Summary
Deidara believes he's found his soulmate. Kagome feels as though she's missing something very important. Sasori just wants the blonde to stop wasting his time. Too bad Itachi's already staked his claim...
A/N: I know you've all been very patient, so, I want to thank everyone that has reviewed this story. I know a lot of you have been waiting for this, so here it is! For those of you that have wondered, I don't hate Deidara. He's a fun, dramatic, crazy Akatsuki guy. I just happen to like Itachi better. This chapter was very hard for me to put together; mostly because I kept scrapping ideas left and right. But, I think I've contributed something satisfying. Anywhoozles, on with the chapter! Fixed the bit with Deidara's weird speech pattern.
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The day Kagome met Deidara was a day for the record books. Itachi hadn't ever had a time when he wanted to kill the blonde more than on that day. Sighing, he recalled the events that lead up to the disasterous moment. Really though, he'd have easily given anything, except Kagome, to have that memory completely eradicated from his mind.
Their day had started out normally enough... Well, if you call living with a bunch of S-class criminals normal.
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"The three of you will embark on this mission. It's time to begin gathering the other tailed beasts," Pein announced, carelessly throwing a scroll at an inattentive Deidara's head. It bounced off the blonde, and he muttered something ugly under his breath as he picked it up. "Head to Stone. From there, Deidara will navigate the terrain. The scroll contains the details of the mission. When you are finished memorizing it, burn it." With a wave of his hand, he dismissed the three ninja and turned in his cushy chair to read a report.
"One question, Leader-sama?" Sasori grunted, tilting his head curiously and regarding Itachi, "Why is Itachi coming with us? Why not send him with Kisame to another possible location?"
"Kisame is doing some other work for me. And you will need a strong genjutsu user to infiltrate Lightning Country," the orange haired man answered, staring down his subordinates with darkened Rinnengan eyes, "Is that all, Sasori?"
"Yes sir." The red head turned and left the room, pulling a protesting Deidara along with him. Itachi brought up the rear sedately. He just knew that this was going to be one of those missions from hell.
It turned out he was right. It was hell. In a handbasket.
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"Did you have to blow up that base, you fool?" Itachi groused, glaring at the blonde and dusting off his Akatsuki cloak. The soot was still stuck to him and he felt distinctly grimy. He really wanted to take a bath.
"Don't be such a jackass, jackass!" Deidara huffed, grinning smartly and thumping his chest, "You're so dull, Itachi! You never show any kind of artistic flare! That's the problem with you! You live your life so... square, yeah!" Itachi sent the bombs expert a deadpan stare. He had no idea what the hell the moron was talking about.
"And by square you mean... what, exactly," Sasori replied, seeing as the Sharingan user wasn't going to ask. Granted, he really felt he wsa just wasting his time, but he also found it amusing whenever Itachi would finally decide to get off his Uchiha high horse and start pummeling Deidara into the ground.
"Basically, he doesn't take any kind of risks! He makes no room for error or surprises, therefore, he's square, yeah!" the Iwa missing nin declared, smirking as he watched the normally unflappable Itachi Uchiha twitch murderously. As wild and dramatic as he acted, Deidara wasn't as stupid as he let the others think he was. Kisame was probably the only one that knew the former heir better than himself. Since the day he'd met the stoic young man, the blonde had taken to finding out everything he could on the Uchiha; if only to figure out a way to get the upper hand in battle. And the blonde knew, for a fact, that the Sharingan user had been acting off for almost a year now.
'Ever since he mentioned that girl that one time, he's been different. I know that he's been hiding it from the others, but that girl certainly does exist!' he thought, stepping around and putting his partner in between him and the homocidal Uchiha glaring furiously at him, 'His emotions are closer to the surface. He's lost his cool more times in the past few months than I've ever seen in the past 4 years I've known him. That girl... I wonder if she knows she's got someone as dangerous as Itachi practically wrapped around her little finger.'
Itachi, for his part, systematically locked away every emotion swirling in him to the best of his ability and reigned in the urge to pound his idiotic teammate. If Deidara only knew about the current risk he was taking, well, he'd probably blow himself up in shock. It was a well-known fact that he didn't like the former Iwa nin very much. Add his insistent need to be showy and dramatic compared to the Uchiha's need to be discreet and undetectible, and things usually blew up in their faces when they were forced to work on missions together.
Hence the annihilation of the base they'd infiltrated.
"Regardless," Itachi finally stated, ice coating his words, "there was no need to make such a showy getaway. I'm rather surprised that we managed to lose those ANBU trackers near the borders." He turned and pinned the annoyed blonde with a Sharingan enhanced glare. "Should you feel the need to do something so ridiculous, do so on your own time." With that, the dark-haired male began to make his way back to the base.
