Chapter Eleven

Alice was not sure that she would stay at Hale Designs after all. Jasper kept his word, he didn't make any mention of Mike nor did he refer to Alice's personal life. He was professional and polite, but every so often Alice would catch him staring at her; it was a little unsettling. He would see her look up and then he would smile and walk away. She didn't feel concern for herself, but rather for Jasper; she wondered if it may be better for him if she were just to walk away.

She needed to talk to someone, but she had never told Mike about her and Jasper's relationship. She hadn't meant to keep it a secret, it just never came up. Mike was aware that she had been seeing someone, but he never asked who specifically and she never told him that it was her boss; she felt that it was a little too late to tell him at this point in their relationship. However, it bothered her that he didn't know, and she felt as though she was keeping secrets.

Maybe Renee would be able to give her some advice, Alice thought, but dismissed that idea almost as soon as it came to her mind. Renee was not the most impartial person when it came to her working with Jasper and would probably push her to leave Hale Designs. But the more she thought about it, the more she felt that she had no choice and that she needed to talk to her mother.

"Mom, I need your advice, but I want you to try to be as objective as you can be." Alice broached the subject as she helped her mother get dressed one morning, the cast was due to be removed in another week.

"Sure, baby. I'll try my best. What is it about?"

"Weeell. It's about Mike and Jasper."

"What? What about them."

"Well, I never told Mike that I had been...involved... in a relationship with my boss. It wasn't that I set out to keep it from him, it just didn't come up. And now I feel as though if I don't tell him it's like I'm lying, but if I do tell him, now, it will seem as though I've been lying to him all along. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Yes, of course. So, what brought this on? This need to tell Mike."

"Well, I feel as though, Jasper and I are in a good place. We work well together and we're just co-workers now, strictly professional. But it was a little rough for a while there. He was making some nasty comments about the "boyfriend". I told him to stop, or I'd leave, and he has stopped. But..."

"But?

"Don't get me wrong, Jasper's been great, he has backed off completely, no more comments, but I'm worried. He stares at me, a lot, in this sad kind of way. But I don't want to quit, because of several reasons. First, I promised him I'd stay for my projects, plus I signed contract, I can't work at another design firm. But, I wonder if maybe, I should leave, anyway. Jasper's seems like he's having hard time."

"Seems like you know what to do, so what advice do you need?"

"So, I wanted to know if I should talk to Mike, about quitting, but like I said, he doesn't know."

"You want my honest opinion? Leave the job and tell Mike about you and Jasper."

"What? You seem so sure."

"I am. Leave the job, because Jasper is too much into you, even after talking to him. He may try something down the line, make you uncomfortable. He has no boundaries; look at his track record, he started an affair with a kid, an employee..."

"Mom, that's not fair. I pursued him, I pushed us into this..."

"He's old enough to have known better."

"So was I."

"Well, Alice, I am giving you my unvarnished opinion, which you asked for."

"But why should I tell Mike, if I'm going to leave, anyway. It'll only hurt him."

"Don't keep secrets from Mike, trust him. Even if he's hurt, he'll be there for you. He's a pillar, a rock. You can depend on him."

#

Three days later Mike would be prove to be a pillar of strength for Alice and Bella, just as Renee had predicted. In the midst of their whirlwind romance and wedding planning, tragedy unfolded. Alice was at work in her office on a rainy Friday evening when a crying Bella called her.

Bella was shouting and gasping for air. "Alice, Alice. It's mom. She collapsed in the kitchen and I'm going with her in the ambulance to the hospital. Come quick."

Alice's heart fell to the pit of her stomach and she felt cold and hot all at once. Her legs gave out and she sank to her chair. " Collapse what do you men collapse? What happened Bella? Is she alert? Is she okay?"

"She's unconscious. I don't know if she's okay, Alice. I really don't. All I know is that when I came home she was passed out on the floor." Bella hiccupped and her voice was low and strangled, saying something but Alice could barely understand her words. Then suddenly Bella was crying again, almost howling.

"What hospital? Bella, what hospital are they taking her to?

"I don't know, I think the closest is Merrick. Hurry.

"I'm coming, now. I'm on my way out right now." Alice was panicking too, and shouting into her phone as she grabbed her bag. "Stay with her I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Wait, Alice. The ambulance guy says that we're going to University Hospital, Alice, hurry, hurry please." and she dissolved once again into tears.

