why don't you leave?"
He rudely cut me off, his crimson eyes locked tightly against mine. "I just want to see you a little longer…can't I?" I teased, straining my muscles just to force out a small smile. "Then why didn't you come back to Kantou?" He then questioned as I suddenly felt a strange urge to roll my eyes.
"…The air in Kantou isn't much to my likings." I lied through my teeth.
"Now that you're the famous Supreme Commander of the Nura Clan, I see…your attitude has rotten considerably. Don't you think…you can at least show some warmth…to someone you haven't meet for 5 years?"
The minute those words flowed out of my lips, I noticed Rikuo's expression darkened in anger. "Warmth?" He whispered as I felt his grip tightened upon me. "Then what about you?" I heard him muttered beneath his breath.
"After finally meeting in 5 years you just decided to die?"
My eyes widened as I felt his voice echoed within my ears. "If the clone dies, your real body will die as well. Isn't that what you said to me?" "…If a little acid like this can kill me, I would have been killed long ago." I coughed. "What about poison?" Rikuo said before gently taking my injured arm and holding my hand into my view. Unable to look elsewhere, I was forced to stare at the greenish colour running within my veins. It was moving, the colour I meant. It was slowly making its way up my arms.
"You seemed familiar with that youka. There's no way you wouldn't know."
"My…I absolutely hadn't the slightest idea. In honest truth I haven't…meet her in 7 years." I chuckled.
"If you really want me to leave…then very well. I'll–" Just when I was about to release my clone, I suddenly felt a heavy pressure slamming against me. I nearly choked upon that. I held my breath, my eyes slowly trailing up to Rikuo who was staring down at me even more intense gaze than before.
"What will you do when you return?"
He suddenly asked as I felt another beat of sweat rolling down my forehead. But I wasn't sweating of the pain…but from the ridiculous amount of fear Rikuo was releasing around us. The darkness of his fear is wrapping around me. "What…I ask…are you doing?" I tried to fake out a laugh, but I couldn't find myself to.
Rikuo didn't answer but just stared at me in silence. I couldn't help but tremble upon his fear that was crawling over my skin. I quickly tried to release my clone, but I found myself without the strength to. My real body…I can't feel it.
Rikuo's fear has completely isolated my clone out of my real body's reach.
"What's this now…? First you're telling me to return…now you're preventing me to leave?"
"Not until you can promise me." He suddenly said as I narrowed my eyes at him.
"…Promise?"
"On the next sakura's bloom, come to Kantou."
"…Excuse me?" I mumbled softly, wondering if this guy has lost a screw to his head somewhere within these 5 years. "Why should…I promise such ridiculous thing…Rikuo-sama?" I questioned, but gotten no reply.
"That kind of thing…I won't promise you."
I turned him down flatly. "Then I won't let you return." "I'm dying here." I told him, my panting growing heavier by the seconds. I wasn't joking. I could literally feel the poison that's flowing throughout my veins.
'This man…'
"What difference would it make? You're going to die even if you return." He said sternly.
'Why does he know?'
"Making such expression…will ruin your face…" I said, trying to change the subject, but he completely ignored me.
"You didn't plan on living longer than tonight, isn't that right?"
"I have no idea what…"
I was about to say – but when I saw the look in his eyes, I faintly smiled instead. "What…will you do about it?" I asked him. "First you urged me to go back, now you're locking me here…in this…" I mumbled, trailing off as I stared at his visible fear that is acting as a prison to prevent me from leaving.
"I don't recall…ever telling you anything about this…and you even know the fact that a clone cannot recover…"
"I have a new alliance clan. Coincidently they have a doji subordinate."
Rikuo replied and I smirked at that. "I see…another doji." I mumbled softly to myself. "Been years…since I last saw one..." I could feel the heaviness of my eyelids growing. "…What would you do now, Supreme Commander?" I asked him. "Keep me here and I'll die…let me return and I'll still die." "The decision is up to you." Rikuo replied, but I only snort out a laugh.
"Really…?" I mumbled softly, staring at his fear that Rikuo seemed to have no plan on releasing.
"Then I think I'll stay…I was planning to since the beginning anyways."
I whispered before looking up at the full moon. "It's a very boring place for a rotting corpse…the place where my real body rested…" I told him in a soft voice. "If you have…problem with corpse, then you can leave me here. The…The moon is better to view alone." I coughed again, feeling as though something was stuck in my lungs despite the fact that this body has no organs.
"I won't let you say farewell." Rikuo spoke after a long while, his grip tightening over me.
At that, I only smiled more.
"Then you're just being cruel." I told him softly.
"I no longer…have a place…to run to." I turned my eyes towards the moon that was beginning to peer out from the clouds. "I have already…lived long enough." My head slowly tilted down, my gaze landing at Rikuo's lantern resting in my arms as I spoke.
I slowly ran my weak fingers down the paper surface of the lantern. "If you can find me, I'll submit to you. Are you going back on our deal?" I heard as my fingers froze half way from fully caressing the broken thing.
"You…considered that a deal?" I laughed weakly, carefully not to overdo myself to cause anymore unnecessary pain. "Those are…merely words I said on a whim."
"But a deal's a deal."
Rikuo pushed on. At that, I broke into a heavier laughter. I could feel the pain beating beneath my skin, but I didn't care. "Then that's too bad…He saw…what this body of mine really is…he won't be tricked anymore." I whispered as I remember the colour of that eye embedded deeply in Jorougumo's soul. "He will find me…way before you." I told him, and I could tell that he wasn't pleased by the news.