'Translation for Uchiha-speak: Don't screw up like that again, moron. You're lucky I saved your ass,' Sasori thought, sending his partner a blank glance to gauge the blonde's reaction. As was per usual, Deidara was seething angrily, hatred clearly visible in his eye. The bomb's expert should have known better. After all, Rule number 1 when dealing with Itachi Uchiha was to not make Itachi Uchiha angry at you. In normal circumstances, you ended up dead. Of course, they had something of diplomatic immunity to the former heir's infamous temper. Leader-sama had forbidden them to kill eachother unless it was for an extremely good reason.
The first thing Itachi had tried when he joined the Akatsuki was attempt to obliterate Orochimaru for trying to take over his body. Pein had actually let that one slide, oddly enough, seeing as he'd been rather furious with the snake sanin himself. Itachi had only been fourteen when that happened and was already considered a force to be reckoned with. Apparently, he'd spent a year running around the nation after he left his village "taking care of some things for his former clan", whatever that meant.
"I hate you, Uchiha!" Deidara spat out, bringing Sasori back to the present.
"Trust me, the feeling is mutual you blithering idiot," Itachi replied, ignoring the angry noises coming from his teammate.
"... Don't you two ever stop?" Sasori sighed, shaking his head when he got no response.
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"Leader-sama won't kill us if we stop and get some tea, yeah!" Deidara hissed, throwing another lethal glare at his companions.
"No, but I might," Itachi muttered, giving as good as he got and glaring right back at the blonde.
"It's a waste of my time, Deidara," Sasori added, giving he flamboyant blonde a black look, "I can't drink tea."
"Maybe you shouldn't have tured yourself into a puppet, then," the bomb's expert sniffed, "It's not my fault, yeah. Besides, living forever is so overrated. When I die, I'm going out with a big bang."
"Not if I turn you into a bloody smear on the street first," the Uchiha countered, cracking his knuckles menacingly. His cool demeanor having long deserted him, he was ready to go back to base, report their findings, and throttle the blonde. Not necessarily in that order either. Then he wanted to go see Kagome, maybe work on some more taijutsu with her, and go over a few more ways she could manipulate her impressive chakra. She called it spirit energy; he just thought it was amazing. The things she would be able to accomplish when she had the right kind of training almost made him giddy with joy.
It was strange; if someone had told him about a year ago that he would be excited about taking on a student, he would have told them they were insane and killed them for their insolence. Now, however, he could completely understand. It was his way of helping. Kagome would learn to defend herself in every way he could teach her, thereby laying most of his worries to rest in order to concentrate on the blooming feelings he was rapidly developing for the young priestess.
"Well, I'm not leaving until we get some damn tea!" Deidara argued, crossing his arms and glaring at his two fellow Akatsuki members. Itachi barely restrained the urge to roll his eyes. The blonde was such a... a...
"Petulant child," he muttered out loud, pushing past the angry missing nin and glancing around. He knew, for a fact, that there was an out-of-the-way tea shop nearby, and started in the general direction of the White Lotus Tea Shop. "Let's just get this over with."
Deidara looked smug. Sasori looked ready to murder. Itachi just wanted his new headache to go away.
A few minutes later, the three S-Class criminals were stepping into a quaint shop. The bell chimed, indicating customers, and one of the girls, dressed in a soft green kimono with a white obi, led them to a table. As the hostess seated them, she informed them that their server would be with them shortly and scurried quickly back up to the front when the bell rang again.
"Well... Isn't this cute, yeah," Deidara murmured, getting an annoyed glance from Itachi. Sasori harrumphed quietly aned smacked the blonde on the back of the head.
"Shut up, Deidara. At least you're getting you're damn tea," the redhead hissed, folding his arms back in his sleeves and leaning back against the booth, "Have you been here before, Itachi?"
"A few times, and very infrequently," the Sharingan user admitted quietly. He didn't want anyone to overhear any possible conversations, "No one here would recognize me. Plus, Konan recommended it." The other two men nodded, knowing that their lone female member took a small amount of pride in finding tea houses that she considered worth going back to.
"Good afternoon. I'm sorry about your wait, gentlemen," a voice the Uchiha knew all too well chimed cheerfully next to him, and it took every ounce of willpower he possessed to not suddenly whip his head around to face the girl. It just had to be her!
