She sighed nervously when the dress didn't fit.
It was the third she had tried, but that damn zip didn't want to work.
Her mother had gave her few dresses to try and she had to choose one to wear on the runway for the show that she would have that night.
It wasn't unusual for Blair, but she mostly used to go behind the scenes to check on the models and the dresses more than go on the runway herself.
She loved to control everything, now being a model wouldn't let her do her job and she loathed it. When her mother had finally gave her trust to wear one of her dresses she wanted to step down.
It wasn't that she didn't exactly love being in the spotlight, being watched by the audience as you walk the runway. The thing she was hating in that moment was that the dress didn't fit. It was a size 2 anyway, so that was probably the main problem. Blair was a 4 and for the models world she was already fat for that matter.
She loathed how models were so skinny, yet she thought it was better for her to be the way she was, just with a size 4 dress if her mother wanted her to go on the runway.
"Honey are you sleeping behind that curtain?" Eleanor asked in the afternoon.
Blair covered herself with the dress and smiled when her mother opened the dressing room.
"You still haven't tried that one? You should hurry! The show is gonna start in 4 hours and I want every one of my models to have their dresses fixed by then."
Blair bit her lip. "It doesn't fit, mother" she said shyly.
She hoped her mother wouldn't make a scene because of that saying she was fat or something, because then she would have killed Blair's small confidence.
"How it doesn't fit?"
"It's a size 2 not a size 4" she explained quickly.
Her mother smiled and shook her head. "How come I couldn't forget... I'll ask my assistant for your size. I bet she thought all the models were -" she cut herself off once she realized what she was going to say. "How are you feeling, honey?"
Blair frowned, slightly confused.
"Great?"
"You sure you don't need the bathroom or perhaps a cupcake?" she asked kindly.
She made a face. "You sure you don't need a cup of coffee, mom?"
Eleanor shrugged. "Or perhaps macaroons?" she asked again, ignoring what Blair had just asked her. She picked a box of macaroons Blair had put there few minutes before and gave it to her.
Blair just took it and looked at her mother with worry.
"What? You don't like those anymore? I figured you're just over stressed because of the wedding and you needed something to eat, that's it."
"Is there something you want to say, Mother?" she asked, straight to the point.
She knew that make that question wasn't exactly the best, but she needed to act as if she wasn't that queasy.
Eleanor shrugged. "Is there something you wanna tell me, Blair?"
Her mother's eyes were inspecting her, waiting for something. She knew her mother wanted an answer, but in that right second she couldn't think of anything believable to say.
What she could possible tell her?
I'm pregnant, mother? She wasn't sure of her mother's reaction though she knew her mother wouldn't approve. A child out of wedlock whose father wasn't possibly the man she was going to marry? That sounded sacrilegious for a Waldorf.
Blair bit her lip and swallowed hard. She brought a macaroon to her mouth and then delightfully started chewing.
"You know Louis has made his sister bring me these from Paris. You should try one."
Eleanor looked annoyed by the answer. Perhaps she was really waiting for Blair to say she was pregnant.
She possibly knew?
Blair tried to keep a smile on her face while she swallowed the macaroon and finally her mother gave up. She looked at the box and saw it was the last one, what a pity.
Eleanor smiled. "Dear, if you want some more of those you can look in the other room anyway" she said noticing where Blair was looking. "You need to eat."
She shook her head when Eleanor started walking away and closed the curtain.
Her mother used to act weird in some situations, but when it came to fashion she never kid.
She remembered when she was a child, her mother asked her one month before if she wanted to take part in her next show. She did it just to prepare her, she wanted Blair to fit in a size 2 or even a 0 so that she wouldn't have made a poor impression with the press since she was the designer's daughter.
Blair obviously felt so stressed by that.
She wanted to go on the runaway in her size 2 outfit, but she often wasn't able to.
She wasn't an anorexic model. She was a teen who just wanted to have fun, but her mother never seemed to get it so she started to go on a strict diet that consisted in throwing up every little thing she ate just to be as skinny as the models.
Eleanor seemed to have changed at the present that Blair was relieved, but this still looked too worrying for her.
Her mother was older and experienced, it wouldn't be the first time she's seen a pregnant young woman. One of her models perhaps could have gotten pregnant or had a false pregnancy while they were working, it wasn't that she was the first one... She decided.
But also, could that be maternal instinct? As if her mother was sensing something was changing in Blair's life?
That sounded not too in Eleanor Waldorf's style.
….
"Miss Blair, you want me to buy more cupcakes?" Dorota's voice echoed in the dressing room.