"Stay with her, don't leave her side Bella, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Alice tore out of her office and finally reached Mike when she was in a cab heading over the bridge to Berkeley. He told her that he would go immediately to the hospital and meet up with Bella and her mother there. When she hung up she felt a sense of calm. Mike would find out what was wrong and he would make it all okay.

But as soon as she arrived at the hospital she realized it was not going to be okay. When Alice walked into the emergency room at the hospital, she saw the stricken, pale look on Bella's face and knew it was going to be bad. Her gut twisted in pain when she saw Mike holding Bella in his arms. They both opened their arms to envelope Alice into the embrace.

Bella sobbed, "She's gone Alice. Gone. We're orphans. We're all alone." And she bawled into Alice's shoulder.

"What happened? Mike, what happened?" She cried as she leaned her head on his chest. Her heart was aching, twisting, hurting in her chest.

He rubbed her back gently, trying to soothe. "It was a brain aneurysm, Alice. It was sudden. It ruptured and there really wasn't anything the doctors could do to save her. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

The night went by in a blur. Alice and Bella went in and saw their mother, the center of their little family, lying on the gurney in the emergency room. She looked for all the world as though she was sleeping. The only strange thing was the stillness of her chest. The absolute stillness of her body. Alice crawled into the bed with her mother and reached over and hugged her neck and kissed her still warm cheek. "Oh mom. Why did you have to leave me? I need you here, mom. I need you." and she cried like a baby. She reached for her mother's arm and tried to wrap it around her so that she could get one last hug; but Renee's arm slipped away.

#

Alice had no idea how she made it through the next week. She and Bella were almost catatonic with grief. Thankfully Mike was there and he helped them to handle all of the arrangements. The sisters knew that Renee would never have wanted a fancy funeral and they held a quiet memorial service at St. Mary's church in her honor. They only invited her most beloved friends, her closest co-workers and dearest clients. After the service, Bella and her boyfriend Chris, Alice and Mike circulated among the mourners, thanking them for coming. Alice held fast onto Mike, not wanting to let him go. They moved from group to group accepting condolences and giving hugs. Alice was surprised when she saw Jasper, James and Charlotte. How they found out about the memorial service, Alice had no idea.

"Mike, these are some of my co-workers; Jasper Hale, my boss and the CEO." She said.

Mike shook Jasper's hand and smiled, "Thanks for coming." He said.

"And this is Charlotte Cross." Mike shook her hand and smiled, Alice saw Charlotte swoon a little. Yes, Mike had that effect on many women.

"And this is James Hunter my assistant."

Mike shook his hand. "Alice has told me about you, and your music. She says you're a wonderful guitarist."

James smiled, "Thanks for the praise, Alice." He and Mike talked about his gig and Alice, still clutching Mike's hand, spoke to Charlotte.

"Thanks for coming, Charlotte. That was very sweet of you. How did you know where? I'm sorry but I didn't even think to call."

Charlotte nodded her head in Jasper's direction. "Jasper found out. He told us and James and I wanted to be here. For you."

Tears came to Alice's eyes, "Thank you." And she hugged Charlotte with her free arm, still clinging to Mike with her other hand. She thanked Jasper again for coming, and then she moved on to other people. She felt his eyes on her the whole time.

Renee was cremated and her ashes were mixed with those of their father. Alice and Bella decided to keep the urn in the living room, neither of them were ready to scatter the ashes as their mom had requested. They would do that at a later time, when they would be able to cope with the final farewell.

#

Mike and Alice flew to Shreveport on the following Thursday and drove to his hometown. Alice finally met the family that she'd only spoken with over the phone, her new family. They welcomed her with open arms. Mike's mom, Millie, who gave her a long hug, and told her how sad she was not to have met Renee but how much she had enjoyed their conversations over the phone. She supported Alice and Mike's decision not to postpone the wedding, echoing what Bella and Mike had said to Alice, "Renee would have wanted you to get married as planned." Alice felt a little better hearing those words from Millie.

Alice had been concerned that they may have worried about her and Mike getting married so soon, but when she met them, Mike's mother and father were brimming with joy. They had no qualms about the suddenness of the wedding. They themselves had met in medical school and married within three short months. Daniel, Mike's father said that love is too important to wait on common sense. Alice liked him immediately.

Mike's mom, Millie, was equally supportive. She kissed her son and Alice and joined their hands together in hers. "Perfectly matched." she said. Mike's gram was a lovely lady. Her hair was completely white and her beautiful blue eyes were shiny with tears. She was now confined to a wheelchair but in charge of all her senses. Mike stooped in front of her and she ran her hands lovingly down his cheek. "May God bless you both with many years of happiness." she said to them.

