The Struggle: Chapter 6

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A/N: Sorry this took quite awhile, I'm working on two other stories, both of which are Drarry. This may become a Drarry too, not sure how the plot will develop, though. Continue reviewing! I've already got 76 reviews, I love you guys too much! Each one of you deserves a hug!

"Going somewhere, Potter?"

Harry gulped and opened his eyes, looking at the man holding his shoulders. Not surprised, but still disappointed, it was Snape. The man's eyes were seeping anger, his hands gripping Harry's shoulders all-too firmly, probably firm enough to give Harry a bruise.

"Mr. Potter, you bumbling idiot of a child, do you find me stupid?" Snape asked slowly, not taking his eyes of Harry. Harry looked away.He would not give Snape the privilege of seeing Lily's eyes.

"Potter!" Snape growled, giving the boy a firm yet gentle shake. Harry didn't bother to look back, he just rose an eyebrow and became very interested with the rug under his feet.

"Yes, sir?" asked Harry.

"I asked you a question, Mr. Potter. Do you find me to be stupid?" replied Snape. Harry thought for a second, then shrugged.

"Well, I don't know, Professor. You only managed a heat jinx over the door? I expected something much more...interesting," said Harry as calmly as he could. The fingers on his shoulders tightened to the point of pain.

"You will not speak to me in such a manor as long as you stay at my house!" Snape all but yelled. Harry finally drew his eyes up to meet Snape's, and merely shrugged again, trying to keep his face emotionless.

"You can't take points away from me," taunted Harry. Snape twisted his jaw, thinking to tell Harry of some of the more cruel punishment he had thought up, but instead ventured the conversation a different way.

"Potter, do you honestly believe that my room does not have enchantments placed over it? To alert me if someone breaks in? Of course, they are easy to overpower, only very weak wizards cannot figure out how," sneered Snape. Harry felt his hands clench into fists.

"I am not weak!" he shouted back. Snape released him and gave him a shove out of his room. Harry stumbled back into the room, but Snape held a hand out and stopped him.

"As I said, even a first year would know how to disarm the charms. Piss off, Potter, I have no urge to deal with you. I'll establish a punishment for breaking into my room later," sighed Snape. But Harry did not let him. He dove for a more touchy subject.

"Who the hell's in that photo frame, then, Professor?" Harry asked, his voice borderline on shouting. He pointed his wand to the frame, and within seconds, Snape had grasped the frame and shoved it under a pillow.

"DO NOT POINT YOUR WAND AT MY THINGS!" he bellowed. Harry tightened his grip on the wand, jabbing it towards the window. The curtains blew open and a pane of glass cracked. He smirked and looked at Snape, feeling accomplished. Snape stood emotionless, leaning against the headboard of his bed.

"I know that was my mother, Professor. And I know that was you. Why was she...hugging on you?" asked Harry quickly, his face morphing into a look of disgust. Snape reflected the look.

"To whom is in my personal picture is none of your business! A snoop, and a lousy one at that, just like your-," Snape suddenly cut off, his voice hitching in his throat. He caught a glimpse of Harry's eyes...Lily's eyes. His voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper as he said, "Father. Just like your father."

The tension in the room escalated quickly as both the men stood quietly, staring at each other. Harry couldn't think of much of a rebound, and Snape was lost in his thoughts of Lily, and how to break the news to her son. My son.

"Potter, I think we...we should talk. Have a seat in the kitchen. I'll prepare some tea," mumbled Snape, giving Harry a light shove out the door. Harry did not move, though. He crossed his arms over his chest, and gave a child-like stomp with one foot.

"No. You aren't going to try to slip something in my tea or lull me over with food. We can talk here. It's perfectly suitable," argued Harry. Snape rose his eyebrow and pointed towards the door with one long finger.

"You will do as I say and you will address me as 'sir'. Go to the kitchen," said Snape as calmly as he could. Harry rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, marching towards in the kitchen, pouting and mumbling under his breath the entire way. He eventually slammed his body into a chair and focused his eyes on the table.

Snape grabbed the photo off his nightstand, and quickly reached inside his nightstand to snatch the letter. Both in hand, he set off towards the kitchen and lied the items on the counter. He saw Harry's eyes flicker towards them, but quickly look away, focusing on the table once more.

"So, Potter, what gave you the inspiration to break into my room while I was out of the house? Already bored? Couldn't find anything to amuse your pea-sized brain?" Snape asked casually as ever, pouring cool water into a tea kettle. Harry frowned and clenched his fists.

"N-no, sir, no," said Harry, "I just...when you gave me a tour of the house the other day, we walked past your room and I saw the photograph, and I was curious..." Snape nodded slowly, turning up the heat on the stove and then flicking his wand at the kettle. It was instantly smoking.

"And you did not think to simply...ask?" inquired Snape. Harry snorted loudly and looked up, meeting Snape's eyes.

"And, Professor, would you have given me an answer?" retorted Harry. Snape opened his mouth as to insult Harry or give a smart remark, but he instead closed his mouth in defeat.

