A/N: A few warnings to be attached to this chapter: I was drunk when I wrote most of this chapter. And part of the next one. Warnings for: Overuse of the word 'allons-y', unseen sexytimes between some very hot boys, bad references to fantastic movies, Doctor Who references, overuse of the word 'fuck' cuz I was drunk, throwbacks to like chapter two or some shit, and a few other things I should probably be warning for, like images of Sebastian you'll never get out of your head, and extreme feels if you're affected by songs like 'For Good' from Wicked. Oh and there are so many fucking pairings in this shit, it's ridiculous. Get out your bingo cards, ladies and gentlemen. We have(!): Niff! Klaine! Huntbastian! Trentbastian! Sebeats! St. Smythe! Niffbastian! Seblaine! Imagined Wes/Blaine! HOLY SHIT, just read it.
Chapter Sixteen:
"Sebastian slid in behind him, smirking. It felt good to smirk again, to be a general nuisance again. It was familiar, not like his relationship with Blaine. Relationships were unfamiliar territory for Sebastian, he was still trying to figure them out. But this – this was easy. Takedown was easy. Just as long as Hunter didn't take it too personal and try to have him expelled for it. He hoped Blaine and Niff could provide witness for him if it came to that."
"Allons-y!" Sebastian yelled, knocking rhythmically on Nick and Jeff's door. "Get a bag packed, we're going on a road trip!" He danced down the hall to Trent and Thad's door. "Trent, allons-y! Let's go!" Two more doors down, "Beats! Get up, you, we're going on a trip. Allons-y!" Sebastian jogged the distance back to his room, banging on Nick and Jeff's door one more time as he went. Ten minutes later, the four men had joined Sebastian in the hall, overnight bags packed. "What are we waiting for? Allons-y!"
"Are you going to tell us where we're going?" Nick asked.
"You'll like it, I promise," Sebastian said. "We'll be back Sunday night. Allons-y!"
"Come on, just tell us," Jeff said, following Sebastian down the staircase.
"Nope, it's a surprise." The five of them piled tightly into Sebastian's BMW. It was not comfortable. "It's not far, just a couple of hours."
"Could be anywhere," Trent said. "Basically everywhere is a couple hours from here."
"You'll like it, I swear to the mystical teapot dwarf," Sebastian insisted.
"The what?"
"Never mind."
Four hours later, Sebastian pulled his BMW into an already packed parking lot, checking his watch.
"Right on time, come along, Ponds…" he said absently, exiting his car. The other four followed him. As they entered the building, Sebastian handed the others tickets.
"Where are we?" Trent asked.
"2012 National Show Choir Championships," Sebastian said.
"You're obsessed!" Nick exclaimed.
"Well, if you don't want to…" Sebastian said. Nick seized the ticket from Sebastian's hand. "Thought so. It's just about time." The five Warblers snuck in the back of the auditorium, just in case there was a group onstage, but there wasn't.
"How did you get seats?" Trent asked.
"I met the coach of a fairly mediocre show choir a few weeks ago. Tried to play it off like it was his first time with another guy. Biggest lie in America," Sebastian said. "In return for not telling anyone, I got these."
"Who?" Jeff asked, interested.
"Jesse St. James," Sebastian said. "Coach of Vocal Adrenaline, ex-boyfriend of one Rachel Berry."
"Starting to make more sense," Nick said.
Ladies and gentlemen, from McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!
It really was unbelievable timing. The New Directions girls – the Troubletones, led by Bitchtana, did Edge of Glory, then Rachel did a solo, and finally there was Blaine, dancing across the stage with Kurt. It was great, really it was. They sat through a few more show choirs including Vocal Adrenaline, then Sebastian checked his watch.
"Oop, time to go," he said. "We have lunch reservations. Great little place, but you have to behave yourselves." They got up from their seats and made their way through the egressing crowd (intermission) to the lobby.
"How do you know all this stuff?" Nick asked. "Where are we, even?"
