A/N: Riker's hips. Deal with it.
Chapter Twenty-Two:
"Blaine looked up at Sebastian. He should have been thinking, 'please do not sit on any of my furniture naked' or 'what if my parents came home right now', but the only thing he could register was just how beautiful Sebastian looked today. His green eyes were shining in the low living room light, and a smile was attached to his mouth. A real smile, not the smirk he usually wore."
"It's simple, really," Nick said. "We'll just politely inform Blaine, in song, that Sebastian is… is…um… what's the word I'm looking for?"
"An insufferable douchebag?" Beats suggested.
"Cold-hearted snake?" Trent suggested.
"You're a genius, thank you!" Nick proclaimed, grabbing Trent by the face and kissing him. "Cold Hearted Snake! Brilliant, brilliant. Beats, think you and the guys can get that funky beat?"
"Sure can, or my name's not Beats," Beats said.
"What is your real name?" Jeff asked.
"Shh!" Nick said, putting his hand over Jeff's mouth. "Don't insult him, this is very crucial."
The Gay Men of Dalton Academy Club met every Tuesday at lunch. And sometimes they let Beats attend. This was one of the times. Sebastian and Blaine walked up just then with their lunch trays, and sat down with them. Hunter hovered awkwardly for a moment, but then went and sat near David and a few more of the Warblers.
"The Gay Men of Dalton Academy Club graciously welcomes back senior member Blaine Anderson," Nick said. Blaine laughed.
"I can't believe you're still running that club," Blaine said. "It was a joke."
"It was an amazing idea," Trent said. "Really, I mean, we get together once a week, discuss current events, talk about Sebastian behind his back when he has better things to do than eat with us, and then Beats comes along and tells us who won the sports games that week, and we all feel pretty good about ourselves."
"Except that we don't really care about sports," Jeff shrugged. "You know who I just found out is dead? Vidal Sassoon."
"Is that a person, or was the whole line of products just exterminated?" Nick asked. Jeff rolled his eyes.
"Vidal Sassoon! The guy who made the line!" Jeff said. "You know, 'if you don't look good, we don't look good'? I've been buying his stuff forever."
"Okay, I think I've overdone my stay here," Beats said, picking up his tray. "See ya." He left to sit with Hunter.
"That's why we won't let you join!" Jeff yelled after him. "Killjoy. Anyway, Blaine, back me up here, Vidal Sassoon."
"Yeah, Vidal Sassoon," Blaine said. "Died of… leukemia, I think it was. Awful thing."'
"I've often thought this club was too gay for me," Sebastian sighed.
"Then leave," Nick suggested.
"Except then usually, you say something to outgay us all," Trent said.
"Last night, I had a dream, Jeff and Nick were riding on a unicorn into the sunset," Sebastian pitched. "Then Hunter showed up."
"Started out gay," Jeff laughed.
"Oh, it ended up pretty gay if you know what I mean," Sebastian said, winking.
"We always know what you mean," Nick said.
"Maybe someone should tell Hunter what Sebastian dreams about at night," Trent said.
"Be my guest," Sebastian said. "It'll just be you he hits, not me. I've taken enough of a beating from Nick over here."
"I thought we weren't going to talk about that," Nick said.
"What has been going on while I've been gone?" Blaine asked, his face bright red.
"Sebastian," Nick, Jeff, and Trent all said at the same time.
"I blame Hunter," Sebastian said, perfectly seriously. "He was the one screaming 'fuck me into the mattress'." Hunter was not so far away that he didn't hear that last sentence, and gave Sebastian a quizzical look. Sebastian licked his lips and winked flirtatiously. Hunter frowned and returned his gaze to his food.
"Better luck next time," Trent said. "There must be someone around here who'd still be willing." Nick, Jeff, Trent, and Sebastian all immediately turned to look at Blaine at the same time.
"Why are you all looking at me?" Blaine asked. "Just because I'm not with Kurt, doesn't mean I'm going to jump at Sebastian."