Bella, her boyfriend Chris and Mike's aunt Patty arrived the following evening from San Francisco, Alice and Mike picked them up at the airport and brought them to his parents' home. Because the wedding was so rushed, the families met for the first time over dinner that night. Alice met Mike's maternal uncle and aunt who were both doctors. Mike's Uncle Bill was semi-retired and lived on a horse farm in Kentucky. His Aunt Trudy was a cardiologist living in Miami.

She also met Dan's family. Dan's sisters still lived in Brooklyn and they had married two Italian-American brothers and Alice met them as well as their children who were Mike's age. The whole extended family went out to dinner at the Italian restaurant which closed its doors for them. There was laughter and joking and all the joy that comes from a large loving family gathering. Alice enjoyed Mike's family immensely and felt right at home. She held back tears all night as she thought about her mother and how much she would have loved her new family too.

Mike and Alice were married the next day. It was a starlit Saturday evening when she walked into the same small chapel that Mike had been baptized in. The chapel was so tiny, it fit only a hundred people. Eight small pews flanked either side of the aisle. The church was lit with a hundred candles and it was magical. Mike wore his tuxedo and Alice caught her breath when she saw him. No man had ever looked as handsome as her man. Alice wore the fitted ivory charmeuse wedding dress that she and her mom had bought in San Francisco. Renee had loved it on her and while at the time she had thought it too much, Alice was happy to wear it now, for Renee. It was simple and elegant. The sheer veil fell her shoulders.

The ceremony was simple and untraditional. Instead of the wedding march they chose the song "At Last" to play as she walked down the aisle, since her father could not be there, Alice didn't want anyone else to walk her down the aisle, so she walked down the aisle alone, looking at Mike the whole time. They had no best man and no bridesmaid. It was intimate and simple and perfect. She and Mike decided to forego another tradition and spoke their vows before the ceremony began.

Mike and Alice turned and held each other in a loose embrace as they spoke their wedding vows to each other. Alice spoke in a clear, soft voice:

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. My beloved spake and said unto me. Rise up my love, my fair one and come away."

Mike responded in his low husky voice: "Thou hast ravished my heart. Thou hast ravished my heart with thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. This is my beloved, and this is my friend. I am my beloved's and her desire is towards me." Mike completed the vows and brought her palm to his lips and placed a kiss there.

Father Brian started the official ceremony, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…."

The ceremony was quick and they left the little chapel as husband and wife. Alice's little family was absorbed into Mike's much larger family and the result was a seamless union. They all danced until way after dark at the only hotel in downtown Alsace, Louisiana. Alice was happy and exhausted. She had been holding Mike's hand for the last six hours and it wasn't nearly enough.

Alice threw the bouquet, which was caught by Bella, who laughingly showed it to Chris. They left the family downstairs and went up to their suite. Mike carried Alice across the threshold and they fell on the bed together. "This was truly perfect." Alice said to Mike. "I really like your family and I think they really, really like me."

"Yes, they do. They are just as smitten with you as I am. You've got a way about you, Alice. You charmed the socks off my dad, I'll tell you that right now."

"Oh well, thank you kindly for sayin' so."

"You're getting the southern accent all right. A few more days here and no one will believe that you're a California girl.

"Well, you know I come by the accent nacherly. My mamma's from 'round these parts. She's from Nawlins, born and bred."

"I wonder why your mamma never came back to Louisiana to be with family after your dad died. Why'd she stay out there all alone?"

Alice caught her bottom lip in her teeth, trying to suppress the catch in her throat, before replying."Renee was her mother's only child. After my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried pretty quickly. Renee never got along with her stepmom, when she left for college she promised herself that she would never return. After my dad died she wouldn't go back, I think she wanted to prove that she didn't need them." Alice could contain it no more and she started to cry. "Plus I don't think she could bear to leave the house where she and Daddy lived. She loved him very, very much."

Mike held her tightly in his arms and kissed her tears away. "You did too. You missed them today, I know."

"Yes. I wish…" Alice caressed Mike's face. "…I wish he could be here to meet you and they could both be here to see how happy I am. I wish they had that chance. I wish I had that chance."

"I'm sure they're here, and that they know." Mike smoothed her hair and kissed her.

"That would be a nice fairy tale ending, wouldn't it?"

"Have faith Alice. There are things we don't know for sure, but we feel to be true. I didn't know if you would love and marry me, but I felt that you were the one for me. And I was right. I don't know if there is a heaven or an afterlife, but I feel as though there is. Otherwise what's the point of living this life, Alice?"