Blair had remained there the whole time alone, trying not to meet Louis' sister neither him or her mother.
She had opted to stay away from everyone because that day she was too edgy that she couldn't talk to anyone and not yell at them. Dorota was no exception.
"Cupcakes, Dorota? When on Earth would I want cupcakes?" she yelled.
Dorota looked a bit frightened, but she wasn't giving away too much.
"Because you ate all macaroons and I-"
"I didn't ask you for cupcakes, Dorota." Blair said with decision. "Above all, I hate cupcakes so don't you dare to ask me again. I'd rather eat caviar for one week than cupcakes."
Dorota frowned. "But you eat those in your bed at morning."
Blair glared at her maid. She shook her head and rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"Fine. You want to buy cupcakes, go buy cupcakes." She decided.
She didn't want to be that hard on Dorota, but it was weird for her too. She had hated cupcakes so much and for her whole life, but it seemed like she craved those sweets more than she craved macaroons or other things those days.
She wondered if it was the baby's fault.
Blair sighed and looked at her dress again when Dorota left the room.
This one her mother had given her suited her body.
Thankfully, she still fit in a size 4 and could still pretend her stomach hurt because of her period... She sighed at the thought. How much she was missing period pain those days people had no idea.
She at least hoped nothing would happen while she was on the runway because that meant social destruction.
She would be taken as one of those model who starve themselves to fit in their dresses, and she didn't want that.
She was finally healthy in that regards, and she had to keep her facade on for the French royalties that she was sure were watching her every move.
Louis' sister for example.
Blair had thought she may was stalking her.
Louis' mother had probably asked her to fly to New York to keep an eye on Blair, waiting for the slightest mistake to suggest Louis or their mother a valid reason to call off the wedding.
It was sad to know she was probably followed or something.
She felt so stressed and all she wanted to do was have some time for herself, probably doing a bit of shopping and meeting with Serena, but she knew she couldn't.
Serena had ignored the text she had sent her the day before.
She hadn't written too much, just that she wanted to talk and ask her best friend about her trip to Los Angeles since she had seen the pictures all over Gossip Girl up until two weeks before. But Serena kept herself silent.
She didn't answer nor called back, and Blair started to get paranoid for her too, thinking Serena may hated her for something or worse, she didn't have any more time for her.
She was about to get married after all... Leave her friends, leave everything behind.
She didn't care about the Humphreys but she cared about her friends.
She would leave Serena and Nate here. Yes, they could probably come to visit whenever they want, but it wouldn't be the same.
They couldn't go to Butter or Saks and couldn't party together.
Her life as the wife of a Prince would be so busy that she could not even party alone.
What about Chuck anyway?
That looked like the saddest goodbye, even sadder than the one they faced in May.
She would still see him on TV and if she surfed the net, but it wouldn't be the same.
A part of her thought she didn't have to do this.
She didn't have to get married with Louis and leave the country. Could she bribe him into living in New York? She thought not.
Could she not get married? She wasn't sure.
Not realizing her dream would also mean dishonor what Chuck had wanted her to do.
He had let her go to find happiness and became what she had always dreamed to become.
He wanted her to become a Princess.
Not pursing her dream now that she had the opportunity wasn't wise. She could lose her chance forever.
Yet, she wasn't fully ready to let go.
She was sure the baby growing inside of her wasn't Louis'. She couldn't leave the country with a Bass in the oven and keep living her life pretending the baby is French royalty when its obvious not.
And her morning sickness wasn't helping the cause.
….
Chuck had been buried in documents for the whole morning.
He had decided not to go to his new hotel that day because he had asked one of his trustworthy employees to look after it for him for the weekend.
He wasn't ready to get back yet, since he was starting to heal his bruise a bit.
The day before he had seen Nate's doctor and he had promptly went to the private center to have his chest X-rayed.
The results wouldn't be ready if not on Monday, so meanwhile as the doctor suggested he only had to take one pill after lunch and one after dinner and apply a cream that would help the bruise to hopefully disappear in few weeks and at the same time lessen the pain.
Nate hadn't been home since the morning before and so he didn't have anybody that asked how and what he had done to his bruise.
He had eventually got back home in the afternoon, not ignoring Chuck sitting behind his desk in the living room part of their suite.
Chuck had pretended to be deep in his analysis of the papers, but of course this didn't stop Nate from talking.
"How are you today?" He asked calmly. "My doctor told me you went to see him yesterday... He suspects you have a broken rib. I just hope you bought what he asked you, if not I could do it for you. I know you have lots of work to do."