"Rejected!" Jeff exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.
"Would you like some ice for that burn?" Nick asked, offering Sebastian his soda.
"You're all dicks," Sebastian said.
"You love our dicks," Trent smiled pleasantly.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Sebastian said. "Jeff's, yes. Blaine's, yes. Yours, yeah. Nick, though…"
"Shut up," Nick said, throwing his small bag of Cheetos at Sebastian.
"Yours is very nice too," Sebastian snarked. Blaine turned progressively even redder and busied himself with eating his macaroni.
"So," Jeff said in an effort to change the subject. "How's that smackaroni working out for you?"
"You would like smackaroni, wouldn't you?" Sebastian remarked.
"It's part of the pimp's balanced breakfast," Jeff said. "Thought it'd be right up your alley."
"Bas isn't a pimp," Trent said. "He definitely falls into the category of ho."
"Then who's our pimp? Hunter?" Jeff asked.
"Why do 'we' need a pimp?" Blaine asked.
"Hunter would definitely be our pimp," Sebastian said.
"Don't bring me into this!" Hunter remarked loudly.
"Definitely," Jeff agreed.
Blaine went about his business after lunch, but his last two classes were probably the worst. He had English with Sebastian, then History with Hunter. Blaine sat down in the conveniently empty desk next to Sebastian.
"Hey killer," Sebastian said, looking up at him. "How's the first day back?"
"It's alright," Blaine said. "People keep asking for autographs, actually, it's weird."
As class rolled to a close, Blaine finally plucked up the courage to ask…
"What's going on with you and Hunter?" Blaine asked.
"Oh, him," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. "First day of rehearsal, he petitioned the council for a vote of no confidence against me and no surprise he won, and got a council seat." Sebastian sneered at the thought. "No contest, really."
"And here I thought they actually liked you," Blaine said.
"As the person who, admittedly, accidentally almost blinded their former superstar and basically told that dumbass Karofsky to kill himself? Yeah, I'm sure I'm in everyone's good graces. I begged my father to let me transfer out of state. No such luck."
"You wanted to leave Dalton? This is your haven, full of jack ass preppies like you," Blaine said. Then Sebastian's words the first time they'd met reverberated in his mind. "Or did you break too many hearts to stay?"
"As a rule, I didn't, uh, break any hearts here. Anyone I was with knew what they were getting. One, maybe two nights, no emotions. Just enough to take the edge off. I don't do emotions." Except Trent. Goddamn Trent, he just had to be the exception, didn't he? Weeks, that 'relationship' lasted, if you could call it that. No emotions, still, (at least on Sebastian's side), but he knew on some level Trent had had some. Sebastian had kept on insisting they needed to stop, that platonically watching Doctor Who was perfectly fine, no sex involved, but Trent could be damn sexy when he wanted. That man needed a boyfriend. If only Beats wasn't dating someone…
"Well, you screwed up," Blaine said. He dropped his voice several levels and continued. "Because I know you fell for me." The bell rang to end class. Blaine walked with purpose to History, which he had with Hunter. Sebastian was too shocked to chase him. It wasn't a big secret at this point, but Blaine was supposed to be oblivious, wasn't he? Despite the fact that he still had one class left, and Lacrosse practice (which he swore he wouldn't miss anymore), Sebastian took the rest of the afternoon off. He tried shopping first, but after spending a couple hundred dollars on Doctor Who merchandise for himself (and also stocking up on Nick's Christmas presents for the next few years), he ended up at Scandals, trying to lick the air out of a shot glass.
Hunter hauled Blaine to the practice room after last period, even though practice wasn't until 5, because Sebastian had Lacrosse. Hunter was intent on grilling Blaine on the dances they had learned the night before, because it wasn't obvious or anything that everyone else didn't know it either.
Nick and Jeff were making out on one of the couches, being their exhibitionist selves, so Hunter evicted them for being distracting.
"Distracting, are you kidding me," Jeff said to Nick as they walked back to their room. "He's distracted by two boys kissing?"