"The Windy City, Chicago, Illinois," Sebastian said. "I grew up here." He was so focused on showing off that he didn't notice the attractive blond guy leading the other group, also not paying attention. He and Sebastian collided, both falling to the floor.
"Watch where you're going," Sebastian snapped.
"Me? Watch where you're going, you bungling oaf," the other replied haughtily. Nick offered a hand to pull Sebastian to his feet, as he was closest.
"Bungling oaf? Do they call that an insult where you're from?" Sebastian retorted. "Fuck off." The other froze as if he'd never been told to fuck off before.
"Let it go, Clarington, come on," one of his buddies said, and they walked off.
"What a bag of dicks," Sebastian said. "Military school, no doubt. Worst place on earth. Come along, we have reservations. Allons-y." He shrugged off the encounter, not knowing it would later come back to haunt him.
After lunch, Sebastian dragged the five somewhere new: a harbor or marina of some kind.
"Lake Michigan!" Sebastian announced.
"It's nice," Jeff said. "Pretty, I guess."
"No , that's not the view," Sebastian said. "You'll see the view when we get there."
"Where is there?" Nick asked.
"You'll see," Sebastian said.
They did see. It was the biggest boat in the harbor – Sebastian's father's yacht.
"Okay," Sebastian said, once they were on deck. "There's the view." The other four turned around to look at the city.
"Wow," Trent breathed.
"Tell me about it," Sebastian said.
"Why would you ever leave this?" Jeff asked.
"My dad is an extraordinary bag of douche," Sebastian explained. "But enough about me. Get this party started. Beats, hit it!"
I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfking boat!
I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
This dolphin's splashing, getting errbody all wet
But this ain't Sea World, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherfker, don't you ever forget!
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan
Never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road
Posseidon, look at me…
Nick sat on the bench next to the guardrail, Jeff sat in his lap.
"It's so blue," Nick said. Jeff smiled, then he started giggling, and Nick did too.
"Oh, I Niff you, Nicky," Jeff said.
"I Niff you too," Nick replied.
"What's with you two?" Sebastian asked the giggling pair.
"We met on a boat," Jeff said, sighing in a nostalgic manner.
"It was a simpler time," Nick said. They looked at each other. "Race you!" Then they'd run off.
"Worked out better than I'd hoped," Sebastian said. "What about you two?"
"It's fantastic," Trent said.
"Does it start to kinda make up for everything?" Sebastian asked nervously.
"You didn't do anything to me that I didn't like," Trent said. Sebastian sighed.
"Beats?"
"Same," Beats shrugged.
"Didn't you have a boyfriend thing I screwed up pretty bad?" Sebastian asked.
"Mark and I are cool, we kind of have an open relationship…" Beats said. "It's hard, you know, being so far away."
"Mark," Sebastian said. "Mark." He chewed on the name. "Mark. I knew a Mark once. Cute. Nice butt."
"Probably not my Mark," Beats said. "Could be. I mean, he's cute, and he has a nice butt." He and Sebastian laughed.
"You have a nice butt too," Sebastian said to Trent. "Not feeling left out, are you?"
"No," Trent said, snapping back to reality. "Just looking at the city."
"Ever seen a big city before?" Sebastian asked.
"I went to New York when I was a kid, but I can't remember it," Trent said.
"We can go look around if you want. Go to the top of the Sears Tower," Sebastian suggested. "Crash a German parade, Cubs game, museum of art, the whole Ferris Bueller experience."
"No, that's okay," Trent said.
"You know what?" Beats asked. "Let's go."
"What?" Trent asked.
"You and me. We'll hit the town," Beats said. He held his hand out to Sebastian behind his back. Sebastian slapped his car keys and a credit card into the outstretched hand. "Thanks, Bas, you're a peach." He blew a kiss over his shoulder as he dragged Trent back to the departure point. Sebastian rolled his eyes, picked up the two bottles of tequila on the counter, and walked to the bow of the ship, where Nick and Jeff were taking turns being the queen of the world.
"You're both the queen of the world now?" Sebastian asked, smirking, but not in a cruel way. "That makes me the king, right?"