The kettle was suddenly screaming quite loudly. Snape turned sharply, flicked his wand at the kettle, and it immediately levitated off the stove. It moved it's way towards two small tea cups on the table and poured equal amounts of steaming, hot, black tea. The scent filled the air and Harry inhaled deeply before greedily reaching across the table and snatching a cup of tea.

Snape summoned the kettle back towards the stove, which he turned off, and then took a seat across from Harry, not touching the tea in front of him. He watched as Harry took a quick sip, and then proceeded to spit it across the table and onto the floor.

"Hot! Hot!" shouted Harry, waving his hand at his tongue rapidly. Snape groaned loudly and flicked his wand at the spilled tea, then waved it once at Harry's mouth. Harry sighed softly and looked at Snape, mumbling something along the lines of, "Sorry,".

"You always take small sips and let it cool, boy. Have you not been taught this?" Snape asked with a certain amount of annoyance in his voice, stuffing his wand inside his inner-cloak pocket. Harry wrapped his hands around the cup of tea firmly, taking a much smaller sip this time. He took his time swallowing.

"The Dursley's didn't really teach me many manners, or much of anything, Professor. I'm a damn good cleaner and cook, that's for sure, but that's about it," said Harry softly. Snape suddenly felt an urge to punch himself. Of course he knows no manners, he was raised worse than a pet rat.

"We will have to work at that," Snape said. Harry gave a short nod and the room went quiet for several minutes before Snape remembered what they were there for. He cleared his throat. Harry looked up from his near-empty tea cup. The men looked at each other for some time while Snape tried to formulate his words.

"Lily...your mother, that is...Lily and I...we...we had a...complicated relationship, to say the least. Yes, Potter, that is her," said Snape. He lifted his hand and waved it gently at the photograph. It glided towards them and eventually hit the table between the two men. Snape tapped the place where Lily stood gently.

"To keep it on a simple 'need-to-know' basis, yes, we were...involved. Together, if you must," choked Snape. Harry's eyes watched Snape as he twirled a finger around in his tea.

"For how long?" Harry asked quietly after a long silence. Snape inhaled deeply and leaned back in his chair.

"Need to know basis, Potter," Snape replied. Harry gave Snape a look of surprise.

"She is my mother, who was killed by the Dark Lord. Any information could be of use. I need to know."

Snape didn't lean forward for quite some time, contemplating if he was going to tell Harry the truth or not. He finally sat forward, both elbows on the table, staring deep into Harry's green eyes. Lily would be proud of you. Snape snorted at the thought. Proud? Of me? Never. Lily would be ashamed. Lily would laugh at you. "Still teaching at that school, I see? No friends? Haven't moved on past my death?" She would laugh at you and your misery...

"Professor? I just want the truth." Snape blinked twice, snapping out of his thoughts. He sat up straight and cleared his throat unnecessarily once more.

"The truth."

"Yes, sir."

Snape crossed his fingers high above his elbows on the table and rested his chin upon them. He stared at Harry for a brief moment, took a sip of his lukewarm tea, and brushed some hair out of his face.

"I'm going to tell you a story, Potter. Do not interrupt me with questions. Do not storm out if you become frustrated. Do not yell at me. Listen, and try to understand, which I gather may be difficult for you," Snape said, adding the last sentence for fear of sounding too...gentle. Harry gritted his teeth.

"Yes, sir," said Harry. Snape nodded, and began.

"Your mother, Lily, and I, we become...together, in fifth year. I was not her first pick, I suppose, but James Potter was continuously pestering her about dates. She needed a better reason besides 'having plans' or 'other commitments', so she asked me if I would sacrifice some time to pose as a fake-boyfriend. I was close friends with your mother," Harry rose an eyebrow and nodded a few times, visibly surprised thus far.

"Yes, we were close friends. Anyways, the faking worked for quite sometime, but, as usually happens in relationships, feelings began to develop," Snape said quickly. He did not want to reveal to Potter his obsession over Lily Evans since they were young children, it was far too soon to release that much information about his life.

"Luckily, feelings developed on both sides, and we got together. We married as soon as we got out of Hogwarts, a small wedding on a hillside, she was wearing a long white dress and..." Snape only stopped when Harry put up a hand in protest, his face completely twisted and looking quite green.

"Please avoid losing your lunch because of my previous relationships, Potter. Anyways, we were married for quite some time. We were happy together. Unfortunately, there was a problem, and we decided to separate. The end." Snape shrugged, but Harry did not seem to understand. His face displayed shock, disgust, and confusion.

"What happened?" Harry asked quietly.

"Our relationship problems are none of your business. I see not a therapy license. And, either way, it's over and behind us. None of it can be fixed," said Snape. Harry could hear a prominent tone of sadness and regret in his voice, and for a second, he actually pitied the man.

There was an awkward tension in the air. Snape opened his mouth a few times, but then went quiet and continued stirring his tea around with his finger. Harry sat silently, tapping his fingers on the table and focusing on a few scratches in the dark wood. After several minutes, Harry stood up and stretched his back.

"Unless there is anything else you are going to tell me, sir, may I be dismissed?" Harry asked, stretching out his arms and taking a step backwards out of the kitchen. Snape stood up.