"I think at one point we had descended past making out to full on frottage," Nick pointed out.
"Still. He's supposed to be keeping up the image that he's straight, he can't possibly find us distracting," Jeff seethed.
"He's not straight, he's 'not even remotely bicurious', there's a difference," Nick said. "Hell, I'm not even remotely bicurious."
"Me too. But that's not the point, I really wanted to do that with you today in there," Jeff whined.
"Alright then, what's the next most public place you can think of?" Nick asked.
"Right here on the quad," Jeff said.
"It's November," Nick pointed out.
"Exactly why I should be keeping you warm," Jeff said, dropping to his knees right in the center of the grassy area most everyone crossed to get from the academic building to the dorms. "Can I blow your whistle, baby?"
"Y-yeah," Nick said, "but what if we get caught?"
"We'll get sent to the principal's office. I'm a bad boy," Jeff said, undoing Nick's pants button and pulling down the zipper. "How are you going to punish me?" Reaching inside Nick's briefs, he found the prize he'd been looking for, still half-hard from their make-out session before.
"Oh, Jeff, baby, I really don't think this is the best– Ohh…" Nick trailed off as Jeff licked–
Hold up, this was not where I meant to go with this chapter. This chapter was about Nick, Jeff, and Trent getting their Sexy Santana on and singing Cold Hearted (and remember all those sex moves from Animal? Imagine those, except Nick has less attractive hair because this is season four. Actually fuck it, he can have all the attractive hair he wants, I love Nick's hair long). This chapter was not supposed to be badly written baby penguin Niff smut. The closest I've come to a blowjob (and probably ever will) is eating a pickle. And I don't think the pickle even enjoyed it.
But I guess the story is about Niff, even if I've been all SQUEE HUNTBASTIAN lately. Okay, here you go, you can have it.
–as Jeff licked up the shaft slowly, then practically inhaled the whole thing like a hoover vacuum. If practice makes perfect, then Jeff was definitely better than perfect (though there was no impartial third party observer they could ask as to whose were better, Nick had a sneaking suspicion that it was Jeff, and that Jeff only liked Nick's because he'd never given himself one).
Nick forgot about the crisp November air and the fact that anyone could just walk along and see them as his boyfriend's extremely talented mouth got to work, licking, sucking, up, down, in, out, swirl… Though on a normal occasion Nick would try not to mess up Jeff's precious hair by grabbing it (and Jeff really didn't need the help going any deeper), Nick clutched a fistful of it just to keep standing up, this was possibly Jeff's best work so far.
"Fuck, baby, you really–" Nick didn't finish that sentence, he was busy making a different sound, the fact that they were outside completely forgotten at this point. Nick panted hard, using Jeff's body to keep himself vertical. Jeff licked his lips, tucking Nick neatly back into his pants, then stretching and standing up, catching Nick as he wobbled.
"Definitely the practice room next time," Jeff murmured, giving Nick a kiss.
When five o'clock rolled around, the Warblers were all convened in the practice room – except Sebastian.
"Lacrosse practice is probably just running over," Hunter said. "Let's just–"
"He wasn't at Lacrosse," David said.
"I'm sure he wasn't," Hunter sighed. "Wouldn't be the first time he's missed a practice, remind me to reprimand him. Nick, warm-up?"
"Absolutely," Nick grinned. "Hit it Beats!" Nick and Jeff jumped onto the Council's table.
He's a cold hearted snake
Look into his eyes,
Oh-oh, he's been telling lies
He's a lover boy at play
He don't play by rules
Oh-oh, girl don't play the fool now
Nick, usually a traditional dancer, was getting his sexy on with Jeff on top of the Council's table. Jeff offered a hand to Trent and pulled him up as well. The table would definitely support their weight, it was expertly crafted antique mahogany.
It was only late last night,
He was out there seeking
Then he called you up to check that you were waiting by the phone
All the world's a candy store
He's been trick-or-treating
When it comes to true love girl, with him there's no one home
Trent was getting his sassy on, as Nick let him take over vocals.
