One Night Stand

(Chapter Seven: Family)

It was just past eight when Olivia opened her eyes. She yawned and stretched as she moved across the room to peer down at little Isabella in the bassinette looking up at her.

"Good morning sweetheart," she whispered picking the baby up and kissing her tenderly.

Olivia laid her across the foot of the bed and changed her diaper, then sat in a chair in the corner of the room to nurse the baby.

"At least one of us got some sleep last night," she said softly looking into her daughter's little brown eyes. "Mommy loves you both so much. Yes, I do. I didn't exactly plan to be a mommy. Part of me never really thought I would be. Then I found out I was having a baby. I was shocked and scared, but there has never been a moment that I haven't loved you both or that I regretted a second of this. I want to be a good mommy for you and Sophie. I'm not so sure I am good at it, I still have so much to learn about taking care of babies. But I promise you, Isabella, that no matter what I will always love you and sissy. I will do the very best that I can to make a happy and healthy life for you both and you girls always come first. You have a mommy and a daddy who both love you girls very much. And daddy and I would do anything for you, both of you. Things have been a little crazy around here lately and I know we are all still trying to get used to each other. I feel like I barely know you girls. But, I love you. I love you and Sophie more than I ever thought I could ever love anyone. And everything that I have done from the moment I found out I was pregnant, everything I will do for the rest of my life, is for you girls. Mommy loves you, angel."

Olivia rocked her daughter a little then burped her and carried her into to the nursery to change her. In the few weeks Elliot had been staying with her, he had decided they wouldn't take down the nursery. Instead, he bought a twin sized bed and put it in the room with the crib. His intention had been to find a place of his own as soon as he could, but they had been so busy taking care of their new twin daughters that he hadn't really had a chance to look.

Olivia tapped softly on the bedroom door then pushed it open to see Elliot's bed still made up neatly. She smiled softly and carried Isabella to the changing table to dress her for the day.

"Daddy must have gotten up early with Sophie," she said softly kissing Isabella's little feet before tucking them into her sleeper.

Olivia grabbed a second sleeper and a diaper and carried Isabella into the living room to help Elliot with Sophie. She smiled down at the baby in her arms as she stepped into the room. The sight she saw when she got there just about made her cry.

Elliot was stretched out sleeping on the sofa on his back and curled up on his chest with her little head nestled tight under his chin, was little Sophie sleeping soundly. It was the most adorable thing she had ever seen in her life and she smiled as she felt her tears rise. Elliot was such an amazing father and she couldn't have found a better daddy for her girls if she had tried.

Olivia took a deep breath and kissed Isabella once more.

"What do you say we let daddy and sissy sleep and you can help mommy make some breakfast?"

Isabella stretched and grunted as she looked up at her mother as if agreeing with her. Olivia stepped back into the nursery and got one of the bouncy seats. She sat it on the kitchen counter and strapped Isabella into it, turning her so she could see what was going on. She opened the refrigerator door and stared inside for a few moments at the practically empty shelves.

"Not much to pick from. Mommy needs to do some grocery shopping. Scrambled eggs it is," she said pulling a dozen eggs out and sitting them on the counter.

She opened the cabinet and started the coffee as she scrambled up two plates of eggs for she and Elliot. She took Isabella from the seat and carried her back into the living room putting her into the baby swing and gave her a pacifier. Olivia returned to the kitchen to make them each a cup of coffee then knelt at Elliot's side.

"El?" she whispered softly as his eyes opened. "Good morning," she said with a smile. "I made coffee."

"Coffee sounds great," he whispered careful not to wake little Sophie.

"Your bed is made. Did she get you up early?"

"We didn't quite make it to bed last night. She got fussy anytime I tried to move her, so we both fell asleep right here."

Olivia smiled as she smoothed her fingertips over little Sophie's dark hair and kissed her little head.

"Why don't I move her into the bassinette and give you a little break? When was the lat time she was changed?"

