One Night Stand
(Chapter Nine: Vanished)
It had been three days since their daughter had been stolen with their SUV and no trace had been found of either of them. Olivia had been camped out in the cribs with Isabella refusing to leave or sleep until they caught a lead. Elliot, however, had stopped looking for little Sophie only long enough to make sure that Olivia and Isabella were alright.
He would hold his baby girl and talk to her bouncing her gently as he paced the floor with her and fed her a bottle, allowing mommy the time to shower and change clothes. Then Olivia would take the baby from him, refusing to put her down and Elliot was right back to heading the search for Sophie.
At night Olivia would sit awake in the cribs watching Izzy sleep and waiting for some sort of news as to what had happened to their other daughter. But there had been no news. No one seemed to have any answers for the questions they so desperately needed answered. It were as if Sophie and the vehicle had vanished into thin air.
Posters with the baby's picture announcing a twenty five thousand dollar reward, put up by the city, were posted on ever lamp post and in every store window within a hundred mile radius. Each news broadcast flashed began with the story of the missing baby and volunteers manned phone lines taking information, hoping that someone somewhere would have seen the little girl and would call in the tip that would bring Sophie home. But so far all they had were dead ends.
Elliot sorted through the food the team had ordered form the deli around the corner. He picked up a square Styrofoam container and one of the drinks and headed down the hall toward the cribs. It was after midnight and they were just now ordering dinner for everyone.
"Liv?" he asked softly knocking gently on the door to the room that had now become the temporary property of Olivia and the baby.
The room was small and used to be an office before the remodeling had been done. Now, it held a few file cabinets with information from old cases and a couple of bunks the guys had set up for Elliot and Olivia to have a place to go with the baby. Cragen had a small refrigerator brought in for baby bottles and put an old black and white television in there to allow Olivia a soft light to see to get up with Izzy at night and it stayed on a local news channel that kept replaying the story of Sophie's abduction.
"Hey," she replied looking up at him. "Did they get a lead?"
"Not yet. But they are not giving up," he said peering into the stroller at little Izzy sound asleep. "You have actually got this place looking a little homey. Do you think you guys will be alright in here?"
"Yeah, it is actually working out really well. Now the guys can sleep for a little while in the cribs without the baby waking them up," she said forcing a smile.
"We're not giving up, Olivia. Those people out there are working around the clock to help bring our little girl home."
"I know. And I thank God for all of the help we have gotten here. But I am so afraid, Elliot. It just kills me to know that she could be out there somewhere cold and alone, scared or hurt, crying for me and I cannot help her. I just pray that she is safe and that soon I will be holding her again. Izzy misses her, too."
"They have never been apart this long."
"They have never been apart at all. Not more than a few feet apart anyway. Even in the hospital after they were born they slept in the same bed. The longest they have been apart was the few nights they actually slept in their own cribs. And that only happened about twice. Sophie has never been alone before. And now she is God knows where with out her mommy and daddy and Isabella there to comfort her. Izzy still wakes up and just whines and she looks at me with those little brown eyes like she is pleading with me to bring Sophie home to her. We have to find her, El. I am not sure that any of us could survive if we lost her for good."
"We are going to find her. I wont stop looking until we find her. If I have to knock on every door in this city and personally search every home, I will find my daughter."
"But what if we don't? What if she is gone, Elliot? You heard that news reporter when she asked if we thought the abduction could have been part of a black market baby ring. People steal babies and children and sell them to the highest bidder. Sophie is a healthy three month old baby, that woman said she would probably bring a lot of money on the black market."
"I don't like her talking to you like that. She doesn't know what she is even talking about. She will say whatever gets people to watch her stupid news report and they don't even care if it is all true."
Olivia just stared at him like she wasn't sure what to believe.
"Liv, we have no evidence that someone took her to sell her. Or harm her."
"You're right. We have no evidence at all."
Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Yes," Elliot said turning to look over his shoulder.
"Detective Benson has a visitor."
"A visitor?"
"Yes."
"Who?" Elliot asked.
"Some lady, she says she knows her."
Olivia looked confused for a moment as she leaned forward and peeked out between the blinds to try to catch a glimpse of the visitor.
"It is almost two o'clock in the morning! Get rid of her," Elliot protested.
"Oh my God," Olivia mumbled.
"What?" Elliot asked looking over at her.
"Elliot look," she said holding the blinds open as Elliot looked out at the woman he had only seen on photographs. "You want me to handle this? I'll tell her you don't want to see her."
"No," Olivia said with tears in her eyes. "I should at least talk to her. Can you sit with her?" she asked tucking a blanket tight around Isabella and kissing her forehead.
"Of course. Are you sure about this?"
"I'm not sure about anything anymore."
"Well, I am right here if you need me."
"Thanks El," she said smiling at him over her shoulder. "But I think this is something I have to do alone."
Elliot nodded and watched through the blinds as Olivia walked across the room to the woman. For the first time in over a year, mother and daughter were standing face to face.
"Olivia?"
"Mom," Olivia replied as tears pooled behind the brown eyes she inherited from her mother.