You can find somebody better, girl
He can only make you cry
You deserve somebody better, girl
He's c-cold as ice
As cold as ice, he's cold as ice
Stay away from him, girl!
Trent had sung this song to himself many, many times over the last several months, reminding himself that Sebastian had never really cared about him. It wasn't that he'd really expected Sebastian to, but he'd been a little naïve at first. Trent was back to full-on Sass Warbler now, though, a strong, independent Warbler who didn't need a man, especially not one as slippery as Sebastian.
C-c-c-cold hearted ooh, ahh, ahh
C-c-c-cold hearted sssnake
He' a cold hearted snake!
Blaine clapped enthusiastically.
"You guys are awesome!" he exclaimed. "Why didn't you ever tell me to shove it and try your own songs before?"
"Us, tell you to shove it?" Nick asked, jumping lightly off the table. "Wes would've had us disemboweled."
"Warm-ups are not musical presentations, they're warm-ups," Hunter sighed. "Please exit the table before you hurt yourselves." Jeff frowned.
"They put me in charge of climbing on furniture while Blaine was gone, I'm perfectly safe up here, I assure you," Jeff said. Trent took Nick's offered hand and hopped off the table, however.
"We're doing choreography rehearsals again tonight, gentlemen, if we could please…" Hunter announced.
"Wait, where is Sebastian?" Blaine asked.
"Doesn't matter, I made up the dance, he just likes to take credit," Jeff said. "From the top of Whistle, boys…"
Twenty minutes later, Blaine was getting concerned. No one had told him Sebastian liked to go to Scandals and drink his body weight in liquor. But Hunter, being Hunter, and being slightly concerned about Sebastian even though he tried to pretend like he wasn't, did let Blaine leave to 'find' Sebastian.
Later in the evening, Nick and Jeff walked with Hunter back to their dorm.
"I sincerely hope you two know what you're doing," Hunter told Nick and Jeff.
"What?" Nick asked.
"If your Blaine can't live up to his hype–" Hunter began.
"Well, start saying that in front of Sebastian and you won't have anything to worry about," Jeff said.
"Because he'll kill you," Nick clarified.
"I sincerely doubt that," Hunter laughed.
"Wouldn't he?" Jeff asked, giving Hunter a sassy face.
"Don't sass me, mister, that's Trent's job," Hunter retorted.
"I think Sebastian's rubbing off on you," Nick said.
"He is not," Hunter mumbled.
"Well, when you exchange that much spit with someone, it's bound to happen eventually," Nick said, shrugging.
"Excuse me?" Hunter asked.
"What?"
"There is nothing going on between Sebastian and I," Hunter said, very seriously.
"Oh, right, not even remotely bicurious," Nick said, winking. "Gotcha. We won't tell, promise."
"Nicholas," Hunter said.
"What?"
"What was that song earlier?" Hunter asked.
"Fun?" Nick guessed.
"No, you were singing about Sebastian," Hunter said.
"Yeah."
"Was that a warning for Blaine or for me?"
"Whichever one of you is stupid enough to fall for him," Nick replied. He and Jeff ducked into their room, leaving Hunter standing in the hallway, dumbfounded. Fall for– Ridiculous. Hunter wasn't going to do anything of the sort!
Hunter fumbled with his keys, letting himself into his room and taking a few deep breaths, realizing it was empty. Good, more time to clear his mind, as long as he didn't end up having to pick up Sebastian and Blaine in a few hours.
Hunter didn't like Sebastian. He didn't really like him personally, and he didn't like him in any way that could be congruent with romantic. He merely enjoyed the other's company. He enjoyed having an attractive, fully-clothed friend in his bed to cuddle with like a really big cat.
Maybe Hunter should invest in an enormous stuffed animal or body pillow.
But they wouldn't have the same warmth as Sebastian.
Stop it.
Hunter pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Blaine.