He frowned and raised his head from the papers.
"I do have lots of work to do. I need to finish controlling these papers before tonight." He said hoping he would take the hint and leave him alone.
Nate instead sat on the chair in front of him.
"You can't ignore this, you know it."
Chuck glared. "Yes I do, Nathaniel. In fact if it makes you happy, I already bought everything I needed and went to have a chest X-ray this morning."
His best friend smiled widely.
"That's good."
He looked down at the papers again.
Nate had had his answers and now he wished he would get the hell out of the room.
He was inspecting some papers that concerned the Empire. Some things were off and some rooms needed to have their lights changed and beds fixed.
Check these things was ordinary, but somehow that day it bothered him so much, probably because Nate was looking at him not from far, and because he was also anxious to know the results of the X-rays. Plus, it didn't help the fact that he had agreed about going to Eleanor Waldorf's show that night. That meant meet Blair and obviously Louis, and he wasn't ready.
His mood was black that day and he didn't want to get angry at people who didn't deserve his rage, Blair above all.
He was sure if she saw him there in the audience she would go to him to say hi or how are you after the show, probably happy under Louis' arm that looked like a doggy always around her.
She wanted her happiness, but she didn't calculate how hard it was for him on the other hand.
He heard Nate's chair move and he stood up.
"Tonight me and Serena are going to that club we also went last week. Are you coming?"
Chuck raised an eyebrow and thought about it for a second. He wanted to answer to Nate's question but decided to ask something different before.
"Are you and Serena an item now? She looks like she follows you everywhere and vice versa."
He giggled lightly. "We're just friends, that's all."
"With benefits?"
Nate became serious a bit. "No, I mean we've spent the summer together and as I recall I haven't felt this happy in my life since the times we all went to the Hamptons or to Europe all together." He said as those memories were really old.
"This means you can probably become, then." He added bitterly.
Nate shrugged.
They had had a really great time in Los Angeles together.
Nate and Serena had spent more time alone than with him, though. They often took the yacht to go in the open sea to sunbathe and they usually got back to their house around 7pm, when he usually was starting to prepare for the night after he had spent some time at the pool with few models he called.
They also seemed to look at each other weirdly lately, as if they were rekindling their dead flame, or perhaps was just his feeling.
He hadn't complained much about his best friends go by themselves to places when he had already arranged nights with girls and few other important people of the place. He didn't mind being left alone with strangers since he was used to.
Nate sighed and turned to the window after a while.
It looked as if Chuck had silenced his eagerness to talk about random stuff concerning his life.
This made him believe he was partially right about Nate and Serena, but that Nate wasn't sure of his feelings or he was afraid Serena didn't want him.
Either way, their problem. He didn't care much anyway. He was worried for his hotel and for his bruise to think about his friends' sex life.
"You know, sometimes I think it's going to be hard." Nate said at some point.
Chuck looked up and saw his friend was still looking outside of the window. He looked barely sad, mostly in his own thoughts.
"Live here, in New York, without some of your friends." He said calmly. "Blair is going to leave soon. Serena has got a job on the West Coast and she soon will too. They're going to leave us alone, man. And I have no idea why I feel so sad about it. That's why I'm probably trying to spend all this time with Serena. I know I can go visiting her if I want, but it won't be the same. They won't be here with us anymore."
Nate's words echoed in the room, sharp as daggers.
It was as if truth dawned again over them.
Blair was going to leave town in two months, Serena at the end of the month. One because she thought she had found her perfect match, the other because she had found her perfect match as well, only in the form of a a job.
It wouldn't be that hard for him and Nate to go and visit Serena when she would move in to Los Angeles. The personal Bass jet would take them there in less than six hours whenever they want. Serena would still be their friend although she was in another state.
The thing was different with Blair.
She was going to move to another country, another continent.
See her would be harder and difficult. She would be buried in her work as a wife and such. He was sure Louis' mother wouldn't let Blair rule their princedom the wrong way.
Chuck looked away and felt suddenly worse than before.
"I admire the way you are reacting, Chuck." Nate continued. "It must be hard for you."
He smiled at the words. "If she's happy, then I'm happy." He just answered his friend.
In a way, he really believed this. In another, he felt such a loser because he hadn't been able to be the one making her happy. He was such a lost cause... he figured he should probably go on by doing what his father had done after his mother had departed.
A life as a playboy until he would find the woman to marry, as much as he knew no woman could substitute Blair.
He rethought, he could perhaps never get married.
Nate smiled. "Yeah, I should tell myself the same thing."
