Chapter 12

In the far reaches of the planet, the Northern Water Tribe was built around a secret cave at the north pole. In a land of ice and snow, that cave was different. It was lush and green, full of an everpresent warmth and vitality that had nothing to do with its physical location on the planet.

The Spirit Oasis was not a place completely on the earth. It was a place that straddled the planes of existence, having a physical presence at the Northern Water Tribe kingdom and in the spirit world at the same time. The warmth and lushness came from its proximity to the spirit, while its little koi residents existed for the most part in the world of the natural.

And as Sokka's influence in the spirit world had grown stronger, this influence had centered around the spiritual location of the oasis and the pond of crystal water that somehow existed in both planes. As this influence manifested itself as his favorite new bending invention—unmelting ice—it began to freeze the little pond of crystal water as well, trapping the little fish in its unmelting grip.

The moon fish still swam freely in her little portion of pond, but the ocean fish was not so lucky. Its side had frozen first, trapping him in a shrinking pocket of water until at last, the pocket had gone completely solid with him in its grip.

His gills tried to move, his eyes blinked against the dryness, but to no avail. He was well and truly locked into place. And he was suffocating.

He might have died if not for the attention of one of the oasis attendants, who happened to see the predicament he was in. The attendant grabbed a nearby basin and scooped up the still free moon fish from her shrinking pool of water, then turned his attention to breaking free the ocean fish.

The ice was hard—as hard as any ice outside at the frozen pole—but it was not unbreakable. And seeing the urgency of the situation as the black ocean fish grew still and unmoving, the attendant redoubled his efforts.

At last the ocean fish was free and had been slipped into the refreshing freedom of the crystal water in the basin where the moon fish swam happily. Soon his gills began to move again. But he did not awaken. Instead he lay quietly on his side in the water.

The moon fish circled him slowly, as if questioning him. Then she stopped and nudged him a little with the tip of her nose.

At her touch, he began to move.

Yue knelt helplessly next to Ocean as he lay there before her, so pale and still. Then he took in a short, sharp breath. Color began come into his skin as he finally began to breathe again and relief flooded through her.

But he did not awaken.

And the white lock of hair continued to fade into gray.

One of the best advantages of being a spirit, she decided, was the ability to go where one wished with only a thought. And she put her hands on Ocean's shoulders and willed them both off the hard, cold floor and onto her bed where at least he would be comfortable.

It was very strange to have Ocean in her bed. Very strange indeed.

He lay there quietly, his clothing of green and blue leather in sharp contrast to the silver and white silk and linen of her bedding. One hand dangled from the edge of the mattress and she took it in hers to move it back across his stomach so he would be more comfortable. As she did, she noticed that he wore a heavy red and gold ring on his third finger. The stone appeared to be the same red coral as his beautiful palace.

Now that he was breathing again, his hand had grown warmer, but it was still cool to the touch and she held it in both of hers to warm it again. His hand was strong and rough, not soft like hers. This was a hand that knew work and occupation.

But he was a spirit. What kind of occupation and work could he have? she wondered. She realized that there was so much about Ocean she did not know. She had no idea how hard it was for him to balance the world's oceans. She did not know how he spent his time otherwise. Did he live in the coral palace all the time or did he have other homes in the spirit world?

The one thing she did know from her touch on the moonlit lock of hair that drifted across her pillow was that he had no other consort. He was bound to the moon by a bond deeper than love, deeper than desire.

And she knew from that touch that he did love her.

And he did desire her.

But not at the cost he'd paid too many times before with Tui. Their names were La and Tui—push and pull. Give and take. But Tui had been much more about taking than giving and had spent her time pulling him close only to push him away again.

Yue could not do that. She could not be the inconstant moon. If she'd married Hahn, she would have been true to him, despite his nature. She would have been true to him and so very unhappy.

If instead, she'd somehow married Sokka, she would have been true to him as well.

But fate had decreed that they were not to be. Sokka was true to his wife, Suki. She knew when she'd kissed him that he was surprised by it, overwhelmed by it, but he did not return her kiss as she'd imagined he would.

Lian Shen had called Ocean a fool. As she watched him sleeping in her bed now, she knew that she was the fool. She was the one who'd cast aside what the spirits had given her as not only her place but as her privilege.

His skin was much warmer now and his breathing was more natural. She studied his strong jaw, his dark eyelashes. She saw both strength and vulnerability in his sleeping countenance.