"Hi," Blaine answered it on the third ring. He didn't sound impressed. Whether Sebastian had made a move on him, or he was just annoyed about the lack of a heads-up, Hunter didn't know.
"Did you pick him up?" Hunter asked. Blaine chose to ignore that question.
"Why didn't you tell me what was going on?" Blaine asked. 'I secretly liked it' was not a good answer. Think, Hunter, think.
"Honestly, I thought your return would fix the problem," Hunter said with a shrug, unseen by Blaine. And he had thought that. Fixed his own personal Sebastian problem – by pawning him off on Blaine.
"What do you do? Bring him back to the dorm and throw him in the shower?" Blaine asked.
"Not usually," Hunter said. "Sometimes – sometimes I… usually I let him sleep it off in my bed… with me, even though he's usually screwed at least two guys while he was there. He's very cavalier. But really at the end of the day, he just wants someone to put their arms around him and tell him everything will be alright."
"Well, he does have an… erratic lifestyle," Blaine sighed.
"It started after you came here," Hunter said. "I don't know what he's trying to prove, really."
"I know," Blaine said. "He's not the arrogant cocky bastard I used to know."
"Did you like him?" Sebastian asked. He and Blaine were at Blaine's house. Blaine was in the hall, talking on the phone. Sebastian had stumbled his way across Blaine's bedroom over to him. "The jerk, I mean?"
"Get back in bed," Blaine said sternly. "I'm serious. I have to go," Blaine added to Hunter, hanging up the phone.
"Scheming, adventurous, don't-give-a-damn, blackmailing, douchebag me," Sebastian said. "Did you like him?"
Hunter liked him, that was for sure.
It was hard to sleep now, without the presence of someone else in the room with him. And besides that, Hunter seemed to have done something to egregiously offend Mr. Puss and the cat wouldn't join Hunter for cuddles, instead choosing to sleep all the way up in Blaine's bed.
At 5am, the sun was up (actually no it wasn't, because it was November, but just pretend, shh) and so was Hunter, rolling out of bed, not awake despite the many hours of sleep he thought he'd be able to get, not realizing how bad his dependent personality disorder really apparently was. There was no time to dwell on that. He pulled on his sneakers, trying not to think of what Sebastian and Blaine might be up to wherever they were (Hunter assumed Blaine's house). Was this jealousy? Oh, man, Hunter was a dead man.
He took a longer run than usual, just to try and get his thoughts sorted out, but he was no better composed when he sat down in first period (and noted Sebastian's absence with a heavy heart – wait what?) than he had been the night before.
If Hunter swore, or was ever considering starting, he thought now might be a good time. Blaine and Sebastian were skipping school to do heaven knows what– Hunter let his imagination carry him away.
Blaine showed up to third period classes, Hunter saw him walking to the dining hall with Trent and Nick after. Hunter skipped lunch, just as he had breakfast, and went back to their room. There was Sebastian, laying in Hunter's bed, sleeping like an angel. Hunter walked over to him and pushed some stray hairs from his face. It was clear he'd taken a shower just before crawling into Hunter's bed.
Sebastian's eyes fluttered open, smiling when he realized who it was, and reaching his arm out to hold Hunter's forearm.
"I missed you last night," Sebastian murmured.
"I missed you too," Hunter said before he could stop himself. He pulled his arm free of Sebastian's grasp lightly so he could take his hand, interlacing their fingers. He wasn't sure what had made him want to do that, he just knew that he did. "Have you finally learned your lesson?"
"Yeah," Sebastian said softly. "You won't always be there for me." Hunter's heart sunk into his intestines. "So I should stop doing stupid shit just to make you come after me." This wasn't the answer he had been expecting, but it was a little comforting nonetheless. "I don't suppose you want to blow off next period and snuggle with me?"
"No, I shouldn't, and neither should you," Hunter said.
"But you want to," Sebastian smiled.
"Yeah," Hunter admitted.
"So do I," Sebastian admitted.
"Even after spending the night with Blaine?" Hunter asked, tentatively.
