Pro-Life
This time was going to be different. As soon as Kahlan had agreed to have another baby, to give Darken the son and heir he needed, he had spoken with his sorcerers. This baby was going to be a boy, Darken was determined.
He had never been much for children—growing up hearing tales of how his baby half-brother, the Seeker, would grow up to kill him might have had something to do with it—but little Nila was different.
By the time Kahlan was pregnant again, Nila could already crawl her way across the entire throne room. It took several servants just to keep track of her. She was fearless, too; once, she came upon an unattended dagger and played with it happily for several hours, brandishing it at Mistress Alina when she came to collect the child. Only a Mord'Sith, it seemed, was brave enough to face down a Rahl, even a baby Rahl, armed with a dagger.
When Mistress Alina brought little Nila, still holding the dagger and giggling happily, to her parents, saying exhaustedly, "the Princess Nila, my Lord, my Lady," Kahlan was horrified.
But Darken was overcome. Honestly, he thought, if his daughter hadn't already been mistress of his heart, she would have won it then.
But the fact remained that Nila could never be his heir. The armies of D'Hara wouldn't accept a female Lord Rahl. She'd have to Confess them all, which idea didn't appeal to Darken, and which would undoubtedly reduce their effectiveness as warriors in any case. Some missions required a certain level of danger for all concerned, even the leader. Loyalty had to be personal and absolute. The Confessed would only care about the Confessor's personal safety.
And so, when Kahlan told him she was pregnant again, he sent for his wizards. Kahlan glared at him, but submitted to their ministrations. "It is a boy, my Lord," one said at last. And Darken smiled. As usual, now that his pesky little brother the Seeker was out of the way, everything was proceeding according to plan.
If Kahlan had dared, she would have tried to abort her son. But, as she explained to Alice, trying to reason it out within herself, "I don't want to bring a male Confessor into the world. But if I do anything, if I try to make myself miscarry, Lord Rahl will kill me. And I can't leave Nila to him, she's so young…I have to protect her. I have to tell her how to bring Richard back."
"Yes, my Lady," babbled Alice, looking relieved. Kahlan knew she didn't relish the thought of being the only person left to explain to Richard what he had to do.
Still, Kahlan anxiously probed her feelings—was she a coward, clinging to this life in her gilded cage and gilded Rada'Han, instead of doing what had to be done? She had given Richard a Confessor—Darken wouldn't hurt Nila, she was sure of it. So her task was done.
She could run away, have the baby in some lonely old rebel outpost, and kill him before Darken caught up with her…but she would be leaving her daughter here. And Kahlan knew it was possible for female Confessors to be overcome by lust for power, too, not only male Confessors. She remembered Lara, who had Confessed her entire village. And the Mother Confessor before herself, who had Confessed Zedd, a Wizard of the First Order…
Kahlan bit her lip, missing Zedd. If only he were here to help her. But she was alone. She had no one to rely on but herself. Alice was weak, and young besides, and Nila a mere toddler. The other Confessors were all dead—she was the last.
And she had to protect Nila. She had to. She dismissed Alice with a wave of her hand, and only then allowed herself to fall back on the bed and weep, clutching her pillow to her face to muffle the noise. "I'm sorry, Richard," she whispered at last, curving a hand around her stomach.
She would have the baby, and hope that tradition was wrong, and Richard was right. He had saved her nephew, after all. Maybe he would forgive her this.
Creator grant she saw him again. And Kahlan, face tear-streaked and pale, sat up and prayed.