"I don't know. I suppose I lost my faith long ago, when I lost my Dad. I just never could understand why a loving god would be so mean and cruel to us. I begged my mom to take me out of St Mary's elementary, and to put me into public school. I didn't want to hear a thing about god." She remembered sorrowfully, still feeling pity for the lost little girl she had been.

"Alice. People have fragile bodies, they get ill, they make mistakes, sometimes fatal ones. I work with lots of young patients and I lose some. But I always believe that their souls live on. I never accept that this is it. If I thought this was the only life we have, I think I would go crazy."

Alice lovingly stroked his dark sideburns. "I guess that's what makes you such a wonderful person. You can see tragedy time after time and still have faith. I may never get my faith back."

"Yes you will. I promise you, you will." Mike kissed her forehead and her nose, as he stroked her hair from her forehead.

Her arms circled his back and she squeezed him tightly. "You really do love me, don't you? You must love me to spend our wedding night talking about tragedy and death." Alice's heart was aching in her, aching with gratitude that she had found this kind of sweet lover and friend. A wonderful man who loved her so much and whom she loved every bit as much.

"Alice, on our first date you told me that you wanted someone who desired all of you? I remember you said the "good and the bad" of you. Well I want all of it. I want you to share your sorrows and your joys, your worries and your hopes. I want to know all of it. I don't just love your body, I love your mind and your soul, too. Right now, your soul needs me, and I want to be here for you."

At that moment, Alice felt extraordinarily lucky. "Maybe there is a God, he sent me my own angel. Angel Michael." She caressed his cheek and ran her fingers down to touch his perfect lips.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm no angel." he said as he kissed each of her fingertips.

Those chaste little kisses started a fire in her belly, "Mike, make love to me." she urged him. He bent his head and kissed her. His mouth was hot and passionate. His hands roamed her body, until he found the long zipper on the side of her wedding dress, and eased it down. His warm hand slipped in and pressed the bones of her spine down to the swell of her bottom. He pulled her hips into his and his heart raced with the urgent desire to feel his naked body on her and in her softness.

"My sad, beautiful Alice, let me make you happy." Mike eased the narrow straps of her dress off her shoulders and rained hot kisses all over her collar bone. He kissed the curve of her luscious breasts that swelled over the edge of her lacy bra. He kissed her until the ache in him became almost painful. Alice had the ability to make him go a little wild with desire.

In the meantime Alice's hands were busy undoing his black tie and buttons of his tuxedo shirt, reaching hungrily inside to touch his chest and belly. "Darling, I love you, so very much." Her warm palms caressed him as her thumbs teased his flat nipples.

"I love you too. More than anything." Mike was almost bursting with need, and he stood up and pulled her off the bed and quickly stripped them both of all their clothes. He reached for her and they held each other close. Then Mike laid her gently back on the bed. His eager tongue lapped at her nipples while his fingers moved between her thighs and stroked her warm wet nub, until she moaned out loud. He whispered to her how beautiful she was and how much he adored her. She told him how much she loved him and would always love him, and when they came together, it was like nothing else either of them had ever felt before.

Alice shook with tremors as Mike's body reached to the core of hers again and again. Her mind, body and spirit were all wrapped up in Mike. She thought of nothing and felt nothing but him. No past, no pain, no sadness, just the joy of being one with him. His breath on her lips was heaven and his silken body moving in her was all she wanted. Her orgasm came hard and fast, the overwhelming electricity caused her body to bend and her knees clamped around Mike's waist. When he felt her release he let himself go too, falling with her over the edge to a shared bliss. The waves of pleasure that washed over them were intense and mind-blowing. In minutes they were fast asleep in each others' arms.

The next morning they said good-bye to their families and flew back to California to enjoy a four day honeymoon in Napa. Mike had to get back to the hospital by Thursday afternoon.

#

Before her mother had died, Alice had almost fully moved into Mike's condo. But when they returned from their honeymoon, Alice was reluctant to leave the house that she had grown up in. As she packed the last of her clothes in her suitcase and prepared to leave the purple Victorian she felt a stab of loss. It would be left empty for a few months until Bella graduated and moved back home, if that was what she intended to do. She hadn't made up her mind yet.

Memories of her parents together, she and Bella as children, and most of all her mother, haunted her as she went through the house and shut the windows and locked the door. Alice lingered on the porch and stared at the neighbors' houses on the street she had grown up on.