"About two hours ago," he answered pointing to the bottle on the edge of the coffee table. "I found a bottle of breast milk you had pumped, so I went ahead and fed her. I hope you don't mind. I just thought I would let you rest."

"I don't mind. You are so amazing with her. With them both. You always seem to know just what to do."

"I don't know. You just have to kind of figure it out," he said as she carefully slipped their baby girl from his chest and he sat up on the sofa. "I did figure out a little trick though. To help soothe her at night when she is crying and doesn't want to sleep."

"What is that?"

"The aquarium. I laid her against my chest and I leaned back where she could see into it. I know she probably cant see well enough to know what she is looking at, but she likes the lights. Oh, and the hospital across the way. I turned out all of the lights and for a while we just watched the emergency helicopters land on the roof. There were three last night and they all had flashing lights. Red and blue, like our squad cars. She loves the lights. After that she was content. She wasn't asleep, but she wasn't crying anymore either. A little while later I laid down here with her and just held her. I gave her the pacifier and cuddled her. I think she just liked knowing I was here. And we both fell asleep."

"Wow, you had a long night. Did you remember to call Cragen?"

"I did."

"What did he say? I know things are still pretty awkward since everyone found out the girls are yours."

Elliot smiled and took a sip of his coffee.

"He said he understood perfectly. And for me to take as long as I need. He is being really supportive about the situation. I think he is just glad that you are not in this alone. Not that you ever would have been."

"What do you mean by that?" she whispered with a smile.

"I mean, even if these babies weren't mine, I would be here to help as much as I could. You should know that."

"I do," she confessed, "I guess it is just nice to hear you say it."

Elliot smiled as he stared into her eyes for a moment.

"Izzy and I made breakfast. It's in the kitchen. I'm going to go lay her down. She had a rough night and needs all the rest she can get," Olivia said as she carried Sophie into the bedroom.

She returned a few minutes later as Elliot closed his cell phone.

"I have something I need to do a little later. I was thinking maybe you and the girls could come with me."

"To do what?" She asked sitting down beside him on the sofa as Elliot handed her a plate of food.

"Grocery shop, for one. I think these eggs are the only things in this apartment that are edible."

Olivia laughed.

"You are right about that."

"And I have a thing."

"A thing? And what makes you think I want to do this thing with you?"

Elliot laughed.

"I have an appointment to look at a place. It's not too far from here. I thought maybe you and the babies could go look at it with me and then we could go by work so I can check my messages and pick up a little paperwork. I think I want to take tomorrow off too and spend it here with you and the girls."

"Really?" she asked with a smile. "Where did this come from?"

"Well, I know that things are kind of crazy right now. Kathy didn't exactly take the fact that I fathered your children well. Although that part came as no big surprise. I have been taking the kids for dinner one night a week and for dinner after church on Sundays. I think maybe it is time we introduce them to the girls."

"Are you sure? I am sure by now they have heard all kinds of horrible things about me and the girls."

"No. Kathy is upset, but she is upset with me. Not even upset really. More hurt. I told her that it was a one time thing and she and I weren't even together when we…." Elliot turned around to look at Isabella sleeping in her swing. "Olivia, those babies are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. And I think that in time Kathy will come around. But the kids are their brothers and sisters. And it doesn't matter if she likes it or not, what I do with the kids on my time is my choice. And I want them to get to see their baby sisters. I would also like for you and the girls to start joining us for church on Sunday mornings. I mean, if you would like to?"

Olivia smiled again.

"I would love to. I have never really gone to church. I mean a few times, but not like I should. But I want God to be a part of Sophie and Isabella's lives. And I want the kids to be a part of their lives. I want my children to have a family. They do have a family. A little unconventional, maybe. But it is a family."

"Yeah it is," Elliot replied tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

She smiled and leaned back against the sofa with her coffee mug in her hands.

"It still amazes me."

"What is that?" He asked.