"Why didn't you call me? I have to hear on television that I am a grandmother and that my grandchild is now missing?"
"Mom," Olivia said as tears began to stream down her face, "I really don't have the energy to argue with you right now. My baby girl is missing. And if you came here just to give me crap about what a horrible mother I am, save the breath, because you couldn't possibly hate me as bad as I hate my self right now."
Olivia turned to walk back toward the little room where her second daughter waited for her.
"Olivia, I don't hate you. I came here, because I want to be here for you. I couldn't imagine what you are going through right now and I thought that just maybe, you could use your mother. I thought maybe there was something that I could do to help find my granddaughter."
Olivia drew a staggered breath and closed her eyes for a moment.
"Is there someplace we can go to just sit and maybe grab a cup of tea?" Serena asked watching Olivia for a reaction.
"I am just so exhausted," she said softly. "I miss her so much."
"Olivia, talk to me."
Olivia turned to face her for a moment, then looked back at the door to the room where Isabella now rested, she wasn't ready to tell Serena the whole story just yet. Her eyes scanned the room as she looked for a place they could go to talk and still be nearby.
"You can use my office," Cragen said as he approached Elliot's desk. "Anything I need to do for right now can be done from right here. Go on in and close the door, that will give the two of you a little privacy. I'll let you know first thing if we get any news. I promise."
Olivia nodded and took another breath. Lately she seemed to be living her entire life one breath at a time.
"Thank you," she breathed as Cragen nodded.
She cleared her throat and took a second to compose herself once more.
"There is a coffee pot over here. Nothing fancy. But it's black and it's hot. Hot water and tea bags, cups are there," she said pointing to the stack of Styrofoam coffee cups. "I know this isn't what you are used to…."
"It will do fine. Thank you," Serena said. "You should have a cup. It will help calm your nerves," she suggested handing Olivia a cup of hot water with a tea bag floating in it.
Moments later they were sitting in Cragen's office. Serena sat in the over stuffed office chair and Olivia sat on the edge of the old brown couch.
"So, why are you here mom?"
"I told you. I want to help find the baby."
"Her name is Sophie."
"Why didn't you call me? I would have helped you if you were in trouble."
"I wasn't in trouble."
"You were pregnant and alone. Now a single mother with a missing child. You should have called."
"I should have. But I didn't want to hear it."
"What on Earth are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I am talking about. You, mother. You telling me every day how badly I screwed up my life by getting knocked up when I wasn't married. How I ruined my life."
"Well, it would have been ideal for you to have waited until you had a man in your life to help raise this child."
"I have a man in my life. A wonderful man, who loves me….possibly more than anyone else in my entire life ever has. And my girls have a father. They have their father and he is an amazing father and there is not a single thing that I would change about the way I chose to bring my children into this world."
"Children?"
Olivia stared up at Serena, unaware until this moment that she had let her little secret slip.
"So this isn't the first time you got knocked up and failed to tell me about it?"
"Mom…."
"Talk to me, Olivia. Tell me the truth. Communicate with me, I am sitting here asking you to talk to me. Tell me anything….something about your life. Just how long have you been hiding my grandchildren from me?"
"They are just over three months old."
"Twins?"
"Yes. Both girls. Sophie and Isabella."
"Sophie is missing…. Where is Isabella?"
"Down the hall, with her father. She is sleeping."
"Can I see her?"
"I can't….just not right now. She is asleep and she hasn't bee sleeping and I really don't think I am ready for that, just yet."
"I come here to after finding out that you hid the fact that I even have grandchildren and you are still going to keep them from me?"
"Mom, I have not seen or heard from you in over a year. I am not going to just let you walk into their lives and then disappear again whenever you want. I don't want them exposed to all of the lies and the drinking and the men. I just can't do it. I am sorry if that hurts you, but it has hurt me too. And I have to protect them. It is my job to protect them," she said as she began to fall apart once more.
"You are right. The drinking and men, that is nothing babies should be exposed to. I don't blame you for not wanting to let me see them, Olivia. I have done a lot of horrible things while I was drinking and most of it, hurt you. I know that. And I am sorry. I have been sober for eight months now. I still have days when all I can think about is a drink. Alcohol is my drug. But I am trying to build a better life. And I hope to have you in it. You and my granddaughters. I know it is a lot to ask right now. I have not been here for you, Olivia. Ever. I know that, but I am here now, baby. I am right here beside you and I want to help. I even gave the men a ten thousand dollar check to add to the reward money. I want to help find Sophie."
"Okay," Olivia said with tears in her eyes.
"Honey, what happened?"
"I was out shopping with the babies and I had put Sophie in her car seat. I turned to get Isabella from the stroller and a man stole my car with my baby inside. There has been no trace of my daughter or the car since."
"What do they look like? I saw the photo they flashed on television, but it hadn't quite sunk in yet that she was my granddaughter. Do you have a picture?"
"Umm….yeah," Olivia said standing and picking up a frame from Cragen's desk that held a picture of the babies.
"Your boss has a picture of your kids on his desk?"
"We are all close here. Kind of like family. He is like a surrogate grandfather to Sophie and Isabella, he loves the. And they adore him."