…
Few hours later he decided to go for the club Nate had suggested.
He thought it would be a better idea if he didn't attend Eleanor's show. He didn't want his mood to get worse than it was. He was already too nervous and edgy that he didn't need a prince who looked like Kermit the frog to aggravate his unstable humor.
Serena was waiting them at the bar, Nate had told her Chuck was coming too and she had been very happy of the thing.
She smiled at them when she spotted the guys getting in the room through the crowd and went to hug them. Chuck thought she was already a bit drunk perhaps, it's not that Serena was used to hug them every single day. They were just going to stay together and that's it, no need to show affection although he knew he needed it. Especially from Serena who clearly cared for him as a brother.
"I'm glad you made it! It's nice to see you here, Chuck." Serena said with a grin as they reached the barstool and ordered their drinks.
Chuck nodded. "To the old times in Los Angeles. We need to celebrate the ending of this summer."
"We definitely should." Serena agreed.
"We should drink as much as we can tonight." Nate added and fastly sipped his drink once the waiter gave it to him. Serena and Chuck did the same.
Of course Chuck had ordered scotch, while Serena a simple gin tonic and Nate a scotch too.
Chuck wasn't going to ask why the choice, but he got that Nate cared a lot for Serena and he was clearly sad of her departure in less than three weeks.
It was like him with Blair, he had just pretended not to realize it yet.
Both of them needed the strongest glasses anyway, and scotch was Chuck's favorite. Nate had learned well that Chuck's mood depended on what he was drinking. Scotch usually gave him the right amount of scorch in his throat after the first gulp, a hurting that he longed to feel every time he felt really depressed.
"So, what's going on here?" Chuck asked casually after the third drink.
Serena looked confused. "What do you mean by what's going on here? I don't follow you." She said as she sipped on her drink.
He was amused.
He didn't know why he thought about a question for Serena, it was probably the alcohol running through his veins already. He felt a bit vicious and Nate had just left his chair to go somewhere where he had spotted one of his friends from Columbia.
"I thought you were going to go to Eleanor's fashion show tonight. Ergo, I thought you were going to go on the runway for her."
Serena raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a model or something, and you know it. Perhaps I'm old for that kind of job."
"It doesn't mean you are trying to avoid Blair, is it?"
She looked surprised by the question. "I'm not trying to avoid Blair. She's my best friend."
"Oh, really? Then why haven't you met yet since we got back from Los Angeles? I know you barely talked to her at her party the other day. But besides that small talk, you didn't seem to be happy friends you used to be few months ago."
"She's been busy, Chuck. I can't go out with someone who's trying on wedding dresses and choosing the flowers for their wedding." She rolled her eyes.
"But you could try asking her perhaps. I'm sure she doesn't have a full time schedule." He suggested. "Or you don't want to?"
Serena's lip quivered and she looked at her drink. "Please, Chuck. Don't act like you are cold to Blair's wedding either."
"Are you jealous?" he asked, noticing too late it was a double cutting question.
She turned to look at him in the eyes and smiled bitterly. "Of who, a prince? I surely am not." She shrugged. "Is just... she's leaving us behind. Everyone of us. I'm happy for her but I also think it's too early for this. She's too young to get married."
He bit his lip. He wondered if Serena felt the same feelings as him about that, and he got an answered.
"You don't want her to go." He declared.
"Well, do you?" She asked with glossy eyes. "I know you still love her..." She said, then sipped another bit of her drink and looked away again. "Don't think it's easier for me. I love her too. I am not ready to let her go. She's the only friend I've got... beside you and Nate." She admitted shyly. "I want her happiness. But I also want her here with me. I miss her already."
Chuck drank as well while listening to his step-sister.
She was right. Oh, she was too right. He was feeling the same way but he never said it or heard it before.
He felt relieved Serena and Nate also looked sad for Blair moving on.
None of them was ready.
"Then try to spend as much time with her as you can." He suggested.
Serena looked on the verge of tearing up when she turned. She nodded slightly and a tiny smile appeared on her face.
…
Blair read Gossip Girl's text right before the show was going to end.
She had already made her appearance in her beautiful gown, and thankfully everything had gone the right way, but she felt so envious in that moment for no reason and she hated this feeling more than she hated being sick.
Gossip Girl had texted the following.
Seems like our favorite UESers decided to met again for a friendly night! Spotted at the Chameleon Club, CSN drinking hard like good old times. Isn't someone missing, perhaps? Yes, she is. Our soon to be princess B was stuck at her mother's show and couldn't make it to the club. I heard the grey dress she was wearing looked amazing, but what about your bffs, B? I smell exclusion. Could they may be already preparing for when you'll say buh-bye to your hometown? I suggest you, don't be sad! I'm sure wearing a real crown will repay. They say when you are powerful you don't need friends, that may be true? XOXO
First, she didn't think her friends were avoiding her.