"That something so beautiful could come out of me. Two something's."

"They get it from you," he said smiling at her. "God, Olivia. They are like tiny little doll like versions of you. I bet you looked just like that as a baby."

"I don't know."

"You don't have any pictures?"

"No. There weren't many. My mother wasn't a big picture person."

"Have you called her?"

"No. Why would I?"

"To…tell her she is a grandmother."

"She isn't. You have to be a mother, to be somebody's grandmother."

"Olivia, don't you think maybe this is a good time to try and work things out between the two of you."

"Elliot, up until a year ago I thought we had worked it out. The best we could anyway. And I had accepted that. She was in some twelve step program and we, for the first time in my life actually had a healthy relationship. I had a mother. And it was nice. Then she fell off the wagon. And this time, I am not allowing her to take me down with her."

"Liv, I know she has hurt you in the past."

"Damaged. She damaged me, Elliot. Hurt does not even begin to explain what she has done over the years."

"She hurt you and she damaged you. But you are stronger than that. Liv, you are who you have become because of the things your mother put you through. I am not in anyway trying to justify anything the woman did or didn't do for that matter. But you are a smart, beautiful, strong woman because of the challenges you have faced in your life. If it weren't for her, you wouldn't be here. If it weren't for her, they wouldn't be here. I know it is hard to forgive someone when all they have done is cause you pain. But maybe seeing the girls would help give her the strength she needs to kick the drinking habit once and for all."

"I'm just not ready, Elliot." She looked up at him as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know that I am supposed to forgive her and move on. And I know that I should be the stronger person. She has an illness, a disease and it has greatly effected both of our lives. She can say she is sorry a thousand times and I can say that I forgive her for what she has done, but that doesn't make the words true. I can't let her be around my children the way that she is now. I can't let her hurt and damage my girls the way she did me, with her false hopes and empty promises. When she hurt me, it was her fault. But if she hurts them, that is my fault. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't protect them from pain?"

"I understand exactly what you are saying, Liv. But maybe you could just give her a call. Tell her that she is a grandmother. Tell her that she has a reason to sober up. My father is gone and my mother is dead. She is the only grandparent they will ever have."

"They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. All I want is to love them and protect them from anything that could bring them harm. Unfortunately, one of those things, is their grandmother. I just need a little time to work this all out in my head. Just a little while to let the wounds heal, before I give her the chance to come back into my life. I have not even seen her since a few months before I got pregnant."

"You saw her?"

"Yeah, in the drunk tank. She got wasted and fell off a barstool. When the owner of the bar tried to help her up she screamed and hit him."

"She though he was trying to attack her?"

"Yes. They arrested her and called me to make her bail. When I arrived at the station, their captain recognized me from some work I did with them on some computer crimes cases. He spoke to the bar owner and got him to drop the charges if she signed an agreement stating she wouldn't go to his bar anymore. The entire thing was cleaned up and taken care of in a matter of hours because a cop wanted to help out another cop. My mother never even knew I was there. She was passed out in the cell the entire time I was at the station. Luckily they had the decency to keep it under wraps and the news of Detective Benson's mothers drunk and disorderly charge never got around."

"I'm sorry, Liv. I know this is a tough thing for you to have to deal with."

"She is sick, Elliot. She has been all of my life. She needs help. And I don't want her around my kids until she gets it!"

Olivia folded her arms in front of her and stood from the sofa. She walked over to look out the living room window out across the city as the room grew quiet.

"I'm sorry," she said softly as she looked at him over her shoulder. "I shouldn't have raised my voice to you. You are their father and you should be a part of this decision."