She reached out to stroke his cheek, aware that if he were awake, he would stop her. He would hold her hand away from him.

But asleep in her bed, he could not stop her touch.

Then she leaned forward. Asleep in her bed, he could not stop her kiss either.

But she could stop herself. And she did. She'd kissed Sokka twice now without his permission, without considering the consequences of her touch.

To kiss Ocean now would be just as wrong, just as inconsiderate of his feelings. If she crossed that line with him, she would be making an eternal commitment to him. She would not make this commitment without his acceptance. She had to know that he wanted it as well.

And she knew that was how Tui and Lian Shen had done it. They kissed without feeling, without true emotion. They took lovers as out of vanity and boredom, out of sensual desire—out of lust.

But when she'd kissed Sokka, she'd meant it. And her kiss had marked him.

She'd kissed Sokka out of emotion. Out of love?

Yue considered that idea. Did she love Sokka? What did it mean to love someone?

Sokka had called out to her as he was fighting for his life after being washed overboard. But his desire had not been for her. Instead he'd asked Yue to take care of Suki and his children, to watch over them.

She began to realized the truth of Sokka's feelings. He did not love her. He was married. And if he'd been untrue to his wife in any way with Yue, Yue felt the blame rested completely on her.

And she was heartily sorry for it now.

She was still very glad she'd saved Sokka's life. She still cared about him very much. But she could not say that she loved him. Not in the sense that a wife loves her husband. That was never meant to be. Sokka was meant to be with Suki.

But what about her? Where was she meant to be?

She looked around the ivory tower, a place that felt as much like home as her old bedroom in the Nothern Watertribe city ever had. She looked out the window at the floating orb of the moon, always visible from the tower, and it called to her heart like a mother calling to her beloved child.

She was meant to be here. In this place. She was the moon. She knew that deep within her very spirit.

Then she looked down at the man beside her.

What about Ocean? He was the sea, consort of the moon. If she was the moon, then he was hers and she was his—as it had been from the beginning and as it was even now.

She ran her hand once more down his hair and felt the connection between them, a connection she'd never appreciated until now, never understood until now.

Suddenly she knew what she wanted. She wanted the feel of his arms around her. She wanted to be secure in the ocean's embrace. She wanted their dance of push and pull to be truly a physical dance between them and not just the motions of the evermoving tide on the earth.

As Yue looked down on the sleeping Ocean in her bed, she knew that she was meant to be here, in the spirit world, with Ocean at her side. She was meant to be his consort—his wife.

And when he awakened, she would be certain he knew this.

In Sokka's house, Suki was not so certain about things. She did not know what was happening with her husband. She did not know why or how he was doing the things he was doing.

All she knew was that Sokka had not awakened, that the ocean around Kyoshi Island was still freezing—but at a much slower rate—and that the Duke had announced a little while ago that the new boat's hull had been crushed in the harbor by the expanding ice.

The ship was gone. Their savings were gone. The debt would take everything they had and more to cover. There was nothing left.

But none of that mattered to her now. All that mattered was that her husband still lay there so still and unmoving. She needed him back with her.

Not for support, not for comfort, not for companionship. She needed him back because he was the other part of her.

She'd even let Yue keep a little part of him to have him back with her-as much as it chafed to even think of sharing him in any way with another woman.

In a brief flash of anger, Suki wished Yue had never shown up in their lives. But if she hadn't, Sokka would be dead right now, she reconsidered.

Suki reached out to touch her husband's cheek. Why did it all have to be so complicated?

The white streak in his hair was so bright it glowed. The moon had kissed him, he told Zutara. This was true. Yue had kissed him. She had marked him.

But Suki had seen him first. She'd kissed Sokka on Kyoshi Island long before Yue had known his name. And she was his wife. Nothing could change that. Not even the moon spirit.

Suki reached out to touch his face, then ran her fingers through the dark strands of his hair. Then she bent down to kiss him, to put her own mark on him once more.

But her husband did not stir.

Sokka, meanwhile, was lost.

He was completely lost in an evershifting plane of half-thought, half-memory. It was a little like being lost in the swamp outside Omashu, he decided after a while. He kept seeing glimpses of people and places he'd known, mixed in with creatures of his childhood imagination and images he recognized as from the spirit plane, both from Aang's descriptions and his own fuzzy memories of being kidnapped as a teenager by an enraged forest spirit.