'Why is Kagome here?' Itachi thought, panic momentarily seizing his brain as they acknowledged the priestess. He knew hat the girl worked in a tea shop, but he hadn't realized it was this one! In some, still functioning part of his mind, he noticed Deidara straighten up in his seat and pay very close attention to the server girl. 'Nice going, Uchiha. Open mouth, insert foot.'
"It's no problem. You server girls must be busy, yeah," the blonde waved off the pretty dark-haired girl's apology, sending her a mischievous grin, "I bet I could keep you really busy though."
"My name is Kagome and I'll be taking care of your orders today," she continued, ignoring the last comment while trying to suppress the urge to laugh. That had to have been one of the cheesiest pick-up lines she'd ever heard! And that was saying something, because Miroku was the king of cheesy pick-up lines. "Is there anything I can get started for you?"
"You can start-!"
"Green tea, just two," Itachi interrupted the blonde, sending him a discreet glare before continuing by gesturing to Sasori, "He doesn't drink tea. For now, that will be all." Kagome blinked, not used to such a cold dismissal from her friend, before nodding and rembering that she wasn't supposed to know him.
"Of course sir. I'll be back in a few moments."
"Thank you." The moment she left, however, Deidara almost jumped down his throat in righteous anger.
"What is your problem, Uchiha!" the blonde hissed, watching Kagome disappear into the kitchen longingly before glaring at the dark-haired prodigy. The former heir restrained the urge to clock his team mate over the head with something heavy. He despised the look on the other member's face.
"The woman is merely doing her job, fool, and watching you blurt out ridiculous lines like that is not within my current realm of patience," Itachi replied as cooly as possible, leaning back in the booth and closing his eyes almost wearily, "or ever, for that matter." Damn, but his head hurt! He never wanted to go on another mission with Deidara again.
"Did you not see her, danna! She was absolute perfection, yeah!" The bomb's expert turned excitedly to his red headed partner to see him nod in agreement, "Like an angel that fell straight from the heavens to grace us with her presence, yeah. Big blue eyes, sunkissed skin, long pretty hair, boobs out to-!"
"She was lovely, but I've still seen better," the puppet master interrupted, noticing out of the corner of his eye that the Uchiha's shuriken hand was starting to inch towards his secret weapons stash. Interesting reaction.
Itachi grit his teeth and almost decided to sit on his hands. If he wasn't careful, he was going to maim Deidara and set Sasori on fire. Now he could understand why some men got jealous when the girl they liked got attention from other guys. At the moment, he was green with envy.
"Those damn puppets you make don't friggin' count, yeah. A living breathing girl that looks like that is hard to find!" the flamboyant artist growled out, clearing his throat and becoming the picture of innocence the moment Kagome returned with two cups and a pot of tea. As she set about pouring their portions, Itachi took note that there was a powder in the bottom of his cup. Raising his eyes sharply, he met the priestess's amused blue orbs and discreetly tapped her temple out of the other two missing nin's vision and winked.
'What a clever girl,' the Sharingan user thought, smiling inwardly at the thoughtful gesture on the girl's part. It wasn't everyday that he trusted someone else to give him asprin. Nodding just the tiniest bit, he let her pour tea into his cup and absently thanked her.
"Are you sure I can't get you anything, sir?" Kagome asked, setting her sights on Sasori. The puppet master shook his head in the negative.
"No. I don't need anything."
"I do," Deidara butted in, smiling amiably at the priestess as she blinked slowly.
"Yes sir?"
"I wanted to-!" he was interrupted before he could get out anything significantly damaging. Itachi couldn't have been more thankful.
"Hey Kagome! I just had another person asking to buy that painting you brought in!" another girl, this one with brown hair and sparkling green eyes, bounced up to them, attaching herself to the dark-haired girl's arm unexpectedly. The Sharingan weilder almost twitched. He had no idea that Kagome was so popular with everyone else. Even girls seemed to like her!
"Which one?"
"The one wth the night sky and the big white dog howling at the moon. I still like that other one you brought in too," the girl replied, smiling brightly at the three men listening in to their conversation, "I'm sorry. Kagome's our resident artist here, and she has such pretty paintings. If you're interested, you should take a look at some of her work!" With that, she flounced off happily to get back to her tables.
"Yume! Stop pimping me out to my customers!" Kagome hissed to the departing girl, a red flush working its' way onto her cheeks. Itachi wasn't surprised; after all, he'd seen several of her canvases and they were well done. Deidara, on the other hand, looked as though Christmas had come early. Even Sasori had started paying more attention. The former heir really didn't like the assessing gleam that had entered the puppet master's eyes.