Sure Serena hadn't texted her back and Chuck hadn't come to the show that night although he promised her the day before, but Nate kept calling her every day and sometimes also visit her.
The relationship with Nate was obviously different than the one with her best friend and her ex boyfriend, but he was also one of her exes and things had never been too awkward like on the other hand they were with Chuck and Serena.
She was aware that those two reacted really differently than Nate.
Well, didn't they want to congratulate or at least show her they were going to miss her more than they let her know?
She thought she was thinking too much and was forgetting that neither Chuck or Serena were likely to accept her getting married as much as herself. She was still battling with her will everyday to decide whether or not she was happy.
Considering two of the people she loved her the most in the world weren't showing any sign of happiness for her situation, she decided that they didn't have to give a damn about it.
They were probably never going to fully accept her decision, and she couldn't do anything about it.
Again, she was being paranoid and indecisive.
Why did it look as if she was doing what she always wanted but it wasn't the right thing to do?
Perhaps, wasn't what her heart really longed for?
"To happiness." She murmured to herself and sighed while in her dressing room alone as she drank a glass of fresh water.
In the background, the notes of the song playing in the room beside hers.
If you love me, why did you let me go? Too often she happened to wonder that.
Dorota broke her thoughts and got in the room with a trail. It had various things, fruit and some desserts. It looked as if the maid had sensed she wanted to eat.
"Thought you hungry."
"So nice of you." Blair commented with a bitchy grin. "You can go now." She said, but Dorota didn't move an inch.
Blair raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"You need to tell Mr Louis about this. You pregnant woman. Father need to know."
She glared at her maid. "I'm not what you just said, Dorota."
"No lie, Miss Blair." She said firmly. "I know what is to be pregnant and fear father not want baby. I think you need to tell Mr Louis before scandal get bigger."
Blair rolled her eyes.
"No rolling eyes. Tell Mr Louis or Miss Eleanor. You can't deny, too late."
"Are you done playing the psychiatrist?"
Dorota looked serious. "Louis mother is tough woman. Won't forgive if you hide baby. If you tell her she will respect your honesty."
"Like you did with your parents, Dorota? Spare me." She answered bitterly. "I don't need your advice. Get out."
The maid looked unmoved and frowned, but decided to reach the door.
Before she went out, she said one last thing. "Tell him then no regrets."
Blair was left once again alone.
She sighed with relief. Now Dorota knew too. She wasn't afraid of her maid telling her mother, but was afraid she could go tell Louis or worse, his sister.
She had to tell him the truth sooner or later, but when?
She had to do damage control and take the situation in her hands before Louis would find out and reject her the worst.
She needed to assure him it was their baby.
Who would suspect anyway the baby wasn't a Grimaldi?
She was sure none had seen her and Chuck at the Bat Mitzvah hiding in that room. The secret was safe for her until the day she died, was it?
A knock on the door announced Louis' entrance in her dressing room.
He had a black suit on with no tie. When he saw her he smiled and she smiled back. Then he walked calmly towards her and gave her a quick peck on the lips.
His sister, Beatrice, followed shortly behind.
"You ready to go home, Blair?" he asked with his French accent.
Blair nodded and noticed Louis' sister was smiling bitterly, and she didn't like it.
She blocked Louis' and her path towards the door. "Wait, Lou."
"Have you forgotten something?" he asked his sister.
"Nope, I haven't. But Blair probably did." She said smiling at her. She looked like a bitch, and she had always knew it. "Haven't you, Blair?"
Blair swallowed and tried to look calm. "Actually, yes. What about getting married at the end of the month?" She proposed, and Louis' face enlightened more.
"In three weeks? Would be the best!" He said approvingly and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
Blair turned to Beatrice and she was still smiling, but this time her smile looked deadly. She had one eyebrow raised and Blair knew that was the symbol of challenge. She thought she knew something, but what?
Was it possible that she knew that secret?
Either way, Blair had probably found the solution to her problems. Being quick.
…
Hope this chapter isn't a mess. I have had problems with inspiration, but I will try to write the ideas I had soon that I can update more often. Till then.
Note regarding Louis' sister: I called her differently in the previous chapter, but since the writers gave away via twitter that she was called Beatrice, I decided to use that name too.
See you soon, are appreciated :)