AN: Just consoled myself after that Chemistry AP Exam with writing this chapter. Why do I do this to myself?
I also was a little disappointed by the lack of reviews from the last chapter. Was it really that bad? I have big ideas for the upcoming chapters, but I think the last chapter and this one are both needed to kind of build up to it. So maybe it was because there wasn't a lot going on. Or maybe I just suck at writing and I should just stop. Oh well. CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP. lol I'm so awkward.
So here's hoping to more responses yay! Review so I feel justified taking time out of my busy AP study time.
Happy 20th Birthday Alexander Ludwig!
Disclaimer: To my intense disappointment, I do not own any part of the Hunger Games universe.
Chapter 5
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After the crowd has calmed down, Cato and I sit down on the couch facing Caesar. I can't believe I lost control over myself like that. I smooth down my dress a little foolishly, releasing my grip on Cato's hand. He frowns at me, and picks up my hand again. The Capitolites eat it up, and Caesar looks at us coyly.
"So Clove and Cato… congratulations on your shared victory. Who would have known you two would have made it out together?"
"I did, Caesar. I didn't doubt it for a second, not after Claudius Templesmith made that announcement," boasts Cato. I snort, and Caesar notices.
"Ms. Feldspar, you didn't have the same confidence in a victory?"
Cato squeezes my hand. I raise my eyebrow at him, confused by this display of affection. He smiles back at me, but his eyes are wide with a warning. Play along Clove.
I knew something was up. My mind is racing like I am back in the arena, and I figure I just have to trust Cato again.
I look out into the crowd of eager Capitol citizens. I love having them wrapped around my finger.
"No I didn't. But now I've learned my lesson. With the Capitol's love, nothing is impossible!"
The crowd roars my name, Cato's name, and I flash a beatific smile.
Inside though, I am cringing. It's true. I've only survived because they allowed me to- now I owe them my life. I'll never be free.
While I'm deep in thought, Cato and Caesar exchange a few more jokes before the lights go down and a screen is lowered to the stage. I freeze. Every year, the victor is forced to relive all the most dramatic moments of the Games. I can't think of worse than this right now. Watching my near-death experiences. Watching them all die again- wasn't once enough? I sink into the couch, safe from the Capitol's eyes in the dark, and hope the three hours pass quickly. Cato squeezes my hand again, and I'm glad that I at least have him with me.
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During the first strains of the Capitol anthem, Cato whispers quickly in my ear. "Listen carefully. The Capitol's not happy with us. We made them look foolish with that waterfall stunt apparently. Brutus and Enobaria want us to play up the helpless lover's angle. Play along, and we'll be safe."
I keep my eyes trained on the screen, trying to process all the new information. I dazedly watch all 24 of us around the Cornucopia, waiting for sixty seconds to run out.
Things start to click into place. The girly outfit, the" lovers' reunion"- they're all attempts to keep the Capitol happy with us.
I open my mouth to ask why the Capitol sees two teenagers as threats, but Cato just shakes his head. "Later," he promises. On screen, I'm at the Bloodbath, throwing knives at Everdeen. I grimace and wonder how long this ruse can last.
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In typical Capitol fashion, they have edited the Games footage to focus a disproportionate amount of time on me and Cato. Every look, every hand brush is a monumental occasion. They gloss over the deaths of all the tributes unless it was particularly entertaining.
I'm forced to watch myself kill tribute after tribute. Sometime after I kill that crippled boy, I try to close my eyes and block it all out. But it's no good. The screams are just amplified, and their pleading faces swim in front of me endlessly.
I instead try to think of District 2. The kids' faces when they get that Victory Feast. My mother finally being proud of me.
Suddenly, I hear my own voice amplified through the theater. Oh no. I know what's coming. I don't want them to show this, they can't show this, it's stupid and embarrassing, an-
"Look Cato. There's only a few of us left. Marvel's gone, there's no point in keeping this alliance. We better split up now."
Cato sighs. "Fair enough. I'd wish you good luck, but we both know that wouldn't be entirely true."
In real time, the Capitol laughs heartily, as if the hopeless words of an 18-year old are some sort of comedy act.
I blink, a little hurt by his bluntness. "All right," I reply crisply, gathering up my supplies. "Well it was fun while it lasted, best be getting on my-." I am cut off by Cato's lips.
It's quiet in the arena when we both separate, panting, looking at each other. My mind is racing as I study him.
"I'll miss you Clove." he whispers, and there's an unfamiliar pang in my chest. He's always been by my side. My best ally. After a few awkward moments, he asks, "Well…?"
Detachedly, I whisper, "I'll miss you too Cato." My voice breaks a little. "But hopefully, I'll never have to see you again." And with that, I turn on my heel, and head into underbrush.
Leave it to the Capitol to take an almost genuine moment and completely ruin it for me. Now I'll always be remembered as the love-struck Career. How pathetic.
I groan, and I swear I can feel Cato smirking at me. For him, this is all one big joke. Frustrated, I rip my hand away from his.
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Things just get worse from there. The Capitol has our reunion, after Claudius Templesmith's first rule revision, on film too. They also have District 12's, and that makes me even more upset than my own private moments.
That boy was so in love with her, and she had feelings for him too- I can see it.
But where are they now? On their way back home, nailed into coffins. Love's a sham, a weakness. I'm impressed that Twelve turned it into sponsorships, but ultimately, even the illusion of love will only slow you down.
I wince when they announce the Feast. I already know what's going to happen. Thresh, Girl on Fire, Lover Boy, Foxface- they all die. It's like watching a horror movie that you can never quite get used to.
We reach the climactic end of the Games. Claudius Templesmith's second rule change blares out, just as chilling the second time as the first. I sit up in my seat, suddenly curious to see Cato's reactions
After I run off like a scared rabbit, Cato grabs his backpack and runs off after me. But his injured leg forces him into a slow jog. Over the sound of his crunching footsteps, I hear him muttering to himself. "Kill her Cato. She's not worth it. Kill her."
Even though it's what I expected, it stings a little bit. After all, Cato is pumping himself up in hopes of killing me. Awkward. The closer he gets to the waterfall, the more his resolve lessens though. By the time he tackles me, he's more desperate than bloodthirsty.
The Capitol completely dramatizes our decision to jump. Emotional music swells in the background, montages of our "love story" flicker during the pauses. By the time we kiss that last time, I'm hypnotized- I myself almost believe that we are in love.
I squeeze my eyes shut and remind myself that it's just the Capitol brainwashing me, that I don't, won't fall in love with Cato. It'd be the death of me. It's just the Capitol messing with you
But why? Why are we so important to keep under control?
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When we jump from the ledge, I finally understand Snow's problems.
Cato and I look heaven-bound, somehow more innocent than we have ever truly been. If I had been watching this at home, I would have been struck by this image, these Careers-turned-lovers plummeting to their death. Our faces scream of desperation, and more importantly, of hope.
I understand now. We have gotten the best of them, and they can't let the Districts know that. Unknowingly, Cato and I may have started something even the Capitol can't control.
After all, hope is the only thing stronger than fear.
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Later, when President Snow places two crowns on me and Cato's heads, his eyes cold and challenging, I know he feels exactly the same way.
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