"You paint?" Deidara asked, temporarily abandoning his plans to woo the cute server in pursuit of a more agreeable subject. Kagome glanced at him uncertainly and nodded.
"Yes. Only recreationally though."
"Well, we seem to have something in common, Kagome-chan!" the blonde replied, wincing slightly when Itachi kicked him in the shin under the table. Whether for the added 'chan' or the comment in general, he wasn't quite sure, "I happen to be an artist as well, yeah!"
"If you call blowing things up art," the Uchiha grumbled quietly. Kagome caught the words and had to suppress a grin at the sulky tone her dark-haired friend was using. It seemed the teen didn't like sharing her attention.
"Hey! Working with clay is art, you idiot!" Deidara countered hotly, glaring over the table at the unmoving Uchiha. Sasori ignored the two in favor of addressing the girl that seemed to be in the middle of the newest arguement. Despite not needing to feel all of his human emotions the same way the others could, he was still curious about a couple of things. Like why Itachi seemed to have developed a protective instinct towards their waitress. Or what this painting looked like.
"I would like to see it, if you don't mind," the red-head stated in a quietly demanding way, drawing Kagome's attention away from the bickering duo and fixing it onto him. Jewel eyes lightened in delight and she nodded as she beckoned him over to a wall. Sasori stood and silently followed her, admiring the painting that she shyly pointed out from afar.
"-and you're just pissed off that Kagome-chan thinks I'm better-looking than you, yeah! Right, Kagome?" Deidara turned to bring the priestess into the conversation. Itachi merely slumped back and discreetly rolled his eyes. The bomb's expert could be so dramatic at times! "Kagome?" He glanced over to where his current love interest was supposed to be... only to find her gone.
'Where is she?' the Sharingan master thought, looking around for a moment before spotting a head of red hair that wasn't sitting at their table like he was supposed to be! Next to him was a petite girl with long dark hair laughing amiably.
"Damn it! Danna moves fast for a puppet guy, yeah!" Deidara hissed, growling in annoyance and snapping his fingers. Itachi almost leapt out of his seat to drag the priestess away from the normally unsociable Sasori. That, however, would not only make him look like a jealous fool, but would give away the secret entirely. It would only be another moment before Deidara would put the pieces together if he acted that rashly.
"Deidara. Shut. Up."
"I'm just sayi-!" The blonde suddenly cut off his train of thought, realizing one extremely important fact. From the moment their server had appeared, the former clan heir had been ridiculously cool and extremely twitchy. It was almost as though he was hiding something that was right under their noses. And, now that he thought about it, he'd seen the occasional glance the dark-haired male had thrown her when he thought no one was watching.
'Is this... Is she "the girl"?' he thought, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully as he stared the Uchiha down intently. Itachi, for his part, was starting to get twitchy again the moment his partner had stopped talking and just... looked at him. A trickle of sweat rolled down the back of his collar and his gaze jumped away from the man sitting across from him-
'Damn him for being unusually perceptive today!'
-only to slide over to check on Kagome again. Deidara chose that moment to suck in a shocked breath, drawing his attention back to the situation at hand.
"What!" Itachi hissed out, glaring dangerously at the flabbergasted blonde.
"She's... She's your girl?" he wheezed out, absolute fear running rampant in his brain. He'd been hitting on Itachi's girl. And he'd been sitting there watching him the whole fuckin' time! Itachi gave him an incredulous look that he didn't even bother to hide.
"What even gives you the remote possibility that-!"
"Don't try to finagle your way out of this one, Uchiha! Just admit it already, yeah!" the bomb's expert interrupted, earning a deadpan stare.
"Do you even know what finagle means, Deidara?"
"Of course I do! What, do you think I'm an idiot or something?" he replied, outrage coloring his quiet tone before adding quickly, "and stop changing the subject, damn it! Is she, or is she not?"
"What?" the other missing nin snapped out, trying desperately to keep the situation under control.
"YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" he shouted. Immediately the entire establishment was silent as the grave. Kagome turned slowly to face the other two men, a delicate flush creeping onto her cheeks that Sasori didn't fail to notice. His niggling curiosity had proven him right. So, this really was Itachi's girl? The bastard was damn lucky.
"... Outside. Now," Itachi clipped out, setting out the correct change for their tea and rising fluidly, dark anger rolling off of him in waves. Deidara swallowed. He knew he'd overstepped his boundaries this time and rose to silently follow the sinister Uchiha out the door. Sasori sighed almost imperceptibly and glanced over at Kagome.
"Well, I better go make sure they don't kill eachother. It's a rule that we're not allowed to, but Itachi might decide to disregard it... again." With that, the puppet master left a shockd priestess behind and swept out the door after his two team mates.
