Chapitre 1

Lay down her bed in the dawn, her head on the pillow, Anne look at the wall in front of her in the darkness of the bedroom liften up by the first gleams of the day, she recall of her worses memories, four years before.

After her second miscarriage, Henry have fall out of love with her, she had feel it as a stab in her heart, while he turned his back to her, letting her alone with her tears, feeling a unspeakable pain, a thousandfold worse than the pain to had lost her child.

A few days later, she have try to speak with him, yet feeling that it was useful, begging for a second chance has been useful to nothing, it have only make him hate her until decide on a annulement of their marriage and he have soon get it.

She see her again leaving the palace, with a few her servents carrying her luggages, under everyone's glances in a deadly silence, no one dared to talk, even her ennemies, she walk slowly her head high, dignifiant and mute, looking straight in front of her while her chin tremble.

Then once in the carriage have roll out the court, she have lost the strenght to refrain her tears and have collapse lay down the seat, crying as a child, she can feel again the sensation of the leather of the seat rubbing her cheek and feel in her mouth the bitter and salty taste of the tears flowing along her face, entering her mouth as she wailed.

She have know the taste of the tears since she mourned constantly while her first times in her castle in her marquisate, later she have recover, seeming to feel better, but even while talking, smiling, even laughing with her servents, all what she felt was a huge tiredness of live that growed up slowly, she had yet imagine to slash her wrist's veins in taking her bath.

But her brother, George, have come to comfort and consolate her a long moment and have talk to her about Elizabeth, telling that her daughter needed her mother and that she had to remain alive and strong for being there for her, that she still would be able to see her, it was the first time that Anne seen a light in the darkness.

Her daughter needed her love and her protection, especially in her situation of royal bastard and she had to being there for her, so she gathered the little of energie and of fire that she was still had in her being for go to visit her daughter and obtain the governess's allowance for it.

Anne feel her heart ache in recalling of the first time she seen again her daughter, she hardly recognized her, her glance was dull, her air sombre, her gestures slow and without enthousiasme, her voice blank , the fire seemed to have leave this little body, making her exactly look like her mother .

But soon both of their face have ligthen up and Elizabeth have run in her mother's opened arms, they have hugged each other tightly, Anne feeled relive, the joy to being again together have a bit weaken the sorrow, but after a few hours of happiness, at the twilight, she had to leave and it has been a drama.

Tourning to the window, Anne's eyes fill with tears as she relive the moment of the separation, in her arms, Elizabeth embracing her tightly cried, wailed and begged her for don't leave, to take her with her in her castle, saying that she had to stay because she will maybe never see her again.

Anne, as feared as her daughter to don't see her again, cryed too, tryed to reassure her of her best, to hardly finding the words, her voice trembling, she promised to try to see her as often as possible.

It hadn't been easy, the governess lady Bryan was feared, she don't knowed if Anne had the right to see her daughter, she feared it could maybe him angry, she don't wanted problems , but Anne was determined, she have insist again and again and she have obtain to come to see her daughter as often as she want.

At each of her visits, they spend precious moments together and felt better, but the separation was always a hard and Anne was sad to see Elizabeth in this poor household, treated with little consideration.

Anne have began to think that the better would be to have her daughter living with her in her castle, so she could make her daughter happier in giving her the love and the consideration that she needed and herself would be much happier and it have become her only aim.

She have insist toward the governess for Elizabeth and her come to live in her castle, knowing that there was risks, that it's could make the king angry against her and the governess have decide to ask to the king for his allowance, Anne waited with anxiety for his answer.

Lady bryan have bring her a letter of him answering to her question and he said yes, in a rather rude and uncaring way toward their daughter that have make Anne sad and worried for Elizabeth future, talking as if she was only her mother's daughter, no his.

He said her that from now on, she have the whole responsability practical and financial of her daughter life and education in all of it's aspects, even of the governess's salary, that he don't want to have to care of it nor to pay for anything about it, and that they can live wherever she want as long as she don't ask anything else to him.

And Anne did exactly what he wanted, she had got the only thing that she wanted, her daughter in her castle, under her care and protection, by her side everyday, nothing else was important than that and she hadn't anything else to ask.

Recallling of all this Anne sigh in thinking to Elizabeth's future, knowing that her duty was to make her daughter keep respect and love toward her father and please to him, in spite the nasty way he treated both of them, because it's him who will have the power to decide of her future, so she can't allow her daughter to dislike him nor to disappoint him.

Because some day, earlier or later, he would desire to see Elizabeth and it's also implicate that she would maybe have to see him also when he will come, she decide that if it happen, she musn't show her emotions, she must be respectuous, courteous but detached, discreet, nearly transparant and talk to him only if he speak to her.