A/N: I really love this story. Have some more. I don't own Glee, because, let's face it, if I did, it would make a lot more sense.
Chapter Four:
"To thank Blaine for all his help, Nick and Jeff decided to hook him up with Kurt. Nick and Jeff regretfully killed Pavarotti. Technically, they poisoned her water. Technically, they are horrible, awful people. Technically, it was totally worth it."
"Okay, our next order of business is Kurt and Blaine," Nick announced, looking down his notebook.
"Ugh, what about them?" Thad asked. "I'm so sick of this will they, won't they crap. It's worse than the TV."
"They will," Nick concluded, snapping his notebook shut. "Because Jeff and I have a plan."
"This better be a good plan," Wes scolded them. "I don't approve of shenanigans under my roof."
"Who invited this party pooper?" Nick asked rhetorically. "It's brilliant. Blaine hates studying and loves Maroon 5, right, so when we are all studying in the common room this afternoon, he's going to have to interrupt us… and that's only the beginning." Nick grinned and Jeff did too.
"Okay, it's all set," Nick said to Jeff. "Are you ready?"
"Okay hold on, we can't just kill Pav," Jeff said. "He's part of an unbroken line of canaries that have been at Dalton since 1891!"
"Okay, Wes," Nick replied, rolling his eyes. "What do you propose?"
"Um…" Jeff thought. "Okay! We go to a pet store and get a different canary, which we then kill, and we keep Pavarotti."
"Where?" Nick asked.
"Uh… my house!" Jeff said. "Sarah will take good care of him." Nick contemplated this plan.
"Alright, fine," Nick said.
"Warblers, Warblers, I am merely suggesting that instead of wearing blue ties with jackets with red piping, we jackets with red ties and blue piping for the competition."
"This is a kangaroo court!" Trent burst in.
Warbler meetings often descended into pure chaos. It made Nick second guess his decision to try to acquisition a position on it for the next school year, when Wes would be graduating, and Thad had already said he would be stepping down. Leadership wasn't his thing.
Warbler meetings that didn't involve actual practicing were a big waste of time, when Nick could be spending that time kissing Jeff. That's all they did (for now), just kissing, but it was beyond anything either of them had ever dreamed of. When their skin touched it was like fire and ice at the same time, just perfect.
Kurt walked in, dressed all in black, and Nick immediately knew what had happened.
"Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine asked.
"It's Pavarotti. Pavarotti's dead."
Nick wished he was sitting next to Jeff so he could poke him in the ribs and say something akin to 'I told you so'. Instead he settled for looking mildly alarmed.
There it was, halfway through the song – Blaine's face was unmistakable. Finally, the obliviousness was gone, and Blaine realized Kurt was it. It was a glorious, glorious thing.
"So, now what?" Jeff asked Nick.
"Go next door and talk to Blaine," Nick instructed.
"Why me?" Jeff asked.
"Because if I go, he'll know it's a set up," Nick sighed. Jeff left their room and knocked on Blaine's door.
"It's open," Blaine called. Jeff pushed his way into the room slowly. Blaine was sitting on his bed, textbook on his lap, notebooks all around him.
"Hey," Jeff said.
"Hey," Blaine replied. Jeff didn't say anything, just sat on Blaine's desk chair, waiting for him to say something else. "How could I have been so dumb, Jeff?"
"What?" Jeff asked.
"Kurt," Blaine said. "He was there the whole time, right in front of my nose."
"Yeah, you wanna talk about dumb," Jeff sighed. "I've known Nick for, like, a thousand years, and I never realized he was into me."
"That's different," Blaine said. "Like, for real, I really am clueless. He told me. You know he actual told me on Valentine's Day and it's taken me this long to figure it out. What do I say now? What do you say two months after someone tells you he likes you?"
"Sing it," Jeff suggested.
"What?"
"You should sing it," Jeff said, deciding to roll with this train of thought now. "Instead of doing another Pink song, do a duet with Kurt. At Regionals next week."
"I-I don't know, Jeff," Blaine said, off-handedly. "Wes would never go for it…"
"Wes loves you like his own son," Jeff said. "Everyone knows he's handing the Warblers over to you next year. Just, come on, do it, for all of us."
"You know, I think Blaine's version of the song is actually better than the original," Thad said.
"But it's not in his natural key, so…" David argued.
"How dare you?" Trent barged in.
"Enough," Blaine called. "I'm tired of this."
"I agree," Thad said. "I think we should just let you pick the song that you want to sing."
"No, I'm tired of the Warblers being all about me," Blaine said.
Well, this was certainly a different outcome than Jeff had expected was coming. He looked over at Nick, trying to speak to him telepathically, although it didn't seem to be working because everyone knows that every Monday is sweater vest Monday, but Nick wasn't even wearing his today, just a regular old stupid sweater. The whole point of sweater vest Monday is that you wear a sweater vest!
"All in favor of Kurt being my duet partner at Regionals?" Blaine finally asked.
Jeff's hand was the first shot into the air, big smile on his face. The other Warblers were starting to get it too.
"It's not just the sweater vest thing," Jeff groaned, throwing his head into his pillow. "Blaine expects me to come up with a duet for them to sing on Saturday, and I'm having choreographer's block!"
"What the… just pick any lousy duet," Nick replied. "I told you my sweater vest is at the dry cleaners! It's not my fault they're slow."