"Maybe it does," Nick said. "But it's more likely that Jeff and I would be queens together and you would be our court jester."
"Or slave," Jeff chimed in. "Like Princess Leia."
"Good to know you think of me in a gold bikini," Sebastian said. "You two are kinky as hell."
"We're kinkier than you can even imagine," Nick said.
"The first time we met, you told me you couldn't introduce me to your boyfriend because he was tied up."
"He was!" Nick insisted.
"You said what?" Jeff asked, incredulously.
"I'd only just met him. He sounded tall and cute, remember?" Nick asked.
"I sound tall and cute?" Sebastian asked.
"Jeff said you sounded tall and cute."
"I did say that," Jeff admitted. "Then Nick tied me up and went to see you."
"Where'd Trent and Beats get off to?" Nick asked, changing the subject in an attempt to save face.
"Gave em some money, they're hitting the town," Sebastian said. "We're all alone." Jeff looked sideways at Nick and raised his eyebrows.
"If you really want to," Nick replied. "You only get one."
"One what?" Sebastian asked. "What's going on?" Jeff nodded and Nick shrugged.
"Nothing," Nick said. "Is that tequila?" He seized one of the bottles in Sebastian's hand. "So it is. We'll need a lot of this."
Two hours and several shots of tequila later, the three were below decks in one of the spacious rooms, laughing up a riot.
"So, Jeff wants to have a threesome tonight," Nick pitched out of nowhere.
"Finally," Sebastian said, turning a predatory grin on them both. "What are we wasting time drinking?"
"Because I think I'd probably have to be," Nick said.
"Let's do it before you get whiskey dick," Sebastian said.
"Can I fuck you?" Nick slurred.
"No," Sebastian said.
"Then why does it matter?" Nick countered. Sebastian smirked.
"Can I fuck you then?" Sebastian asked, eyes flashing.
"Not a chance in hell," Nick replied.
"Well, Jeff, it looks like you're in for a wild night," Sebastian laughed.
"Does anyone know Beats's real name?" Nick asked.
"It's not Beats?" Sebastian asked.
"I think Wes does," Jeff replied.
"Who's Wes?" Sebastian asked.
"Old Captain," Nick said. "Basically him and Blaine were, I don't know, engaged to be married, or sucking each other off between classes. Wes ran the show, Blaine got the solos."
"Like you and me?" Sebastian asked with a tired grin.
"Ew," Nick said.
"Less talking, more cuddling," Jeff mumbled, throwing an arm across whoever was closer, which happened to be Sebastian, and snuggling into his back.
"Sorry, sweetheart," Nick said. "I Niff you."
"I will never be able to communicate how much I Niff you," Jeff said. "Shh."
"I'll get out of here so you two can–" Sebastian began.
"Stay," Nick sand Jeff said at the same time. And so Sebastian stayed.
When Nick and Jeff woke up sometime in the morning the next day, Sebastian had been long since gone.
"He was here," Nick said. "Was he?"
"Must have buggered off," Jeff shrugged. "Still, good night."
"Was it?" Nick asked. "Can't remember now."
"How drunk were you?" Jeff asked with a laugh.
"We were both pretty drunk," Nick said.
"Maybe you were," Jeff said, "but I wasn't." He stretched and hopped out of bed. Halfway across the room, he looked back at Nick, who was staring at him incredulously. "What? I wanted to remember."
"The things I do for you, J," Nick sighed, but smiling and hopping out of bed as well. "Like, I'm totally serious this time, never drinking again."
"It's a good point though, where has he gotten off to?" Jeff asked.
"Who knows," Nick replied. "Let's just be quiet for a bit." He held his head in his hands, dropping to his knees on the floor.
"Did you enjoy it, though?" Jeff asked, concerned, dropping to Nick's side.
"To be honest, I can't remember," Nick groaned.
"Good," Jeff said, kissing Nick on the fiercely on the cheek. "Because I don't ever want to be apart from you. One night in our whole lives. From now on, just us."
