Yeah so I published two chapters today, 20 and 21…just in case you get confused or something lol.

Today was the day that I have been looking forward to and dreading all at the same time. I was dressed in a navy baby doll dress that was v-neck with 3 quarter sleeves, knee length maternity dress that complimented my pregnant figure well. I had to thank Alice later for the early graduation present.

I pull on some silver ballet flats and checked my hair, which was down in soft curls. Alice curled it earlier today. I had a little make up on. I fix a few stray hairs before grabbing my bag that had my cap gown in.

I head downstairs which my dad was waiting and he smiles "you look nice, who did you hair?" He had an early shift today at the station and had not known Alice came over to help me get ready and I was not about to tell him she did because how was I going to explain the daughter of the man I had an affair with is still my BFF. I joke, "I am surprised you noticed my hair! Has me living here, raise your estrogen level?"

My dad cheeks slightly turn red and then jokes, "Well I have noticed I been wondering if my plaid shirts go with white tennis shoes or my brown boots ….maybe our time apart can help me turn back into a man."

I laugh and then warn, "You better at least eat right. I have enough food in the freezer to last you for a few months all you have to do is defrost in the microwave."

My dad says as we get into his car, "You know Bella, I am capable of taking care of myself…"

I say, "I know I just worry sometimes. Now that I am not cooking that you may opt to going to eating out which bad for your heart. That is why I stock up enough food in the freezer to last you a few months. All you have to do is defrost."

My dad sighs, " Yeah defrost..I got it. I do appreciate it Bella but please don't worry about me. All I am concern about is you get through this program and come back home."

My heart sank because that will not be the case, I wasn't coming back.

I didn't say much after that and watch my beloved red truck disappear in the distance as we head to the school. That will also be the last time I see my poor truck.

My dad asked as we pull into the school, "Are you okay Bells? You haven't said much since we left the house."

I nod, "Yeah just nervous about graduation and everything I guess."

My dad smiles, "It'll be over before you know it."

I smile, "I hope so. See you after graduation" I then give him a hug before leaving the car. I had to get in the band room where we were all to meet before walking out.

Graduation wasn't as painful as I suspected. It was a big day so they were too distracted to really pay attention to me. As we finally were done and I start to walk towards my dad, Angela stops me and says, "I just wanted to say bye!"

I smile weakly trying to hold back the tears and give her a hug, "Bye Angela."

She laughs, "Don't have to sound so gloomy, I'll be around when you get back and I am serious about being roommates!"

I smile, "Yeah totally. I'll give you a call when I get back." I was lying because I wasn't coming back and it was hard to not sound so cryptic.

She grins real big and then says as she looks over my shoulder at her parents, "I need to go and take pictures with my family but just take care and if you need to talk to anyone then just call me. Okay?"

I nod, "I will" and then give her another hug, and then we say our byes once again and she walks towards her parents. I turn around to see my father behind me. He grins and gives me a hug. "So proud of you Bella."

I smile, "Thanks dad. I guess we can go now and head to the airport."

Dad nods, "Okay but Billy and Jacob came too and want to say their good byes too."

I wasn't looking forward to seeing them because they are against everything that I am doing right now.

Dad leads to where they are and they pay along like they were happy for me. Dad though excuse himself seeing an old friend and Billy followed him.

Jacob say in all seriousness, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I nod, "Yes,"

Jake warns, "Once you get to Alaska there will be no turning back. You will be essentially dead to the rest of the world."

Wow thanks Jake for being so morbid. Not like this day is tough or anything.

I say, "Yes Jake I understand. Why do you know how I am going to die?"

Jake's face hardens and nods, "Yes the Cullen's have been letting me know how everything will go down. I just want to make sure you will be safe…."

I say, "I'll be safe…probably safer than I am without them. Jacob my time was probably up when that van was heading towards me…"

Jake says in almost a mumble, "I could protect you….."