"I support your choices. She is your mother. And you are their mother. The only other person in the world who wants the same things for them that I do. You love them and you want to protect them from getting hurt. I get that. But what worries me is that someday, Serena Benson will be gone. And it will eat at you that you never allowed the girls to have their grandmother in their lives. I know you, Olivia. You want so badly to forgive her. You want so badly to love her and for her to love you, the way she was supposed to all of your life. Somewhere inside, I think maybe she wants the same things. But neither of you know how to work toward them. You have been hurt and damaged. And you are a strong and stubborn woman," Elliot said as she laughed through tears. "I think you get that from her. But you are a fighter. You get that from her, too. You can sit here for the rest of your life being stubborn and waiting for her to make the first move and get help, Olivia. But I am afraid that if you don't take control, take that first step and tell her what she needs to do to make this right….honey, she probably isn't going to figure it out on her own. I think maybe she thinks there are no chances left. Maybe she needs you to tell her what she needs to do to get another chance."

"Maybe you're right," she said softly as she exhaled and stared at her baby girl in the swing. "They deserve everything I can give them. And I would do anything for them. So maybe I should just suck it up and make another attempt. I should put the past in the past and try to make this thing with my mother work. If not for me, then for my daughters. I will talk to her. But I am serious when I say that I do not want her to be a part of their lives until she stops drinking. And I don't want her left alone with them. Ever."

"Okay. You know her better than I do. But do you really think that she would do something to hurt them?"

"Elliot, I don't know what she would or wouldn't do. But I am not going to give her the chance to do anything that could hurt them. Forgiving her is one thing, Elliot. I won't lie, it isn't going to be easy for me to do. But forgetting anything ever happened is not likely."

"You are willing to give her a chance. That chance comes with conditions, but it is a start. You are making the first move. That is a tough thing to do. I know it isn't easy, but you are doing it. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks. Now all I have to do is actually put this plan into action. But that adventure I am saving for another day," she said as she stood up and carried her dishes to the kitchen sink. "This thing today, what time is it?"

"Around one. I was thinking we could go and get the other bassinette. Do a little shopping. Take the girls by work so I can show off my daughters and grab some lunch. Do the thing and then get some groceries before we head home. I will even cook you dinner tonight."

"Wow. You have this entire day planned out."

"I do," he agreed with a smile.

"Is there any time during this busy schedule for me to grab a quick shower while the babies are sleeping?"

"I think we could pencil that in," Elliot laughed.

"I won't be long, I promise. They should both sleep, but if they wake up…."

"We'll be fine, mommy. I have done this a time or two."

"Right," she said with a smile. "Try to let Sophie sleep if she will. I'll try to nurse her when I get out of the shower."

"I've got this."

"Okay," Olivia laughed as she headed down the hallway.

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Elliot parked Olivia's SUV in the parking garage and walked around to the back to pull out the stroller. He unfolded it and pushed it around to the passengers side to help her get the babies out of the car.

"We're not taking their seats in?" she asked looking over at him.

"I figured this way they can stretch out a bit," he replied sitting the diaper bag in the front blocking the leg holes so nobody was in danger of falling out. "Diaper bag, with extra clothes, diapers, burp cloths and a couple bottles of breast milk. I packed it good."

"Yes, you did. Wait, pacifiers?"

"Right here," he said pulling them from the bag.

Olivia laughed.

"You are so good."

"Okay mommy, are you ready for the hand off?"

Olivia stood beside the stroller as Elliot pulled the first baby from her car seat and handed their daughter off to her.

"Sophie," he announced handing Olivia the baby.

"Check," Olivia replied kissing Sophie and laying her into the stroller placing a pacifier in her mouth.

"And Isabella," Elliot said kissing baby number two and handing her to mommy.

"Check," Olivia cooed kissing her daughter as she laid her into the stroller beside her sister and gave her a pacifier as well.

"And the extra blanket."

"Check," Olivia said with a smile as she draped the soft cotton candy pink blanket over the stroller to block the summer breeze from the babies.

"I think we are good to go. I can't wait to introduce them to everyone."

"El, I hate to burst your bubble, but Cragen and the guys came to visit me at the hospital when I had them. They have met the girls before."