"But it's Monday, and we always wear sweater vests on Monday. I'm wearing mine, you're not wearing yours!" Jeff yelled.
"I'm going to go talk to Trent and Thad. When I get back, I expect this mood of yours to be over," Nick said, icily, standing up and leaving the room. Jeff punched his mattress again as the door shut behind Nick.
It was their first real fight, and it wasn't even a real fight. It was just a damn sweater vest, not anything important. Jeff didn't even know why he was getting so mad about it, it wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't the first time either one of them had missed a sweater vest Monday. It's just… he needed to talk to Blaine. Reluctantly, Jeff got up off his bed and went next door to talk to Blaine, who was uselessly ruffling through pages and pages of Warblers music to find a duet for him and Kurt.
"Nick and I are having a fight," Jeff announced without pretense.
"It's natural for best friends to fight," Blaine replied without looking up.
"Not as natural for boyfriends to get into a fight over a sweater vest," Jeff said. Blaine looked up.
"Boyfriends?"
"Blaine, I swear to God, you're like the slowest person on the planet," Jeff sighed. "Nick and I have been dating for weeks." Blaine stared.
"I can't do this," Blaine said. "I can't just walk up to a guy and tell him how I feel."
"Yeah, yes, you can," Jeff said. "Because I've done it and if anyone shouldn't be able to do it, then it's me. You are Blaine freaking Anderson and you are amazing."
"Why are you fighting about a sweater vest?" Blaine asked.
"It's sweater vest Monday!" Jeff exclaimed. "On Monday, we wear sweater vests, it's a tradition dating back to the beginning of our time at Dalton! Everyone knows about it!"
"This is the first time I'm hearing about it, really," Blaine said. "What song are Kurt and I going to sing? This was so much easier when the council picked out songs for me. I can't handle this, Jeff. You got me into this, now fix it!"
"I… Candles," Jeff blurted.
"What?" Blaine asked.
"Candles, by Hey Monday," Jeff said. "It's, um… really emotional, kind of … perfect."
"Candles," Blaine said. "Candles. Candles. Okay, candles. Alright then. Kurt and I are going to sing Candles."
"Alright," Jeff said. "Now fix me and Nick."
"What's wrong with you and Nick?" Blaine asked.
"We're fighting about sweater vests," Jeff said.
"Grow up, would you both?" Blaine asked. "There are actual grown-ups trying to start actual real-life relationships here." Jeff stared at him.
"Wow, that's a really good point," Jeff said. "I haven't even told Nick I Niff him today." Jeff turned around and left Blaine's room. Nick wasn't back in their room yet, Jeff didn't expect him to be. He marched down the hall and knocked on Trent and Thad's door. Nick opened it.
"What now?" he asked.
"I Niff you," Jeff said. Nick sighed, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.
"Look, J, I know you just want me to forgive you so it can all be back to normal, but I don't feel like it today," Nick said, walking down the hall with Jeff.
"No, it's not about the sweater vests. I don't care about them," Jeff said. "I Niff you."
"What does that even mean?" Nick burst out angrily. "I Niff you? It's not even a word, J."
"It's our thing," Jeff said, a little hurt now. "Niff, Nick plus Jeff."
"I know that, but what does it mean when I say I Niff you? I Nick plus Jeff you?"
"It means I love you," Jeff said quietly. "But more than that. It's like… I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, but so much that it hurts a little. Niff is the highest, truest, purest form of love in the universe, so great that it can only be bestowed upon the best and most perfect of all people. Simply telling you I love you would put it to shame for how deep and strong my feelings really are. I Niff you, Nicky, I Niff you so much."
"I Niff you too," Nick replied, tears in his eyes, reaching forward to hug Jeff tightly to him. They were so lost in their own Niff that they didn't notice Blaine watching them from down the hall. It looked so simple – saying it like that. It sure took a lot of that courage Blaine was always on about. But Nick and Jeff had known each other for a thousand years. Blaine had known Kurt mere months. It was different, it was painfully different. Blaine snuck back into his single room before Nick and Jeff caught him spying.
"He did it," Nick announced, walking into their room. "Blaine kissed Kurt and we are going to lose on Saturday."
"But it'll be totally worth it," Jeff shrugged. "We kinda owe Blaine anyway."
"Why? For what?" Nick asked.
"For always getting the solos," Jeff said. Then, because Nick wasn't getting it, he continued. "How many times have you auditioned against him?"
"Three," Nick replied.
"And me?"
"Six, you know that," Nick said, still lost.
"How many guys did I date before you?" Jeff asked.
"Five," Nick said.
"Which makes you…?"
"The sixth," Nick replied, a smile growing now. "And I dated, sorta, two girls before you, so you're the third."
"And our anniversary is?"
"March 6th," Nick said. "Oh my Gosh. I Niff you, I Niff you, I Niff you, I Niff you, I Niff you!"
"I Niff you too, Nicky," Jeff replied, smiling, as Nick attack hugged him.
A/N: Sweater Vest Monday is totally a thing where I work. Every Monday we all wear sweater vests. It's a thing. It's gonna catch on, and everyone in the world will wear sweater vests on mondays.
Discussion Questions for this chapter:
What is the stupidest thing you've ever gotten into a fight over?
Why do I love both Klaine and Seblaine and seem to be completely incapable of choosing just one?
Love you,
Samantha.