He tried to just let it all flow past him, knowing that if he fought it, it would only get weirder and probably much scarier. Sure enough just then a monkey with a horrible blank space where its face should be scampered down a tree into his path, then ran away. Scary, he decided.

Then things grew misty, as if he were traveling through a deep fog off the coast of the Southern Water Tribe. He was on a boat then with his father. He suddenly remembered that day. It was the day he'd told his father he was going to build the new boat. Hakoda had only shook his head in doubtful resignation.

In retrospect, his father was right. The new boat had been a disaster thanks to that storm.

Then he was back on the boat, feeling the wave take him overboard.

Without warning, the wave washed him atop one of the Fire Nation's airships on the Day of the Comet. His black meteor sword was back in his hand. It felt good.

Then he held little Zutara's hand in his. It was the day she was born. She was so tiny, her little fingers wrapping around the end of his. He'd never held anything more precious than that tiny little girl. He could see Suki's face, tired and pale, but smiling at him.

The Spirit Oasis suddenly sprang into his view. He was surprised to see Zuko frozen to the wall. Then Zuko was gone but the oasis remained. The pond was frozen over with his neat super-ice. Well, that was no good, he decided. The fish can't live in that. So he thawed it.

And in the natural world, the pond of the real Spirit Oasis thawed as well.

Within seconds, Aang stood before him. "Sokka," the avatar cried in relief. "Thank goodness I found you."

Sokka just smiled at him, expecting any moment for him to fade away or turn into a leopardbear or something even weirder.

But Aang kept talking instead. "We've got to get you awake. Do you think maybe you can follow me back out of the spirit world?"

"I guess," Sokka replied. And as Aang faded, he put his hand on Sokka's shoulder.

But though Aang faded back into the natural world, Sokka was left behind. The watertribesman just shrugged. Such were spirit world fantasies, he decided.

To his surprise, Aang was back in only a moment. "That didn't work too well," he declared. "At least the way into the Spirit Oasis is open again. Let me try something else."

Yue sat next to Ocean, watching him breathe, waiting for him to open his eyes. She could wait an eternity if necessary, she'd decided.

Then without warning, Avatar Aang stood beside her. "My pardon," he said politely with a bow. "Do you remember me, Yue?"

"Of course I do, Aang. How could I forget?" she replied and held out her hand to him. He took it with a polite squeeze and another bow. "But you certainly did grow up," she added with a laugh.

"So did you, Yue," Aang replied, secretly blown away by the way Yue had grown up. She was . . . what was the word for it, he wondered . . . then he decided it was transcendent. She was absolutely transcendent. No wonder Sokka had gone off the deep end.

"Yue, we need your help, please," Aang began. Then he noticed Ocean's still form on the bed. "What's wrong with La?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Yue answered. "He showed up here very upset, like he was hurting or sick. Then he passed out and hasn't woken up."

Aang frowned at that. The situations were far too similar for his liking, he decided. Quickly he summarized the situation they'd found themselves in with Sokka as well.

Yue looked very troubled. "Perhaps I can bring Sokka here," Aang offered.

"No," came Yue's firm answer. "I will go with you."

Back in the Spirit Oasis, Sokka sat next to the pond, spinning little globes of water overhead in patterns of ever-increasing complexity.

Then Yue was there with Aang and he let the water go with a splash. Maybe it was the spirit world bleeding through on him, but she looked more like the watertribe princess he'd once known than like the moon spirit right at that moment. She looked worried.

"Yue, do you think you can take back at least part of the bending powers you gave Sokka?" Aang asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "I can try. Sokka, do you want me to try?"

The question took him by surprise. Did he want to give up part of this incredible ability? Maybe all of it? He could feel the crystal water of the Spirit Oasis beside him. He could feel it moving with his breathing as he bended it without even trying.

Then he looked around him at the mists surrounding the Oasis. This place was as close to real as anything he'd come across in here. But as lovely as it was, he could still feel Zutara's tiny fingers wrapped around his. He could still see Suki's lovely tired face. He'd been so scared for her every time she'd been pregnant. Each delivery had been terrifying. And with the twins he'd come very close to losing both her and the babies.

He looked up to blink back sudden tears and to his surprise, saw that the moon hung in the sky over the spirit oasis. He looked up at the beautiful, white, shining moon, but could only see Suki's face.

Then Sokka looked over at Aang and said, "I just want to go home. All I ever wanted was to go home."