"Maybe so, but they have never met them as my daughters."

Olivia looked up from the stroller to smile at him.

"I guess you're right."

Elliot pushed the button to open the elevator doors and helped Olivia push the stroller inside. Fin spotted them the moment they stepped off the elevator and dropped the stack of papers in his hand on his desk to greet them.

"Hey guys. How are they doing?"

"Really well," Olivia said with a smile. "They are both over six pounds now."

"That is great. Do you mind if I…?" he asked as Elliot proudly pulled back the blanket to reveal the two little brown eyed babies staring up at them.

"Look at you guys," Fin cooed as Olivia smiled watching the big tough guy kneel beside the stroller and melt like butter at the sight of the two infants. "They have grown so much. Can I hold one?"

"Sure," Olivia said with a smile.

"I can't even tell them apart," Fin said hesitating to pick up one of the tiny babies.

"Would you like some help?" Elliot asked. "Who do you want to hold?"

"This one," Fin said pointing at one of the baby girls.

Elliot smiled as he picked up the baby.

"This is Sophie," he said with a smile placing his daughter into Fin's arms.

"It has been so long since I held a baby this small. Actually, I don't think I have ever held a baby this small. Ken weighed over nine pounds when he was born. He was never as little as you," Fin cooed bouncing Sophie gently as she grunted.

Just then Cragen spotted them and made a beeline for the stroller.

"My girls are here," he said with a smile as Olivia handed him a baby. "Who is this?"

"Isabella," Elliot announced proudly.

"I don't know how you tell them apart," Cragen said looking from Isabella back to Sophie. "They look identical."

"They are identical," Elliot said with a smile. "But as you get to know their personalities it is much easier to tell them apart. Sophie is more outgoing. She likes to be cuddled and held close. And she will stare up at you and grunt and you swear you can tell exactly what she is saying."

Cragen laughed and smiled.

"Isabella, is a little quieter. But she is always looking around and just taking things in. You can just see her figuring things out and tell how smart she is. She hardly ever cries and she likes when you sing to her. And they are both daddy's girls."

Cragen laughed as he looked down at the baby in his arms.

"I can see that. They are both just beautiful. And they are getting so big, so fast."

"Yes they are," Olivia agreed.

"How is the colic thing coming along?"

"We had a rough night. It will probably take a little getting used to, but we will get it figured out. I just hate that it is so rough on her," Olivia said kissing Sophie's forehead.

Olivia pushed the stroller toward her now empty desk as Fin and Cragen carried around her daughters.

"Are you guys going to be her a while? Munch and Casey are on their way over here from court and I know they would love to see how big the girls are getting," Cragen said.

"A little longer Captain," Elliot said checking his watch. "I actually have an appointment to look at a place a little later and I promised Liv I would buy her lunch. It's the least I can do for her letting me crash on her sofa for the last few weeks."

"You have a bed," Olivia said with a smile. "The room you have to share with two three week olds, but the bed is all yours."

"Hey, I am not complaining one bit about the company."

After lunch Elliot and Olivia went to look at the apartment for Elliot. It was a four bedroom brownstone that had been completely remodeled, not far from Olivia's apartment. And it wasn't for rent, it was for sale.

"What do you think?"

"Elliot, this place is gorgeous. But don't you think it is a little much? Four bedrooms?"

"Four bedrooms. I have kids Olivia. Kids take up space. I also love that it has the privacy fenced yard. Not a big one, but a yard. The terrace, here and off the master bedroom. Three full bathrooms and a laundry room."

"It wont be too much when you don't have the kids? You only get them every other weekend."

"Just stick with me here," he said taking her by the hand as he showed her the apartment once more. "This room, I would fix up for the boys. Dickie and Eli. And this would be my room. Take the master bedroom, since it is bigger and use it for the older girls."

"They wouldn't mind sharing a room?"

"I am bribing them with their own bathroom. Trust me, they will be alright with it."

Olivia laughed.