I smile and say, "You could but no matter how much you think you love me…you don't….not like that…if you did you would have already imprinted on me….You will find your true love."

Jake says now desperately, "Don't do this. If you are doing this for the baby…..then I'll help….."

I say putting my hand on my stomach, "Jacob we have talked about this…"

Jacob sighs and says, "I just wanted to try one more time to convince you to stay."

I smile, "Well thanks for trying. I appreciate that you care…"

He says, "They agree in letting me come up to Alaska and check on you."

I smile, "It would be great to still be able to see you."

He nods but doesn't smile, "Yes….I suppose so….still I rather you stay."

I say, "I know and I do wish things were different…"

He then leans in and gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, "I don't care what you say I will always love you."

I say, "I will always love you too Jacob. You're my best friend."

Jacob says as we break the hug, "Always the friend…."

Dad and Billy then comes up and Dad says, "Bella we should get to the Airport."

I give Billy and Jacob both hugs and say my byes. I was relieve that was one bye that wasn't a forever bye…Jacob was going to come up to Alaska to make sure I am "safe".

The drive to the airport was long and painful….I didn't say much. It was much like when I moved to Forks minus the painful part. The quiet drive with the awkward conversations from Seattle to Forks…wouldn't trade that moment for anything.

We finally got to the airport and I was dreading saying good bye to my father. We make our way to the airport and get my boarding pass and then we stand there a few minutes awkwardly. I then throw my arms around his neck. "I love you dad. I am going to miss you so much." I say as the tears pour down my cheeks.

My dad said rubbing my back, "It will only be a few months, Bells."

I say still hugging him, "I know but I will still miss you." I was sobbing now.

My dad said pulling away so he could look at me and he puts his hand on his shoulders, "Are you having doubts about putting up your child for adoption is this why you are so upset…."

I shake my head still crying.

My dad says, "Because if you want to keep the baby, I will support you. Don't do this to make me happy."

I was shocked that he had said those words but that was not the reason why I was crying and I wish I could tell him the truth.

I say, "No dad that isn't it. I'm just going to miss you…..and a kind of hormonal right now."

My dad laughs pulling me in a hug, "I'll miss you too Bells."

I knew it would be better to say goodbye now then prolonging this…it's just going to make it worst.

I say, "I better get in line for security."

My dad smiles sadly, "Alright. Bye."

One last hug and I say, "Good bye dad. I love you so much. Remember that okay?"

My dad gives me a weird look and says, "Okay I'll remember that and remember that I love you too, okay?"

I weakly smile and wipe the tears from my eyes and nod, "Okay. I will. Bye." I say turning around walking toward security and my dad says, "Bye Bells." As I walk away.

As I was in line to go through security I was sobbing and people were giving me weird looks one lady asked if I was okay. I finally got through security and Carlisle was waiting for me on the other side and he pulls me in his arms as I sobbed into his expensive crisp white button up shirt.

He says, "We don't have to do this…"

I was tired of people telling me that because I knew what I wanted but first have to get through painful parts.

I say sobbing, "No I want to do this…I want to be with you."

He says as he pulls away and wipes the tears from my eyes, "Okay well let's head to our terminal."

He grabs my carry on and puts it on his shoulder and then grabs my hand as we head to the terminal.

There was quite a few kids at the terminal looked like a school group. They looked to be around 13 and Carlisle squeezes my hand tighter, knowing that seeing all these people and knowing their faith was not an easy task. I just wanted to scream out, DON'T GET ON THE PLANE, IT'S GOING TO CRASH." But they probably think I was psycho and be escorted by security and then thrown in the mental institution.

We sit there and I look at my watch. Only had thirty minutes until we were boarding. I lay my head on Carlisle's shoulder and say in a low whisper, "Your sure there is nothing we can do?"

Carlisle says sadly, "I am afraid not."

I my heart sank for everybody in the room and Carlisle asked concern, "Are you okay?"

