High Fructose Gluttony

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"You know, it is rather rude to show up somewhere uninvited. I believe even humans respect that custom…though that may not apply to lunatics."

Chell smirked as she entered the ever foreboding half-darkness of the queen of Aperture's throne room. She could always trust GLaDOS to throw a disparaging remark her way any time she paid a visit, though there was still a lingering suspicion in her mind that she looked forward to having the company. The door was always left open, wasn't it?

"Excuse me for the short notice, then," she replied sarcastically, holding the box in her hands closer. "It's just that I had gotten so busy with work and school that I almost completely forgot what today was. Didn't even think about it until earlier this week, actually."

"Your date of birth," the AI stated, not even so much as flinching.

The slightest bit surprised, Chell's lips curved into a lopsided grin. "You seriously remembed?"

"I don't forget things." GLaDOS extended herself closer to the human, miraculously not doing so in a threatening manner. "My memory can archive far more than all of the humans in (subject hometown here), in case that slipped your mind."

She paused, shaking her head slightly. "And besides that, I recall it was exactly one year ago today that you foolishly returned here despite my explicit orders to never do so."

"That's exactly it. I thought maybe I would make this a birthday tradition." Chell had sat herself down upon the cold metal ground, at once digging into her book bag for a paper tablecloth covered in colorful balloon patterns. She spread it out on the floor, followed by a pack of candles and some equally cheesy birthday paper plates and plastic forks. "Except it is kind of a drag that you can't share my cake with me."

"I'm sure you can consume enough for the both of us, given your insatiable appetite," GLaDOS answered dryly, her optic watching the girl's meticulous actions of decorating the cake with candles. "I see you've picked chocolate this year. Pity, considering I could have made a much better one."

Chell fidgeted with a lighter a few times before finally getting a flame. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I don't think I really want a cake with a deadly needle driver in it. Or fish-shaped sediment."

Unexpectedly, the AI let a soft laugh escape her. It was similar to her ominous, evil laughter of sadistic enjoyment, but for once, she did so without needing to subject someone to physical or emotional torment.

"You aren't sure of your actual age, isn't that correct?" she asked in a gentle, equally unusual tone. "Twenty-eight years, excluding the time you spent in long-term relaxation."

The woman glanced up at her from the now-lit candles, another smile tugging at her expression. "I thought it was somewhere around there, but I have to lie about the year anyway since there's no way I'm telling anyone the truth about my life."

For a moment Chell remained silent, before stating purposefully into the empty room, "Well, Happy Birthday to me, then!"

And the candles went out in one breath.

"Did you make your customary human wish?" GLaDOS asked snarkily, her head quirked to the side in a mock-questioning gesture.

Chell bit her lip to hide a childish grin. "I sure did. Now, where's the confetti you promised me all that time ago?"

The AI shifted her posture in a kind of shrugging motion. "Fresh out, I'm afraid. You'll have to make do without."

"I've done plenty of that. Can't imagine it'll hurt to go without one more time." Her tone was somewhat sad as she took a bite of cake, eyes looking off into a distant corner of the room. "Now that is some damn good cake, if I do say so myself."

GLaDOS had withdrawn herself somewhat, some of the aggression leaving her at the mention of 'making do without.' She had a begrudging infection of guilt when it came to her past transgressions toward the former test subject, and although she concealed it well, Chell had become much better at reading the signs in her tone and mannerisms.

The thought stirred up a memory from a few months past. A bit on the cocky side, the woman had accepted an off-the-cuff challenge for a few rounds of testing. GLaDOS had been absolutely certain that her physical and problem-solving abilities had suffered from lack of use, and Chell had been just as certain that she could solve anything the supercomputer threw at her.

And she had indeed done quite well…at least until she came to a particularly difficult test. In her overconfidence, she had misplaced a portal and nearly ended up at the bottom of an acid pit. It was only just in the nick of time that a platform rose up to break her fall; she was anticipating a smug I-was-right speech from GLaDOS, but instead got an extremely cross lecture about her own carelessness and stupidity before the conversation ended in an utmost refusal to allow her any more testing for the time being.

Of course, GLaDOS being who she was, she had eventually threatened her with neurotoxin for pursuing the subject. Wasn't it just like her to express her concern over a near-fatal incident by threatening her with death?

Still, it came as a bit of a surprise to Chell. Granted, she knew GLaDOS was being softer toward her since realizing her connection to Caroline. Chell had supposed it was out of a sort of respect for the woman's memory that the AI treated her with less force these days. As it had turned out, there was a genuine—loving, maybe?—emotion behind their relationship. In the end, GLaDOS seemed to have no trouble assuming a maternal role. Not a very conventional, warm mother role, but one that involved a certain protectiveness all the same.