"I Niff you," Nick whispered. He melded his lips back to Jeff's. Jeff indulged him, pulling away just long enough to say four words:
"I Niff you too."
And that's where Sebastian found them an hour later. He was carrying a breakfast platter.
"Morning," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. They ignored him. "Oi! I said morning!"
"Chill the fuck out," Nick mumbled. "Who do you think you are, Donna Noble?"
"Oh please," Sebastian replied. "I got breakfast. Eat up."
"You can't cook," Jeff pointed out.
"Says who?" Sebastian countered.
"Says I'm your best friend and I know you can't cook," Jeff said.
"But I didn't say I cooked breakfast, did I?" Sebastian asked, grinning cheekily. "Beats is an excellent cook, in case you didn't know." He set down the platter and left the two of them alone. Walking down the hall of the ship, he bumped into Trent. "Just the man I wanted to see. We need to chat."
"What?" Trent asked, allowing himself to be pulled into the nearest room.
"How are you doing?" Sebastian asked.
"Fine," Trent shrugged.
"Don't lie," Sebastian sighed. "Seriously."
"I'm fine," Trent insisted. "Seriously."
"Did you like the city?" Sebastian asked.
"Very much," Trent replied.
"Did you two max out my credit card?"
"Probably, just about, yeah," Trent said. Sebastian laughed.
"Good," he said.
"Good?"
"Well," Sebastian said, "my dad and I haven't had a real fight in a while, that should just about do it. I'll be staying at Dalton over the summer, of course."
"Most of us are going home," Trent said. "Even Nick and Jeff."
"Really?" Sebastian asked.
"Well, they're going to Nick's house for a couple weeks," Trent said. "He hasn't been home in three years."
"Yeah, that's got to be hard," Sebastian said. "But enough about that. I have to ask you something."
"Go on," Trent prompted.
"It's been bugging me for months," Sebastian said. "I begged you not to try to clear my name."
"So you did," Trent said.
"Then why did you?" Sebastian asked. Instead of replying like a normal person, Trent chose to sing his reply.
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn and we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you
Sebastian was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion and gave Trent a bear hug.
"Should've known," he barely whispered. He hugged Trent for several minutes, refusing to let go, until finally he did, very suddenly. "Oh my God. I can't deal with emotions. See? This is why I don't do them. Meet me on deck in fifteen minutes, I've got something for you." Then he raced out of the room.
"What are we doing?" Jeff asked, yawning.
"I have something for everybody. Happy birthday to everyone!" Sebastian announced. "Especially me, because my birthday was three weeks ago and not one of you noticed. And Jeff, who turned 17 just two weeks before I did, and to Nick, whose birthday went basically unnoticed by his zombie of a boyfriend, and also to Trent and Beats, just fuck it. I got you all something and I brought it all the way from school to this boat, so just… happy birthday. Nick first." He handed Nick an envelope with a bow on it.
"If this is a picture of your dick, I will throw you off this boat," Nick warned. Sebastian laughed and Nick pulled a picture of Sebastian out. He looked super emotional, maybe even like he was crying. On the back was written – Actual proof Sebastian Smythe experiences emotions.
"Just in case you need to blackmail me someday," Sebastian said. "Trent took that of me while we watched Journey's End."
"He was bawling like a little kid," Trent said.
"It's sad!" Nick and Sebastian insisted at the same time.
"Thanks," Nick said.
"Okay," Sebastian said, pulling a box from the pile. "This is for Jeff." Jeff took the box and opened it, ripping off the paper wildly and chucking it aside.
"It's a tie," he said, surprised and confused.
"Oh my God," Nick said. "Is that the–?"
"Yeah," Sebastian replied. "So, funny story, I met this guy named Chris. Actually, I met him a long time ago, because he's the Captain of the Lacrosse team, but I was talking to him like two weeks ago, and apparently he lives in a cave because he didn't know I was a Warbler, and we got to talking, and it turns out he used to be buddies with my main man Jeffrey." Jeff was now a beautiful shade of red. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, young grasshopper."