"Yeah." Hunter's mouth went dry at that thought, so simple, but so, so wrong. He'd stood up before he'd realized it, but Sebastian was still holding his hand. "What's wrong?"
"This," Hunter said. "Everything about this." Sebastian sighed, swinging his legs out of Hunter's bed to sit up.
"I just knew you were going to be like this," Sebastian said. "You couldn't just be cool about it."'
"I can't be cool about it, Sebastian," Hunter said. "I can't do this. Not with you, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you have no idea, but I can't."
"But you want to," Sebastian said, a little hurt.
"But I can't," Hunter repeated. He dropped his grip on Sebastian's hand, suddenly overwhelmed by the feelings he would never let himself act on.
"Okay," Sebastian said, still obviously hurt, but he did understand. "That's fine." He extended his right hand to Hunter, as opposed to the left one he'd just had entwined in Hunter's right. "Still friends, though?"
"Definitely still friends," Hunter said, accepting the handshake and smiling. He breathed heavily, sitting down in his desk chair. "Why are you in my bed?"
"Smells like you," Sebastian shrugged.
"And that's appealing to you?" Hunter asked.
"I don't know," Sebastian said. "I just sort of wanted to, so I did. I didn't think you'd mind."
"I- I don't mind," Hunter said quickly. "Nap in my bed all you want."
"You just want your bed to smell like me," Sebastian deduced.
"Right, you caught me," Hunter said sarcastically. "Your scent is intoxicating."
"If you're joking, that sort of hurts. I spent a lot of time picking out this flavor of soap," Sebastian said, in mock hurt.
"No, your soap is fine," Hunter said, rolling his eyes. "It's like… what, papayas or something?"
"Yeah," Sebastian said. He stood up from Hunter's bed, stretching, and began to look for clean pieces of uniform to put on.
"Bas?" Hunter asked.
"Yeah?" Sebastian replied automatically.
"Have you ever been turned down before?" Hunter asked tentatively.
"I think this is technically more like dumping, but yeah, I have," Sebastian said. "Some guys aren't flexible, and I get that." Hunter gave a half-snort. "No, really, I do. I don't just force myself on people, that would be crazy unethical. I want to have fun not a world record. I've never been dumped before, though, so this is kind of new for me."
"Can't get dumped if you've never had a relationship," Hunter said, getting up and moving to his dresser, the top drawer of which was still filled with Sebastian's stash of tequila and various snack foods.
"Well…" Sebastian said, teetering on the edge of explaining something it was clear he didn't want to talk about. "That's not entirely true. Trent and I were in a relationship for a while there, but we sort of mutually broke it off and descended to Warblers with benefits, and then just friends."
"I really wish I could, but–" Hunter began.
"I know, Hunt, I know," Sebastian said, pulling his tie on over his head and wrenching it to the size of his neck. "I know, it's okay. I understand. I'm gonna stick with Blaine."
"I hope the two of you are happy together," Hunter said. "I really do."
"And I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors?" Sebastian said, but it was more like a question. "Hunt, we live together, we see each other every day, stop acting like one of us is dying or something. Goodbye isn't for months."
"I guess I just…" Hunter began, his hand subconsciously reaching out towards Sebastian, who seemed to gravitate in and take it, lacing their fingers together again, pulling Hunter's hand up to his mouth and kissing it. "I don't know, things have changed, and it's going to be different."
"Yeah, but how much different could it really be?" Sebastian asked playfully sticking out his tongue in Hunter's direction as he dropped their grip to put his blazer on. "Come on, we'll be late for class."
A/N: This is rated M, right? Okay cool. I regret nothing!~
Everyone like this chapter? Yeah? Coolio.
Next chapter: I rename the story 'Sebastian Has Sex With Everybody': Sebeats, Huntbastian, Seblaine! Whee~~ (And a fair amount of Niff for the haters~)
Leave me a review, because I love you all.
Samantha.
PS: Riker's Hips. (More on this to come forth. Just wait for Chapter 25.)