In fact…he seemed pissed.
"Who is this he you speak of?"
"Someone…you'll never meet."
I replied. But that moment, I suddenly felt a hand grabbing hold of the back of my head. My head was being pushed up…or his head was leaning towards me. I didn't know which, but our faces were drawn to each other and our lips met.
I could feel it perfectly, his soft lips against my hard cold ones. It was a strange sensation I couldn't describe…never had I have a kiss that felt so…strangely warm. So shock by his action, I couldn't find myself to react. I didn't know what to do for the first time in my life. In normal circumstances, I would have immediately pushed him away…but I didn't find myself to hate this contact.
I didn't dislike it…the kiss.
It was almost as though I…
"You're always like this," Rikuo spoke the minute he pulled away, "taking everything onto yourself." I didn't look up to him, for that I didn't know what emotion I am supposed to make. My gaze was down, locked against the broken lantern in my arms.
A droplet of water then fell down upon my arm, followed by another.
And another.
Soon, the two of us were bathed within the August shower.
Neither of us moved.
Rikuo just stood as still as a log while I rested silently in his arm. For once in my life, I found the silence uncomfortable – almost frustrating. Yet I didn't know what I was frustrated of.
"When will you trust me?"
Rikuo asked, being the first to break the silence.
Trust
Another alien word.
Another word I don't quite understand. "Again…again, again…You people…love speaking these strange words…and alien language." I mumbled softly as I felt a droplet of warm water sliding down my cheek. But I knew…that was only the droplets from the heaven, heated by the summer air.
"The poison. Do you know the antidote for it?"
Rikuo asked; shifting the subject away as my grip tightened over the lantern. "…I do." I mumbled softly as Rikuo's grip on me loosened almost as though he relaxed himself.
"I'll be waiting in Kantou when the sakura blooms."
He suddenly said as I gritted my teeth, my frustration already reached the tip of Fuji Mountain. "Didn't I say I won't be going?" I snapped. Because I shouted so loudly, I had strained my throat causing blood to splatter out of my mouth. But I don't care. I don't care anymore. I was sick of trying to hold this stupid smile. The stupid act I put up to hide the fact of how petrified I was seeing that eye again.
The eye that made me remembered that face of that monster.
I wanted to die.
Yet this man…was being my obstacles. He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand a thing about me.
"You don't understand a thing!"
In reality, I knew that I was the one who wouldn't let him understand.
But I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Do you know how irritating you are?"
I knew I was just lashing out my anger to him, but I didn't care. After all, I'm not a good person. I was used to it…playing the role of the villain of the story.
"Speaking as if you know me when we only met for two years…who do you think you are? If you want to mettle to my life so much why don't you do me a favor and disappear from my sight!"
No…that wasn't what I wanted to say.
That wasn't at all…yet, what exactly do I want to say?
I…really don't know anything anymore.
The strange feeling trapped within my chest, words that are itching at the tip of my tongue to be said. But what do I really wanted to say? What exactly do I want from this man? Why do I even bother with him? None of these questions could I find an answer to.
The usual mocking smirk that I would put on my face…even that I forgotten how to make.
My anger didn't last long – when a deep chuckle suddenly sliced through my words like a knife.
"What…What's so funny?"
I hissed, glaring upon those crimson eyes that laughed at the sight of me. "So you get angry when you're afraid." Rikuo spoke in amusement as my eyes widened. "What did you say?" I snapped, but only to feel a hand gently pressing my head against his shoulder.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?"
He asked, but something was wrong.
His voice…it changed slightly.
The usual hardness of his tone grew a bit softer…and the way of speech also changed slightly. "You're…" I whispered, my eyes slowly trailing up his tall figure. The first thing that caught my eyes was the soft brownish colour of hair instead of the white. The length of the hair didn't change, but the change in colour said all I needed to know.
"I'm glad to see you again, Miu."
He spoke, turning down to me as I found myself staring into his soft chocolate brown eyes. "The sakura…you'll come won't you?" "Wha…Didn't you hear a thing I said?" I told him.
At that, Rikuo only smiled more.
"Then I'll defeat the one who you're running from."
"What?"
I whispered before noticing how Rikuo's expression suddenly grew serious. "If I defeat him, you won't have a reason to hide anymore." "And how would you do that when you don't even know who he is?" I asked him back. "That spider youkai back there…" Rikuo began as I felt my heart skipped a beat.
"I can easily catch her."
"You…" I coughed out a bit more blood to clear my throat.
"You think…you can catch her…? You, a human?"
"I can." Rikuo replied confidently.
"If you promise to come when the sakura blooms, I promise won't look into the matter." 'This man…' I thought in slight surprise…surprise at how cunning he had grown to become. When I saw him, I had expected things to work out more easily against this wimp…but it looks like I was terribly mistaken.
"All…I have to do is come…right?"
I mumbled, not even sure myself why I agreed to such ludicrous term. Within the pattering sounds of rain, I could hear the sound of my breaking body. The two sounds were synchronizing into one.
As my body began to fade, Rikuo pulled me closer to him. "It's a promise then." He spoke softly beside my ear as I listened to the sound of his calming heartbeat. I said nothing. I just leaned upon him, my cold, crumbling body absorbing on his warmth.
"You really are…"
My voice trailed off, unable to speak anymore as I felt my energy drained from me. The world before my eyes began morphing, turning into nothing but pure darkness.
You really are…
Someone special