"They are beautiful. Identical?"
"Yes. That is Izzy on the left and Sophie is on the right."
"They look just like you did when you were this age. You were such a beautiful baby. Still my beautiful baby."
"Mom, I have not been your baby in a very long time."
"I didn't mean to upset you."
"I just don't think that we should sit here and reminisce about all of the wonderful times we didn't really have."
"I know I hurt you, honey. And if I could take it all back I would. But I can't. All I can do is apologize and ask for forgiveness. And promise you and myself that I will do better, should you one day allow me to have a relationship with my grandchildren."
"I'm really tired. And it is very late. Maybe you should go for now," Olivia said taking the photo from Serena and tracing her fingertip over Sophie's image. I appreciate everything that you are doing to try to help bring my baby home and thank you for coming here. But the truth is that I am just not ready to put it all behind me and pretend nothing ever happened. I am very happy for you about your sobriety. If it infact has been that long, that is wonderful. Unfortunately, this is not the first time you have shared this news with me and every time before you always found your way back to the bar. I am sorry if I hurt or offend you, but I cannot allow a drunk to be a part of my children's lives. Even if she is their grandmother."
With that Olivia stood and walked toward the door. Half way out she stopped and looked over her shoulder , staring at Serena for a moment before she left the room. Serena Benson sat alone in the captain's office for a moment.
Olivia walked out and opened up her desk drawer pulling out her purse. She opened her wallet and slipped out a photograph of her little girls. She flipped it over to read the back of the photograph.
"Sophie Grace & Isabella Hope Benson
1 month old"
She traced her fingertip over the letters as she looked up to see Serena making her way toward the elevator. Olivia walked out into the hall to catch her.
"Mom," she said as the door opened.
Serena turned and looked at her. Olivia walked over beside her and placed the picture in her hand. Serena stared at it for a moment and smiled.
"Sophie Grace and Isabella Hope. They are beautiful names for beautiful little girls."
"They need their grandma. But I can't let you be around them unless I know for sure that things have changed. I just need a little time."
"I know that. You are a good mother, Olivia. And none of this was your fault. Can I keep this?"
"Yeah, I kind of thought you could use it for inspiration. When you really feel like you want to drink, maybe they can give you the strength to stay away from the bottle. They are my strength. I was thinking maybe you could come around more often. I might be a grown up now, but there are still many times in my life that I could use a mother. And you know, if things go well, then maybe you could meet Izzy."
"That sounds like a good idea. And grandma is going to be here to hold little Sophie when she comes home, too."
"Yeah," Olivia said as a tear trickled down her cheek. "But mom, this is a one time chance. If you start back up with the drinking….I can't let you be around the babies."
" I understand that. This is a chance for a fresh start. And I think maybe this is just what I need to kick this awful habit once and for all. I love you baby," Serena said kissing her daughter's forehead.
"I love you too, mama."
"You give Isabella a kiss for me and tell her that grandma loves her and hopes to see her real soon. And if you need me baby, call me. I can be here in minutes."
"I will," Olivia agreed as Serena stepped into the elevator and the doors closed in front of her.
"How did it go?" Elliot asked looking up at her as she walked back into the room.
"It went….alright, I guess. Our relationship will never be perfect."
"What did she say about the babies?"
"She put up another ten thousand dollars for Sophie's reward. And she said she wants to meet them."
"How do you feel about that?"
"I told her I wasn't quite ready. Not isn't really the best time to be worrying about things with my mother. I need to be focusing on finding my child. But I agreed to work on trying to mend things between us and I think that after a while….as long as she stays sober, maybe it would be good for the babies to meet their grandmother."
"I think you handled that perfectly."
"Elliot," Cragen said rushing into the room behind Olivia, "we just got a call from a precinct in Philadelphia….they found Olivia's SUV."
"Where?" Elliot asked.
"Just outside the city wrapped around a lamp post."
"What about Sophie? Did they find Sophie?" Olivia asked.
"I'm sorry, Liv. The baby wasn't in the car. I'm sending Munch and Fin, now."
"Let me go," Elliot insisted.
"You are too close to this," Cragen snapped.
"This is my daughter we are talking about here! You are damn right I am close to this!"
"I am sorry, Elliot. I just can't. Not only is it against policy, it just isn't safe. I shouldn't have even told you about the lead, but I promised you guys I would keep you updated and I know you are worried sick. And Olivia needs you here. I faxed a copy of the poster to Philly and they are going to hang them for us. Someone has to know what happened to that baby. I am sending Munch and Fin because I know they wont stop looking until Sophie is home safe in your arms. I trust them. They love that baby just as much as I do. Right now, you should try to get some rest. I will let you know as soon as I find something out," Cragen said walking out of the room and closing the door.
"Get some rest….I would like to see him sleep knowing his kid is missing!"
"They are gonna find her, right El?"
"Yeah honey, they are not going to give up until they do. You heard Cragen, someone has to know what happened to Sophie. And thirty five thousand dollars is one hell of a lot of money to pass up to cover for someone. Somebody had to have seen her."