As she finished off the last of her slice of cake, she couldn't help still feeling a bit amazed at the whole thing. It was almost as surprising as the fact that GLaDOS had saved her life, treated her practically fatal wounds, and actually released her to the surface. Voluntarily, no less. The flimsy Caroline excuse just did not hold up. Even a million Carolines flooding her database wouldn't have stopped her from getting the revenge she had been itching for.

"You humans are always mystifying to me," GLaDOS interrupted her thoughts suddenly, a more amused and genuine tone to her normally bitter voice. "Celebrating your own approach toward death. It's not an issue I'll ever have to face, of course, but it does strike me as odd that you would view aging as a positive process."

"Oh, it's not really that." Chell shook her head, pulling her mind back to the situation at hand. "We just look at it as getting wiser and more experienced in the world. We'll all die someday, but it's what we do here that counts, and the people we meet. We probably will all meet up again on the other side, anyway. So it doesn't really bother me to think about getting old one day."

"That day will come fairly soon, you know. For me more so than you." Her voice had become pensive, and with it her optic dimmed in thought.

"You mean you're going to miss me?" Chell laughed, setting her empty plate down and scooting over toward the massive AI. She took her head in her hands gently, though she did get an uncomfortable glare out of it before GLaDOS finally resigned and allowed her touch. It was surprising how light she was, though she probably did lose half of her parts in the explosion.

"I'm not going to leave you alone, you know. Someday I'm going to have kids and grandkids, and you can meet them too. And their children after them. Aperture runs in the family, after all," she finished wryly, pressing her forehead above the AI's optic. GLaDOS flinched in obvious distaste, but she still didn't move to pull away. Human contact of the affectionate kind still took getting used to for her, especially with her already aloof personality.

"More murderous humans in my facility? What a delightful prospect," she groaned.

"Someday you're going to join me up there, too." Chell had taken to brushing her fingers over the cold metal casing, a fond smile on her face. "Even if you don't think so."

"What, as in your primitive human beliefs of an afterlife?" GLaDOS practically scoffed, her optic roaming up to stare irritably at the human clinging to her. "I refuse to consider anything so far removed from science, you'll understand. But even if I were to entertain the possibility, virtually every human religion would consider me condemned for eternity. I very much doubt I would ever join you. I'm not even a human in the first place, after all." Her voice was flat and unamused as she said it. Perhaps even a little sulky.

"Maybe so," Chell shrugged. "But I believe very strongly that you have a soul. You're intelligent, and you're flawed just like a human. You're not unredeemable, and if someone up there is keeping score, I think you might just have a good case for defending the things you've done in your life."

A tugging from behind alerted the human to the fact that she was being firmly—if gently—pried off by a claw. Much like an irritated pet, GLaDOS had her fill of affection and sentimentality for the day. "In any case, I imagine it will be a very long time before I have to do any spiritual explorations. I am still alive, at least for now."

"And I will be for plenty of time to come, too," Chell added, smiling. "So be nice to me, okay?"

Unsurprisingly, she only received an annoyed "hmph" as an answer. It wasn't long though before the AI glanced back over at her, a slightly less hateful tone to her voice when she spoke. "I don't have a customary gift to bestow upon you, just so you are aware. Short of a few thousand companion cubes, that is."

"I left the last one in the corn field," she replied with a sardonic chuckle. "I didn't want to walk back into civilization carrying that thing. It was covered in third degree burns, anyway. I wouldn't be opposed to making another friend, if you have one to spare."

"Wish granted," GLaDOS said flatly, just as a cube fell out of a Vital Apparatus Vent near the door to her chamber. But in a more serious tone, she added, "And I won't force you to burn this one, if it's any consolation."

Chell examined the cube with some skepticism, the object re-awakening memories of old suspicions. "It better not have a camera on it. Or explosives. Or shoot bullets at me."

"Don't give me any ideas," she answered with a slightly exasperated tone. "But honestly, if you're not dead now, do you really think I'd wait this long to kill you?"

The woman answered this question with a dry stare, clearly an indication of "I wouldn't put it past you."

GLaDOS could only lower her head in disgust. "Oh, just shut up and eat your cake."

And this, Chell decided, was probably as close to a 'Happy Birthday' as she was going to hear from her.

A/N: I love friendship between these two. And family-ness. Anyway, reviews are really truly appreciated, it does make my day you know!