I say, "To be honest this the worst day of my life but after we get all this over...then things will be better."

Carlisle kisses my hand, "I promise after this horrible day I will make it up to you."

I say, "Just being with you for the rest of my life is enough."

Carlisle kisses my head, "I love you Bella."

About that time they announce that we will be boarding and I asked panic, "How are we going to do this?"

He says, "Just follow my lead. Okay…"

I nod.

Carlisle made sure we were near the end of the line and our tickets were coach, so the First Class people were already on.

We hand in our boarding passes and we go through the tunnel leading to the entrance of the plane but then Carlisle stops and bends down like he is tying his shoe. Everyone walks around him until it is just us, he the lifts me up bridle style and says, "Hold on tight and close your eyes." I have heard those words before from Edward, so I was sure Carlisle was going to run full speed. So I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head in his shoulder.

I assume by the speed his was running that no one could see him zooming by. Before I could blink I was strapped in the front passenger side seat of his car.

During car ride I was too caught up in my thoughts to talk, Carlisle held my hand tightly and I knew he understood I needed time to grasp everything, so he kept silent. I soon fell asleep.

I was awaken from my deep sleep, with a gentle shake and my eyes flutter open looking up at his angelic face, he smiles, "We are here Bella."

I open my eyes and rub my eyes trying to get them to focus. The house was bigger than the Cullen's and looked by the architectural that it was built at least a century ago. It had a porch that surrounded the whole house, white with blue shutters. Not a house that you would vision vampires living in.

I could see a house out in the distance which I assume was Esme's. It made me nervous because I know with her sensitive vampire hearing that she heard us pull up.

Carlisle was at my door in an instant open it and helping me out the door, about that time Alice runs out the house with huge grin on her house, "Bella!" she says wrapping her arms around my neck and I hug her back.

She pulls away and looks at me concern, "How are you?"

I say honestly, "It'll take time but I'm okay."

She grabs my hand and looks at Carlisle, "Eleazar wants to talk to you."

Carlisle nods and gives me a kiss on the cheek, "While I go and talk to Eleazar, why not have Alice give you a tour."

I smile looking at Alice, "That sounds wonderful."

Alice gives me the grand tour, the living room, game room, study, library, the science lab in the basement, the heated inside pool, and finally she pulls me in the kitchen, she says, "You can use this kitchen any time you please, we stocked it up with food….I figure you would rather cook for your self…though if not we could hire a cook…."

I say, "No I love cooking, so that is perfect."

Alice smiles, "Well I have one more room to show you and she pulls me to a door that was connected to the kitchen, she opens it and I walk in, Alice says, "This is your and Carlisle's bedroom…"

It beautiful of course, since it was decorated by Alice. The room was huge and I suppose that it was originally a dining room/ living area. In the far corner there was a king size bed with a white down bed spread. Then kind of in the middle of the room there was a flat screen tv, with a couch and love seat. Then near us was a small table and chairs.

I reply, "It's almost like an apartment."

Alice smiles, "That was what I was going for. You have a dining area so you can eat in peace, living area, sleeping area….I just want you to be comfortable and I know it may be hard to be comfortable here at first…"

I wrap my arms around her neck and say, "Oh thank you, Alice! I love it!"

She grins and then grabs my hand, "I'm not finish with your tour." She leads me inside the room and open's a door, "This is your bathroom." The bathroom was bigger than my bedroom back home. She then leads me to another door, "And this is the nursery…."

She opens the door. The room was painted yellow and decorated with stuff zebras and giraffes…I tear up and say, "Oh Alice…"

She smiles, "You didn't think I would have forgotten to build a nursery…."

I say wiping the tears from my face, "It's beautiful! I love it…"

Alice smiles and says, "I hope maybe this made a horrible a little better…."

I give her another hug and say, "It did! I love you so much Alice…"

She giggles and says, "So glad you like it!"

Maybe things won't be as awkward as I imagine living here.