"I can't believe you got my tie back," Jeff mumbled, too embarrassed to talk in a normal tone of voice.
"You're welcome," Sebastian cooed. "Beats!"
Sebastian gave Trent and Beats equally hilarious and useless gifts.
"Now then, we need to make a quick detour before our next scheduled stop," Sebastian said. "We've got about 20 minutes to say goodbye to the boat. Enjoy. And Jeff, I want to talk to you for a second." Trent, Beats, and Nick slowly left the deck, going to pack their stuff that they'd somehow splashed all around the boat the night before.
"What's up?" Jeff asked.
"Last night, I realized something. Something really important. You're my best friend, so I'm going to tell you," Sebastian said.
"What?" Jeff asked.
"There are two sides of me," Sebastian began explaining. "Me, this is normal, maybe a little hyper, I made brownies after you and Nick fell asleep… And then there's this whole other side of me. He's mean and vindictive and cruel and he really only likes a few things: winning, sex, and God, this hurts me to say it, but he really wants Blaine. And I – I, the real me, I – I really like Blaine, I do, but I don't want to hurt him again." Jeff just drank all this in, waiting for the end. "I want you to promise me something – I want you to promise me that no matter how hard I beg, no matter what I do, you will do everything in your power to keep me, and him, away from Blaine. My dark side … is getting out of control again. I'm going to Paris this summer, maybe an ocean between us will dull it a little… Just, can you promise me that? Please, Jeff. No matter what."
"No matter what," Jeff echoed, nodding. "I promise."
"And don't tell anyone else, not even Nick, please," Sebastian said.
"No, I won't," Jeff said. "I promise." He held out his pinky to Sebastian, who took it, not laughing; although the act was childish, the thought was very not.
Once the Warblers had piled into Sebastian's BMW, Sebastian began driving, and about ten minutes later pulled into the driveway of a nice looking house.
"Won't be a minute, I just need to get a couple things," Sebastian said, quickly taking off his seatbelt.
"Are we at your house?" Jeff asked, interested.
"Yes, and my dad's home, so just stay put and I'll be right back," Sebastian said. He got out of the car and hit the ground running, headed for the door. It would make for a better story if they hadn't, but they did and five minutes later, Sebastian came running back out with a bag, which he threw in the trunk with their luggage, and then they were en route once again to Nationals.
"Why are we back here?" Jeff asked.
"You guys ask a lot of questions," Sebastian said. "Can't you ever just be grateful? I took you on a road trip to Chicago, put you up on my father's yacht. Sheesh."
"Bas, I'm serious," Jeff asked. "We saw them perform yesterday, why are we here again?"
"Oh, um, yeah, it's the award ceremony," Sebastian said. "Rumour has the blogsphere that the New Directions might actually win this thing."
"Seriously?" Nick asked. "Goddamit, my parents sent me to the wrong high school!" Jeff swatted his boyfriend lightly.
"We'll get them next year," Sebastian said. "One-hundred-percent legit. Now shush, we're almost late." They snuck in the back of the auditorium. The New Directions, Vocal Adrenaline, and some other noobs were on the stage looking very scared.
In third place… All the way from Oregon, the Portland Scale Blazers!
Just throwing this out here as someone who also has a Portland in their state: Worst choir name ever.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, quiet please.
Congratulations to both teams standing with us onstage. But now it's time to announce a winner.
"That guy in the suit," Sebastian breathed into Jeff's ear, almost inaudibly.
"That's really specific since everyone here is wearing a suit," Jeff retorted.
"Don't give me sass, mister, that's Trent's job. The one on the right near the transsexual," Sebastian replied. "That's Jesse St. James."
The 2012 National Show Choir Champion…
From McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, the New Directions!
All five Warblers started screaming. They didn't know why. Everyone else was doing it, it seemed like the right thing to do.
"And now we get the hell out of here before they notice us," Sebastian said, pushing Jeff towards the door. "Let's go! Allons-y!"
A/N: Come along, Ponds, leave me some reviews. I deserve it at this point. D:
Samantha.