"And this room an office?" she said turning on the light to look at the fourth bedroom.

"Nursery, for Sophie and Izzy."

"Oh, wow. Look at this closet space."

"Then we have the kitchen and living room. And…" he paused for a moment opening two French style doors into another room.

"A family room."

"Actually, I was thinking maybe we could turn this into your room," he said watching her for a reaction.

Olivia turned around and looked at him.

"My room?"

"This is a family style house, Liv. It needs a family to live in it. It has the space we need to live and be together as a family. Room for the kids, all of the kids. A yard. All it needs is a family. We do so good with them together. I couldn't imagine not being there for every moment with them. Or going a night without kissing them goodnight. Not being there in the mornings when they wake up. I realize you are just a few blocks away Olivia, but not being under the same roof I would miss so much of their moments. I was hoping maybe if I got this place, you and the girls could move in here with me and we could all be a family together in our new place. That was the real reason I wanted you to come here with me today. I actually looked at this place and a couple others last week. But this is the one, it is perfect."

"Elliot, how can we afford this?"

"Well, I the guy who is renting my apartment was thrilled when I offered to sell. You could rent out your place if you don't want to sell. If we move in this month, I figure I'll get this paid off by the time Sophie and Izzy are in college."

Olivia laughed.

"You still have the mortgage on the house in Queens."

"It is paid off next year. Kathy is going to be making part of the payment on that so honestly, it wont cost me much more than the payment on my apartment did. It would actually be cheaper than the cost of the combined payments on both our apartments. We are saving money and we both get to be with our kids day and night. I know this is a lot to think about and I just kind of sprung this on you. But we could do this, we make an amazing team. Please, Olivia. I don't want to live in a different home than my daughters. I have no choice with the other kids. But I am just getting to know the babies."

"El…"

"Think of how much easier this would be with two parents here all of the time. And you have your own space. Your own bathroom, there and new carpet. The terrace and privacy. I can even put on different doors if you want."

Olivia smiled.

"It isn't about the doors."

"What is it about?"

"Just…I mean it is kind of a big decision. Moving in together?"

"Liv, when I told you that I was moving out of the house and I had someone living in my apartment already, you didn't hesitate to ask me to stay at your place."

"That was different."

"How?"

"Well, because we weren't buying a house together."

"We don't have to buy a house together now, if that is not what you want. I will buy the house and you and the girls just live here with me and the other kids when I have them. It is almost the same as if I was paying you child support. I am helping to support my children. Helping to raise my daughters. I am getting to be their father. And I can see them every day."

"Elliot, you can see them anytime you want. It doesn't matter where we live."

"It does matter, Olivia. What if things were different? What if I had a place and the girls lived with me and I let you see them whenever you wanted, but you lived in your apartment and I lived here?"

"That isn't going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Are you seriously considering taking my kids from me now?"

"No, Olivia. I am just saying why not?"

"Because they are my daughters, I should be with them all of the….time." Suddenly she understood exactly what Elliot was trying to say. "It wouldn't be nearly enough and I would miss them like crazy every minute I was away from them. I would go insane," she said softly fighting back tears.

"So would I. I love them too, Liv. I know they spent all of those months inside of you and the first several days of their life alone with you. But I am their father and I would really like the chance to be their daddy, too. I want us to be together as a family. All of us."

Olivia took a deep breath and looked down at the sleeping babies in the stroller.

"I think you are right. I think this is what is best for them. Being with their father and mother and brothers and sisters. I never had a family. I want my kids to have one. And I always want them to be able to see their daddy."

"So you will move in with me?"

"Yes," she said with a soft smile. "I…we, will move in with you. And this place is amazing."

Elliot hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, so much. You wont regret it, I promise."

Olivia smiled.

"Now I just have to talk to someone to put my apartment on the market."

"I know someone," he said with a smile. "And she just happens to be standing in our new living room."

Olivia smiled and laughed.