"I do not believe I have enforced a punishment, yet. And yes, there is something else. You deserve to know what all happened...everything. Please sit." Harry shrugged and sat down once more. Snape took his seat and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose firmly.

"Your mother and I were together for several years before she reconciled with James-"

"James? My dad?" Snape flashed Harry a look which silenced him immediately.

"James Potter, correct. James and I were never, let's say, the closest of friends. We never quite got along. As you can predict, I was not the happiest camper when Lily and James became very close friends. I would often wake up to find James already in my house, or Lily would have left to spend time with him," said Snape. Harry nodded, his mouth open slightly.

"They were just friends, at the time?" Harry asked. Snape briefly nodded before continuing on with his story.

"At the time, yes. To summarize up a very long and personal story, your mother and I got into a fight, and...I said some things I shouldn't have," said Snape very quietly. He dragged his eyes away from Harry and focused on the now-cold cup of tea in front of him. Harry caught only the slightest hint of pink in his cheeks.

"What happened?" asked Harry. Snape bit his lip to keep from lashing out. He very clearly remembered the evening that he had come home to find James and Lily sitting at his kitchen table, the one they sat at now, both staring at him, asking for him to 'take a seat'.

"Your mother knew of my prior connections to the Dark Lord. She no longer felt safe, living with me, now that the war had begun. She suggested a temporary divorce, in which she would marry James and hide away until the war had passed over. It was a brilliant idea, at the time," admitted Snape, for the first time. He shifted in his seat, looking up at Harry. Lily had sat in the same place that night.

"Exactly two weeks later, she had finalized the divorced, processed the new marriage, packed, and left. She didn't tell me where they went, but they left. About one and a half months later I got my first letter from her. She-" Snape stopped instantly. He had carried the story much too far. Potter rose an eyebrow and smirked.

"You can't start a story and not finish it, sir." Snape sighed, tearing his eyes off Harry and back down to the table. He remembered the letter vividly, as it was stored in his nightstand drawer, along with every other letter or piece of Lily he had kept.

"She was pregnant. With you." Harry moved back from the table slightly. Lily cheated on him?

"I automatically assumed she had...well, cheated, for lack of a better term," said Snape awkwardly. He wasn't used to having deep conversations, much less with a boy of Harry's age. His conversations with Draco usually consisted of Potions and other school lessons.

"Is that why you never liked me?" asked Harry suddenly, the smallest hint of anger boiling somewhere deep in his voice. Snape put a hand up, signaling him to stay quiet and keep calm. Harry settled back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest.

"No. May I finish this story, or will you continue to interrupt me?" Harry didn't move or speak. Snape put his hand down.

"Fine. Your mother was always an honest person, and she honestly told me that there were a few...romantic instances with James," said Snape, frowning slightly and looking at Harry. Harry quickly understood what he meant and nodded for him to continue.

"Your mother and I lost touch very quickly afterwords. She had moved on, I assumed.. She sent me mail when she gave birth, and of course, I received a letter when she passed. I also received a letter yesterday evening." Harry frowned slightly, but nodded once again. Snape pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It was a letter your mother had composed to me several weeks before her death. It was concerning you," Harry perked up at the mention of himself.

"May I see it, sir?" he asked instantly, voice filled with worry and excitement. Harry did not have many memories of his mother, just a few pictures and tales passed down from other Professors about her.

Snape shook his head. "Eventually, perhaps, Potter," he said, "but for now, I think simply telling you the main point of the letter is needed." Harry shrugged and nodded once more, growing slightly impatient.

"Your mother was...a beautiful woman. Always honest. Always with good intentions. She had your best intentions in mind, behind this. Please remember that as I tell you what the letter said," Snape said, almost begging. He did not need Potter screaming at him, or going hostile.

"Fine. What did it say?"

"Quite simply, James was not your father," whispered Snape. Harry's eyes widened, though he did not quite understand. Lily cheated twice? With another man?

"You're lying. My mother would not cheat twice. You're just doing this to piss me off!" Harry nearly shouted, rising from the table. Snape did the same, taking a step towards Harry.

"I'm telling the honest truth. In fact, Potter, if you must, I can take a small dosage of veritaserum, if it comforts you," hissed Snape.

"I don't care. My mother would not cheat twice. She...she wasn't like that!" said Harry, his voice only slightly calmer. Snape sighed and closed his eyes.

"Your mother did not cheat twice," he said very quietly, never opening his eyes. Harry stood still for nearly a minute, not quite understanding. She didn't cheat twice? Then how would she have had me? Was there a spell? A potion?

Then suddenly, similar to the hour earlier where Harry discovered the picture frame, everything clicked in one small instant.

"Harry?" Snape said, raising an eyebrow. The boy looked quite faint and very weak. He reached out to touch his shoulder and stabilize him. Harry jumped backwards, shaking.

"Don't touch me. D-don't. Don't talk to me. D-do-" Harry turned on his heel and bolted. He ran down the hall, through the living room, and out the front door, not bothering to grab shoes. He just ran.

A/N: More coming soon! Review, review, review! :)