A moment later, Kagome was throwing her apron at one of the other girls and bolting out the door. She had to make sure no one was going to die today.
What, exactly, did Sasori-san mean by "again"?'
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"Listen, I know I caused a scene, yeah, but that doesn't mean you need to be so upset about this," Deidara babbled, unknowingly ticking off the Uchiha even more, "Its okay to like some girl. Hell, I'm proud of you, Uchiha! I don't have to worry about the possibility of you being-!"
"Finish that sentence and I will set you on fire!" Itachi hissed, whirling around to face the blonde with blazng Sharingan eyes, "and I'll start wth your hair!" Deidara whimpered and clutched the long blonde strands defensively.
"It's unusual to see you overreact, Itachi. It's even more surprising to see that it's over something as small as a girl," Sasori interfered, stepping between the two men, "You must realize that we are curious."
"Why don't you take your curiosity, Sasori, and shove it up your-!"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Itachi Uchiha!" a feminine voice that reminded him sharply of his mother snapped before Kagome flung herself inbetween him and his other two fellow members.
'Hell. This is what hell is supposed to be like, isn't it?' Itachi thought, gritting his teeth and leveling his glare at the priestess.
"Turn around. Go back inside. Now." He really wanted her to listen, for once.
"No!" she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and standing her ground, "Just because they know who I am does ot mean you get ot beat them up. In fact, you didn't react this badly when I met the others!" Deidara stood agog, watching the scene unfold in disbelief. This small woman was standing up to Itachi Uchiha! And living! His brain caught up with the conversation a few seconds later.
"Wait! What others?" the blonde snapped, glaring angrily at the Sharingan weilder, "Are you telling me everyone else knew about her before me and danna!"
"I already knew, Deidara. I was just cementing the facts," Sasori defended lazily, not even twitching when his partner turned rabid eyes onto him, "Hidan told pretty much everyone."
"... I'm going to kill him," Itachi decided a moment later, "It will be painful, it will be bloody, and it will feel amazing."
"Like sex?" Deidara put his two cents in helpfully.
"Yes. Like se-! WHAT?" the former heir started, blanching visibly when the Iwa nin's words caught up to him. Kagome coughed delicately and blushed while suppressing the urge to laugh. She snorted instead. Itachi sent her an almost helpless look.
"Sorry. It's just... the look on your face was priceless, Itachi," the former time traveler giggled helplessly, turning away from the men to try and contain herself.
"It's true, yeah. You walked right into that one, Uchiha," Deidara sighed, shaking his head in a semi-dramatic fashion.
"Besides, Hidan would probably get off on the pain alone," Sasori supplied, making Kagome suddenly gag.
"Ewww! Too much information," the dark-haired girl muttered, "I think I need some brain soap."
"The mental image is rather scarring," Itachi grumbled, rubbing his eyes as his Sharingan finally faded and letting his anger go. It just wasn't worth it anymore. "This is Kagome. She's not my girlfriend, but she is someone I have a very high opinion of."
'Translation for Uchiha-speak: I love her, you fools, and if you lay one finger on her, I'll gut you with salad tongs,' Sasori thought, catching Deidara's eye and nodding imperceptibly. The blonde gulped quietly and thanked every god that was currently in his favor for the fact that Itachi seemed more concerned with Kagome's safety than taking out revenge on him. He'd still sleep with the light on over the next couple of weeks.
But then, he really couldn't resist one last jibe.
"So, Kagome-chan, what's say you and I have a date night, yeah? I'll pick you up around seven?"
Itachi twitched in fury and flipped through the hand signs for his infamous Fireball Jutsu. Deidara ran for his life a few seconds later.
Kagome sweatdropped and glanced at Sasori. "He doesn't really learn, does he?"
"No. He doesn't." He was going to enjoy being around this girl. If only for the sheer fact that she drove someone as focused as Itachi to distraction.
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A/N: I love making blondes smart. They don't deserve their bad rep. I know this one girl that I graduated from high school with that was the smartest girl in the class. And, yep, you guessed it, she was blonde. So, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, because it was sheer hell to write. I just could not get it to paper! It took me several sittings to get this to work.
Deidara is a fun character to write, but surprisingly hard to keep in character. I didn't want to portray him as a complete idiot, because he merely lacked all the information to put the pieces together correctly. Sasori, on the other hand, seems intelligent enough to be able to properly read emotions. Even stunted ones from crazy Uchihas trying to keep secrets.
Again, thank you all for your patience. I hope this was worth the wait. Don't forget to review!