For most new brides in her position this would be the closing of a door and the opening of another but she was well aware that the closing of this door was more significant for her. Her parents were gone and once she left this house, the life she had known would be hers no longer. Ever. She would not be able to come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. She would not be bringing her newborn to visit his grammy and gramps. Once the door was shut, it would remain shut on all her past and her ability to revisit would be gone forever. The thought of leaving her house was as sharp as a knife wound to her still grieving heart. She sat on the porch swing and made a decision. She called her husband.

#

The Saturday after they returned from their honeymoon, Mike closed up his condo and the movers trucked his dark mahogany bed and bedroom furniture and clothes into the purple Victorian in the Berkeley Hills.

They moved the twin bed and dresser that she'd had since childhood into the attic and Mike's big wooden bed and furniture were placed into her bedroom. Fortunately, her room was no longer the pepto bismol pink it used to be when she was little; when she moved back home she had repainted it a light, buttery yellow. The color was soft and airy and the room was perfect for the newlyweds. French doors led to the back deck that ran across the width of the house.

Bella's bedroom was on the other side of the house adjacent to the bathroom, and her French doors also opened onto the back deck. The deck led down to the backyard and garden that her mother had loved. Full of roses and scented flower beds it had been Renee's pride and joy. Alice made a note to herself to hire a gardener the following week so that the backyard would not become overgrown. Neither she nor Bella were committed gardeners like their mother had been.

Alice called Bella and told her that she and Mike would be living at home and Bella was ecstatic. She confessed that she did not want to live there alone, but could not face leaving it locked up either. Bella promised to come home the following weekend to help sort out their mother's clothes and send stuff onto Goodwill, as their mother would have wanted. Alice knew that she had made the right decision and that night she and Mike talked about their future. They had talked before about wanting children sooner rather than later and Mike agreed that the Victorian was the ideal place to start a family. He was willing to rent out his condo and they could save up to buy a bigger house later on.

#

Alice returned to work the following Monday as she had promised Jasper. They met with Zaragoza in Jasper's office to go over the latest blueprints and everything seemed to be going according to plan. The following day, she and Jasper met with James, Willow and Aleksandr in her office. Willow spotted the wedding photo of her and Mike and picked it up off her desk.

"So that's the husband! Mmm, he's hot and hunky."

Jasper's head snapped up and his eyes flashed and bored into hers and Alice was unable to look away. For moments on end, their eyes were locked together; Alice flushed, realizing that the others had fallen silent, looking from her to Jasper and back again. There were quite a few seconds of uncomfortable silence until Jasper finally spoke.

"Well, I want to offer my congratulations, Mrs. D'Souza. I hope you'll be very happy."

"Thank you, Jasper." The others murmured their well wishes and the awkward moment passed. The moment, though, was confirmation to anyone in the room who had ever doubted it, that she and Jasper had been much more than just colleagues.

After the meeting Jasper made it a point to speak to her privately.

"I meant it Alice, I wish you the best. You look radiantly happy."

"I am, Jasper, I truly am. Mike makes me completely and utterly happy. The only sad part is that my mother isn't here to see how her happy prodigal daughter is." She shook her head and smiled, holding on to a little hope that her mother knew.

"Well, I'm happy, that you're happy. I never got to talk to you at your mother's memorial, but I wanted to tell you that my prayers were with you and Bella. I know what a wonderful mother she was and I'm sorry that you lost her so soon."

Her throat tightened, but she mamaged to get her thanks out. "Thanks, Jasper. That means a lot to me."

"Anyway, some of the staff were thinking of giving you an after wedding shower. They weren't sure about giving you a shower before because it was so close to your mother's funeral, they weren't sure if it was appropriate. But I said that I would approach you and ask if it would be okay."

"Thanks so much Jasper, I really appreciate the sentiment, but I don't really want a bridal shower, I wouldn't feel comfortable. Mike and I have everything we need." She smiled. "They should probably save it for my baby shower."

Jasper tensed, "You're pregnant? That's why you rushed into marriage with him?" He burst out.

"No, no. I'm not pregnant, not yet. I'm just saying that they can save the celebration for another time. In the future. And, Jasper, just so you know, I married Mike for love, pure and simple."

"Right. Well, I'll tell my secretary. She was the one who wanted to organize something."

"I'll talk to Charlotte myself, Jasper. There's no reason for you to be the go-between." Alice was effectively cutting her last intimate tie with Jasper. He knew it and he looked as if he wanted to say something more, but instead he turned on his heels and left her office.