A warrior who finds nothing worth dying for is not to be considered fit to live.

- The Krutt Magnar, Krogan Way of the Warrior

Alright.

His keen mind leapt into action. Rescue Williams, Alenko, and the salarian squad, blow up the geth, fly off into sunset. Defeat Reapers. Meet supermodel. Live for another eighty years. This would be easy. Everything was always so easy for him.

He was very smart, accustomed to making decisions quickly. He dissected his obstacles, the time allotted, the potential layout of hostiles along both routes and it took him barely a second. He went over them again, aware that he was wasting time but unwilling to accept the truth that was staring him in the face. Then he did it a third time, just to be sure, aware that the silence was lengthening. The sky was very blue, as blue as his eyes, and it stared down at him, empty, and endless, uncomprehending, unfairly beautiful. A light breeze sailed over the tree tops beyond the compound walls, a fragrant counterpoint to the warmth of the sun on his face. He could see the sea beyond the walls of the compound and the trees. He loved the sea. Seeing it always calmed him, reminded him of all the good things left in the galaxy. He tried not to look at it now.

He couldn't do it. It was a devastating realization, he had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep his mind from reeling. He couldn't save everyone. It had never been like this before, he'd lost people in the heat of battle, to things no one could predict. You couldn't tell where every bullet was going to be or save your men from every grenade. Sometimes you lost people, that was a part of war he had accepted.

But it had never been like this. It had never been a simple matter of not being good enough, smart enough, to do what needed to be done to. It was unimaginable. But once he accepted it, once he moved past it, something that took only moments despite the way it felt as though god himself had reached down out of the empty sky and planted a savage blow across each cheek, he knew what he had to do. He always knew what he had to do. It wasn't even really a decision. There was only one thing he could have ever really done.

"Alenko," could that really be his voice, so firm and patiently realistic? It sounded hollow in his ears. He tasted blood from his aching cheek on his tongue and felt a sudden, powerful urge to vomit that he suppressed with such force of will that it didn't even make his voice quiver. "Radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the AA tower."

The lieutenants' answer didn't even register. The world was very quiet, all he could hear was Ashley's voice in his ear. The tree tops rippled like the sea as the wind touched them. Williams was so earnest it was making his ears hurt to listen to her, completely convinced he was making the right decision, not hating him for it at all. He wished he could be as understanding as her, as compassionate.

He wished more than anything that he had something to say to her. Something meaningful. He wished he could say he was sorry, but he wasn't and lying to her at a time like this wasn't an option. She always knew when he was lying, and he couldn't be sorry for making the right decision.

For the first time in his life Shepard wished he were smarter. For the first time he felt his years, or the absence of them at least. He didn't know how to react, what to say. He reached into himself and came up with air. None of his jokes were funny at this moment. He was forced to cobble together something, so he went with the old words, passed down in one form or another from commander to soldier since the dawn of the military.

"Fight hard chief," his thoughts twisted around each other in tangles, meaningless. "Die well."

He turned to go, springing back into action on reflex. His mouth was full of blood, but he left all other traces of that moment behind. He could hear gunfire coming from the courtyard they had just left, high and clear in the clean air, and her answer whispered in his ear.

"Aye, aye sir."

A/N: I said no in-game scenes, but I couldn't think of a better way to frame this moment. Sorry if it bothers people! I tried to keep the copy/paste dialogue to a minimum. This is the only time I'll do it like this, promise!